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THE 


ssiiss’s®  ©wnisiSo 


BY  Wm.  a.  ALCOTT. 


THIRTEENTH  EDITION, 


BOSTON:^ 

PERKINS  AND  MARVIN, 
1839. 


Entered,  according  to  act  of  Congress,  in  the  year  1835, 
By  Perkins  & Marvin, 

in  the  Clerk’s  Office  of  the  District  Court  of  the  District  of 
Massachusetts. 


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TO  THE  READER. 

When  I commenced  this  work,  my  object  was 
a mere  compilation.  There  were  many  excellent 
books  for  young  men,  already  in  circulation,  but 
none  which  I thought  unexceptionable;  and  some 
of  them  contained  sentiments  which  I could  not 
approve.  I sat  down,  therefore,  intending  to  make 
selections  from  the  choicest  parts  of  them  all,  and 
prepare  an  unexceptionable  and  practical  manual; 
such  an  one  as  I should  be  willing  to  see  in  the 
hands  of  any  youth  in  the  community. 

In  the  progress  of  my  task,  however,  I found 
much  less  that  was  wholly  in  accordance  with 
my  own  sentiments,  than  I had  expected.  The 
result  was  that  the  project  of  compilings  was  given 
up;  and  a work  prepared,  which  is  chiefly  origi- 
nal, There  are,  it  is  true,  some  quotations  from 
^Burgh’s  Dignity  of  Human  Nature,’  ^Cobbett’s 


4 


TO  THE  READER. 


Advice  to  Young  Men,’  ^ Chesterfield’s  Advice,’ 
and  Hawes’  Lectures;  but  in  general  what  I have 
derived  from  other  works  is  re-written,  and  much 
modified.  On  this  account  it  was  thought  unne- 
cessary to  refer  to  authorities  in  the  body  of  the 
work. 

The  object  of  this  book  is  to  elevate  and  reform. 
That  it  may  prove  useful  and  acceptable,  as  a 
means  to  these  ends,  is  the  hearty  wish  of 

THE  AUTHOR 

Boston,  Dec.  9,  1833. 


ADVERTISEMENT  TO  THE  FIRST  EDITION. 


The  great  purpose  of  the  Youug  Man’s  Guide, 
is  the  formation  of  such  character  in  our  young 
men  as  shall  render  them  the  worthy  and  useful 
and  happy  members  of  a great  republic.  To  this 
end,  the  author  enters  largely  into  the  means  of 
improving  the  mind,  the  manners  and  the  morals; 
’ — as  well  as  the  proper  management  of  business. 
Something  is  also  said  on  amusements,  and  had 
habits.  On  the  subject  of  marriage  he  has,  how- 
ever, been  rather  more  full  than  elsewhere.  The 
importance  of  this  institution  to  every  young  man, 
the  means  of  rendering  it  what  the  Creator  intend- 
ed, together  with  those  incidental  evils  which 
either  accompany  or  follow — some  of  them  in  ter- 
rible retribution — the  vices  which  tend  to  oppose 
His  benevolent  purposes,  are  faithfully  presented, 
and  claim  the  special  attention  of  every  youthful 
reader. 


1# 


CONTENTS. 


Introduction.  Mistakes  in  regard  to  the  disposition 
and  management  of  the  young.  19 — 26 

CHAPTER  I, — Importance  of  aiming  high  in  the 
Formation^ OF  Character. 

Section  I.  Importance  of  having  a high  standard  of 
action. — The  young  should  determine  to  rise.  We 
may  usually  become  what  we  desire  to  be.  An  anec- 
dote. Studying  the  lives  of  eminent  and  useful  men. 

27—30 

^ Section  II.  Motives  to  action.  — A regard  to  our 
own  happiness.  To  family  and  friends.  To  society. 
To  country.  To  the  will  of  God.  The  love  of  God, 
the  highest  motive.  31—38 

Section  III.  Industry.  — No  person  has  a right  to 
live  without  labor.  Determine  to  labor  as  long  as  you 
live.  Mistaken  method  of  teaching  industry.  Labor 
in  the  open  air.  Manual  labor  schools.  #38 — 43 


ADVERTISEMENT  TO  THE  SECOND  EDITION. 


The  rapid  sale  of  a large  edition  of  this  work, 
and  the  general  tribute  of  public  praise  which  has 
been  awarded  to  its  merits,  instead  of  closing  the 
eyes  of  the  Publishers  or  the  Author  against  exist- 
ing defects,  have,  on  the  contrary,  only  deepened 
their  sense  of  obligation  to  render  the  present  edi- 
tion as  perfect  as  possible;  and  no  pains  have  been 
spared  to  accomplish  this  end.  Several  new  sec- 
tions have  been  added  to  the  work,  and  some  of 
the  former  have  been  abridged  or  extended. 


advertisement  to  the  THIRD  EDITION. 

An  increasing  demand  for  the  Young  Man’s 
Guide,  evinced  by  the  sale  of  more  than  five  thou- 
sand copies  of  the  work  in  a few  months,  have 
induced  the  publishers  to  give  a third  edition,  with 
some  amendments  and  additions  by  the  author; 
who  has  also  derived  important  suggestions  from 
gentlemen  of  high  literary  and  moral  standing,  to 
whom  the  work  had  been  submitted  for  examina- 
tion. 


THE  PUBLISHERS. 


8 


CONTENTS. 


Section  IV.  Econom}^  — False  and  true;  Exam- 
ples of  the  false.  Time  is  money.  Sixty  minutes 
shown  to  be  an  hour.  Economical  habits.  1.  Do  every 
thing  at  the  time.  Anecdote.  2.  Every  thing  should 
have  its  place.  Examples.  43 — 47 

Section  V.  Indolence.  — The  indolent  only  half 
human.  Characteristics  of  an  indolent  man.  His 
epitaph.  47 — 49 

Section  VI.  Early  Rising  and  rest.  — He  who 
would  rise  early,  must  retire  early.  Morning  air. 
Advantages  of  early  rising.  1.  Things  go  better 
through  the  day.  2.  Morning  hours  more  agreeable. 

3.  Danger  of  the  second  nap.  4.  Early  risers  long- 

lived.  5.  One  hour's  sleep  before  midnight  worth  two 
after.  6.  Saving  of  time  and  money.  Estimates.  Ex- 
amples of  early  rising.  49 — 55 

Section  VH.  Duty  to  Parents.  — Reasons.  1.  For 
the  sake  of  our  own  reputation.  2.  From  love  to  our 
parents.  3.  Better  to  suffer  wrong,  than  to  do  wrong. 

4.  Nothing  gained  by  going  away.  Franklin  an  excep- 

tion to  the  general  rule.  No  sight  more  beautiful  than 
a well  ordered  and  happy  family.  Obedience  the  great 
lesson  of  life.  56 — 59 

Section  VHI.  Faithfulness.  — Our  duty  to  our 
employers.  Common  error  of  the  young.  Examples. 
The  Mahratta  prince.  69 — 61 

Section  IX.  On  Forming  Temperate  Habits. — 
Drunkenness  and  gluttony.  Indulgence  short  of  these 


CONTENTS. 


Indulgences  very  expensive.  Spending  time  at  meals. 
Water  drinkers  the  best  guests.  Temperate  habits 
tend  to  health.  Ecclesiasticus.  Examples  of  rational 
living.  Tea,  coffee,  soups,  and  all  warm  drinks  in- 
jurious. General  rules.  62 — 70 

Section  X.  Suppers.  — Customs  of  our  ancestors ; 
and  of  the  Jews.  Advantages  gained  by  avoiding 
suppers.  Eating-houses.  70 — ^73 

Section  XI.  Dress.  — Its  uses.  Neither  be  first 
nor  last  in  a fashion.  Fondness  for  dress.  Women 
not  often  misled  by  dress.  73 — 75 

Section  XII.  Bashfulness  and  Modesty.  — We  may 
be  both  bashful  and  impudent.  Bashfulness  injurious. 
Set  up  for  just  what  we  are,  and  no  more.  76 — 78 

Section  XIII.  Politeness  and  Good  Breeding. — 
Not  to  be  despised.  In  what  good  breeding  consists. 
How  acquired.  Ten  plain  rules.  78 — 82 

Section  XIV.  Personal  Habits.  — Business  of  the 
day  planned  in  the  morning.  Dressing,  shaving,  &c. 
Shaving  with  cold  water.  Anecdote.  82 — 88 

Section  XV.  Bathing  and  Cleanliness.  — Connec- 

tion of  Cleanliness  with  Moral  Purity.  Neglect  of 
this  subject.  88 — 89 

Section  XVI.  Little  Things.  — Not  to  be  disre- 
garded. Zimmerman.  The  world  made  up  of  little 
things,  89—93 


10 


CONTENTS. 


Section  XVIL  Anger,  and  the  means  of  restrain- 
ing it.  Avoid  the  first  steps.  An  error  in  education. 
Opinion  of  Dr.  Darwin.  The  (Quaker  and  the  Mer- 
chant. Zimmerman’s  method  of  overcoming  anger. 
Unreasonableness  of  returning  evil  for  evil.  93 — 99 

CHAPTER  II. — On  the  Management  of  Business. 

Section  I.  Commencing  Business.  — Avoid  debt. 
Do  not  begin  too  early.  Facts  stated.  Why  young 
men  do  not  take  warning.  Students  of  Medicine  and 
Divinity.  Examples  for  imitation.  100 — 108 

Section  11.  Importance  of  Integrity.  — Thieves 
and  robbers  respect  it.  What  it  is.  Many  kinds  of 
dishonesty.  1.  Concealing  the  market  price.  2.  Mis- 
representing it.  3.  Selling  unsound  or  defective 
goods,  and  calling  them  sound  and  perfect.  Quack  med- 
icines. 4.  Concealing  defects.  5.  Lowering  the  value 
of  things  we  wish  to  buy.  6.  Use  of  false  weights  and 
measures.  Other  kinds  of  dishonesty.  108 — 115 

Section  III.  Method.  — Memorandum  book;  its 
uses.  Rules  for  doing  much  business  in  little  time. 

116—117 

Section  IV.  Application  to  Business.  — Every  per- 
son ought  to  have  one  principal  object  of  pursuit,  and 
steadily  pursue  it.  Perseverance  of  a shopkeeper. 
All  useful  employments  respectable.  Character  of  a 
.X-  drone,  117—120 

''  Section  V.  Proper  Time  and  Season  of  doing  Bu- 


CONTENTS. 


H 


siness.  — When  to  deal  with  the  gloomy;  the  intem- 
perate ; those  unhappy  in  domestic  life  ; men  involved 
in  public  concerns.  120 — 122 

Section  VI.  Buying  upon  Trust.  — Live  within 
our  income.  Calculate.  Buy  nothing  but  what  you 
need.  Estimates  and  examples  to  show  the  folly  of 
credit.  Not  intended  as  lessons  of  stinginess. 

122—127 

Section  VII.  We  should  endeavor  to  do  our  busi- 
ness ourselves.  Four  reasons.  Trusting  dependants. 
We  can  do  many  little  things  without  hindrance. 

127—130 

Section  VIII.  Over  Trading.  — A species  fraud. 
Arises  from  a desire  to  get  rich  rapidly.  Wickedness 
of  monopolies.  130 — 131 

Section  IX.  Making  contracts  beforehand.  Al- 
ways make  bargains  beforehand.  Three  reasons.  If 
possible,  reduce  every  thing  to  writing.  131 — 132 

Section  X.  How  to  know  with  whom  to  deal. — 
Two  rules.  How  to  detect  a knave.  All  men  by  na- 
ture, avaricious.  Avoid  those  who  boast  of  good  har- 
gains.  Avoid  sanguine  promisers.  133 — 135 

Section  XI.  How  to  take  Men  as  they  are.  — How 
to  regard  a miser ; a passionate  man ; a slow  man ; the 
covetous ; those  ruled  by  their  wives ; the  boasting ; 
the  mild  tempered ; the  bully.  Six  sorts  of  people  from 
whom  you  are  not  to  expect  much  aid  or  sympathy  iiS 


CONTENTS. 


n 

life  : the  sordid,  the  lazy,  the  busy,  the  rich,  those  mis- 
erable from  poverty,  and  the  silly.  136 — 140 

Section  XII.  Of  desiring  the  good  opinion  of  oth- 
ers. — Those  not  far  from  ruin  who  do  n't  care.  — The 
other  extreme  to  be  avoided.  140 — 141 

Section  XIII.  Intermeddling  with  the  affairs  of 
others. — Matchmakers.  Taking  sides  in  quarrels.  Ish- 
maelites.  142 — 143 

Section  XIV.  On  keeping  Secrets.  — Who  may 
safely  be  trusted.  Anecdotes.  143 — 145 

Section  XV.  Fear  of  Poverty.  — Little  real  pover- 
ty in  this  country.  Shame  of  being  thought  poor  leads 
to  worse  evils  than  poverty  itself.  Fear  of  poverty 
often  a cause  of  suicide.  145 — 150 

Section  XVI.  Speculation.  — The  habit  early  form- 
ed. It  is  a species  of  gaming.  Its  sources. 

150—152 

Section  XVII.  Lawsuits.  — Avoid  the  law.  Liti- 
giousness, a disease.  Consider  what  is  gained  by  it. 
Examples  of  loss.  Subdue  the  passions  which  lead  to 
it.  Lawsuits  unnecessary.  152 — 156 

Section  XVIII.  Hard  dealing.  — Its  unchristian 
nature.  Two  prices.  Habits  of  the  Mohammedans. 

156-157 


CONTENTS* 


13 


CHAPTER  III. — On  Amusements  and  Indulgences. 

Section  I.  On  Gaming.  — Every  gambler  a robber. 
The  first  player.  Gaming  produces  nothing.  Cor- 
rupts manners.  Discourages  industry.  Opinions  of 
Locke  and  others.  What  tremendous  evils  it  leads 
to.  France,  England.  Different  sorts  of  gaming. 
1.  Cards j dice,  and  billiards.  2.  Shooting  matches. 
These  brutal  practices  still  sometimes  tolerated.  3. 
Horst  racing  and  cock  fighting.  A recent  bull  fight. 

158—171 

Section  II.  On  Lotteries.  — Lotteries  theuw^i  spe- 
feies  of  Gaming.  They  are  a species  of  swindling. 
Estimates  to  show  their  folly.  Appeal  to  the  reader. 

171—176 

Section  III.  The  Theatre.  — A school  of  vice. 
Injurious  to  health.  Diseases  produced  by  it.  Its 
danger  to  morals.  Opinions  and  facts  from  Griscom^ 
Rousseau,  Hawkins,  Tillotson,  Collier,  Hale,  Burghj 
and  Plato.  Anecdote.  Antiquity  of  theatres.  No 
safety  but  in  total  abstinence.  176 — 183 

Section  IV.  Use  of  Tobacco.  — 1.  Smoking.  Pic- 
ture of  its  evils  in  Germany.  Tobacco  consumed 
in  the  United  States.  When  it  was  introduced.  None 
fecommend  it  to  their  children.  A most  powerful 
poison.  Savages  fond  of  it,  in  proportion  to  their  de- 
gradation. No  poisonous  plant,  so  much  used,  except 
the  betel  of  India.  How  smoking  can  be  abolished. 
S.  Chewing.  Apologies  for  the  practice.  Tobacco 
does  not  preserve  teeth.  3.  Taking  snuff.  Disgust 
fend  danger  of  this  habit.  183 — 1 91 

2 


14 


dONl*ENTSi 


Section  V.  Useful  Recreations.  — Recreations  iil 
the  open  air.  Playing  ball ; quoits ; nine  pins,  &c* 
Skating.  Dancing.  Its  uses  and  dangers.  Reading 
sometimes  a recreation.  Sports  of  the  field  considered. 

191—194 

CHAPTER  IV.— Improvement  of  the  Mind.  ' 

Section  I.  Habits  of  Observation.  — We  should 
keep  our  ^ eyes  open.’  Anecdote  from  Dr.  Dwight. 
Avoid  pedantry.  Anecdote  of  a surgeon;  — of  the 
elder  and  younger  Pliny.  195 — 199 

Section  II.  Rules  for  Conversation.  — Rules  of  pro- 
fiting from  it.  Hear  others.  Do  not  interrupt  them. 
Avoid  those  who  use  vulgar  or  profane  language. 
Speak  late  yourself.  Avoid  great  earnestness.  Never 
be  overbearing.  199 — 202 

Section  III.  On  Books  and  Study.  — How  to  over- 
come a dislike  to  them.  Lyceums,  Travels,  Histories, 
Newspapers.  A common  mistake.  Education  only 
the  key  to  knowledge.  Men  have  commenced  stu- 
dents at  40.  Franklin  always  a learner.  We  can 
find  time  for  study.  Practical  Studies.  1.  Geography. 
How  to  study  it.  Its  importance.  2.  History.  How 
pursued.  3.  Arithmetic.  Practical  arithmeticians. 
The  mere  use  of  the  pen  and  pencil  do  not  give 
a knowledge  of  this  branch.  4.  Chemistry^  and  other 
Natural  Sciences.  Usefulness  of  Chemistry.  5.  Gram- 
mar and  Composition.  One  method  of  obtaining 
a practical  knowledge  of  these  branches.  6.  Letter 


CONTENTS. 


15 


writing.  7.  Voyages,  travels,  and  hiography.  8.  JVov~ 
els.  Not  recommended,  especially  to  those  who  have 
little  leisure.  9.  Newspapers.  Newspapers,  though 
productive  of  much  evil,  on  the  whole  useful.  Five 
rules  to  assist  the  reader  in  making  a judicious  selec- 
tion. Politics.  History  and  constitution  of  our  coun- 
try studied.  10.  Keeping  a Journal.  Examples. 
Other  ways  of  improving  the  mind.  Blank  book, 
with  pencil  in  our  pockets.  11.  Preservation  of  Books 
and  Papers.  Books  should  be  covered ; kept  clean ; 
used  with  dry  hands.  Turning  down  leaves.  Using 
books  for  pillows,  props  to  windows,  seats,  &c. 

202—229 

CHAPTER  V.  — Social  and  Moral  Improvement. 

Section  I.  Female  Society,  in  general.  — Both  sexes 
should  be  educated  together.  What  we  are  to  think 
of  those  who  despise  female  society.  How  it  polishes 
and  improves  us.  230 — 234 

Section  II.  Advice  and  Friendship  of  Mothers. 

234—235 

Section  III.  Society  of  Sisters  — Attentions  due 
them.  Their  benefit.  236 — 237 

Section  IV.  General  Remarks  and  Advice.  — Too 
great  intimacy.  Avoid  trifling.  Beware  of  idolatry. 

238—241 

Section  V,  Lyceums  and  other  Social  Meetings.  — - 


16 


CONTENTS. 


Value  of  Lyceums,  and  courses  of  lectures.  How  they 
might  be  improved.  Their  cheapness.  241 — 243 

Section  VI.  Moral  Instruction.  — Sabbath  Schools 
and  Bible  Classes.  Value  of  the  latter.  243 — 244 

Section  VII.  Of  Female  Society  in  reference  to 
Marriage.  — Every  youth  should  keep  matrimony  in 
view.  Particular  advice.  The  wish  to  marry,  pru- 
dently indulged,  will  have  a great  influence  on  our 
character.  Error  of  a pedagogue.  244 — 250 


CHAPTER  VI.  — Marriage. 

Section  I.  Why  Matrimony  is  a duty.  — Importance 
of  the  subject.  Considered  as  a school.  Early  mar- 
riage. Objections.  Seven  great  evils  from  late  mar 
riages.  251 — 258 

Section  H.  General  Considerations.  — Husbands  and 
wives  gradually  resemble  each  other.  Considerations 
for  those  who  embark  in  matrimony.  258 — 262 

^ Section  HI.  Female  Qualifications  for  Matrimony. 
— 1.  Moral  Excellence.  2.  Common  Sense.  3.  Desire 
for  improi^ement.  4.  Fondness  for  children.  Mise- 
rable condition  of  a husband  or  wife,  where  this  is 
wanting.  5.  Love  of  domestic  concerns.  Evils  of 
ignorance  on  this  point.  Fashionable  education  in 
fault.  6.  Sobriety.  Definition  of  the  term.  An  anec- 
dote. Love  of  mental  and  bodily  excitement  usually 
ponnected.  7.  Industry.  How  to  judge  whether  a 


CONTENTS* 


17 


l^rson  is  industrious.  8.  Early  rising.  A mark  of 
industry.  Late  rising  difficult  of  cure.  9.  Frugality. 
Its  importance  shown.  10.  Personal  Neatness.  Its 
comforts.  11.  A good  temper.  Its  importance  illus- 
trated. 12.  Accomplishments.  263 — 305 


CHAPTER  VII. — Criminal  Behavoir. 

Section  I.  Inconstancy  and  Seduction.  — Constancy. 
Its  importance  illustrated  by  an  example.  Cruelty  of 
sporting  with  the  affections  of  a female.  Opinion  of 
Burgh.  306 — 313 

Section  II.  Licentiousness. — Most  common  in 
cities.  New  Orleans.  Hint  to  legislators.  A horrid 
picture.  Not  wholly  imaginary.  Avoid  the  first  erring 
step.  Example  of  premature  decrepitude.  Anecdote 
of  C.  S.  Solitary  vice.  This  vice  compared  with 
intemperance.  A set  of  wretches  exposed.  Apologies 
sometimes  made.  Nature  of  the  evils  this  error  pro- 
duces. The  law  of  God.  Medical  testimony.  Entire 
celibacy,  or  purity,  not  unfavorable  to  health.  Youth 
ought  to  consider  this,  and  study  the  human  frame. 
Causes  of  the  error  in  question.  1.  False  delicacy. 
Our  half  Mohammedan  education.  2.  Books ^ Pic- 
tureSj  &c.  Great  extent  of  this  evil.  Opinion  of  Dr. 
Dwight.  3.  Obscene  and  improper  songs.  Anecdote 
of  a schoolmaster.  4.  Double  entendres.  Parental 
errors.  Evening  Parties.  314 — 337 

2^ 


18 


CONTENTS. 


Section  III.  Diseases  of  Licentiousness.  Nine  or 
ten  of  them  enumerated.  The  ninth  described.  Four 
examples  of  suffering.  When  the  young  ought  to 
tremble.  Happiness  of  having  never  erred.  What 
books  may  be  safely  and  usefully  consulted.  Extract 
from  Rees’  Cyclopedia.  Other  forms  of  disease.  Of 
excess.  All  degrees  of  vice  are  excessive.  Duties  of 
Parents  as  guides  to  the  young.  Obligations  of  Medi- 
cal men.  Concluding  Remarks.  337 — 354 


ADDITIONAL  CHAPTER. 

Section  1.  Choice  of  Friends.  Importance  of  a few 
female  friends.  Caution  necessary  in  making  a choice. 
Story  of  Lucius — his  mistake.  Reflections.  Character 
of  friends.  Select  a small  number  only. 

Section  II.  Rudeness  of  manners.  Wearing  nata 
in  the  house — its  tendency.  Practical  questions.  Man- 
ners in  families.  , 

Section  III.  Self-praise.  Egotism.  We  should  say 
little  about  ourselves. 


INTRODUCTION. 


The  young  are  often  accused  of  being  thought- 
less, rash,  and  unwilling  to  be  advised. 

That  the  former  of  these  charges  is  in  a great 
measure  just,  is  not  denied.  Indeed,  what  else 
could  be  expected?  They  are  thoughtless^  for  they 
are  yet  almost  strangers  to  the  world,  and  its  cares 
and  perplexities.  They  are  forward,  and  some- 
times rash;  but  this  generally  arises  from  that 
buoyancy  of  spirits,  which  health  and  vigor  im- 
part. True,  it  is  to  be  corrected,  let  the  cause  be 
what  it  may;  but  we  shall  correct  with  more 
caution,  and  probably  with  greater  success,  when 
we  understand  its  origin. 

That  youth  are  unwilling  to  he  advised,  as  a gen 
eral  rule,  appears  to  me  untrue.  At  least  I have  not 
found  it  so.  When  the  feeling  does  exist,  I believe 
it  often  arises  from  parental  mismanagement,  or 
from  an  unfortunate  method  of  advising. 


20 


INTRODUCTION. 


The  infant  seeks  to  grasp  the  burning  lamp;— - 
the  parent  endeavors  to  dissuade  him  from  it.  At 
length  he  grasps  it,  and  suffers  the  consequences. 
Finally,  however,  if  the  parent  manages  him  pro- 
perly, he  learns  to  follow  his  advice,  and  obey  his 
indications,  in  order  to  avoid  pain.  Such,  at  least, 
is  the  natural  result  of  management.  And 

the  habit  of  seeking  parental  counsel,  once  formed, 
is  not  easily  eradicated.  It  is  true  that  temptation 
and  forgetfulness  may  lead  some  of  the  yomig 
occasionally  to  grasp  the  lamp,  even  after  they  are 
told  better;  but  the  consequent  suffering  generally 
re^ores  them  to  their  reason.  It  is  only  when  the 
parent  neglects  or  refuses  to  give  advice,  and  for 
a long  time  manifests  little  or  no  sympathy  with  his 
child,  that  the  habit  of  filial  reliance  and  confidence 
is  destroyed.  In  fact  there  are  very  few  children 
indeed,  however  improperly  managed,  who  do  not 
in  early  life  acquire  a degree  of  this  confiding, 
inquiring,  counsel-seeking  disposition. 

Most  persons,  as  they  grow  old,  forget  that  they 
have  ever  been  young  themselves.  This  greatly 
disqualifies  them  for  social  enjoyment.  It  was 
wisely  said;  ^ He  who  would  pass  the  latter  part  of 
his  life  with  honor  and  decency,  must,  when  he  is 
young,  consider  that  he  shall  one  day  be  old,  and 
when  he  is  old,  remember  that  he  has  once  been 
young.’  But  if  forgetfulness  on  this  point  disqual- 
ifies a person  for  56^  enjoyment,  how  much  more 
for  that  whichas  social.^ 


INTRODUCTIOIf. 


21 


Still  more  does  it  disqualify  us  for  giving  advice. 
While  a lad,  I was  at  play,  one  day,  with  my  mates, 
when  two  gentlemen  observing  us,  one  of  them 
said  to  the  otherj  ^ Do  you  think  you  ever  acted  as 
foolishly  as  those  boys  do  ?’  ^ Why  yes;  I suppose 
I did;  ’ was  the  reply.  ^ Well,’  said  the  other, 
never  did; — I know  I never  did.’ 

Both  of  these  persons  has  the  name  of  parent, 
but  he  who  could  not  believe  he  had  ever  acted  like 
a child  himself,  is  greatly  destitute  of  the  proper 
parental  spirit.  He  never — or  scarcely  ever — puts 
himself  to  the  slightest  inconvenience  to  promote, 
directly,  the  happiness  of  the  young,  even  for  half 
an  hour. 

He  supposes  every  child  ought  to  be  grave,  like 
himself.  If  he  sees  the  young  engaged  in  any  of 
those  exercises  which  are  really  adapted  to  their 
years,  he  regards  it  as  an  entire  loss  of  time,  besides 
being  foolish  and  unreasonable.  He  would  have 
them  at  work,  or  at  their  studies.  Whereas  there 
is  scarcely  anything  that  should  give  a parent  more 
pleasure  than  to  see  his  children,  in  their  earliest 
years,  enjoying  that  flow  of  spirits,  which  leads 
them  forth  to  active,  vigorous,  blood-stirring  sports. 

Of  all  persons  living,  he  who  does  not  remember 
th  at  he  has  once  been  young,  is  the  most  completely 
disqualified  for  giving  youthful  counsel.  Hg  ob- 
trudes his  advice  occasionally,  when  the  youth  is 


INTRODUCTION. 


S2 

already  under  temptation,  and  borne  along  with 
the  force  of  a vicious  current;  but  because  he  dis- 
regards it,  he  gives  him  up  as  heedless,  perhaps  as 
obstinate.  If  advice  is  afterwards  asked,  his  man- 
ners are  cold  and  repulsive.  Or  perhaps  he  frowns 
him  away,  telling  him  he  neyeY  follows  his  advice, 
and  therefore  it  is  useless  to  give  it.  So  common 
is  it  to  treat  the  young  with  a measure  of  this  spe- 
cies of  roughness,  that  I cannot  wonder  the  maxim 
has  obtained  that  the  young,  generally,  ^ despise 
counsel.’  And  yet,  I am  fully  convinced,  no  max- 
im is  farther  from  the  truth. 

When  we  come  to  the  very  close  of  life,  we  can- 
not transfer,  in  a single  moment,  that  knowledge 
of  the  world  and  of  human  nature  which  an  expe- 
rience of  70  years  has  afforded  us.  If,  therefore, 
from  any  cause  whatever,  we  have  not  already 
dealt  it  out  to  those  around  us,  it  is  likely  to  be  lost; 
— and  lost  for  ever.  Now  is  it  not  a pity  that  what 
the  young  would  regard  as  an  invaluable  treasure, 
could  they  come  at  it  in  such  a manner,  and  at 
such  seasons,  as  would  be  agreeable  to  them,  and 
that,  too,  which  the  old  are  naturally  so  fond  of 
distributing,  should  be  buried  with  their  bodies.^ 

Let  me  counsel  the  young,  then,  to  do  every 
thing  they  can,  consistently  with  the  rules  of  good 
breeding,  to  draw  forth  from  the  old  the  treasures 
of  which  I have  been  speaking.  Let  them  even 
make  sonie  sacrifice  of  that  buoyant  feeling  whichi 


INTRODUCTIOJT. 


28 


at  their  age,  is  so  apt  to  predominate.  Let  them 
conform^  for  the  time,  in  some  measure,  to  the 
gravity  of  the  aged,  in  order  to  gain  their  favor, 
and  secure  their  friendship  and  confidence.  I do 
not  ask  them  wholly  to  forsake  society,  or  their 
youthful  pastimes  for  this  purpose,  or  to  become 
grave  habitually;  for  this  would  be  requiring  too 
much.  But  there  are  moments  when  old  people, 
however  disgusted  they  may  be  with  the  young,  do 
so  far  unbend  themselves  as  to  enter  into  cheerful 
and  instructive  conversation.  I can  truly  say  that 
when  a boy,  some  of  my  happiest  hours  were  spent 
in  the  society  of  the  aged — those  too,  who  were 
not  always  what  they  should  have  been.  The  old 
live  in  the  past,  as  truly  as  the  young  do  in  the 
future.  Nothing  more  delights  them  than  to  relate 
stories  of  mlden  time,’  especially  when  themselves 
were  the  heroes.  But  they  will  not  relate  them, 
unless  there  is  somebody  to  hear.  Let  the  young 
avail  themselves  of  this  propensity,  and  make  the 
most  of  it.  Some  may  have  been  heroes  in  waiq 
some  in  travelling  the  country;  others  in  hunting, 
fishing,  agriculture  or  the  mechanic  arts;  and  it 
may  be  that  here  and  there  one  will  boast  of  his 
skill,  and  relate  stories  of  his  success  in  that  noblest 
of  arts  and  employments  — the  making  of  his  fel- 
low creatures  wise,  and  good,  and  happy. 

In  conversation  with  all  these  persons,  you  will 
doubtless  hear  much  that  is  uninteresting.  But 


INTRODUCTION, 


!^4 

where  will  you  find  anything  pure  or  perfect  below 
the  sun  ? The  richest  ores  contain  dross.  At  the 
same  time  you  cannot  fail,  unless  the  fault  is  your 
own,  to  learn  many  valuable  things  from  them  alL 
From  w'ar  stories,  you  will  learn  history;  from 
accounts  of  travels,  geography,  human  character^ 
manners  and  customs;  and  from  stories  of  the  good 
or  ill  treatment  which  may  have  been  experienced^ 
you  will  learn  how  to  secure  the  one,  and  avoid 
the  other.  From  one  person  you  will  learn  one 
thing;  from  another  something  else.  Put  these 
shreds  together,  and  in  time  you  will  form  quite 
a number  of  pages  in  the  great  book  of  human 
nature.  You  may  thus,  in  a certain  sense,  live 
several  lives  in  one. 

One  thing  more  is  to  be  remembered.  The 
more  you  have,  the  more  you  are  bound  to  give. 
Common  sense,  as  well  as  the  Scripture,  says,  ‘ It 
is  more  blessed  to  give  than  to  receive.’  Remem-^ 
ber  that  as  you  advance  in  years  you  are  bound  to 
avoid  falling  into  the  very  errors  which,  ‘ out  of 
your  own  mouth’  you  have  ' condemned  ’ in  those 
who  have  gone  before  you;  and  to  make  your-" 
selves  as  acceptable  as  you  can  to  the  young,  in 
order  to  secure  their  confidence,  and  impart  to 
them,  little  by  little,  those  accumulated  treasures 
of  experience  which  you  have  acquired  in  going 
through  life,  but  which  must  otherwise,  to  a very 
great  extent,  be  buried  with  you  in  your  graves^ 


INTRODUCTION^ 


25 


But,  my  young  friends,  there  is  one  method  be- 
sides conversation,  in  which  you  may  come  at  the 
wisdom  of  the  aged ; and  that  is  through  the  me- 
dium of  books.  Mamj  old  persons  have  written 
well,  and  you  cannot  do  better  than  to  avail  your- 
selves of  their  instructions.  This  method  has  even 
one  advantage  over  conversation.  In  the  perusal 
of  a book,  you  are  not  so  often  prejudiced  or  disgust- 
ed by  the  repulsive  and  perhaps  chilling  manner 
of  him  who  wrote  it,  as  you  might  have  been  from 
his  conversation  and  company. 

I cannot  but  indulge  the  hope  that  you  will  find 
some  valuable  information  and  useful  advice  in  this 
little  book.  It  has  cost  me  much  labor  to  embody, 
in  so  small  a compass,  the  results  of  my  own  expe- 
rience on  sucn  a variety  of  subjects,  and  to  arrange 
my  thoughts  in  such  a manner  as  seemed  to  me 
most  likely  to  arrest  and  secure  your  attention. 
The  work,  however,  is  not  wholly  tlie  result  of  my 
own  experience,  for  I have  derived  many  valuable 
thoughts  from  other  writers. 

An  introductory  chapter  or  preface  is  usually 
rather  dry,  but  if  this  should  prove  sufficiently 
interesting  to  deserve  your  attention  till  you  have 
read  it,  and  the  table  of  contents,  thoroughly,  I have 
strong  hopes  that  you  will  read  the  rest  of  the  book. 
And  in  accordance  with  my  own  principles,  I be- 
lieve you  will  tiy  to  follow  my  advice ; for  I take  it 
3 


26 


INTRODUCTION. 


for  granted  that  none  will  purchase  and  read  this 
work  but  such  as  are  willing  to  be  advised.  I 
repeat  k,  therefore  — I go  upon  the  presumption 
that  my  advice  will,  in  the  main,  be  followed. 
Not  at  every  moment  of  your  lives,  it  is  true ; for 
you  will  be  exposed  on  all  sides  to  temptation,  and, 
1 fear,  sometimes  fall.  But  when  you  come  to  re- 
view the  chapter  (for  I hope  I have  written  nothing 
but  what  is  worth  a second  reading)  which  contains 
directions  on  that  particular  subject  wherein  you 
have  failed,  and  find,  too,  how  much  you  have 
suffered  by  neglecting  counsel,  and  rashly  seizing 
the  lamp^  I am  persuaded  you  will  not  soon  fall 
again  in  that  particular  direction. 

In  this  view,  I submit  these  pages  to  the  youth 
of  our  American  States.  If  the  work  should  not 
please  them,  I shall  be  so  far  from  attributing  it  to 
any  fault  or  perversity  of  theirs,  that  I shall  at  once 
conclude  I have  not  taken  a wise  and  proper 
method  of  presenting  my  instructions. 


THE  YOUNG  MAN’S  GUIDE. 


CHAPTER  L 

tje  jFormation  of  €:i)aracter.  • 


Section  I.  Importance  of  aiming  high,  in  the  for^ 
mation  of  character. 

To  those  who  have  carefully  examined  the  intro- 
duction and  table  of  contents,  I am  now  prepared 
to  give  the  following  general  direction ; Fix  upon  a 
high  standard  of  character.  To  be  thought  well  of, 
is  not  sufhcient.  The  point  you  are  to  aim  at,  is, 
the  greatest  possible  degree  of  usefulness. 

Some  may  thLnk  there  is  danger  of  setting  too 
high  a standard  of  action.  I have  heard  teachers 
contend  that  a child  will  learn  to  write  much  faster 
by  having  an  inferior  copy,  than  by  imitating  one 
which  is  comparatively  perfect ; ‘ because,’  say  they, 
‘ a pupil  is  liable  to  be  discouraged  if  you  give  him 
di  perfect  copy  but  if  it  is  only  a little  in  advance 
of  his  own,  he  will  take  courage  from  the  belief 
that  lie  shall  soon  be  able  to  equal  it.’  I am  fully 


28  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

A perfect  copy.  Aim  higli.  Some  have  no  leading  object. 


convinced,  however,  that  this  is  not  so.  The  more 
perfect  the  copy  you  place  before  the  child,  pro- 
vided it  be  ivritten,  and  not  engraved^  the  better. 
For  it  must  always  be  possible  in  the  nature  of 
things,  for  the  child  to  imitate  it ; and  what  is  not 
absolutely  impossible,  every  child  may  reasonably 
be  expected  to  aspii*e  after,  on  the  principle,  that 
whatever  man  has  done,  man  may  do. 

So  in  human  conduct,  generally;  whatever  is 
possible  should  be  aimed  at.  Did  my  limits  permit, 
1 might  show  that  it  is  a part  of  the  divine  economy 
to  place  before  his  rational  creatures  a perfect  stand- 
ard of  action,  and  to  make  it  their  duty  to  come  up 
to  it. 

He  who  only  aims  at  little,  will  accomplish,  but 
little.  Expect  great  things,  and  attempt  great  things. 
A neglect  of  this  rule  produces  more  of  the  diffe- 
rence in  the  character,  conduct,  and  success  of  men, 
than  is  commonly  supposed.  Some  start  in  life 
without  any  leading  object  at  all ; some  with  a low 
one;  and  some  aim  high:  — and  just  in  proportion 
to  the  elevation  at  which  they  aim,  will  be  their 
progress  and  success.  It  is  an  old  proverb  that  he 
who  aims  at  the  sun,  will  not  reach  it,  to  be  sure , 
but  his  arrow  will  fly  higher  than  if  he  aims  at  an 
object  on  a level  with  himself.  Exactly  so  is  it,  in 
the  formation  of  character,  except  in  one  point.  To 
reach  the  sun  with  a arrow  is  an  impossibility,  but  a 
youth  may  aim  high  without  attempting  impossi- 
bilities. 


ON  HAVING  A HIGH  AIM.  29 

Resolve  to  be  useful.  Eminent  models.  Anecdote, 

Let  me  repeat  the  assurance  that,  as  a general 
rule,  you  may  be  ivliatever  you  tvill  resolve  to  be.  De- 
termine tliat  you  will  be  useful  in  the  world,  and 
you  shall  be.  Young  men  seem  to  me  utterly  un- 
conscious of  what  they  are  capable  of  being  and 
doing.  Them  efforts  are  often  few  and  feeble,  be- 
cause they  are  not  awake  to  a full  conviction  that 
any  thing  great  or  distinguished  is  in  their  power. 

But  whence  came  an  Alexander,  a Ceesar,  a 
Charles  XII,  or  a Napoleon  ? Or  whence  the  bet- 
ter order  of  spmits,  — a Paul,  an  Alfred,  a Luther,  a 
Howard,  a Penn,  a Washington  ? Were  not  these 
men  once  like  yourselves?  What  but  self  exertion, 
aided  by  the  blessing  of  Heaven,  rendered  these 
men  so  conspicuous  for  usefulness  ? Rely  upon  it, 
— what  these  men  once  were,  you  may  be.  Or  at 
the  least,  you  may  make  a nearer  approach  to  them, 
than  3"ou  are  ready  to  believe.  Resolution  is  almost 
omnipotent.  Those  little  words,  try,  and  begin,  are 
sometimes  great  in  their  results.  ‘ I can’t,’  never  ac- 
complished anything;  — ‘I  will  try,’ has  achieved 
wonders. 

This  position  might  be  proved  and  illustrated 
by  innumerable  facts ; but  one  must  suffice. 

A young  man  who  had  wasted  })is  patrimony  by 
profligacy,  wliilst  standing,  one  day,  on  the  brow 
of  a precipice  from  which  he  had  determined  to 
throw  himself,  formed  tlie  sudden  resolution  to  re- 
gain what  he  had  lost.  The  purpose  thus  formed  was 
kept;  and  though  he  began  by  shoveling  a load  of 


30 


THE  YOUNG  man’s  GUIDE. 


'! Use  of  Biography. Prospects  of  a happy  age. 

coals  into  a cellar,  for  which  he  only  received  twelve 
and  a half  cents,  yet  he  proceeded  from  one  step  to 
another  till  he  more  than  recovered  his  lost  posses- 
sions, and  died  worth  sixty  thousand  pounds  sterl- 
ing. 

You  will  derive  much  advantage  from  a careful 
perusal  of  the  lives  of  eminent  individuals,  especi- 
ally of  those  who  were  good  as  well  as  great.  You 
will  derive  comparatively  little  benefit  from  read- 
ing the  lives  of  those  scourges  of  their  race  who 
have  drenched  the  earth  in  blood,  except  so  far  as 
it  tends  to  show  you  what  an  immense  blessing 
they  might  have  been  to  the  world,  had  they  de- 
voted to  the  work  of  human  improvement  those 
mighty  energies  which  were  employed  in  human 
destruction.  Could  the  physical  and  intellectual  en- 
ergy of  Napoleon,  the  order  and  method  of  Alfred, 
the  industry,  frugality,  and  wisdom  of  Franklin 
and  Washington,  and  the  excellence  and  untiring 
perseverance  of  Paul,  and  Penn,  and  Howard,  be 
united  in  each  individual  of  the  rising  generation, 
w^ho  can  set  limits  to  the  good,  which  they  might, 
and  inevitably  would  accomplish ! Is  it  too  much 
to  hope  that  some  happier  age  will  witness  the  real- 
ity ? Is  it  not  even  probable  that  the  rising  genera- 
tion may  afford  many  such  examples  ? 


MOTIVES  TO  ACTION.  31 

Pursuit  of  happiness.  Selfishness.  Regard  to  friends. 


Section  II.  On  Motives  to  action. 

Not  a few  young  men  either  have  no  fixed  prin- 
ciples, no  governing  motive  at  all,  or  they  are  in- 
fluenced by  those  which  are  low'  and  unworthy.  It 
is  painful  to  say  this,  but  it  is  too  true.  On  such, 
I would  press  the  importance  of  the  following  con- 
siderations. 

Among  the  motives  to  action  which  I would  pre- 
sent, the  first  is  a regard  to  your  own  happiness.  To 
diis  you  are  by  no  means  indifiTerent  at  present. 
Nay,  the  attainment  of  happiness  is  your  primary 
object.  You  seek  it  in  every  desire,  word,  and  ac- 
aon.  But  you  sometimes  mistake  the  road  that 
leads  to  it,  either  for  the  w^ant  of  a friendly  hand  to 
guide  you,  or  because  you  refuse  to  be  guided.  Or 
what  is  most  common,  you  grasp  at  a smaller  good, 
which  is  near,  and  apparently  certain,  and  in  so 
doing  cut  yourselves  off  from  the  enjoyment  of  a 
good  which  is  often  infinitely  greater,  though  more 
remote. 

Let  me  urgp,  in  the  second  place,  a regard  for 
the  family  to  w'hich  you  belong.  It  is  true  you 
can  never  fully  know,  unless  the  bitterness  of  in- 
gratitude should  teach  you,  the  extent  of  the  duty 
you  owe  to  your  relatives ; and  especially  to  your 
parents.  You  cannot  know — at  least  till  you  are 
parents  yourselves,  — how  their  hearts  are  bound 
up  in  yours.  But  if  you  do  not  in  some  measum 


82  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Regard  to  society.  Duties  of  the  young,  as  Americans. 

know  it,  till  ibis  late  period,  you  are  not  fit  to  be 
parents. 

In  the  third  place,  it  is  due  to  society,  particu^ 
larly  to  the  neighborhood  or  sphere  in  which  you 
move,  and  to  the  associations  to  which  you  may 
belong,  that  you  strive  to  attain  a very  great  eleva- 
tion of  character.  Here,  too,  I am  well  aware 
that  it  is  impossible,  at  your  age,  to  perceive  fully, 
how  much  you  have  it  in  your  power  to  contribute, 
if  }'ou  will,  to  the  happiness  of  those  around  you  ; 
and  here  again  let  me  refer  you  to  the  advice  and 
guidance  of  aged  friends. 

But,  fourthly,  it  is  due  to  the  nation  and  age  to 
which  you  belong,  that  you  fix  upon  a high  stand- 
ard of  character.  This  work  is  intended  for 
American  youth,  American!  did  I say.^  This 
word,  alone,  ought  to  call  forth  all  your  energies, 
and  if  there  be  a slumbering  faculty  within  you, 
arouse  it  to  action.  Never,  since  the  creation,  were 
the  youth  of  any  age  or  country  so  imperiously 
called  upon  to  exert  themselves,  as  those  whom  1 
now  address.  Never  before  were  there  so  many 
important  interests  at  stake.  Never  were  such 
immense  results  depending  upon  a generation  of 
men,  as  upon  that  which  is  now  approaching  the 
stage  of  action.  These  rising  millions  are  destined, 
according  to  all  human  probability,  to  form  by  far 
the  greatest  nation  that  ever  constituted  an  entire 
community  of  freemen,  since  the  world  began.  To 
form  tlie  character  of  these  millions  involves  a 


MOTIVES  TO  ACTION.  33 

How  much  depends  on  the  young.  Appeal.  Duty  to  God. 


gi'eater  amount  of  responsibility,  individual  and  col- 
lective,  than  any  otlier  work  to  which  humanity 
has  ever  been  called.  And  the  reasons  are,  it  seems 
to  me,  obvious. 

Now  it  is  for  you,  my  young  friends,  to  determine 
whether  these  weiglity  responsibilities  shall  be  ful- 
filled. It  is  for  you  to  decide  whether  this  greatest 
of  free  nations  shall,  at  the  same  time,  be  the  best. 
And  as  every  nation  is  made  up  of  individuals,  you 
are  each,  in  reality,  called  upon  daily,  to  settle  this 
question:  ‘Shall  the  United  States,  possessing  the 
most  ample  means  of  instruction  within  the  reach 
of  nearly  all  her  citizens,  the  happiest  govern- 
ment, the  healthiest  of  climates,  the  greatest  abun- 
dance of  the  best  and  most  wholesome  nutriment, 
with  every  other  possible  means  for  developing  all 
the  powers  of  human  nature,  be  peopled  with  the 
most  vigorous,  powerful,  and  happy  race  of  human 
beings  which  the  world  has  ever  known  ? ’ 

There  is  another  motive  to  which  I beg  leave, 
for  one  moment,  to  direct  your  attention.  You  are 
bound  to  fix  on  a high  standard  of  action,  from  the 
desire  of  obeying  the  will  of  God.  He  it  is  who 
has  cast  your  lot  in  a country  which  — all  things 
considered  — is  the  happiest  below  the  sun.  He 
it  is  who  has  given  you  such  a wonderful  capacity 
for  happiness,  and  instituted  the  delightful  rela- 
tions of  parent  and  child,  and  brother  and  sister, 
and  friend  and  neighbor.  I might  add.  He  it  is, 
too,  who  has  given  you  the  name  J^merican,  — a 


34 

Objection. 


THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 


Founded  on  mistake.  Explanation. 

name  which  alone  furnishes  a passport  to  many 
civilized  lands,  and  like  a good  countenance,  or  a 
becoming  dress,  prepossesses  every  body  in  your 
favor. 

But  what  young  man  is  there,  I may  be  asked, 
who  is  not  influenced  more  or  less,  by  all  the  mo- 
tives which  have  been  enumerated  ? Who  is  there 
that  does  not  seek  his  own  happiness  ? Who  does 
not  desire  to  please  his  parents  and  other  relatives, 
bis  friends  and  his  neighbors  ? Who  does  not  wish 
to  be  distinguished  for  his  attachment  to  country 
and  to  liberty  ? Nay,  who  has  not  even  some  regard, 
in  his  conduct,  to  the  will  of  God  ? 

I grant  that  many  young  men,  probably  the  most 
of  those  into  whose  hands  this  book  will  be  likely 
to  fall,  are  influenced,  more  or  less,  by  all  these  con- 
siderations. All  pursue  their  own  happiness,  no 
doubt.  By  far  the  majority  of  the  young  have, 
also,  a general  respect  for  the  good  opinion  of 
others,  and  the  laws  of  the  Creator. 

Still,  do  not  thousands  and  tens  of  thousands  mis- 
take, as  I have  already  intimated,  in  regard  to  what 
really  promotes  their  own  happiness  ? Is  there  any 
certainty  that  the  greatest  happiness  of  a creature  can 
be  secured  without  consulting  the  will  of  the  Crea- 
tor? And  do  not  those  young  persons  greatly  err, 
who  suppose  that  they  can  secure  a full  amount,  even 
of  earthly  blessings,  without  conforming,  witli  the 
utmost  strictness,  to  those  rules  for  conduct,  v/hich 
the  Bible  and  the  Book  of  Nature,  so  plainly  make 
known  ? 


MOTIVES  TO  ACTION*  35 

Avarice,  Sensuality.  Ambition.  Their  tendency. 

Too  many  young  men  expect  happiness  from 
wealth.  Tliis  is  their  great  object  of  study  and 
action,  by  night  and  by  day.  Not  that  they  suppose 
there  is  an  inherent  value  in  the  wealth  itself,  hut 
only  that  it  will  secure  the  means  of  procuring  the 
happiness  they  so  ardently  desire.  But  the  farther 
they  go,  ill  the  pursuit  of  wealth,  for  the  sake  of 
hajipiness,  especially  if  successful  in  their  plans  and 
business,  the  more  they  forget  their  original  pur- 
pose, and  seek  wealth  for  the  sake  of  wealth.  To 
get  rich,  is  their  principal  motive  to  .action. 

So  it  is  in  regard  to  the  exclusive  pursuit  of 
sensual  pleasure,  or  civil  distinction.  Tlie  farther 
we  go,  the  more  we  lose  our  original  character, 
and  the  more  we  become  devoted  to  the  objects 
of  pursuit,  and  incapable  of  being  roused  by  other 
motives. 

The  laws  of  God,  whether  we  find  them  in  the 
constitution  of  the  universe  around  us,  or  go  higher 
and  seek  them  in  the  revealed  word,  are  founded 
on  a thorough  knowledge  of  human  nature,  and  ail 
its  tendencies.  Do  you  study  natural  science  — the 
laws  which  govern  matter,  animate  and  inanimate? 
What  is  the  lesson  which  it  constantly  inculcates, 
but  that  it  is  man’s  highest  interest  not  to  violate  or 
attempt  to  violate  the  rides  which  Infinite  Wisdom 
has  adopted ; and  that  every  violation  of  his  laws 
brings  punishment  along  with  it?  Do  you  study 
the  laws  of  God,  as  revealed  in  the  Bible  ? iVhd  do 
not  they,  too,  aim  to  inculcate  the  necessity  of  con- 


36  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Study  of  nature.  Morality.  Something  still  higher. 

stant  and  endless  obedience  to  his  will,  at  the  same 
time  that  their  rejection  is  accompanied  by  the 
severest  penalties  which  heaven  and  earth  can  in- 
flict.^ What,  in  short,  is  the  obvious  design  of 
the  Creator,  wherever  and  whenever  any  traces  of 
his  character  and  purposes  can  be  discovered? 
What,  indeed,  but  to  show  us  that  it  is  our  most 
obvious  duty  and  interest  to  love  and  obey  Him  ? 

The  young  man  whose  highest  motives  are  to 
seek  his  own  happiness,  and  please  his  friends  and 
neighbors,  and  the  world  around  him,  does  much. 
This  should  never  be  denied.  He  merits  much  — 
not  in  the  eye  of  God,  for  of  tliis  I have  nothing  to 
say  in  this  volume — but  from  his  fellow  mon.  And 
although  he  may  have  never  performed  a single 
action  from  a desire  to  obey  God,  and  make  his 
fellow  men  really  better^  as  well  as  happier,  he  may 
still  have  been  exceedingly  useful,  compared  with  a 
large  proportion  of  mankind. 

But  suppose  a young  man  possesses  a character 
of  this  stamp  — and  such  there  are.  How  is  he 
ennobled,  how  is  the  dignity  of  his  nature  advanced, 
how  is  he  elevated  from  the  rank  of  a mere  com- 
panion of  creatures, — earthly  creatures,  too, — to 
that  of  a meet  companion  and  fit  associate  for  the 
inhabitants  of  the  celestial  world,  and  the  Father  of 
all ; when  to  these  traits,  so  excellent  and  amiable  in 
themselves,  is  joined  the  pure  and  exalted  desire  to 
pursue  his  studies  and  his  employments,  his  pleas- 
ures and  his  pastimes  — in  a word,  every  thing  — 


MOTIVES  TO  ACTION.  37 

Love  of  God  the  highest  motive.  How  it  is  shown. 

even  the  most  trifling  concern  vrhich  is  ivcMh  doing, 
exactly  as  God  would  wish  to  have  it  done ; and 
make  the  means  of  so  doing,  his  great  and  daily 
study  ? 

This,  then,  brings  us  to  the  highest  of  human 
motives  to  action,  the  love  of  God.  Thou  shalt  love 
the  Lord  thy  God  supremely,  and  thou  shalt  love 
thy  neighbor  as  thyself,  are  the  two  great  commands 
which  bind  the  human  family  together.  When 
our  love  to  God  is  evinced  by  pure  love  to  man, 
and  it  is  our  constant  prayer,  ‘ Lord  what  wilt  thou 
have  me  to  do  then  we  come  under  the  influence 
of  motives  which  are  worthy  of  creatures  destined 
to  immortality.  When  it  is  our  meat  and  drink,  from 
a sacred  regard  to  the  Father  of  our  spirits,  and  of 
all  things  in  the  universe,  material  and  immaterial, 
to  make  every  thought,  word  and  action,  do  good — 
have  a bearing  upon  the  welfare  of  one  or  more, 
and  the  more  the  better  — of  our  race,  then  alone 
do  we  come  up  to  the  dignity  of  our  nature,  and, 
by  Divine  aid,  place  ourselves  in  the  situation  for 
which  the  God  of  nature  and  of  grace  designed  us. 

I have  thus  treated,  at  greater  length  than  I had  at 
first  intended,  of  the  importance  of  having  an  elevat- 
ed aim,  and  of  the  motives  to  action.  On  the  means  by 
which  young  men  are  to  attain  this  elevation,  it  is  the 
purpose  of  this  little  w^ork  to  dwell  plainly  and  fully. 
These  means  might  be  classed  in  three  great  divi- 
sions ; viz.  physical,  mental,  and  moral.  Whatever  re- 
4 


38  THE  YOUNG  MAN  S GUIDE. 

Every  person  should  labor.  Numerous  employments. 

lates  to  the  health,  belongs  to  the  first  division ; what- 
ever to  the  improvement  of  the  mind,  the  second ; 
and  the  formation  of  good  manners  and  virtuous 
habits,  constitutes  the  thii’d.  But  although  an  ar- 
rangement of  this  sort  might  have  been  more  logical, 
n would  probably  have  been  less  interesting  to  the 
reader.  The  means  of  religious  improvement,  ap- 
‘^ropriately  so  called,  require  a volume  of  themselves. 

Section  III.  Industry, 

. Nothing  is  more  essential  to  usefulness  and  hap- 
piness in  life,  than  habits  of  industry.  ‘This  we 
commanded  you,’  says  St.  Paul,  that  if  any  would 
not  work,  neither  should  he  eat.’  Now  this  would 
be  the  sober  dictate  of  good  sense,  had  the  apostle 
never  spoken.  It  is  just  as  true  now  as  it  was  2000 
years  ago,  that  no  person  possessing  a sound  mind 
in  a healthy  body,  has  a right  to  live  in  this  world 
without  labor.  If  he  claims  an  existence  on  any 
other  condition,  let  him  betake  himself  to  some 
other  planet. 

There  are  many  kinds  of  labor.  Some  which 
are  no  less  useful  than  others,  are  almost  exclusively 
mental.  You  may  make  your  own  selection  from  a 
very  wide  range  of  employments,  all,  perhaps,  equal- 
ly important  to  society.  But  something  you  w,ust 
do.  Even  if  you  happen  to  inherit  an  ample  for- 
tune, your  health  and  happiness  demand  that  you 
Bhould  labor.  To  live  in  idleness,  even  if  you  have 


INDITSTIIY. 


89 

Slavery. 


Self  dependence.  Misery  of  relying  on  others. 

tPie  means,  is  not  only  injurious  to  yourself,  but  a 
species  of  fraud  upon  the  community,  and  the  chil- 
dren,— if  children  you  ever  have,  — who  have  a 
claim  upon  you  for  what- you  can  earn  and  do. 

Let  me  prevail  with  you  then,  when  I urge  you 
to  set  out  in  life  fully  determined  to  depend  chiefly 
on  yourself,  for  pecuniary  support ; and  to  be  in 
this  respect,  independent.  In  a country  where  the 
general  rule  is  that  a person  shall  rise, — if  he  rise  at 
all, — by  Ills  own  merit,  such  a resolution  is  indispen- 
sable. It  is  usually  idle  to  be  lookmg  out  for  sup- 
port from  some  other  quarter.  Suppose  you  should 
obtain  a place  of  office  or  trust  through  the  friend- 
ship, favor,  or  affection  of  others ; what  then  ? Why, 
you  hold  your  post  at  uncertainties.  It  may  be 
taken  from  you  at  almost  any  hour.  But  if  you 
depend  on  yourself  alone,  in  this  respect,  your 
mountain  stands  strong,  and  cannot  very  easily  be 
moved. 

He  who  lives  upon  any  thing  except  his  own 
labor,  is  incessantly  surrounded  by  rivals.  He  is  in 
daily  danger  of  being  out-bidden ; his  very  bread 
depends  upon  caprice,  and  he  lives  in  a state  of 
never  ceasing  fear.  His  is  not,  indeed,  the  dog’s  life, 
‘ hunger  and  idleness,’  but  it  is  worse ; for  it  is  ‘ idle- 
ness with  slavery  f the  latter  being  just  the  price  of 
the  former. 

Slaves,  are  often  well  fed  and  decently  clothed; 
but  they  dare  not  speak.  They  dare  not  be  suspect- 
ed even  to  think  differently  from  their  master,  des- 


40  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Mental  Slavery.  We  should  labor  as  long  as  vve  live. 

pise  his  acts  as  much  as  they  may ; — let  him  be 
tyrant,  drunkard,  fool,  or  all  three  at  once,  they 
must  either  be  silent,  or  lose  his  approbation. 
Though  posisessing  a thousand  times  his  knowledge, 
they  yield  to  his  assumption  of  superior  under- 
standing ; though  knowing  it  is  they  who,  in  fact,  do 
all  that  he  is  paid  for  doing,  it  is  destruction  to  them 
to  seem  as  if  they  thought  any  portion  of  the  service 
belonged  to  themselves. 

You  smile,  perhaps,  and  ask  what  all  this  tirade 
against  slavery  means.  But  remember,  there  is 
slavery  of  several  kinds.  There  is  merital  slavery 
as  well  as  bodily  ; and  tlie  former  is  not  confined  to 
any  particular  division  of  the  United  States. 

Begin,  too,  with  a determination  to  labor  through 
life.  There  are  many  who  suppose  that  when  they 
have  secured  to  themselves  a competence,  they  shall 
sit  with  folded  arms,  in  an  easy  chair,  the  rest  of 
their  days,  and  enjoy  it.  But  they  may  be  assured 
that  this  will  never  do.  The  very  fact  of  a person’s 
having  spent  the  early  and  middle  part  of  life  in 
active  usefulness,  creates  a necessity,  to  the  body 
and  mind,  of  its  continuance.  By  this  is  not  meant 
that  men  should  labor  as  hard  in  old  age,  even  in 
proportion  to  their  strength,  as  in  early  life.  Youth 
requires  a great  variety  and  amount  of  action,  matu- 
rity not  so  much,  and  age  still  less.  Yet  so  much 
as  age  does,  in  fact,  demand,  is  more  necessary  than 
to  those  who  are  younger.  Children  are  so  tena- 
cious of  life,  that  they  do  not  appear  to  suffer 


ir>DUSTRT. 


41 

Evils  of  idleness.  Anecdote.  Labor  in  the  open  air. 

immcdiatdy,  if  exercise  is  neglected ; though  a day 
of  reckoning  must  finally  come. 

Hence  we  see  the  reason  why  those  who  i-etire 
from  business  towards  the  close  of  life,  so  often 
become  diseased,  in  body  and  mind ; and  instead  of 
enjoying  life,  or  making  those  around  them  happy, 
become  a source  of  misery  to  themselves  and 
others. 

Most  people  have  a general  belief  in  the  impor- 
tance of  industrious  habits ; and  yet  not  a few  mal^e 
strange  work  in  endeavoring  to  form  them.  Some 
attempt  to  do  it  by  compulsion ; others  by  flattery. 
Some  think  it  is  to  be  accomplished  by  set  lessons, 
in  spite  of  example ; others  by  example  alone. 

A certain  father  who  was  deeply  convinced  of 
the  importance  of  forming  his  sons  to  habits  of  in- 
dustry, used  to  employ  them  whole  days  in  remov- 
ing and  replacing  heaps  of  stones.  This  was  well 
intended,  and  arose  from  regarding  industry  as  a 
Iiigh  accomplishment;  but  there  is  some  danger  of 
defeating  our  own  pui^ose  in  this  way,  and  of  pro- 
ducing disgust  Besides  this,  labor  enough  can 
usually  be  obtained  which  is  obviously  profitable. 

All  persons,  without  exception,  ought  to  labor 
more  or  less,  every  day  in  the  open  air.  Of  the  truth 
of  this  opinion,  the  public  are  beginning  to  be  sensi- 
ble; and  hence  we  hear  much  said,  lately,  about 
manual  labor  schools.  Those  who,  from  particular 
circumstances,  cannot  labor  m the  open  air,  should 
substitute  in  its  place  some  active  mechanical  en> 


42  THE  YOUNG  MAn’s  GUIDE. 

High  notions.  Too  proud  to  labor.  Consequences. 

ployment,  together  with  suitable  calisthenic  or  gym- 
nastic exercises. 

It  is  a great  misfortune  of  the  present  day,  that 
almost  every  one  is,  by  his  ovm  estimate,  raised 
above  his  real  state  of  life.  Nearly  every  person 
you  meet  with  is  aiming  at  a situation  in  which  he 
shall  be  exempted  from  the  drudgery  of  laboring 
with  his  hands. 

Now  we  cannot  all  become  lords'*  and  ^ gentle- 
men^^ if  we  would.  There  must  be  a large  part  of 
us,  after  all,  to  make  and  mend  clothes  and  houses, 
and  carry  on  trade  and  commerce,  and,  in  spite  of 
all  that  we  can  do,  the  far  gi'eater  part  of  us  must 
actually  tvork  at  something ; otherwise  we  fall  under 
the  sentence  ; ‘ He  who  will  not  work  shall  not  eat,'* 
Yet,  so  strong  is  the  propensity  to  be  thought  ‘ gen- 
tlemen so  general  is  this  desire  amongst  the  youth 
of  this  proud  money  making  nation,  that  thousands 
upon  thousands  of  them  are,  at  this  moment,  in  a 
state  which  may  end  in  starvation;  not  so  much 
because  they  are  too  lazy  to  earn  their  bread,  as 
because  they  are  too  proud ! 

And  what  are  the  consequences^  A lazy  youth 
becomes  a burden  to  those  parents,  whom  he 
ought  to  comfort,  if  not  support.  Always  aspiring 
to  something  higher  than  he  can  reach,  his  life  is 
a life  of  disappointment  and  shame.  If  marriage 
hefall  him,  it  is  a real  affliction,  involving  others  as 
well  as  himself.  His  lot  is  a thousand  times  worse 
tlian  that  of  the  common  laborer.  Nineteen  times 


ON  ECONOMr.  43 

False  economy^  Examples  of  it.  Franklin’s  maxim. 

out  of  twenty  a premature  death  awaits  him : and, 
alas ! how  numerous  are  the  cases  in  which  that 
death  is  most  miserable,  not  to  say  ignominious ! 

Section  IV.  On  Economy. 

There  is  a false,  as  well  as  a true  economy.  I 
have  seen  an  individual  who,  with  a view  to  econo- 
my, was  in  the  habit  of  splitting  his  wafei-s.  Some- 
times a thick  wafer  can  be  split  into  two,  which 
will  answer  a very  good  purpose;  but  at  others, 
both  parts  fall  to  pieces.  Let  the  success  be  ever  so 
complete,  how'ever,  all  who  reflect  for  a moment  on 
the  value  of  time,  must  see  it  to  be  a losing  process. 

I knew  a laboring  man  who  would  hire  a horse, 
and  spend  the  greater  part  of  a day,  in  going  six  or 
eight  miles  and  purchasing  half  a dozen  bushels  of 
grain,  at  sixpence  less  a bushel  than  he  must  have 
given  near  home.  Thus  to  gain  fifty  cents,  he  sub- 
jected himself  to  an  expense,  in  time  and  money,  of 
one  hundred  and  fifty.  These  are  very  common 
examples  of  defective  economy ; and  of  that  ‘ with- 
holding’ which  the  Scripture  says  ‘tends  to  pov- 
erty.’ 

Economy  in  time  is  economy  of  money  — for  it 
needs  not  Franklin  to  tell  us  that  time  is  equivalent 
to  money.  Besides,  I never  knew  a person  who 
was  economical  of  the  one,  who  was  not  equally  so 
of  the  other.  Economy  of  time  will,  therefore,  be 
an  important  branch  of  study. 


44  THE  YOtTNG  MAn’s  GUIDE. 

'Take  care  of  pence  and  minutes.  Letter  from  a teacher. 

But  the  study  is  rather  difficult.  For  though 
every  young  man  of  common  sense  knows  that  an 
hour  is  sixty  minutes,  very  few  seem  to  know  that 
sixty  minutes  make  an  hour.  On  this  account 
many  waste  fragments  of  time, — of  one,  two,  three 
or  five  minutes  each  — without  hesitation,  and  ap- 
parently without  regret ; — never  thinking  that  fifteen 
or  twenty  such  fragments  are  equal  to  a full  hour. 
‘ Take  care  of  the  pence,  the  pounds  will  take  care 
of  themselves,’  is  not  more  true,  than  that  hours 
will  take  care  of  themselves,  if  you  will  only  secure 
the  minutes.  * 

In  order  to  form  economical  habits,  several  hn- 

* A teacher,  who  has  been  pleased  to  say  much  in  behalf 
of  this  work,  and  to  do  much  to  extend  its  circulation,  in  a 
late  letter,  very  modestly,  but  properly  makes  the  following 
inquiry;  ‘Has  not  Dr.  Franklin’s  precept,  time  is  money , 
made  many  misers'?  Is  it  not  used  without  sufficient  quali- 
fication'? ’ 

There  is  no  good  thing,  nor  any  good  advice,  but  what 
may  be  abused,  if  used  or  taken  without  qualification. 
There  may  be  misers  in  regard  to  time,  as  well  as  money; 
and  no  one  can  become  miserly  in  the  one  respect  without 
soon  becoming  so  in  the  other.  He  who  cannot  or  rather 
will  not  give  any  portion  of  his  time  to  promote  the  happi- 
ness of  those  around  him,  in  the  various  ways  of  doing  good, 
which  perpetually  offer,  lest  it  should  take  from  his  means  of 
earning  property,  is  as  much  to  be  pitied  as  he  who  hoards 
all  his  dollars  and  cents.  Still  it  is  true  that  youth  should 
husband  well  their  time,  and  avoid  wasting  either  that  or 
their  money. 


ON  ECONOMT. 


45 


A time  for  every  thing.  Anecdote.  All  have  leisure. 

portant  points  must  be  secured.  You  must  have 
for  every  purpose  and  thing  a time,  and  place ; and 
every  thing  must  be  done  at  the  time,  and  ail  tilings 
put  in  their  place, 

1.  Every  thing  must  he  done  at  the  time,  Wliether 
you  attempt  little  or  much,  let  every  hour  have  its 
employment,  in  business,  study,  social  conversation, 
or  diversion ; and  unless  it  be  on  extraordinary  oc- 
casions, you  must  not  suffer  your  plan  to  be  broken. 
It  is  in  this  way  that  many  men  who  perform  an 
incredible  amount  of  business,  have  abundant  leis- 
ure. And  it  is  for  want  of  doing  business  systemati- 
cally that  many  who  effect  but  little,  never  find 
much  leisure.  They  spend  their  lives  in  literally 
‘ doing  nothing. 

An  eminent  prime  minister  of  Holland  was  asked 
how  he  could  perform  such  a vast  amount  of  busi- 
ness, as  it  was  Vi--\vn  he  did,  and  yet  have  so  much 
leisure.  ‘I  do  every  thing  at  the  time;’  was  the 
reply. 

Some  of  you  will  say  you  have  no  room  for  any 
plan  of  your  own ; that  your  whole  time  is  at  the 
will  of  your  master,  or  employer.  But  this  is  not  so. 
There  are  few  persons  wlio  are  so  entirely  devoted 
to  others  as  not  to  have  minutes,  if  not  hours,  every 
day,  which  they  can  call  their  own.  Now  here  it 
is  that  character  is  tried  and  proved.  He  alone 
who  is  wise  in  small  matters,  will  be  wise  in  large 
ones.  Whether  your  unoccupied  moments  amount 
in  a day  to  half  an  hour,  or  an  hour,  or  two  hours. 


46  THE  TOUNG  MAn’s  GUIDE. 

Reading  to  the  purpose.  Anecdote.  A place  for  things 

have  somethiug  to  do  in  each  of  them.  If  it  be 
social  conversation,  the  moment  your  hour  arrives, 
engage  in  it  at  once;  if  study,  engage  at  once  in 
that.  The  very  fact  that  you  have  but  a very  few 
minutes  at  your  command,  will  create  an  interest  in 
your  employment  during  that  time. 

Perhaps  no  persons  read  to  better  purpose  than 
those  who  have  but  veiy  little  leisure.  Some  of 
the  very  best  minds  have  been  formed  in  this  man- 
ner. To  repeat  their  names  would  be  to  mention  a 
host  of  self  educated  men,  in  this  and  in  other  coun- 
tries. To  show  what  can  be  done,  I will  mention 
one  fact  which  fell  under  my  own  observation.  A 
young  man,  about  fifteen  years  of  age,  unaccustom- 
ed to  study,  and  with  a mind  wholly  undisciplined, 
read  Rollin’s  Ancient  History  through  in  about 
three  months,  or  a fourth  of  a year ; and  few  per- 
sons were  ever  more  closely  confined  to  a laborious 
employment  than  he  was  during  the  whole  time. 
Now  to  read  four  such  works  as  Rollin  in  a yeai*, 
is  by  no  means  a matter  to  be  despised. 

2.  Every  thing  should  have  its  place.  Going  into 
a shop,  the  other  day,  where  a large  number  of  per- 
sons were  employed,  I observed  the  following 
motto,  in  large  letters,  pasted  on  the  side  of  the 
room;  ‘Put  every  thing  in  its  proper  place.’  I 
found  the  owner  of  the  shop  to  be  a man  of  order 
and  economy. 

An  old  gentleman  of  my  acquaintance,  who  al- 
ways had  a place  for  every  thing,  made  it  a rule,  if 


INDOLENCir, 


47 

A severe  rule.  Slaves  to  indolence.  Complainers. 

any  thing  was  out  of  its  place,  and  none  of  his  chil- 
dren could  find  it,  to  blame  the  whole  of  them* 
This  was  an  unreasonable  measure,  but  produced 
its  intended  effect.  His  whole  family  follow  his 
example;  they  have  a place  for  every  thing,  and 
they  put  every  thing  in  its  place. 

Unless  both  the  foregoing  rules  are  observed,  true 
economy  does  not  and  cannot  exist.  But  without 
economy,  life  is  of  little  comparative  value  to  our- 
selves or  others.  This  trait  of  character  is  generally 
claimed,  but  more  rarely  possessed. 

Section  V.  Indolence, 

One  of  the  greatest  obstacles  in  the  road  to  excel- 
lence, is  indolence.  I have  known  young  men  who 
would  reason  finely  on  the  value  of  time,  and  the 
necessity  of  rising  early  and  improving  every  mo- 
ment of  it.  Yet  I have  also  known  these  same 
aspiring  young  men  to  lie  dozing,  an  hour  or  two 
in  the  morning,  after  the  wants  of  nature  had  been 
reasonably,  and  more  than  reasonably  gratified. 
You  can  no  more  rouse  them,  with  all  their  fine, 
arguments,  than  you  can  a log.  There  they 'Me, 
completely  enchained  by  indolence. 

I have  known  others  continually  complain  of  the 
shortness  of  time ; that  they  had  no  time  for  busi- 
ness, no  time  for  study,  &c.  Yet  they  would  lavish 
hours  in  yawning  at  a public  house,  or  hesitating 
whether  tliey  had  better  go  to  the  theatre  or  stay;  or 


48 


THE  YOUNG  Ilian’s  guide. 


Indexision  in  the  young  Some  of  its  evils. 

whetlier  they  had  better  get  up,  or  indulge  in  ‘a 
little  more  slumber.’  Such  people  wear  the  most 
galling  chains,  and  as  long  as  they  continue  to  wear 
them  there  is  no  reasoning  with  them. 

An  indolent  person  is  scarcely  human : he  is  half 
quadruped,  and  of  the  most  stupid  species  too.  He 
may  have  good  intentions  of  discharging  a duty, 
while  that  duty  is  at  a distance ; but  let  il  approach, 
let  him  view  the  time  of  action  as  near,  and  down 
go  his  hands  in  languor.  He  wills^  perhaps;  but  he 
wnwills  in  the  next  breath. 

What  is  to  be  done  with  such  a man,  especially 
if  he  is  a young  one  ? He  is  absolutely  good  for 
nothing.  Business  tires  him ; reading  fatigues  him ; 
the  public  service  interferes  with  his  pleasures,  or 
restrains  his  freedom.  His  life  must  be  passed  on 
a bed  of  down.  If  he  is  employed,  moments  are  as 
hours  to  him  — if  he  is  amused,  hours  are  as  mo- 
ments. In  general,  his  whole  time  eludes  him,  he 
lets  it  glide  unheeded,  like  water  under  a bridge. 
Ask  him  what  he  has  done  with  his  morning,  — he 
cannot  tell  you ; for  he  has  lived  without  reflection, 
and  almost  without  knowing  whether  he  has  lived 
at  all. 

The  indolent  man  sleeps  as  long  as  it  is  possible 
for  him  to  sleep,  dresses  slowly,  amuses  himself  in 
conversation  with  the  first  person  that  calls  upon 
him,  and  loiters  about  till  dinner.  Or  if  he  engages 
in  any  employment,  however  important,  he  leaves 
it  the  moment  an  opportunity  of  talking  occurs.  At 


EARLY  RISING. 


49 


Short  history  of  the  indolent.  Late  hours  censured. 

length  dinner  is  served  up;  and  after  lounging  at 
the  table  a long  time,  the  evening  will  probably  be 
spent  as  unprofitably  as  the  morning : and  this  it  may 
be,  is  no  unfair  specimen  of  his  whole  life.  And  is 
not  such  a wretch,  for  it  is  improper  to  call  him  a 
man  — good  for  nothing?  What  is  he  good  for.^ 
How  can  any  rational  being  be  willing  to  spend  the 
precious  gift  of  life  in  a manner  so  worthless,  and 
so  much  beneath  the  dignity  of  human  nature.? 
When  he  is  about  stepping  into  the  grave,  how  can 
he  review  the  past  with  any  degree  of  satisfaction  ? 
What  is  his  history,  whether  recorded  here  or  there, 
— in  golden  letters,  or  on  the  plainest  slab  — but, 
‘ he  was  born’  and  ‘ he  died ! ’ 

Section  VI.  Early  Rising  and  Rest 

Dr.  Rush  mentions  a patient  of  his  who  thouglit 
himself  wonderfully  abstinent  because  he  drank  no 
spirituous  or  fermented  liquors,  except  a bottle  of 
wine  or  so,  after  dinner ! 

In  like  mahner  some  call  it  early  to  retire  at  ten 
or  eleven  o^clocL  Others  think  ten  very  late.  Dr. 
Good,  an  English  writer  on  medicine,  in  treating 
of  the  appropriate  means  of  preventing  the  gout  in 
those  who  are  predisposed  to  it,  after  giving  direc- 
tions in  regard  to  diet,  drink,  exercise,  &c.,  recom- 
mends an  early  hour  of  retiring  to  rest.  ‘By  all 
means,’  says  he,  ‘you  should  go  to  bed  by  eleven.’ 

To  half  the  population  of  New  England  such  a 
5 


50  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Late  evening  parties.  Morning  air.  Uses  of  early  rising. 

dil'ection  would  seem  strange ; but  by  the  inhabitants 
of  cities  and  large  towns,  who  already  begin  to  ape 
the  customs  and  fashions  of  the  old  world,  the 
caution  is  w^ell  understood.  People  who  are  in  the 
habit  of  making  and  attending  parties  which  com- 
mence at  9 or  10  o’clock  in  the  evenings  can  hardly 
be  expected  to  rise  with  the  sun. 

We  hear  much  said  about  the  benefit  of  the 
morning  aii*.  Many  wise  men  have  supposed  the 
common  opinion  on  this  subject  to  be  erroneous; 
and  that  the  mistake  has  arisen  from  the  fact  that 
being  refreshed  and  invigorated  by  rest,  the  change 
is  ivithin  instead  of  without ; that  our  physical  frames 
and  mental  faculties  are  more  healthy  than  they 
were  the  previous  evening,  rather  than  that  the 
surrounding  atmosphere  has  altered. 

Whether  the  morning  air  is  more  healthy  or  not, 
it  is  certainly  healthy  enough.  Besides,  there  are 
so  many  reasons  for  early  rising  that  if  I can  per- 
suade the  reader  to  go  to  bed  early,  I shall  have 
little  fear  of  his  lying  late  in  the  morning. 

1st.  He  who  rises  early  and  plans  his  work,  and 
early  sets  himself  about  it,  generally  finds  his  busi- 
ness go  well  with  him  the  wiiole  day.  He  has 
taken  time  by  the  foretop ; and  will  be  sure  to  go 
before,  or  drive  his  business ; while  his  more  tardy 
neighbor  ‘ suffers  his  business  to  drive  him.’  There 
is  something  striking  in  the  feeling  produced  by 
beginning  a day’s  work  thus  seasonably.  It  gives 
an  impulse  to  a man’s  thoughts,  speech,  and  actions, 


EARLY  RISING?. 


51 


Sir  Matthew  Hale.  Laborers  in  the  field.  Late  rising. 

which  usually  lasts  through  the  clay.  This  is  not  a 
mere  whim,  but  sober  fact ; as  can  be  attested  by 
thousands.  The  person  who  rises  late.^  usually 
pleads  (for  mankind  are  veiy  ingenious  in  defence 
of  what  falls  in  with  their  own  inclinations,)  that  he 
does  as  much  in  the  progress  of  the  day,  as  those 
who  rise  early.  This  may,  in  a few  instances,  be 
true ; but  in  general,  facts  show  the  reverse.  The 
motions  of  the  early  riser  will  be  more  lively  and 
vigorous  all  day.  He  may,  indeed,  become  dull 
late  in  the  evening,  but  he  ought  to  be  so. 

Sir  Matthew  Hale  said  that  after  spending  a Sun- 
day well,  the  rest  of  the  week  was  usually  pros- 
perous. This  is  doubtless  to  be  accounted  for  — 
in  part  at  least  — on  the  above  principle. 

2.  In  the  warm  season,  the  morning  is  the  most 
agreeable  time  for  labor.  Many  farmers  and  me- 
chanics in  the  country  perform  a good  half  day’s 
work  before  the  people  of  the  city  scarcely  know 
that  the  sun  shines.* 

3.  To  lie  snoring  late  in  the  morning,  asshnilates 
us  to  the  most  beastly  of  animals.  Burgh,  an  in- 
genious English  writer,  justly  observes ; ^ There  is 
no  time  spent  more  stupidly  than  that  which  some 
luxurious  people  pass  m a morning  between  sleep- 

* Dr.  Franklin,  in  view  of  the  latter  fact,  wrote  a humorous 
Essay,  at  Paris,  in  which  he  labored  hard  to  show  the  peo- 
ple of  that  luxurious  and  dissipated  city,  that  the  sun  gives 
light  as  soon  as  it  rises. 


52  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Second  naps.  Early  risers  long  lived.  Sleep  before  midnight. 

ing  and  waking,  after  nature  has  been  fully  gratified. 
He  who  is  awake  may  be  doing  something : he  who 
is  asleep,  is  receiving  the  refreshment  necessary  t.o 
fit  him  for  action:  but  the  hours  spent  in  dozing 
and  slumbering  can  hardly  be  called  existence.’ 

The  late  Dr.  Smith,  of  Yale  College,  in  his  lectures, 
used  to  urge  on  his  hearers  never  to  take  Hhe  second 
nap,^  He  said  that  if  this  rule  were  steadily  ana 
universally  followed  by  persons  in  health,  — there 
would  be  no  dozing  or  oversleeping.  If,  for  once, 
they  should  awake  from  the  first  nap  before  nature 
was  sufficiently  restored,  the  next  night  would  re- 
store the  proper  balance.  In  laying  this  down  as 
a rule.  Dr.  Smith  would,  of  course,  except  those  in- 
stances in  which  we  are  awakened  by  accident. 

4.  It  has  been  remarked  by  experienced  physi- 
cians that  they  have  seldom,  if  ever,  known  a person 
cf  great  age,  who  was  not  an  early  riser.  In  enu- 
merating the  causes  of  longevity,  Rush  and  Sinclair 
both  include  early  rising. 

5.  It  is  a trite  but  just  maxim  that  one  liour’s 
sleep  before  midnight  is  worth  two  afterward. 
Why  it  is  so,  would  perhaps  be  difficult  to  say. 
The  power  of  habit  is  great,  and  as  the  majority 
of  children  are  trained  to  go  to  bed  early,  perhaps 
this  will  in  part  account  for  the  fact.  So  when 
the  usual  hour  for  meal  arrives,  a given  amount  of 
food  eaten  at  the  time,  is  digested  in  a more  healthy 
and  regular  manner  than  if  eaten  one,  or  two,  or 
three  hours  afterwards.  Again,  nature  certainly 


EARLY  RISING. 


53 

Economy  of  early  rising.  Estimates.  Loss  of  health. 

intended  man  should  exercise  during  the  day,  and 
sleep  in  the  night.  I do  not  say  the  ivhole  night ; 
because  in  tl^e  winter  and  in  high  northern  latitudes, 
this  would  be  devoting  an  unreasonable  portion  of 
time  to  sleep.  It  would  hardly  do  to  sleep  three  or 
four  months.  But  in  all  countries,  and  in  all  cli- 
mates, we  should  try  to  sleep  half  our  hours  before 
• midnight. 

6.  The  person  who,  instead  of  going  to  bed  at 
nine,  sits  up  tdl  eleven,  and  then  sleeps  during  two 
hours  of  daylight  the  following  morning,  is  grossly 
negligent  of  economy.  For,  suppose  he  makes  this 
his  constant  practice,  during  his  whole  business  life, 
say  fifty  years.  The  extra  oil  or  tallow  which  he 
would  consume  would  not  be  estimated  at  less 
than  one  cent  an  evening;  which,  in  fifty  years 
would  be  $182.50.  Not  a very  large  sum  to  be 
sure ; but,  to  every  young  man,  worth  saving ; since, 
to  a community  of  1000  young  men,  the  amount 
would  be  no  less  than  $182,500.  Then  the  lossjiii 
health  and  strength  would  be  far  greater,  though  it 
is  obvious  that  it  cannot  so  easily  be  com])uted. 

7.  Once  more.  If  an  hour’s  sleep  before  mid- 
night is  worth  more  than  an  hour  in  the  morning, 
then  an.  hour  in  the  morning  is  of  course  worth 
less  than  an  hour  before  midnight,  and  a person 
must  sleep  a greater  number  of  hours  in  the  morn- 
ing to  obtain  an  equal  amount  of  rest.  A person 
retiring  at  eleven  and  rising  at  eight,  would  pro- 
bably get  no. more  rest,  possibly  less,  than  a per- 


54 


THE  YOUNG  MAN^S  GUIDE. 


More  estimates.  Millions  of  years  wasted  annually. 

son  who  should  sleep  from  nine  to  five  ; — a period 
one  hour  shorter.  But  if  so,  he  actually  loses  an 
hour  of  time  a day.  And  you  well  know,  if 
Franklin  had  not  told  you  so,  that  lime  is  money. 

Now,  if  we  estimate  the  value  of  this  time  at 
ten  cents  an  hour  for  one  person  in  four,  of  the 
population  of  the  United  States  — and  this  is  pro- 
bably a fair  estimate  — the  loss  to  an  individual  in  a 
year,  or  313  working  days,  would  be  $ 31.30  ; and 
in  50  years  $ 1565.  A sum  sufficient  to  buy  a good 
farm  in  many  parts  of  the  country.  The  loss  to  a 
population  equal  to  that  of  the  United  States,  would, 
in  fifty  years,  be  no  less  than  five  thousand  and 
eighty-six  millions  of  dollars ! 

But  this  is  not  the  whole  loss.  The  time  of 
the  young  and  old  is  beyond  all  price  for  the  pur- 
poses of  mental  and  moral  improvement.  Espe- 
cially is  this  true  of  the  precious  golden  hours  of 
the  morning.  Think,  then,  of  the  immense  waste 
in  a year ! At  twelve  hours  a day,  more  than  a 
million  of  years  of  valuable  time  are  wasted  annu- 
ally in  the  United  States. 

I have  hitherto  made  my  estimates  on  the  sup- 
position that  we  do  not  sleep  too  much,  in  the  ag- 
gregate, and  that  the  only  loss  sustained  arises 
from  the  manner  of  procuring  it.  But  suppose, 
once  more,  we  sleep  an  hour  too  much  daily. 
This  involves  a waste  just  twice  as  great  as  that 
which  we  have  already  estimated. 

Do  you  startle  at  these  estimates  I It  is  proper 


EAllLV  RISING. 


55 


Examples  of  early  rising.  Brougham.  Bonaparte. 

that  many  of  you  should.  You  have  mispent 
time  enougli.  Awake  your  ‘drov/sy  souls,’  and 
shake  off  your  stujiid  habits.  Think  of  Napoleon 
breaking  up  the  boundaries  of  kingdoms,  and  de- 
throning kings,  and  to  accomplish  these  results,  go- 
ing through  with  an  amount  of  mental  and  bodily 
labor  that  few  constitutions  would  be  equal  to, 
with  only  four  hours  of  sleep  in  the  twenty  four. 
Think  of  Brougham  too,  who  works  as  many  hours, 
perhaps,  as  any  man  in  England,  and  has  as  much 
influence,  and  yet  sleeps  as  few  ; i.  e.,  only  four. 
A hundred  persons  might  be  named,  and  the  list 
would  include  some  of  the  greatest  benefactors  of 
their  race,  who  never  think  of  sleeping  more  than 
six  hours  a day.  And  yet  many  of  you  are  scarce- 
ly contented  with  eight ! 

Would  you  conquer  as  Bonaparte  did  — not 
states,  provinces,  and  empires,  — but  would  you 
aspire  to  the  high  honor  of  conquering  yourselves, 
and  of  extending  your  conquests  intellectually  and 
morally,  you  must  take  the  necessary  steps.  The 
path  is  a plain  one ; requiring  nothing  but  a little 
moral  courage.  ‘What  man  has  done,  man  may 
do.’  I know  you  do  not  and  ought  not  to  aspire  to 
conquer  kingdoms,  or  to  become  prime  niinisters ; 
but  you  ought  to  aspnre  to  get  the  victory  over  your- 
selves:— a victory  as  much  more  noble  than  those 
of  Napoleon,  and  Ctesar,  and  Alexander,  as  intel- 
lectual and  moral  influence  are  superior  to  mere 
brute  force. 


56 


THE  YOUNG  MAn’s  GUIDE. 


Obedience  tends  to  longevity.  A youthful  error. 


Section  VII.  On  Duty  to  Parents. 

It  was  the  opinion  of  a very  eminent  and  ob- 
serving man,  that  those  who  are  obedient  to  pa- 
rents, are  more  healthy,  long  lived,  and  happy  than 
those  who  are  disobedient.  And  he  reasons  veiy 
fairly  on  the  subject. 

Now  I do  not  know  whether  the  promise  an- 
nexed to  the  fifth  command,  (whatever  might  have 
been  intended,  as  addressed  to  the  Jews,)  has  any 
special  reference  to  happiness  in  this  life.  I only 
know  that  m general,  those  who  are  obedient  to 
parents  are  apt  to  be  virtuous  in  other  respects ; for 
the  virtues  as  well  as  the  vices  usually  go  in  com- 
panies. But  that  virtue  in  general  tends  to  long 
life  and  happiness,  nobody  will  entertain  a doubt. 

I am  sorry,  however,  to  find  that  the  young, 
when  they  approach  adult  years,  are  apt  to  regard 
authority  as  irksome.  It  should  not  be  so.  So 
long  as  they  remain  under  the  parental  roof,  they 
ought  to  feel  it  a pleasure  to  conform  to  the  wishes  of 
the  parents  in  all  the  arraignments  of  the  family,  if 
not  absolutely  unreasonable.  And  even  in  the  latter 
case,  it  is  my  own  opinion — and  one  which  has  not 
been  hastily  formed,  either  — that  it  would  be  better 
to  submit,  with  cheerfulness ; and  for  three  reasons. 

1st.  For  the  sake  of  your  own  reputation  ; which 
will  always  be  endangered  by  disobedience,  how- 
ever unjust  the  parental  claim  may  be. 


DUTY  TO  PARENTS. 


57 


Reasons  for  obedience.  God’s  will.  liOaving  home  hastily. 

2d.  From  a love  of  your  parents,  and  a sense  of 
what  you  owe  them  for  their  kind  care ; togetlier 
with  a conviction  that  perfect  rectitude  is  not  to 
be  expected.  You  will  find  error,  more  or 
less,  eveiy where  around  you  — even  in  your- 
selves ; why  should  you  expect  perfection  in  your 
parents  ? 

3d.  Because  it  is  better  to  suffer  wrong  than  to 
do  wrong.  Perhaps  there  is  nothing  which  so  im- 
proves human  character,  as  suffering  wrongfully; 
although  the  world  may  be  slow  to  admit  the  prin- 
ciple. More  than  this ; God  himself  has  said  a 
great  deal  about  obedience  to  parents. 

If  real  evils  multiply  so  that  a young  man  finds 
lie  cannot  remain  in  his  father’s  house,  without 
suffering  not  only  in  his  feelings,  but  permanently 
in  his  temper  and  disposition,  I will  not  say  that 
it  is  never  best  to  leave  it.  I do  not  believe,  how- 
ever, there  is  often  any  such  necessity.  Of  those 
who  leave  their  paternal  home  on  this  plea,  I be- 
lieve nine  hundred  and  ninety-nine  in  a thou- 
sand might  profitably  remain,  if  they  would  ; and 
that  a very  large  number  would  find  the  fault 
in  themselves  — in  their  own  temper,  disposition  or 
mistaken  views  — rather  than  in  their  parents. 

And  what  is  to  be  gained  by  going  away  ? Un- 
fortunately this  is  a question  too  seldom  asked  by 
restless,  or  headstrong  youths ; and  when  asked  and 
answered,  it  is  usually  found  that  their  unhappy 
experience  proves  the  answer  to  have  been  incor- 


58  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Case  of  Franklin.  Attractive  sight.  A just  maxim. 

reel.  I have  seldom  known  a youth  turn  out  well 
who  left  his  parents  or  his  guardian  or  master. 
On  this  subject,  Franklin,  I know,  is  often  trium- 
phantly referred  to ; but  for  one  such  instance  as 
that,  I hazard  nothing  in  saying  there  are  hun- 
dreds of  a contrary  character.  Within  the  circle 
of  my  own  ob.servation,  young  men  who  leave  in 
this  manner,  have  wished  themselves  back  again  a 
thousand  times. 

But  be  this  as  it  may,  so  long  as  you  remain  in 
the  family,  if  you  are  70  years  of  age,  by  all  means 
yield  to  authority  implicitly,  and  if  possible,  cheer- 
fully. Avoid,  at  least,  altercation  and  reproaches. 
If  things  do  not  go  well,  fix  your  eye  upon  some 
great  example  of  suffering  wrongfully,  and  endea- 
vor to  profit  by  it. 

There  is  no  sight  more  attractive  than  that  of 
a well  ordered  family ; one  in  which  every  child, 
whether  five  years  old  or  fifty,  submits  cheerful- 
ly to  those  rules  and  regulations  which  parental 
authority  has  thought  fit  to  impose.  It  is,  to  use  a 
strong  expression,  an  image  of  heaven.  But,  ex- 
actly in  the  same  proportion,  a family  of  the  con- 
trary character  resembles  the  regions  below. 

Nor  is  this  all.  It  is  an  ancient  maxim,  — and 
however  despised  by  some  of  the  modems,  none 
can  be  more  true, — that  he  only  is  fit  to  com- 
mand who  has  first  learned  to  obey.  Obedience, 
is,  in  fact,  the  great  lesson  of  human  life.  We  first 
Icara  to  yield  our  will  to  the  dictates  of  parental 


FAITHFULNESS. 


59 


Lessons  of  obedience.  Study  them  early.  Faithfulness. 

love  and  wisdom.  Through  them  we  learn  to 
yield  submissively  to  the  great  laws  of  the  Creator, 
as  established  in  the  material  world.  We  learn  to 
avoid,  if  possible,  the  flame,  the  hail,  the  severity  of 
the  cold,  the  lightning,  the  tornado,  and  the  earth- 
quake ; and  we  do  not  choose  to  fall  from  a preci- 
pice, to  have  a heavy  body  fall  on  us,  to  receive 
vitriol  or  arsenic  into  our  stomachs,  (at  least  in 
health)  or  to  remain  a very  long  time,  immersed 
in  water,  or  buried  in  the  earth.  We  submit  also 
to  the  government  under  which  we  live.  All 
these  are  lessons  of  obedience.  But  the  Christian 
goes  farther ; and  it  is  his  purpose  to  obey  not  only 
all  these  laws,  but  any  additional  ones  he  may  find 
imposed,  whether  they  pertam  to  material  or  imma- 
terial existences. 

In  short,  he  who  would  put  himself  in  the  most 
easy  position,  in  the  sphere  allotted  him  by  the 
Author  of  Nature,  must  learn  to  obey, — often  im- 
plicitly and  unconditionally.  At  least  he  must 
know  how  to  obey : and  the  earlier  this  know- 
ledge is  acquned,  and  corresponding  habits  estab- 
lished, the  better  and  happier  will  he  find  his  con- 
dition, and  the  more  quiet  his  conscience. 

Section  VIII.  Faithfulness. 

Hardly  any  thing  pleases  me  more  in  a young  . 
man,  than  faithfulness  to  those  for  whom  he  is 
employed,  whether  parents,  guardians,  masters,  or 
others. 


60  THE  YOUNG  man’s  GUIDE. 

Duty  to  employers.  A common  error.  Wretched  apology^ 

There  appears  to  be  a strange  misapprehension, 
in  the  minds  of  many,  in  regard  to  this  point.  There 
are  few  who  will  not  admit,  in  theory,  whatever 
may  be  their  practice,  that  they  ought  to  be  faithful 
to  their  parents.  And  by  far  the  majority  of  the 
young  doubtless  perceive  the  propriety  of  being 
faithful  to  their  masters ; so  long  at  least,  as  they  are 
present.  I will  even  go  farther  and  admit  that  the 
number  of  young  men  — sons,  wards,  apprentices, 
and  servants  — who  would  willingly  be  so  far  un- 
faithful as  to  do  any  thing  positively  wrong  because 
those  who  are  set  over  them  happen  to  be  absent, 
is  by  no  jneans  considerable. 

But  by  faithfulness  to  our  emploj^ers,  I mean 
something  more  than  the  mere  doing  of  things 
because  we  are  obliged  to  do  them,  or  because  we 
must,  I wish  to  see  young  men  feel  an  interest  in 
the  well  being  and  success  of  their  employers ; and 
take  as  good  care  of  their  concerns  and  property, 
whether  they  are  present  or  absent,  as  if  they  were 
their  own.  The  youth  who  would  be  more  indus- 
trious, persevering,  prudent,  economical,  and  atten- 
tive in  business,  if  the  profits  were  his  own,  than  he 
now  is,  does  not  in  my  opinion  come  up  to  the 
mark  at  which  he  should  aim. 

The  great  apology  for  what  I call  unfaithfulness 
to  employers,  is, ‘What  shall  I get  byit.^’  that  is, 
by  being  faithful.  I have  seen  many  a young  man 
who  would  labor  at  the  employment  regularly 
assigned  him,  during  a certain  number  of  hours,  or 


FAITHFULNESS.  61 

Examples  of  fidelity.  Anecdote.  The  Mahratta  Prince. 

till  a certain  job  was  completed,  after  which  he 
seemed  unwilling  to  lift  a finger,  except  for  his  own 
amusement,  gratification,  or  emolument.  A few 
minutes’  labor  might  repair  a breach  in  a wall  or 
corn  crib,  and  save  the  owner  many  dollars’  worth 
of  property,  but  it  is  passed  by ! By  puttmg  a few 
deranged  parcels  of  goods  in  theft  proper  place,  or 
writing  down  some  small  item  of  account,  which 
would  save  his  employer  much  loss  of  time  or 
money,  or  both,  a faithful  clerk  might  often  do  a great 
service.  Would  he  not  do  it,  if  the  loss  was  to  be 
his  own  ? Why  not  then  do  it  for  his  employer  ? 

Those  who  neglect  things,  or  perform  them  lazily 
or  carelessly,  because  they  imagine  they  shall  get 
nothing  for  it,  would  do  well  to  read  the  following 
story  of  a devoted  and  faithful  domestic  ; which  I 
suppose  to  be  a fact.  It  needs  no  comment. 

A Mahratta  Prince,  in  passing  through  a certain 
apartment,  one  day,  discovered  one  of  his  servants 
asleep  with  his  master’s  slippers  clasped  so  tightly 
to  his  breast,  that  he  was  unable  to  disengage  them. 
Struck  with  the  fact,  and  concluding  at  once,  that 
a person  who  was  so  jealously  careful  of  a trifle, 
could  not  fail  to  be  faithful  when  entrusted  with  a 
thing  of  more  importance,  he  appointed  him  a 
member  of  his  body-guards.  The  result  proved 
that  the  prince  was  not  mistaken.  Rising  in  office, 
step  by  step,  the  young  man  soon  became  the  most 
distinguished  military  commander  in  Mahratta ; and 
liis  fame  ultimately  spread  through  all  India. 

6 


G2  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Intemperance.  Excess  in  eating  and  drinking.  Its  criminality. 


Section  IX.  On  Forming  Temperate  Habits. 

‘ Be  temperate  in  all  things,’  is  an  excellent  rule, 
and  of  very  high  authority. 

Drunkenness  and  Gluttony  are  vices  so  degrading, 
that  advice  is,  I must  confess,  nearly  lost  on  those 
who  are  capable  of  indulging  in  them.  If  any  youth, 
unhappily  initiated  in  these  odious  and  debasing 
vices,  should  happen  to  see  what  I am  now  writing, 
I beg  him  to  read  the  command  of  God,  to  the 
Israelites,  Deut.  xxi.  The  father  and  mother  are  to 
take  the  bad  son  ‘ and  bring  him  to  the  elders  of  the 
city ; and  they  shall  say  to  the  elders,  this  our  son 
will  not  obey  our  voice:  he  is  a glutton  and  a 
drunkard.  And  all  the  men  of  the  city  shall  stone 
him  with  stones,  that  he  die.’  This  will  give  him 
some  idea  of  the  odiousness  of  his  crime,  at  least  in 
the  sight  of  Heaven. 

But  indulgence  far  short  of  gross  drunkenness 
and  gluttony  is  to  be  deprecated  ; and  the  more  so, 
because  it  is  too  often  looked  upon  as  being  no 
crime  at  all.  Nay,  there  are  many  persons,  who 
boast  of  a refined  taste  in  matters  connected  with 
eating  and  drinking,  who  are  so  far  from  being 
ashamed  of  employing  their  thoughts  on  the  sub- 
ject, that  it  is  their  boast  that  they  do  it. 

Gregory,  one  of  the  Christian  fathers,  says:  ‘It 
is  not  the  quantity  or  the  quality  of  the  meat,  or 
di'mk,  but  the  love  of  it,  that  is  condemned:’  that  is 


TEMPEHANCl^. 


63 

Its  expense. 


Excessive  indulgence.  Its  injury  to  health. 

to  say,  the  indulgence  beyond  the  absolute  de- 
mands of  nature ; the  hankering  after  it ; the  neglect 
of  some  duty  or  other  for  the  sake  of  the  enjoyments 
of  the  table.  I believe,  however,  there  may  be 
error,  both  in  quantity  and  quality. 

This  love  of  what  are  called  ‘good  eating  and 
drinking,’  if  very  unamiable  in  grown  persons, 
is  perfectly  hateful  in  a youth;  and,  if  he  indulge 
in  the  propensity,  he  is  already  half  ruined.  To 
warn  you  against  acts  of  fraud,  robbery,  and  vio- 
lence, is  not  here  my  design.  Neither  am  I speak- 
ing against  acts  which  the  jailor  and  the  hangman 
punish,  nor  against  those  moral  offences  which  all 
men  condemn,  but  against  indulgences,  which,  by 
men  in  general,  are  deemed  not  only  harmless,  but 
meritorious ; but  which  observation  has  taught  me 
to  regard  as  destructive  to  human  happiness ; and 
against  which  all  ought  to  be  cautioned,  even  m 
their  boyish  days. 

Such  indulgences  are,  in  the  first  place,  very 
expensive.  The  materials  are  costly,  and  the  pre- 
paration still  more  so.  What  a monstrous  thing, 
that,  in  order  to  satisfy  the  appetite  of  one  person 
there  must  be  one  or  two  others  at  work  constantly,^ 
More  fuel,  culinary  implements,  kitchen  room: 

* I have  occasionally  seen  four  or  five  persons  in  constant 
employ,  solely  to  supply  the  wants  of  a family  of  the  same 
number,  whose  health,  collectively ^ required  an  amount  of 
physical  labor  adequate  to  their  own  wants. 


64 


THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 


An  anecdote.  Reflections.  Water  drinkers. 

what ! all  these  merely  to  tickle  the  palate  of  four 
or  five  people,  and  especially  people  who  can  hardly 
pay  their  bills ! And,  then,  the  loss  of  time  — the 
time  spent  in  pleasing  the  palate ! 

“A  young  man,”  says  an  English  widter,  “some 
years  ago,  offered  himself  to  me,  as  an  amanuensis^ 
for  which  he  appeared  to  be  perfectly  qualified. 
The  terms  were  settled,  and  I requested  him  to  sit 
down,  and  begin ; but  looking  out  of  the  window, 
whence  he  could  see  the  church  clock,  he  said, 
somewhat  hastily,  ‘ I cannot  stop  now  sir,  I must  go 
to  dinner,^  ‘ Oh ! ’ said  I,  ‘ you  must  go  to  dinner, 
must  you ! Let  the  dinner,  which  you  must  wait 
upon  to-day,  have  your  constant  services,  then ; for 
you  and  I shall  never  agi*ee.’ 

“ He  had  told  me  that  he  was  in  great  distress  for 
want  of  employment;  and  yet,  when  relief  was 
there  before  his  eyes,  he  could  forego  it  for  the  sake 
of  getting  at  his  eating  and  drinking  three  or  four 
hours  sooner  than  was  necessary.” 

This  anecdote  is  good,  so  far  as  it  shows  the 
folly  of  an  unwillingness  to  deny  ourselves  in  small 
matters,  in  any  circumstances.  And  yet  punctual- 
ity, even  at  meals,  is  not  to  be  despised. 

Water-drinkers  ai*e  universally  laughed  at:  but,  it 
has  always  seemed  to  me,  that  they  are  amongst  the 
most  welcome  of  guests,  and  that,  too,  though  the 
host  be  by  no  means  of  a niggardly  turn.  The 
truth  is,  they  give  no  trouble  ; they  occasion  no  anx- 
iety to  please  them ; they  are  sure  not  to  make  their 


TEMPERANCE. 


Health,  the  first  thing.  Extract  from  Ec’c/esiasticus. 

sittings  inconveniently  long;  and,  above  all,  their  ex-^ 
ample  teaches  moderation  to  the  rest  of  the  company. 

Your  notorious  Movers  of  good  cheer’  are,  on 
the  contraiy,  not  to  be  invited  without  due  reflection. 
To  entertain  one  of  them  is  a serious  business ; and 
as  people  are  not  apt  voluntarily  to  undertake  such 
pieces  of  business,  the  well-known  ‘ lovers  of  good 
eating  and  drinking’  are  left,  very  generally,  to  en- 
joy it  by  themselves,  and  at  their  own  expense. 

But,  all  other  considerations  aside,  health,  one  of 
the  most  valuable  of  earthly  possessions,  and  without 
which  all  the  rest  are  worth  nothing,  bids  us  not 
only  to  refrain  from  excess  in  eating  and  drinking, 
but  to  stop  short  of  what  might  be  indulged  in  with^ 
out  any  apparent  impropriety. 

The  words  of  Ecclesiasticus  ought  to  be  often 
read  by  young  people.  ‘ Eat  modestly  that  which  is 
set  before  thee,  and  devour  not,  lest  thou  be  hated. 
When  thou  sittest  amongst  many,  reach  not  thine 
hand  out  first  of  all.  How  little  is  sufficient  for  a 
man  well  taught ! A wholesome  sleep  cometh  of  a 
temperate  belly.  Such  a man  riseth  up  in  the  morn- 
ings and  is  ivell  at  ease  loith  himself  Be  not  too 
hasty  of  meats ; for  excess  of  meats  bringeth  sick- 
ness, and  choleric  disease  cometh  of  gluttony.  By 
surfeit  have  many  perished,  and  he  that  dieteth  him- 
self prolongeth  his  life.  Show  not  thy  valiantness 
in  wine ; for  wine  hath  destroyed  many.’ 

How  true  are  these  words!  How  well  worthy 
cf  a constant  place  in  our  memories!  Yet,  what 
6* 


66  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Certain  songs  condemned.  Disregard  of  dainties.  An  exampl^ 

pains  have  been  taken  to  apologize  for  a life  con- 
trary to  these  precepts ! And,  what  punishment  can 
be  too  great,  what  mark  of  infamy  sufficiently 
signal,  for  those  pernicious  villains  of  talent,  who 
have  employed  that  talent  in  the  composition  of 
Bacchanalian  songs;  that  is  to  say,  pieces  of  fine 
and  captivating  writing  in  praise  of  one  of  the  most 
odious  and  destructive  vices  in  the  black  catalogue 
of  human  depravity ! 

‘ Who,’  says  the  eccentric,  but  laborious  Cobbett, 
‘ what  man,  ever  performed  a greater  quantity  of 
labor  than  I have  performed?  Now,  in  a great 
measure,  I owe  my  capability  to  perform  this  labor 
to  my  disregard  of  dainties.  I ate,  during  one 
whole  year,  one  mutton  chop  every  day.  Being 
once  in  town,  with  one  son  (then  a little  boy)  and 
a clerk,  while  my  family  was  in  the  country,  I had, 
for  several  weeks,  nothing  but  legs  of  mutton.  The 
first  day,  a leg  of  mutton  boiled  or  roasted ; second, 
cold ; third,  hashed ; then,  leg  of  mutton  boiled ; and 
so  on. 

‘When  I have  been  by  myself,  or  nearly  so,  I 
have  always  proceeded  thus:  given  directions  for 
having  every  day  the  same  things  or  alternately  as 
above,- and  every  day  exactly  at  the  same  hour,  so 
as  to  pervent  the  necessity  of  any  talk  about  the 
matter.  I am  certain  that,  upon  an  average,  I have 
not,  during  my  life,  spent  more  than  thirty-five  min- 
utes a day  at  table,  including  all  the  meals  of 
the  day.  I like,  and  I take  care  to  have,  good  and 


TEMPERANCE.  67 

Rapid  eating  disapproved  of.  Its  evils.  Intentions  of  nature. 


clean  victuals ; but,  if  wholesome  arid  clean,  that  is 
enough.  If  I find  it,  by  chance,  too  coarse  for  my 
appetite,  I put  the  food  aside,  or  let  somebody  do 
it ; and  leave  the  appetite  to  gather  keenness.’ 

Now  I have  no  special  desire  to  recommend  mut- 
ton chops  to  my  readers,  nor  to  hold  out  the  exam- 
ple of  the  individual  whose  language  I have  quoted, 
as  worthy  of  general  imitation.  There  is  one  les- 
son to  be  learned,  however.  Cobbett’s  never  tiring 
industry  is  well  known.  And  if  we  can  rely  on  his 
own  statements  in  regard  to  his  manner  of  eating, 
we  see  another  proof  that  w^hat  are  called  ‘ dainties,’ 
and  even  many  things  which  are  often  supposed  to 
be  necessaries,  are  very  far  from  being  indispensa- 
ble to  health  or  happiness. 

I am  even  utterly  opposed  to  the  rapid  eating  of 
which  he  speaks.  In  New  England  especially,  the 
danger  is  on  the  other  side.  ‘ Were  it  not  fi’om 
respect  to  others,  I never  would  wish  for  more  than 
eight  minutes  to  eat  my  dinner  in,’  said  a merchant 
to  me  one  day.  Now  I can  swallow  a meal  at  any 
time,  in  Jive  minutes ; but  this  is  not  eating.  If  it 
is,  the  teeth  were  made  — as  well  as  the  saliva  — 
almost  in  vain.  No ! this  swallowing  down  a meal 
in  five  or  even  ten  minutes,  so  common  among  the 
active,  enterprising,  and  industrious  people  of  this 
country,  is  neither  healthy,  nor  decent,  nor  econom- 
ical. And  instead  of  spending  only  thirty-Jive  min- 
utes a day  in  eating ; every  man,  woman,  and  child 


68  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Mistake  corrected.  All  food  must  be  well  masticated. 

ought,  as  a matter  of  duty,  to  spend  about  twice  the 
time  in  that  way.  This  would  give  the  teeth  and 
salivary  glands  an  opportunity  to  come  up  to  the 
work  which  God  in  nature  assigned  them.  We 
may  indeed  cheat  them  for  a time,  but  not  with  im- 
punity, for  a day  of  reckoning  will  come ; and  some 
of  our  rapid  eaters  will  find  their  bill  (in  stomach  or 
liver  complaints,  or  gout  or  rheumatism)  rather 
large.  They  will  probably  lose  more  time  in  this 
way,  than  they  can  possibly  save  by  eating  rapidly. 

The  idea  of  preventing  conversation  about  what 
we  eat  is  also  idle,  though  Dr.  Franklin  and  many 
other  wise  men,  thought  otherwise.  Some  of  our 
students  in  commons  and  elsewhere,  suppose  them- 
selves highly  meritorious  because  they  have  adopt- 
ed the  plan  of  appointing  one  of  their  number  to 
read  to  the  company,  while  the  rest  are  eating. 
But  they  are  sadly  mistaken.  Nothing  is  gained 
by  the  practice.  On  the  contrary,  much  is  lost  by 
it.  The  bow  cannot  always  remain  bent,  without 
injury.  Neither  can  the  mind  always  be  kept 
‘ toned  ’ to  a high  pitch.  Mind  and  body  must  and 
will  have  their  relaxations. 

I am  not  an  advocate  for  wasting  time  or  for  eat- 
ing more  than  is  necessary.  Na}^,  I even  believe, 
on  the  contrary,  with  most  medical  men,  that  we 
generally  eat  about  twice  as  much  as  nature  re- 
quires. But  I do  say,  and  with  emphasis,  that  food 
must  be  masticated, 

Before  I dismiss  the  subject  of  temperance,  let 


TEMPERANCE. 


69 


Tea  and  coffee  injurious.  Other  drinks.  Water  the  best. 

me  beseech  you  to  resolve  to  free  yourselves  from 
slavery  to  tea  and  coffee.  Experience  has  taught 
me,  that  they  are  wjiirious  to  health.  Even  my 
habits  of  sobriety,  moderate  eating,  and  early  rising, 
were  not,  until  I left  off  using  them,  sufficient  to 
give  me  that  complete  health  which  I have  since  had. 

I do  not  undertake  to  prescribe  for  others  exactly ; 
but,  I do  say,  that  to  pour  down  regularly,  every 
day,  a quart  or  two  of  ivarm  liquid^  whether  under 
the  name  of  tea,  coffee,  soup,  grog,  or  anything  else, 
is  greatly  injurious  to  health.  However,  at  present, 
what  I have  to  represent  to  you^  is  the  great  deduc- 
tion which  they  make,  from  your  power  of  being 
useful,  and  also  from  your  power  to  husband  your 
income,  whatever  it  may  be,  and  from  whatever 
source  arising.  These  things  cost  something ; and 
wo  to  him  who  forgets,  or  never  knows,  till  he  pays 
it,  how  large  a bill  they  make  — in  the  course  of 
a year. 

How  much  to  be  desired  is  it,  that  mankind 
would  return  once  more,  to  the  use  of  no  other 
drink  than  that  pure  beverage  which  nature  pre- 
pared for  the  sole  drink  of  man  ! So  long  as  we 
are  in  health,  we  need  no  other ; nay,  we  have  no 
right  to  any  other.  It  is  the  testimony  of  all,  or 
almost  all  whose  testimony  is  worth  having,  that 
water  is  the  best  known  drink.  But  if  water  is 
better  than  all  others,  all  others  are,  of  course,  worse 
than  water. 

As  to  food  and  drink  generally,  let  me  say  in 


70  THE  YOUNG  MAn’s  GUIDE. 

Water  the  only  drink.  Influence  of  habit.  Suppers. 

conclusion,  that  simplicity  is  the  grand  point  to  aim 
at.  Water,  we  have  seen,  is  the  sole  drink  of  man ; 
but  there  is  a great  variety  of  food  provided  for  his 
sustenance.  He  is  allowed  to  select  from  this  im- 
mense variety,  those  kinds,  which  the  experience 
of  mankind  generally,  combined  and  compared  with 
his  own,  show  to  be  most  useful.  He  can  live  on 
almost  any  thing.  Still  there  is  a choice  to  be  ob- 
served, and  so  far  as  his  circumstances  permit,  he 
is  in  duty  bound  to  exercise  that  choice.  God  has 
said  by  his  servant  Paul ; ‘ Whether  ye  eat  or  drink, 
or  whatsoever  ye  do,’  &c. 

What  we  believe  to  be  most  useful  to  us,  though 
at  first  disagreeable,  we  may  soon  learn  to  prefer. 
Our  habits,  then,  should  be  early  formed.  We 
should  always  remeniber  these  two  rules,  however. 
1st.  The  fewer  different  articles  of  food  used  at  any 
one  meal,  the  better;  however  excellent  in  their 
nature  those  may  be  which  are  left  untasted.  2. 
Never  eat  a moment  longer  than  the  food,  if  well 
masticated,  actually  revives  and  refreshes  you.  The 
moment  it  makes  you  feel  heavy  or  dull,  or  palls 
upon  the  taste,  you  have  passed  the  line  of  safety. 

Section  X.  On  Suppers. 

Suppers,  properly  so  called,  are  confined,  in  a 
considerable  degree,  to  cities  ; and  I was  at  first  in 
doubt  whether  I should  do  ns  mucli  good  by  givhig 
?ny  voice  against  them,  as  I should  of  mischief  by 


ON  SUPPERS. 


71 


Late  meals.  Customs  of  our  ancestors.  Of  the  Jews. 

spreading  through  the  country  the  knowledge  of 
a wretched  practice.  But  farther  reflection  lias 
convinced  me  that  I ought  to  offer  my  sentiments 
on  this  subject. 

By  suppers,  I mean  a fourth  meal,  just  before 
going  to  bed.  Individuals  who  have  eaten  quite 
as  many  times  during  the  day  as  nature  requires, 
and  wdio  take  their  tea,  and  perliaps  a little  bread 
and  butter,  at  six,  must  go  at  nine  or  ten,  they  think, 
and  eat  another  hearty  meal.  Some  make  it  the 
most  luxurious  repast  of  the  day. 

Now  many  of  our  plain  country  people  do  not 
know  that  such  a practice  exists.  They  often  eat 
too  much,  it  is  true,  at  iheir  third  meal,  but  their 
active  habits  and  pure  air  enable  them  to  digest  it 
better  than  their  city  brethren  could.  Besides,  their 
third  meal  never  comes  so  late,  by  several  hours, 
as  the  suppers  of  cities  and  towns. 

Our  English  ancestors,  200  years  ago,  on  both 
sides  of  the  Atlantic,  dined  at  eleven,  took  tea  early, 
and  had  no  suppers.  So  it  was  with  the  Jews  of 
old,  one  of  the  healthiest  nations  that  ever  lived  be- 
yond the  Mediterranean.  They  knew  nothing  of 
our  modern  dinners  at  three  or  four,  and  suppers 
at  nine,  ten,  or  eleven. 

But  not  to  ‘take  something  late  at  night  with 
the  rest,’  would  at  present  be  regarded  as  ‘ vulgar,’ 
and  who  could  endure  it?  Here,  I confess,  I 
tremble  for  some  of  my  readers,  whose  lot  it  is 
to  be  cast  in  the  city,  lest  they  should,  in  this 


72  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

The  stomach  needs  its  season  of  repose.  An  anecdote. 


single  instance,  hesitate  to  ‘ take  advice.’  But  I will 
hope  for  better  things. 

If  you  would  give  your  stomach  a season  of  re- 
pose, as  well  as  the  rest  of  your  system ; if  you 
would  sleep  soundly,  and  either  dream  not  at  all, 
or  have  your  dreams  pleasant  ones ; if  you  would 
rise  in  the  morning  with  your  head  clear,  and  free 
from  pain,  and  your  mouth  clean  and  sweet,  in- 
stead of  being  parched,  and  foul ; if  you  would 
unite  your  voice  — in  spirit  at  least  — with  the 
voices  of  praise  to  the  Creator,  which  ascend  every 
where  unless  it  be  from  the  dwellings  of  creatures 
that  should  be  men,  — if,  in  one  word,  you  would 
lengthen  your  lives  several  years,  and  increase  the 
enjoyment  of  the  last  thirty  years  33  per  cent,  with- 
out diminishing  that  of  the  first  forty,  then  I beg  of 
you  to  abstain  from  suppers ! 

I am  acquainted  with  one  individual,  who  partly 
from  a conviction  of  the  injury  to  himself,  and 
partly  from  a general  detestation  of  the  practice, 
not  only  abstains  from  every  thing  of  the  kind, 
but  from  long  obseiwation  of  its  effects,  goes  to  the 
other  extreme,  and  seldom  takes  even  a tkh'd  meal. 
And  I know  of  no  evil  which  arises  from  it.  On 
the  contrary,  I believe  that,  for  him,  no  course 
could  be  better.  Be  that  as  it  may,  adult  indi- 
viduals should  never  eat  more  than  three  times  a 
day,  nor  should  they  ever  partake  of  any  food, 
solid  or  liquid,  within  three  or  four  hours  of  tlie 
period  of  retiring  to  rest 


ON  DRfiSS.  73 

A wretched  practice  censured.  The  purposes  of  dress. 

But  if  eating  ordinary  suppers  is  pernicious, 
what  shall  we  say  of  the  practice  which  some  ii> 
dulge  wdio  aspire  to  be  pillars  in  church  or  state, 
with  othei’s  of  pretensions  less  lofty,  of  going  to  cer- 
tain eating  Piouses,  at  a very  late  hour,  and  spending 
a considerable  portion  of  the  night  — not  in  eat- 
ing, merely,  but  in  quaffing  poisonous  draughts,  and 
spreading  noxious  fumes,  and  uttering  language  and 
songs  which  better  become  the  inmates  of  Pandemo- 
nium, than  those  of  the  counting-house,  the  college, 
or  the  chapel ! If  there  be  within  the  limits  of  any 
of  our  cities  or  towns,  scenes  which  answer  to  thi^ 
horrid  picture,  let  ‘ it  not  be  told  in  Gath,  or  pub- 
lished in  the  streets  of  Askelon,’  lest  the  fiends  of 
the  pit  should  rejoice ; — lest  the  demons  of  dark-® 
jiess  should  triumph. 

Section  XI.  On  Bress, 

The  object  of  dress  is  fourfold:  1st*  It  is  de- 
signed as  a covering ; 2d.  As  a means  of  warmth  5 
3d.  As  a defence  ; 4th.  To  improve  our  appearance. 

These  purposes  of  dress  should  all  be  consider- 
ed ; and  in  the  order  here  presented.  That  dress, 
which  best  answers  all  these  purposes  combined, 
both  as  respects  the  material  and  the  form  or  fash^ 
ion,  is  unquestionably  the  best  and  most  appro- 
priate. It  is  certainly  true  that  the  impressions 
which  a person’s  first  appearance  makes  upon  the 
minds  of  those  around  him  are  deep  and  permanent, 


74  THE  YOUNG  MAn’s  GUIDE. 

Fashion.  Cleanliness.  Mistake  of  vanity  corrected, 

and  the  subject  should  receive  a measure  of  our  at- 
tention, on  this  account.  It  is  only  a slight  tax  which 
we  pay  for  the  benefits  of  living  in  civilized  society. 
When,  however,  we  sacrifice  every  thing  else  to 
appearance,  we  commit  a very  great  error.  We 
make  that  first  in  point  of  importance,  which  ought 
to  be  fourth. 

Let  your  dress  be  as  cheap  as  may  be  without 
shabbiness,  and  endeavor  to  be  neither  first  nor 
last  in  a fashion.  Think  more  about  the  cleanli- 
ness, than  the  gloss  or  texture  of  your  clothes.  Be 
always  as  clean  as  your  occupation  will  permit ; but 
never  for  one  moment  believe  that  any  human 
being,  who  has  good  sense,  will  love  or  respect  you 
merely  on  account  of  a fine  or  costly  coat. 

Extravagance  in  the  haunting  of  play-houses^ 
in  horses,  in  every  thing  else,  is  to  be  avoided,  but 
in  young  men,  extravagance  in  dress  particularly. 
This  sort  of  extravagance,  this  waste  of  money  on 
the  decoration  of  the  body,  arises  solely  fi'om  vanity, 
and  from  vanity  of  the  most  contemptible  sort. 
It  arises  from  the  notion,  that  all  the  people  in  the 
street,  for  instance,  will  be  looking  at  you,  as  soon 
as  you  walk  out ; and  that  they  will,  in  a greater  or 
less  degree,  think  the  better  of  you  on  account  of 
your  fine  dress. 

Never  was  a notion  more  false.  Many  sensible 
people,  that  happen  to  see  you,  will  think  nothing 
at  all  about  you : those  who  are  filled  with  the  same 
rain  notion  as  you  are,  will  perceive  your  attempt 


ON  DRESS*  75 

Gk!n«ral  rule  for  dress.  Females  not  deceived  by  it.  i 


to  impose  on  them,  and  despise  it.  Rich  people 
will  wholly  disregard  yon,  and  you  will  be  envied 
and  hated  by  those  who  have  the  same  vanity  that 
you  have,  without  the  means  of  gratifying  it. 

Dress  should  be  suited,  in  some  measure,  to  our 
condition.  A surgeon  or  physician  need  not  dress 
exactly  like  a carpenter;  but,  there  is  no  reason 
w^hy  any  body  should  dress  in  a very  expensive 
manner.  It  is  a great  mistake  to  suppose,  that  they 
derive  any  advantage  from  exterior  decoration. 

For  after  all,  men  are  estimated  by  other  men 
according  to  their  capacity  and  willingness  to  be  in 
some  way  or  other  useful ; and,  though,  with  the 
foolish  and  vain  part  of  women,  fine  clothes  fre- 
quently do  something,  yet  the  greater  part  of  the 
sex  are  much  too  penetrating  to  draw  their  conclu- 
sions solely  from  the  outside  appearance.  They 
look  deeper,  and  find  other  criterions  whereby  to 
judge.  Even  if  fine  clothes  should  obtain  you  a 
wife,  will  they  bring  you,  in  that  wife,  frugality, 
good  sense,  and  that  kind  of  attachntent  >vhich  is 
likely  to  be  lasting  ? 

Natural  beauty  of  person  is  quite  another  thing : 
this  always  has,  it  always  will  and  must  have,  some 
weight  even  with  men,  and  great  weight  with 
women.  But,  this  does  not  need  to  be  set  off  by 
expensive  clothes.  Female  eyes  are,  in  such  cases, 
discerning ; they  can  discover  beauty  though  sur-» 
rounded  by  rags : and,  take  this  as  a secret  worth 
half  a fortune  to  you,  that  women,  however  vaii; 
they  may  be  themselves,  despise  vanity  in  men. 


76 


THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 


Extremes.  The  golden  mean.  Error  corrected. 


Section  XII.  Bashfulness  and  Modesty. 

Dr.  Young  saj^s,  ‘The  man  that  blushes  is  not 
quite  a brute.’  This  is  undoubtedly  true;  yet 
nothing  is  more  clear,  as  Addison  has  shown  us, 
than  that  a person  may  be  both  bashful  and  impu- 
dent. 

I know  the  world  commend  the  former  quality, 
and  condemn  the  latter;  but  I deem  them  both 
evils.  Perhaps  the  latter  is  the  greater  of  the  two. 
The  proper  medium  is  true  modesty.  This  is 
always  commendable. 

We  are  compelled  to  take  the  world,  in  a great 
measure,  as  it  is.  We  can  hardly  expect  men  to 
come  and  buy  our  wares,  unless  we  advertise  or 
expose  them  for  sale.  So  if  we  would  commend 
ourselves  to  the  notice  of  our  fellow  men,  we  must 
set  ourselves  up,  — not  for  something  which  we 
are  not ; — but  for  what,  upon  a careful  examination, 
we  find  reason  to  think  we  are,  Many  a good  and 
valuable  man  has  gone  through  this  life,  without 
being  properly  estimated;  from  the  vain  belief 
that  true  merit  could  not  always  escape  unnoticed. 
This  belief,  after  all,  is  little  else  but  a species  of 
fatalism. 

By  setting  ourselves  up,  1 do  not  mean  puffing 
and  pretending,  or  putting  on  airs  of  haughtiness 
or  arrogance  ; or  any  affectation  whatever.  But 
thei’e  are  those and  some  of  them  are  persons 


BASHFULNESS  AND  MODESTY.  77 

Injurious  effects  of  bashfulness.  The  happy  mean. 

of  good  sense,  in  many  respects,  who  can  scarcely 
answer  properly,  when  addressed,  or  look  the  per*- 
son  with  whom  they  are  conversing  in  the  face; 
and  who  often  render  themselves  rediculous  for 
fear  they,  shall  he  so,  I have  seen  a man  of  respect- 
able talents,  who,  in  conversation  never  raised  hiss 
eyes  higher  than  the  tassels  of  his  friend’s  boots ; 
and  another  who  could  never  converse  without 
turning  half  or  three  quarters  round,  so  as  to  pre- 
sent his  shoulder  or  the  backside  of  his  head,  instead 
of  a plain,  honest  face. 

I have  known  young  men  injured  by  bash- 
fulness. It  is  vain  to  say  that  it  should  not  be  so. 
The  world  is  not  what  it  should  be,  in  many  re- 
spects ; and  I must  insist  that  it  is  our  duty,  to  take 
it  as  it  is,  in  order  to  make  it  better,  or  even  in  order 
to  live  in  it  with  comfort.  He  that  thinks  he  shall 
not,  most  surely  will  not,  please.  A man  of  sense, 
and  knowledge  of  the  world,  will  assert  his  own 
rights,  and  pursue  his  own  purposes  as  steadily 
and  uninteiTLiptedly  as  the  most  impudent  man 
living;  but  then  there  is  at  the  same  time  an  air  of 
modesty  in  all  he  does;  while  an  overbearing  or 
impudent  manner  of  doing  the  same  thmgs,  would 
undoubtedly  have  given  offence.  Hence  a certain 
wise  man  has  said;  ‘He  who  knows  the  world  will 
not  be  too  bashful ; and  he  who  knows  himself  will 
never  be  impudent.’ 

Perpetual  embarrassment  in  company  or  in  con-> 
versation,  is  sometimes  even  construed  into  meaa^ 

7# 


78  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Awkwardness.  Eccentricities.  Little  things.  Good-breeding. 


ness.  Avoid,  — if  you  can  do  it,  without  too  great 
a sacrifice  — every  appearance  of  deserving  a charge 
so  weighty. 

Section  XIII.  Politeness  and  Good- Breeding, 

Awkwardness  is  scarcely  more  tolerable  than 
bashfulness.  It  must  proceed  from  one  of  two 
things ; either  from  not  having  kept  good  company, 
or  from  not  having  derived  any  benefit  from  it. 
Many  very  worthy  people  have  certain  odd  tricks, 
and  ill  habits,  that  excite  a prejudice  against  them, 
which  it  is  not  easy  to  overcome.  Hence  the  im- 
portance of  good-hr  ceding. 

Now  there  are  not  a few  who  despise  all  these 
little  things  of  life,  as  they  call  them  ; and  yet  much 
of  their  lives  is  taken  up  v/ith  them,  small  as  they 
are.  And  since  these  self  same  little  things  cannot 
be  dispensed  with,  is  it  not  better  that  they  should 
be  done  in  the  easiest,  and  at  the  sjime  time  the 
pleasantest  manner  possible  ? 

There  is  no  habit  more  difficult  to  attain,  and  few 
so  necessary  to  possess,  as  perfect  good-breeding. 
It  is  equally  inconsistent  with  a stiff  formality,  an 
impertinent  forwardness,  and  an  awkward  bashful- 
ness. True  Christian  education  would  seem  to 
include  it;  and  yet  unfortunately,  Christians  aro 
not  always  polite. 

Is  it  not  surprising  that  we  may  sometimes  ob- 
serve, in  mere  men  of  the  world,  that  kind  of  car^ 


GOOD-BREEDING.^  79 

Christian  politeness.  Calling  things  by  wrong  names.  Pedantry. 


riage  which  should  naturally  be  expected  from  an 
individual  thoroughly  imbued  with  the  spirit  of 
Christianity,  while  his  very  neighbors,  who  are  pro- 
fessing Christians,  appear,  by  their  conduct,  to  be 
destitute  of  such  a spirit  ? Which,  then,  in  practice 
(I  mean  so  far  as  this  fact  is  concerned)  are  the  best 
Christians  ? But  I know  what  will  be  the  answer ; 
and  I know  that  these  things  ought  not  so  to  be. 

No  good  reason  can  be  given  why  a Christian 
should  not  be  as  well-bred  as  his  neighbor.  It  is 
difficult  to  conceive  how  a person  can  follow  the 
rules  given  in  the  Sermon  on  the  Mount,  without 
being,  and  showing  himself  to  be,  well-bred.  I 
have  even  known  men  who  were  no  friends  to  the 
bible,  to  declare  it  as  their  unequivocal  belief  that 
he  whose  life  should  conform  to  the  principles  of 
that  sermon,  could  not  avoid  being  truly  'polite. 

There  are  not  a few  who  confound  good-breeding 
with  affectation,  just  as  they  confound  a reasonable 
attention  to  dress  with  foppery.  This  calling  things 
by  wrong  names  is  very  common,  how  much  soever 
it  may  be  lamented. 

Good-hreeding,  or  true  politeness,  is  the  art  of 
showing  men,  by  external  signs,  the  internal  regard 
we  have  for  them.  It  arises  from  good  sense,  im- 
proved by  good  company.  Good-breeding  is  never 
to  be  learned,  though  it  may  be  hnproved,  by  the 
study  of  books ; and  therefore  they  who  attempt  it, 
appear  stiff  and  pedantic.  The  really  well-bred,  as 
they  become  so  !)y  use  and  observation,  are  not 


80 


THE  VOUNG  man’s  GUIDE. 


Kind  feelings.  Good  breeding  opposed  to  selfishness. 

liable  to  affectation.  You  see  good-breeding  in  all 
they  do,  without  seeing  the  art  of  it.  Like  other 
habits,  it  is  acquired  by  practice. 

An  engaging  manner  and  genteel  address  may  be 
out  of  our  power,  although  it  is  a misfortune  that  it 
should  be  so.  But  it  is  in  the  power  of  every  body 
to  be  kind,  condescending,  and  affable.  It  is  in  the 
power  of  every  person  who  has  any  thing  to  sav  to 
a fellow  being,  to  say  it  with  kind  feelings,  and  with 
a sincere  desire  to  please ; and  this,  whenever  it  is 
done,  will  atone  for  much  awkwardness  in  the  man- 
ner of  expression.  Forced  complaisance  is  foppery  J 
and  affected  easiness  is  ridiculous. 

Good-breeding  is,  and  ought  to  be,  an  amiable 
and  persuasive  thing ; it  beautifies  the  actions  and 
even  the  looks  of  men.  But  the  grimace  of  good- 
breeding is  not  less  odious 

In  short,  good-breeding  is  a forgetting  of  ourselves 
so  far  as  to  sehk  what  may  be  agreeable  to  others, 
but  in  so  artless  and  delicate  a manner  as  will  scarce- 
ly allow  them  to  perceive  that  we  are  so  employed ; 
and  the  regarding  of  ourselves,  not  as  the  centre  of 
motion  on  which  every  thing  else  is  to  revolve,  but 
only  as  one  of  the  wheels  or  parts,  in  a vast  machine, 
embracing  other  wheels  and  parts  of  equal,  and  per- 
haps more  than  equal  importance.  It  is  hence  utter- 
ly opposed  to  selfishness,  vanity,  or  pride.  Nor  is  it 
proportioned  to  the  supposed  riches  and  rank  of 
him  whose  favor  and  patronage  you  would  gladly 
cultivate  j but  extends  to  all.  It  knows  how  to  con- 


GOOD-BREEDING. 


81 


Ten  rules  for  governing  our  conversation. 

tradict  with  respect;  and  to  please,  without  adu- 
lation. 

The  following  are  a few  plain  directions  for  at- 
taining the  character  of  a well-bred  man. 

1.  Never  weary  your  company  by  talking  too 
long,  or  too  frequently. 

2.  Always  look  people  in  the  face  when  you 
address  them,  and  generally  wlien  they  are  speak- 
ing to  you. 

3.  Attend  to  a person  who  is  addressing  you. 
Inattention  marks  a trifling  mind,  and  is  a most  un- 
pai'donable  piece  of  rudeness.  It  is  even  an  affront ; 
for  it  is  the  same  thing  as  saying  that  his  remarks 
are  not  tvorth  your  attention. 

4.  Do  not  interrupt  the  person  who  is  speaking 
by  saymg  yes,  or  no,  or  hem,  at  every  sentence ; it 
is  the  most  useless  thing  that  can  be.  An  occa- 
sional assent,  either  by  word  or  action,  may  be  well 
enough ; but  even  a nod  of  assent  is  sometimes 
repeated  till  it  becomes  disgusting. 

5.  Remember  that  every  person  in  a company 
likes  to  be  the  hei'o  of  that  company.  Never,  there- 
fore, engross  the  whole  conversation  to  yourself. 

6.  Learn  to  sit  or  stand  still,  while  another  is 
speaking  to  you.  You  will  not  of  course  be  so 
rude  as  to  dig  in  the  earth  with  your  feet,  or  take 
your  penknife  from  your  pocket  and  pair  your  nails ; 
but  there  are  a great  many  other  little  movements 
which  are  scarcely  less  clownish. 

7.  Never  anticipate  for  another,  or  help  him  out^ 


THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Forming  good  habits.  Planning  the  business  of  the  day. 


as  it  is  called.  This  is  quite  a rude  affair,  and 
should  ever  be  avoided.  Let  him  conclude  his 
story  for  himself.  It  is  time  enough  for  you  to 
make  corrections  or  additions  afterward,  if  you 
deem  his  account  defective.  It  is  also  a piece  of 
impoliteness  to  interrupt  another  in  his  remarks. 

8.  Say  as  little  of  yourself  and  your  friends  as 
possible. 

9.  Make  it  a rule  never  to  accuse,  without  due 
consideration,  any  body  or  association  of  men. 

10.  Never  try  to  appear  more  wise  or  learned 
than  the  rest  of  the  company.  Not  that  you  should 
affect  ignorance;  but  endeavor  to  remain  within 
your  own  proper  sphere. 

Section  XIV.  Personal  Habits, 

I have  elsewhere  spoken  of  the  importance  of 
early  rising.  Let  me  merely  request  you,  in  this 
place,  to  form  a habit  of  this  kind,  from  which  no 
ordinary  circumstances  shall  suffer  you  to  depart. 
Your  first  object  after  rising  and  devotion,  should 
be  to  take  a survey  of  the  business  which  lies 
before  you  during  the  day,  making  of  course  a 
suitable  allowance  for  exigencies.  I have  seldom 
known  a man  in  business  thrive  — and  men  of 
business  we  aU  ought  to  be,  whatever  may  be  our 
occupation  — who  did  not  rise  early  in  the  morn- 
ing, and  plan  his  work  for  the  day.  Some  of  those 
who  have  been  most  successful,  made  it  a point  to 


PERSONAL  HABITS.  83 

Gowns  and  slippers.  The  Divine  rule.  Looking  glasses. 


have  this  done  before  daylight.  Indeed,  I was 
intimately  acquainted  with  one  man  who  laid  out 
the  business  of  the  day,  attended  family  worship, 
and  breakfasted  before  sunrise  5 and  this  too,  at  all 
seasons  of  the  year 

Morning  gowns  and  slippers  are  very  useful 
things,  it  is  said.  But  the  reasons  given  for  their 
utility  are  equally  in  favor  of  always  wearing  them. 
‘They  are  loose  and  comfortable.’  Very  well: 
Should  not  our  dress  always  be  loose?  ‘They 
save  other  clothes.^  Then  why  not  wear  them  all 
day  long  ? The  truth,  after  all,  is,  that  they  are 
fashionable^  and  as  we  usually  give  the  true  reason 
for  a thing  last,  this  is  probably  the  principal  rea- 
son why  they  are  so  much  in  use.  I am  pretty 
well  convinced,  however,  that  they  are  of  little  real 
use  to  him  who  is  determined  to  eat  his  bread  ‘ in 
the  sweat  of  his  face,’  according  to  the  Divine  ap- 
pointment. 

Looking-glasses  are  useful  in  their  place,  but 
like  many  other  conveniences  of  life,  by  no  means 
indispensable ; and  so  much  abused,  that  a man  of 
sense  would  almost  be  tempted,  for  the  sake  of 
example,  to  lay  them  aside.  Of  all  wasted  time, 
none  is  more  foolishly  wasted  than  that  which  is 
employed  in  unnecessary  looking  at  one’s  own 
pretty  face. 

This  may  seem  a matter  of  small  consequence ; 
but  nothing  can  be  of  small  importance  to  which 
we  are  obliged  to  attend  every  day.  If  we  dressed 


84  THE  Young  man’s  guide. 

Sir  John  Sinclair.  Shaving.  Usual  parade  about  it. 

or  shaved  but  once  a year,  or  once  a month,  the 
case  would  be  altered ; but  this  is  a piece  of  work 
that  must  be  done  once  every  day  ; and,  as  it  may 
cost  only  about  Jive  minutes  of  time,  and  may  be, 
and  frequently  is,  made  to  cost  thirty,  or  even  fjly 
minutes;  and,  as  only  fifteen  minutes  make  about 
a fiftieth  part  of  the  hours  of  our  average  day- 
light ; this  being  the  case,  it  is  a matter  of  real  im- 
portance. 

Sir  John  Sinclair  asked  a friend  whether  he 
meant  to  have  a son  of  his  (then  a little  boy) 
taught  Latin?  ‘No,’  said  he,  ‘but  I mean  to  do 
something  a great  deal  better  for  him.’  ‘ What  is 
that?’  said  Sir  John.  ‘Why,’  said  the  other,  ‘1 
mean  to  teach  him  to  shave  with  cold  water,  and 
without  a glass."* 

My  readers  may  smile,  but  I can  assure  them 
that  Sir  John  is  not  alone.  There  are  many  others 
who  have  adopted  this  practice,  and  found  it  highly 
beneficial.  One  individual,  who  had  tried  it  for 
years,  has  the  following  spirited  remarks  on  the 
subject. 

‘ Only  think  of  the  inconvenience  attending  the 
common  practice ! There  must  be  hot  ivater ; to 
have  this  there  must  be  a fire,  and,  in  some  cases, 
a fire  for  that  purpose  alone ; to  have  these,  there 
must  be  a servant,  or  you  must  light  a fire  your- 
self. For  the  want  of  these,  the  job  is  put  off 
untii  a later  hour : this  causes  a stripping  and  anoth- 
er dressing  bout : or,  you  go  in  a slovenly  state  all 


FEtlSOXAL  HABltg* 


Evils  of  ttlorning  delays.  Dress  at  once,  fof  the  day. 

that  day,  and  the  next  day  the  thing  must  be  done^ 
or  cleanliness  must  be  abandoned  altogether.  If* 
you  are  on  a journey,  you  must  wait  the  pleasure 
of  the  servants  at  the  inn  before  you  can  dress  and 
Bet  out  in  the  morning ; the  pleasant  time  for  trav^ 
elling  is  gone  before  you  can  move  from  the 
spot:  instead  of  being  at  the  end  of  your  day’B 
journey  in  good  tiinOj  you  are  benighted,  and  have 
to  endure  all  the  great  inconveniences  attendant 
on  tardy  movements.  And  all  this  from  the  ap^ 
parently  insignificant  affair  of  shaving.  How  many 
a piece  of  important  business  has  failed  from  a 
short  delay ! And  how  many  thousand  of  such  de^ 
lays  daily  proceed  from  this  unworthy  cause ! ’ 

These  remarks  are  especially  important  to  those 
persons  in  boarding-houses  and  elsewhere,  for 
whom  hot  water,  if  they  use  it,  must  be  expressly 
prepared. 

Let  me  urge  you  never  to  Say  I cannot  go,  or  do 
such  a thing,  till  I am  shaved  or  dressed.  Take 
care  always  to  be  shaved  and  dressed^  and  then  you 
will  alv/ays  be  ready  to  act.  But  to  this  end  the 
habit  must  be  formed  in  early  life,  and  pertina-^ 
ciously  adhered  to. 

There  are  those  who  can  truly  say  that  to  the 
habit  of  adhering  to  the  principles  which  have 
been  laid  down,  they  owe  much  of  their  success 
in  life ; that  however  sober,  discreet,  and  abstinent 
they  might  have  been,  they  never  could  have  ac^ 
complished  much  without  it.  We  should  suppose 


86 


THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 


Experience  of  an  officer  in  the  army.  An  anecdote. 

by  reasoning  beforehand,  that  the  army  could  not 
be  very  favorable  to  steady  habits  of  this  or  any 
other  kind;  yet  the  following  is  the  testimony  of 
one  who  had  made  the  trial. 

‘ To  the  habit  of  early  rising  and  husbanding  my 
time  well,  more  than  to  any  other  thing,  I owed 
my  very  extraordinary  promotion  in  the  army.  I 
was  always  ready.  If  I had  to  mount  guard  at  few, 
I was  ready  at  nine:  never  did  any  man,  or  any 
thing,  wait  one  moment  for  me.  Being,  at  an  age 
under  twenty  years,  raised  fi'om  corporal  to  sergeant 
major  at  once,  over  the  heads  of  thirty  sergeants,  I 
should  naturally  have  been  an  object  of  emT-  and 
hatred ; but  this  habit  of  early  rising  really  subdued 
these  passions. 

‘Before  my  promotion,  a clerk  was  wanted  to 
make  out  the  morning  report  of  the  regiment.  I 
rendered  the  clerk  unnecessary;  and,  long  before 
any  other  man  was  dressed  for  the  parade,  my 
work  for  the  morning  was  all  done,  and  I myself 
was  on  the  parade  ground,  walking,  in  fine  weather, 
for  an  hour  perhaps. 

‘ My  custom  was  this : to  get  up,  in  summer,  at 
day-light,  and  in  winter  at  four  o’clock;  shave, 
dress,  even  to  the  putting  of  my  sword-belt  over 
my  shoulder,  and  having  my  sword  lying  on  the 
table  before  me,  ready  to  hang  by  my  side.  Then 
I ate  a bit  of  cheese,  or  pork,  and  bread.  Then  I 
prepared  my  report,  which  was  filled  up  as  fast  as 
the  companies  brought  me  in  the  materials.  After 


PERSONAL  HABITS. 


87 


Story  concluded.  Reflections.  Shaving  with  cold  w^ater. 

this,  I had  an  hour  or  two  to  read,  before  the  time 
came  for  any  duty  out  of  doors,  unless  when  the 
regiment,  or  part  of  it,  went  out  to  exercise  in  the 
morning.  When  this  was  the  case,  and  the  matter 
was  left  to  me,  I always  had  it  on  the  ground  in 
such  time  as  that  the  bayonets  glistened  in  the 
rising  sun ; a sight  which  gave  me  delight,  of  which 
I often  think,  but  which  I should  in  vain  endeavor 
to  describe. 

‘ If  the  officers  were  to  go  out,  eight  or  ten  o’clock 
was  the  hour.  Sweating  men  in  the  heat  of  the 
day,  or  breaking  in  upon  the  time  for  cooking  their 
dinner,  puts  all  things  out  of  order,  and  all  men 
out  of  humor.  When  I was  commander,  the  men 
had  a long  day  of  leisure  before  them : they  could 
ramble  into  the  town  or  into  the  woods ; go  to  get 
raspberries,  to  catch  birds,  to  catch  fish,  or  to  pur- 
sue any  other  recreation,  and  such  of  them  as 
chose,  and  were  qualified,  to  work  at  their  trades. 
So  that  here,  arising  solely  from  the  early  habits 
of  one  very  young  man,  were  pleasant  and  happy 
days  given  to  hundreds.’ 

For  my  own  part,  I confess  that  only  a few  years 
since,  I should  have  laughed  heartily  at  some  of 
these  views,  especially  the  cold  water  system  of 
shaving.  But  a friend  whom  I esteemed,  and  who 
shaved  with  cold  water,  said  so  much  in  its  favor 
that  I ventured  to  make  the  trial ; and  I can  truly 
say  that  I would  not  return  to  my  former  slavery 
to  hot  water,  if  I had  a servant  who  had  nothing 


88  th£  young  man’s  guide. 

Effects  of  warm  water.  Extreme  attention  to  cleanliness. 

else  to  do  but  furnish  it.  I cannot  indeed  say  with 
a recent  writer  (I  think  in  the  Journal  of  Health) 
that  cold  water  is  a great  deal  better  than  warm ; 
but  I can  and  do  say  that  it  makes  little  if  any 
difference  with  me  which  I use ; though  on  going 
out  into  the  cold  air  immediately  afterward,  the 
skin  is  more  likely  to  chap  after  the  use  of  warm 
water  than  cold.  Besides  I think  the  use  of  warm 
water  more  likely  to  produce  eruptions  on  the  skin. 
— Sometimes,  though  not  generally,  I shave,  like 
Sir  John  Sinclair,  without  a glass;  but  I would 
never  be  enslaved  to  one,  convenient  as  it  is. 

Section  XV.  Bathing  and  Cleanliness. 

Cleanliness  of  the  body  has,  some  how  or  other, 
such  a connection  with  mental  and  moral  purity, 
(whether  as  cause  or  effect  — or  both  — I will  not 
undertake  now  to  determine)  that  I am  unwilling 
to  omit  the  present  opportunity  of  urging  its  impor- 
tance. There  are  those  who  are  so  attentive  to  this 
subject  as  to  wash  their  whole  bodies  in  water, 
either  cold  or  warm,  every  day  of  the  year ; and  never 
to  wear  the  same  clothes,  during  the  day,  that  they 
have  slept  in  the  previous  night.  Now  this  habit 
may  by  some  be  called  whimsical ; but  I think  it 
deserves  a better  name.  I consider  this  extreme,  if  it 
ought  to  be  called  an  extreme,  as  vastly  more  safe 
than  the  common  extreme  of  neglect. 

Is  it  not  shameful  — would  it  not  be,  were  human 


ON  LITTLE  THINGS,  89 

Soap  and  water  plentiful  and  cheap.  Cold  bathing.  Little  things. 


duty  properly  understood — to  pass  months,  and 
even  years,  vs^ithout  washign  the  whole  body  once  ? 
There  are  thousands  and  tens  of  thousands  of  both 
sexes,  who  are  exceedingly  nice,  even  to  fastidious- 
ness, about  externals;  — who,  like  those  mentioned 
in  the  gospel,  keep  clean  the  ‘outside  of  the  cup 
and  the  platter,’ — but  alas ! how  is  it  within  Not 
a few  of  us,  — living,  as  we  do,  in  a land  where 
soap  and  water  are  abundant  and  cheap  — would 
blush,  if  the  whole  stoiy  were  told. 

This  chapter,  if  extended  so  far  as  to  embrace  the 
whole  subject  of  cleanliness  of  person,  dress,  and 
apartments,  and  cold  and  warm  bathing,  would 
alone  fill  a volume;  a volume  too,  which,  if  well 
prepared,  would  be  of  great  value,  especially  to  all 
young  men.  But  my  present  limits  do  not  permit 
of  any  thing  farther.  In  regard  to  cold  hathing, 
however,  allow  me  to  refer  you  to  two  articles  in 
the  third  volume  of  the  Annals  of  Education,  pages 
315  and  344,  which  contain  the  best  directions  I can 
give  on  this  subject. 

Section  XVI.  On  Little  Things. 

There  are  many  things  which,  viewed  without 
any  reference  to  prevailing  habits,  manners,  and 
customs,  appear  utterly  unworthy  of  attention; 
and  yet,  after  all,  much  of  our  happiness  will  be 
found  to  depend  upon  them.  We  are  to  remember 
that  we  live— -not  alone,  on  the  earth  — but  among 


90  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Ceremonies  of  life  not  wholly  useless.  A great  mistake. 

a multitude^  each  of  whom  claims,  and  is  entitled 
to  his  own  estimate  of  things.  Now  it  often  hap- 
pens that  what  we  deem  a little  thing,  another,  who 
views  the  subject  differently,  will  regard  as  a matter 
of  importance. 

Among  the  items  to  which  I refer,  are  many  of 
the  customary  salutations  and  civilities  of  life ; and 
the  modes  of  dress.  Now  it  is  perfectly  obvious  that 
many  common  phrases  which  are  used  at  meeting 
and  separating,  during  the  ordinary  interviews  and 
concerns  of  life,  as  well  as  in  correspondence,  are 
in  themselves  wholly  unmeaning.  But  viewed  as 
an  introduction  to  things  of  more  importance,  these 
little  words  and  phrases  at  the  opening  of  a conver- 
sation, and  as  the  language  of  hourly  and  daily 
salutation,  are  certainly  useful.  They  are  indica- 
tions of  good  and  friendly  feeling ; and  without 
them  we  should  not,  and  could  not,  secure  the  con- 
fidence of  some  of  those  among  whom  we  are 
obliged  to  live.  They  would  regard  us  as  not  only 
unsocial,  but  selfish  ; and  not  only  selfish,  but  proud 
or  misanthropic. 

On  ac(ipuiit  of  meeting  with  much  that  disgusts 
us,  many  are  tempted  to  avoid  society  generally. 
The  frivolous  conversation,  and  still  more  frivolous 
conduct,  which  they  meet  with,  they  regard  as  a 
waste  of  time,  and  perhaps  even  deem  it  a duty  to 
resign  themselves  to  solitude.  This,  however,  is  a 
great  mistake.  Those  who  have  been  most  useful 
to  mankind  acted  very  differently.  They  mingled 


ON  LITTLE  THINGS. 


91 

Example  of  Christ.  Zimmerman’s  views.  Externals. 

with  the  world,  in  hopes  to  do  somethmg  towards 
reforming  it.  The  greatest  of  philosophers,  as  well 
as  of  Christians;  — even  the  Founder  of  Christi- 
anity himself — sat  down,  and  not  only  sat  down, 
but  ate  and  drank  in  the  society  of  those  with  whose 
manners,  and  especially  whose  vices,  he  could  have 
had  no  possible  sympathy. 

Zimmerman,  who  has  generally  been  regarded 
as  an  apostle  of  solitude,  taught  that  men  ought 
not  to  ‘reside  in  deserts,  or  sleep,  like  owls,  in  the 
hollow  trunks  of  trees.’  ‘I  sincerely  exhort  my 
disciples,’  says  he,  ‘not  to  absent  themselves  mo- 
rosely from  public  places,  nor  to  avoid  the  social 
throng ; which  cannot  fail  to  afford  to  judicious, 
rational,  and  feeling  minds,  many  subjects  both  of 
amusement  and  insti’uction.  It  is  true,  that  we 
cannot  relish  the  pleasures  and  taste  the  advantages 
of  society,  without  being  able  to  give  a patient 
hearing  to  the  tongue  of  folly,  to  excuse  error,  and 
to  bear  with  infirmity.’ 

In  like  manner,  we  are  not  to  disregard  wholly, 
our  dress.  It  is  true  that  the  shape  of  a hat,  or 
the  cut  of  a coat  may  not  add  to  the  strength  of 
the  mind,  or  the  soundness  of  the  morals  ; but  it  is 
also  true  that  people  form  an  opinion  of  us  from 
our  exterior  appearance;  and  will  continue  to  do 
so:  and  fii’st  impressions  are  very  difficult  to  be 
overcome.  If  we  regard  our  own  usefulness,  there- 
fore, we  shall  not  consider  the  fashion  or  character 
of  our  dress  as  a little  thing  in  its  results.  I have 


92 


THE  YOUNG  MAn’s  GUIDE. 


A paradox.  Guard  well  the  lips.  Beginning  of  wo. 

said  elsewhere  that  we  ought  neither  to  be  the  first 
nor  the  last  in  a fashion. 

We  should  remember,  also,  that  the  worlds  in 
its  various  parts  and  aspects,  is  made  up  of  little 
things.  So  true  is  this,  that  I have  sometimes  been 
very  fond  of  the  paradoxical  remark,  that  ‘little 
things  are  great  things ; ’ that  is,  in  their  results. 
For  who  does  not  know  that  throughout  the  physi- 
cal world,  the  mightiest  results  are  brought  about 
by  the  silent  working  of  small  causes?  It  is  not 
the  tornado,  or  the  deluge,  or  even  the  occasional 
storm  of  rain,  that  renews  and  animates  nature, 
so  much  as  the  gentle  breeze,  the  soft  refreshing 
shower,  and  the  still  softer  and  gentler  dews  of 
heaven. 

So  in  human  life,  generally,  they  are  the  little 
things  often,  that  produce  the  mightier  results.  It  is 
he  who  takes  care  of  pence  and  farthings,  not  he  who 
neglects  them,  that  thrives.  It  is  he  alone  who 
guards  his  lips  against  the  first  improper  word, — 
trifling  as  it  may  seem — that  is  secure  against  future 
profanity.  He  who  indulges  one  little  draught  of 
alcoholic  drink,  is  in  danger  of  ending  a tippler; 
he  who  gives  loose  to  one  impure  thought,  of  end- 
ing the  victim  of  lust  and  sensuality.  Nor  is  it 
one  single  gross,  or  as  it  were  accidental  act,  view- 
ed as  insulated  from  the  rest  — however  injurious 
it  may  be  — that  injures  the  body,  or  debases  the 
mind,  so  much  as  the  frequent  repetition  of  those 
pjnaller  errors,  w hose  habitual  occurrence  goes  to 


OF  ANGER. 


93 


A pernicious  error.  The  first  steps  to  anger. 

establish  the  predominating  choice  of  tlie  mind,  or 
affection  of  the  soul. 

Avoid  then,  the  pernicious,  the  fatal  error,  that 
little  things  are  of  no  consequence : little  sums  of 
money,  little  fragments  of  time,  little  or  trifling 
words,  little  or  apparently  unimportant  actions.  On 
this  subject  I cannot  help  adopting — and  feeling  its 
force  too,  — the  language  of  a friend  of  temperance 
in  regard  to  those  who  think  themselves  perfectly 
secure  from  danger,  and  are  believers  in  the  harm- 
lessness of  little  things.  ‘I  tremble,’  said  he,  ‘for 
the  man  that  does  not  tremble  for  himself.  ’ 

Section  XVII.  Of  Jl7iger,  and  the  means  of  re- 
straining it. 

There  is  doubtless  much  difference  of  native  tem- 
perament. One  person  is  easily  excited,  another, 
more  slowly.  But  there  is  a greater  difference  still, 
resulting  from  our  habits. 

If  we  And  ourselves  easily  led  into  anger,  we 
should  be  extremely  careful  how  we  indulge  the 
fli’st  steps  that  lead  towards  it.  Those  who  natural- 
ly possess  a mild  temper  may,  with  considerable 
safety,  do  and  say  many  things  which  others  can- 
not. Thus  we  often  say  of  a person  who  has  met 
with  a misfortune,  ‘It  is  good  enough  for  him;’ 
or  of  a criminal  who  has  just  been  condemned  to 
suffer  punishment,  ‘ No  matter ; he  deserves  it.’ 
Or  perhaps  we  go  farther,  and  on  finding  him  ac- 


THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 


Nature  of  anger.  Cruelty  to  animals.  Mild  tones  of  voice. 

quitted,  say,  ‘ He  ought  to  have  been  hanged,  and 
even  hanging  was  too  good  for  him.’ 

Now  all  these  things,  in  the  mouths  of  the  irri- 
table, lead  the  way  to  an  indulgence  of  anger,  how'- 
ever  unperceived  may  be  the  transition.  It  is  on 
this  principle  that  the  saying  of  St.  John  is  so 
strikingly  true;  ‘He  that  hateth  his  brother  is  a 
murderer;’  that  is,  he  that  indulges  hatred  has  the 
seeds  within  liim,  not  only  of  out-breaking  anger, 
but  of  murder. 

It  is  on  this  account  that  I regret  the  common 
course  taken  with  children  in  relation  to  certain 
smaller  tribes  of  the  animal  creation.  They  are 
allowed  not  only  to  destroy  them,  — (which  is 
doubtless  often  a duty,)  but  to  destroy  them  in 
anger;  to  indulge  a permanent  hatred  towards 
them ; and  to  think  this  hatred  creditable  and  scrip- 
tural. When  such  feelings  lead  us  to  destroy  even 
the  most  troublesome  or  disgusting  reptiles  or 
insects,  in  anger ^ we  have  so  far  prepared  the  way 
for  the  indulgence  of  anger  towards  our  fellow 
creatures,  whenever  their  conduct  shall  excite  our 
displeasure. 

We  can  hence  see  why  he  who  has  a violent 
temper  should  always  speak  in  a low  voice,  and 
study  mildness  and  sweetness  in  his  tones.  For 
loud,  impassioned,  and  boisterous  tones  certainly 
excite  impassioned  feelings.  So  do  all  the  actions 
which  indicate  anger.  Thus  Dr.  Darwin  has  said 
that  any  individual,  by  using  the  language  and 


OF  ANGER. 


95 

Quaker  anecdote. 


We  may  work  ourselves  into  a rage. 

tions  of  an  angry  person,  towards  an  imaginary 
object  of  displeasure,  and  accompanying  them  by 
threats,  and  blows,  with  a doubled  or  clinched  fist, 
may  easily  work  himself  into  a rage.  Of  the  justice 
of  this  opinion  I am  fully  convinced,  from  actual 
and  repeated  experiments. 

If  we  find  ourselves  apt  to  be  angry,  we  should 
endeavor  to  avoid  the  road  which  leads  to  it.  The 
first  thing  to  be  done,  is  to  govern  our  voice.  On 
this  point,  the  story  of  the  Quaker  and  the  merchant 
may  not  be  uninstructive. 

A merchant  in  London  had  a dispute  with  a 
Quaker  gentleman  about  the  settlement  of  an  ac- 
count. The  merchant  was  determined  to  bring 
the  action  into  courts  — a course  of  proceeding  to 
which  the  Quaker  was  wholly  opposed;-— he 
therefore  used  every  argument  in  his  power  to  con- 
vince the  merchant  of  his  error ; but  all  to  no  pur- 
pose. 

Desh'ous  of  making  a final  effort,  however,  the 
Quaker  called  at  the  house  of  the  merchant,  one 
morning,  and  inquired  of  the  servant  if  his  master 
was  at  home.  The  merchant  hearing  the  mquiry 
from  the  top  of  the  stairs,  and  knowing  the  voice, 
called  out,  loudly,  ‘Tell  that  rascal  I am  not  at 
home.’  The  Quaker,  looking  up  towards  him, 
said  calmly;  ‘Well,  friend,  may  God  put  thee  in  a 
better  mind.’ 

The  merchant  was  struck  with  the  meekness  of 
the  reply,  and  after  thinking  more  deliberately  of 


96  the  young  man’s  guide* 

Rules  for  overcoming  a bad  temper.  Story  cf  Zimmermani 

the  matter,  became  convinced  that  the  Quaker  was 
right,  and  he  in  the  wrong.  He  requested  to  see 
him,  and  after  acknowledging  his  error,  said,  ‘I 
have  one  question  to  ask  you.  How  were  you  able 
to  bear  my  abuse  with  so  much  patience  ? ’ 

^Friend,’  replied  the  Quaker,  ‘I  will  tell  thee* 
I was  naturally  as  hot  and  violent  as  thou  art.  But 
I knew  that  to  indulge  my  temper  was  sinful,  and 
also  very  foolish.  I observed  that  men  in  a pas* 
sion  always  spoke  very  loud ; and  I thought  if  1 
could  control  my  voice,  I should  keep  down  my 
passions.  I therefore  made  it  a rule  never  to  let  it 
rise  above  a certain  key ; and  by  a careful  observ- 
ance  of  this  rule,  I have,  with  the  blessing  of  God, 
entirely  mastered  my  natural  temper.’ 

When  you  are  tempted  by  the  conduct  of  those 
around  you,  to  be  angry,  endeavor  to  consider  the 
matter  for  a few  moments*  If  yoUr  temper  be  so 
impetuous  that  you  find  this  highly  difficult,  you 
may  adopt  some  plan  or  device  for  gaining  time* 
Some  recommend  counting  twenty  or  thirty,  de* 
liberately.  The  following  anecdote  of  the  cele- 
brated Zimmerman  is  exactly  in  point,  and  may 
afford  useful  hints  for  instruction. 

Owing  in  part  to  a diseased  state  of  body,  Zim- 
merman was  sometimes  irritable.  One  day,  a 
Russian  princess  and  several  other  ladies  entered 
his  apartment  to  inquire  after  his  health ; when,  in 
a fit  of  petulance,  he  rose,  and  requested  them  to 
leave  the  room.  The  prince  entered  some  time 


The  Lord’s  prayer. 


OP  ANGER.  Pf 

Reasons  for  being  slow  to  anger. 


after wai’d,  when  Zimmerman  had  begun  to  repent 
of  his  rashness,  and  after  some  mtervening  conver- 
sation, advised  him,  whenever  he  felt  a disposition 
to  treat  his  friends  so  uncivilly  again,  to  repeat, 
mentally^  the  Lord’s  prayer.  This  advice  was  fol- 
lowed, and  with  success.  Not  long  afterward  the 
same  prmce  came  to  him  for  advice  in  regard  to 
the  best  maimer  of  controlling  the  violence  of  those 
transports  of  affection  towards  his  young  and  amia- 
ble consort,  m which  young  and  happy  lovers  are 
so  apt  to  indulge.  ‘ My  dear  friend,’  said  Zimmer^ 
man,  ‘ there  is  no  expedient  which  can  surpass  your 
own.  Whenever  you  feel  yourself  overborne  by 
passion,  you  have  only  to  repeat  the  Lord’s  prayer, 
and  you  will  be  able  to  reduce  it  to  a steady  and 
permanent  flame.’ 

By  adopting  Zimmerman’s  rule,  We  shall,  as  1 
have  already  obseiwed,  gain  time  for  reflection, 
than  which  nothing  more  is  needed.  For  if  the 
cause  of  anger  be  a report,  for  example,  of  injury 
done  to  us  by  an  absent  person,  either  in  words  or 
deeds,  how  do  we  know  the  report  is  true.^  Or  it 
may  be  only  partly  true;  and  how  do  we  know, 
till  we  consider  the  matter  well,  whether  it  is  worth 
our  anger  at  all  ? Or  if  at  all,  perhaps  it  deserves’ 
but  a little  of  it.  It  may  be,  too,  that  the  person 
who  said  or  did  the  thing  reported,  did  it  by  mis- 
take, or  is  already  sony  for  it.  At  all  events, 
nothmg  can  be  gained  by  haste ; much  may  be  by 


98 


THE  TOtJNG  man’s  GUIDE. 


Anger  a disease.  Avoid  railing,  — and  revenge. 

If  a passionate  person  give  you  ill  language,  you 
ought  rather  to  pity  than  be  angiy  with  him,  for 
anger  is  a species  of  disease.  And  to  correct  one 
evil,  will  you  make  another?  If  his  being  angry 
is  an  evil,  will  it  mend  the  matter  to  make  another 
evil,  by  indulging  in  passion  yourself?  Will  it 
cure  his  disease,  to  throw  yourself  into  the  same 
distemper?  But  if  not,  then  how  foolish  is  it  to 
indulge  improper  feelings  at  all ! 

On  the  same  principles,  and  for  the  same  rea- 
sons, you  should  avoid  returning  railing  for  rail- 
ing ; or  reviling  for  reproach.  It  only  kindles  the 
more  heat.  Besides,  you  will  often  find  silence,  or 
at  least  very  gentle  words,  as  in  the  case  of  the 
Quaker  just  mentioned,  the  best  return  for  re- 
proaches which  could  be  devised.  I say  the  best 
‘return;’  but  I would  not  be  understood  as  justi- 
fying any  species  of  revenge.  The  kind  of  return 
hqre  spoken  of  is  precisely  that  treatment  which 
W’ill  be  most  likely  to  cure  the  distemper  in  the 
other,  by  making  him  see,  and  be  sorry  for,  Ids 
passion. 

If  the  views  taken  in  this  section  be  true,  it  is 
easy  to  see  the  consummate  folly  of  all  violence, 
whether  between  individuals  or  collective  bodies, 
whether  it  be  by  striking,  duelling,  or  war.  For  if 
an  individual  or  a nation  has  done  wrong,  will  it 
annihilate  that  wrong  to  counteract  it  by  another 
wrong  ? Is  it  not  obvious  that  it  only  makes  two 
evils,  where  but  one  existed  before?  And  can 


OF  ANGER. 


99 


Unreasonableness  of  resisting  evil.  The  Scripture  rule. 

two  wrongs  ever  make  one  right  action  ? WJiich 
is  the  most  rational,  when  the  choice  is  in  our 
power,  to  add  to  one  existing  evil,  another  of  similar 
or  greater  magnitude ; or  to  keep  quiet,  and  let  the 
world  have  but  one  cup  of  misery  instead  of  two  ? 

Besides,  the  language  of  Scripture  is  every  where 
full  and  decided  on  this  point.  ‘ Recompense  to  na 
man  evil  for  evil,’  and  ‘ wo  to  him  by  whom  the 
offence  cometh,’  though  found  but  once  or  twice 
in  just  so  many  words,  are  in  fact,  some  of  the  more 
prominent  doctrines  of  the  New  Testament ; and  I 
very  much  doubt  whether  you  can  read  many 
pages,  in  succession,  m any  part  of  the  bible,  with- 
out finding  this  great  principle  enforced.  The  daily 
example  of  the  Saviour,  and  the  apostles  and  early 
Christians,  is  a full  confirmation  of  it,  in  practice. 


CHAPTER  11. 


©n  tje  i^anasement  of  3Sus!nes». 


Section  I,  On  commencing  Business. 

Young  men  are  usually  in  haste  to  commence 
business  for  themselves.  This  is  an  evil,  and  one 
which  appears  to  me  to  be  increasing.  Let  me 
caution  my  readers  to  be  on  their  guard  against  it. 

The  evils  of  running  in  debt  will  be  adverted  to 
elsewhere.  I mention  the  subject  in  this  place, 
because  the  earlier  you  commence  business,  the 
greater  the  necessity  of  resorting  to  credit.  You 
may,  indeed,  in  some  employments,  begin  on  a very 
small  scale  ; but  this  is  attended  with  serious  disad- 
vantages, especially  at  the  present  day,  when  you 
must  meet  with  so  much  competition.  Perhaps  a 
few  may  be  furnished  with  capital  by  their  friends, 
or  by  inheritance.  In  the  latter  case  they  may  as 
well  use  their  money,  if  they  receive  it ; but  I have 
already  endeavored  to  show  that  it  is  generally  for 
the  interest  of  young  men  to  rely  upon  theii*  own 
exertions.  It  is  extremely  difficult  for  a person 
who  has  ever  relied  on  others,  to  act  with  the  same 
energy  as  those  who  have  been  thrown  upon  their 


COMMENCING  BUSINESS.  103 

Inheriting  property,  an  evil.  Sel'f-dependence.  Examples. 


own  resources.*  To  learn  the  art  of  inheriting 
property  or  receiving  large  gifts,  and  of  actmg 
with  the  same  energy  as  if  left  wholly  to  our  own 
resources,  must  be  reserved,  I believe,  for  future 
and  wiser  generations  of  our  race. 

I repeat  it,  therefore,  every  person  had  better  de- 
fer going  into  business  for  himself,  until  he  can 
stand  entirely  on  his  own  footing.  Is  it  asked  how 
he  can  have  funds  from  his  own  resources,  before 
he  has  actually  commenced  business  for  himself? 
Why  the  thing  is  perfectly  easy.  He  has  only  to 
labor  a few  years  in  the  service  of  another.  True  it 
is,  he  may  receive  but  moderate  wages  during  this 
time ; but  on  the  other  hand,  he  will  be  subjected 
to  little  or  no  risk. 

Let  1000  young  men,  at  the  age  of  30  years,  enter 
into  business  with  a given  amount  of  capital,  all 
acquired  by  then*  own  hard  earnings,  and  let  them 
pursue  their  busmess  30  years  faithfully;  that  is, 
till  they  are  60  years  of  age.  Let  1000  others  com- 
mence at  the  age  of  20,  with  three  times  the  amount 
of  capital  possessed  by  the  former,  but  at  the  same 
time  either  inherited,  or  loaned  by  their  friends, 
and  let  them  pursue  their  calling  till  they  are  60 
years  of  age ; or  for  a period  of  40  years.  We  will 

* This  fact,  so  obvious  to  every  student  of  human  nature, 
has  sometimes  given  rise  to  an  opinion  that  orphans  make 
their  way  lest  in  the  world.  So  far  as  the  business  of  ma 
king  money  is  concerned,  I am  not  sure  but  it  is  so* 

9* 


102  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Testimony  of  facts.  In  the  U.  States  generally.  In  Boston 

suppose  the  natural  talents,  capacity  for  doing  busi- 
ness, and  expenditures  — in  fact  every  thing,  — the 
same,  in  both  cases.  Now  it  requires  no  gift  of 
prophecy  to  foretell,  with  certainty,  that  at  60  years 
of  age  a far  greater  proportion  of  the  1000,  who 
began  at  30  and  depended  solely  on  their  own  ex- 
ertions, will  be  men  of  wealth,  than  of  those  who 
began  at  20  with  three  times  their  capital.  The 
reason  of  these  results  is  found  in  the  very  nature 
of  things,  as  I have  shown  both  above,  and  in  my 
remarks  on  industry. 

But  these  views  are  borne  out  by  facts.  Go  into 
any  city  in  the  United  States,  and  learn  the  history 
of  the  men  who  are  engaged  in  active  and  profita- 
ble business,  and  are  thriving  in  the  world,  and  my 
word  for  it,  you  will  find  the  far  greater  part  began 
life  with  nothing,  and  have  had  no  resources  what? 
ever  but  their  own  head  and  hands.  And  in  no 
city  is  this  fact  more  strikingly  verified  than  in 
Boston.  On  the  other  hand,  if  you  make  a list  of 
those  who  fail  in  business  from  year  to  year,  and 
learn  their  history,  you  will  find  that  a very  large 
proportion  of  them  relied  on  mheritances,  credit, 
or  some  kind  of  foreign  aid  in  early  life  ; — and  not 
a few  begun  very  young. 

There  is  no  doctrine  in  this  volume,  which  will 
be  more  unpopular  with  its  reade3*s,  than  this.  Not 
a few  will,  I fear,  utterly  disbelieve  it.  They  look 
at  the  exterior  appearance  of  some  young  friend,  a 
JittJe  older  than  themselves,  who  has  been  lifted 


COMMENCING  BUSINESS  103 

Dangers  of  shipwreck.  Caution  against  the  hawk-eyed. 

into  business  and  gone  on  a year  or  two,  and  all 
appears  fair  and  encouraging.  They  long  to  imi- 
tate him.  Point  them  to  a do^en  others  who  have 
gone  only  a little  farther,  and  have  made  shipwreck, 
and  it  weighs  nothing  or  next  to  nothing  with  them. 
They  suspect  mismanagement,  (which  doubtless 
sometimes  exists)  and  think  they  shall  act  more 
wisely^ 

In  almost  every  considerable  shop  in  this  country 
may  be  found  young  men  who  have  nearly  served 
out  their  time  as  apprentices,  or  perhaps  have  gone 
a little  farther,  even,  and  worked  a year  or  two  as 
journeymen.  They  have  been  industrious  and  fru- 
gal, and  have  saved  a few  hundred  dollars.  This, 
on  the  known  principles  of  human  nature,  has  create 
ed  a strong  desire  to  make  additions ; and  the  desire 
has  increased  in  a greater  ratio  than  the  sum. 
They  are  good  workmen,  perhaps,  or  if  not,  they 
generally  think  so;  and  those  who  have  the  least 
merit,  generally  have  the  most  confidence  in  them- 
selves. But  if  there  be  one  who  has  merit,  there 
is  usually  in  the  neighborhood  some  hawk-eyed 
money  dealer,  who  knows  that  he  cannot  better 
invest  his  funds  than  in  the  hands  of  active  young 
men.  This  man  will  search  him  out,  and  offer  to 
set  him  up  in  business ; and  his  friends,  pleased  to 
have  him  noticed,  give  security  for  payment.  Thus 
flattered,  he  commonly  begins ; and  after  long  pa^ 
tience  and  perseverance,  he  may,  by  chance,  sue-, 
ceed.  But  a much  greater  number  are  unsuccess^ 


104  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

How  many  young  men  reason.  Fallacy  of  such  reasoning. 

ful,  and  a few  drown  their  cares  and  perplexities 
in  the  poisoned  bowl,  or  in  debauchery ; — perhaps 
both  — thus  destroying  their  minds  and  souls ; or, 
it  may  be,  abruptly  putting  an  end  to  tlieir  own 
existence. 

Young  men  are  apt  to  reason  thus  with  them- 
selves. ‘ I am  now  arrived  at  an  age  when  others 
have  commenced  business  and  succeeded.  It  is 
true  I may  not  succeed ; but  I know  of  no  reason 
why  my  prospects  are  not  as  good  as  those  of  A,  B, 
and  C,  to  say  the  least.  I am  certainly  as  good  a 
workman,  and  know  as  well  how  to  manage,  and 
attend  to  my  own  concerns,  without  intermeddling 
with  those  of  others.  It  is  true  my  friends  advise 
me  to  work  as  a journeyman  a few  years  longer; 
but  it  is  a hard  way  of  living.  Besides,  what  shall 
I learn  all  this  while,  that  I do  not  already  know  ? 
TJiey  say  I shall  be  improving  in  the  'practical  part 
of  my  business,  if  not  in  the  theory  of  it.  But  sliall 
I not  improve  while  I work  for  myself.^  Suppose 
I make  blunders.  Have  not  othem  done  the  same  ? 
If  I fall,  I must  get  up  again.  Perhaps  it  wdll  teach 
me  not  to  stumble  again.  The  fact  is,  old  people 
never  think  the  young  know  or  can  do  any  thing 
till  they  are  forty  years  old.  I am  determined  to 
make  an  effort.  A good  opportunity  offers,  and 
such  a one  may  never  again  occur.  I am  confident 
I shall  succeed.’ 

How  often  have  I heard  this  train  of  reasoning 
pursued!  But  if  it  were  correct,  how  happens  it 


COMMENCING  BUSINESS. 


105 


Mistaken  notions  of  the  young  Students  in  medicine. 

that  those  facts  exist  which  have  just  been  mention^ 
ed  ? More  than  this ; why  do  almost  all  men  assert 
gi'atuitously  after  they  have  spent  twenty  years  in 
their  avocation,  that  although  they  thought  them^ 
selves  wise  when  they  began  their  profession,  they 
were  exceedingly  ignorant  ? Who  ever  met  with  a 
man  that  did  not  feel  this  ignorance  more  sensibly 
after  twenty  years  of  experience,  than  when  he  first 
commenced  ? 

This  self  fiatteiy  and  self  confidence  — this  am^ 
bition  to  be  men  of  business  and  begin  to  figure  in 
the  world,  — is  not  confined  to  any  particular  oc- 
cupation or  profession  of  men,  but  is  found  in  all. 
Nor  is  it  confined  to  those  whose  object  in  life  is 
pecuniary  emolument.  It  is  perhaps  equally  com- 
mon among  those  who  seek  their  happiness  in 
ameliorating  the  condition  of  mankind  by  legislating 
for  them,  settling  their  quarrels,  soothing  their  pas- 
sions, or  curing  the  maladies  of  their  souls  and 
bodies. 

Perhaps  the  evil  is  not  more  glaring  in  any  class 
of  the  community  than  in  the  medical  profession^ 
There  is  a strong  temptation  to  this,  in  the  facility 
with  which  licenses  and  diplomas  may  be  obtain- 
ed. Any  young  man  who  has  common  sense,  if 
he  can  read  and  write  tolerably,  may  in  some  of 
the  States,  become  a knight  of  the  lancet  in  three 
years,  and  follow  another  employment  a consider*- 
able  part  of  the  time  besides.  He  has  only  to  de» 
vote  some  of  his  extra  hours  to  the  study  of 


106  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Medical  quackery.  Students  in  theology.  Their  loss  of  healtF. 


atomy,  surgery,  and  medicine,  recite  occasionally 
to  a practitioner,  as  ignorant,  almost,  as  himself; 
hear  one  series  of  medical  lectures;  and  procure 
certificates  that  he  has  studied  medicine  ‘three 
years,’  including  the  time  of  the  lectures ; and  he 
will  be  licensed,  almost  of  course.  Then  he  sallies 
forth  to  commit  depredations  on  society  at  discre- 
tion ; and  how  many  he  kills  is  unknown.  ‘ I take 
it  for  granted,  however,’  said  a President  of  a Col- 
lege, three  years  ago,  who  understood  this  matter 
pretty  well,  ‘ that  every  half-educated  young  physi- 
cian, who  succeeds  at  last  in  getting  a reputable 
share  of  practice,  must  have  rid  the  world,  rather 
prematurely,  of  some  dozen  or  twenty  individuals^ 
at  the  least,  in  order  to  qualify  himself  for  the  pro- 
fession.’ 

The  evil  is  scarcely  more  tolerable,  as  regards 
young  ministers,  except  that  the  community  in  ge- 
neral have  better  means  of  knowing  when  they  are 
imposed  upon  by  ignorance  or  quackery  in  this  mat- 
ter, than  in  most  other  professions.  The  principal 
book  for  a student  of  theology  is  in  the  hands  of 
every  individual,  and  he  is  taught  to  read  and  under 
stand  it.  The  great  evil  which  arises  to  students 
of  divinity  themselves  from  entering  their  profes- 
sion too  early,  is  the  loss  of  health.  Neither  the 
minds  nor  the  bodies  of  young  men  are  equal  to 
the  responsibilities  of  this,  or  indeed  of  any  other 
profession  or  occupation,  at  20,  and  rarely  at  25 
Nothing  is  more  evident  than  that  young  men. 


COMMENCING  BUSINESS. 


107 


New  views.  Examples.  The  Savior.  John  Baptist.  Timothy. 

generally,  are  losers  in  the  end,  both  in  a peciiinary 
point  of  view  and  in  regard  to  health,  by  commenc- 
ing business  before  30  years  of  age.  But  this  1 
have  already  attempted  to  show. 

As  regards  candidates  for  the  ministry,  several 
eminent  divines  are  beginning  to  inculcate  the  opin- 
ion, with  great  earnestness,  that  to  enter  fully  upon 
the  active  duties  of  this  laborious  vocation  before 
the  age  I have  mentioned,  is  injurious  to  them- 
selves and  to  the  cause  they  wish  to  promote  — the 
cause  of  God.  And  I hope  their  voices  will  be 
raised  loudb*  and  louder  on  this  topic,  till  the  note 
of  remonstrance  reaches  the  most  distant  villages 
of  our  country. 

It  has  often  occurred  to  me  that  every  modest 
young  man,  whatever  may  be  his  destination,  might 
learn  wisdom  from  consulting  the  history  of  the 
Young  Man  of  Nazareth  as  well  as  of  the  illus- 
trious refonner  who  prepared  the  way  for  him.  ^ 
Our  young  men,  since  newspapers  have  become  so 
common,  are  apt  to  think  themselves  thoroughly 
versed  in  law,  politics,  divinity,  &c. ; and  are  not 
backward  to  exhibit  their  talents.  But  who  is  abler 
at  disputation  than  he  who  at  twelve  years  of  age 
proved  a match  for  the  learned  doctors  of  law  at 
Jerusalem?  Did  he,  whose  mind  was  so  mature  at 
twelve,  enter  upon  the  duties  of  his  ministry  (a  task 

*^Even  Timothy  — young  Timothy  as  he  has  been  often 
called  — was  probably  in  his  30th  year  when  he  was  or- 
dained. 


108  tHE  TOUNG  man’s 

The  great  question.  Seven  years’  apprenticeship.  Integrity. 

more  arduous  than  has  ever  fallen  to  the  lot  of  any 
human  bemg)  at  18  or  20  years  of  age  7 But  why 
not,  when  he  had  so  much  to  do  ? — Or  did  he  wait 
till  he  was  in  his  30th  year  ? 

The  great  question  with  every  young  man  should 
not  be,  When  can  I get  such  assistance  as  will  en-^ 
able  me  to  commence  business;  — but.  Am  I well 
qualified  to  commence  ^ Perfect  in  his  profession, 
absolutely  so,  no  man  ever  will  be ; but  a measure 
of  perfection  which  is  rarely  if  ever  attained  under 
80  years  of  age,  is  most  certainly  demanded.  To 
learn  the  simplest  handicraft  employment  m some 
countries,  a person  must  serve  an  apprenticeship  of 
at  least  seven  years.  Here,  in  America,  half  that 
time  is  thought  by  many  young  men  an  intolerable 
burden,  and  they  long  to  throw  it  off.  They  wish 
for  what  they  call  a better  order  of  things.  The  con- 
sequences of  this  feeling,  and  a growing  spirit  of 
insubordination,  are  every  year  becoming  more  and 
more  deplorable. 


Section  II.  Mportance  of  Integiity^^ 

Every  one  will  admit  the  importance  of  integrity 
in  all  his  dealings,  for  however  dishonest  he  may 
be  himself,  he  cannot  avoid  perceiving  the  neces- 
sity of  integrity  in  others.  No  society  could  exist 
were  it  not  for  the  measure  of  this  virtue  which 
remains.  Without  a degree  of  confidence^  in  trans-' 
acting  business  with  each  other,  even  the  savage  life' 
ih- 


01?’  INtEGRlTt.  109 

Few  practise  integrity.  First  steps  to  fraud.  Honesty  defined* 


would  be  a thousand  times  more  savage  than  it  now 
is.  Without  it,  a gang  of  thieves  or  robbers  could 
not  long  hold  together. 

But  while  all  admit  the  sterling  importance  of 
strict  integrity,  how  few  practise  it ! Let  me  pre-^ 
vail  when  I entreat  the  young  not  to  hazard  either 
their  reputation  or  peace  of  mind  for  the  uncertain 
advantages  to  be  derived  from  unfair  dealing.  It  is 
madness,  especially  in  one  who  is  just  beginning 
the  world.  It  would  be  so,  if  by  a single  unfair  act 
he  could  get  a fortune ; leaving  the  loss  of  the  soul 
out  of  the  question.  For  if  a trader,  for  example, 
is  once  generally  known  to  be  guilty  of  fraud,  or 
even  of  taking  exorbitant  profits,  there  is  an  end  to 
his  reputation.  Bad  as  the  world  is,  there  is  some 
respect  paid  to  integrity,  and  wo  be  to  him  who 
forgets  it. 

If  a person  habitually  allows  himself  in  a single 
act  not  sanctioned  by  the  great  and  golden  rule  of 
loving  others  as  we  do  ourselves,  he  has  entered  a 
road  whose  everlasting  progress  is  downward. 
Fraudulent  in  one  point,  he  will  soon  be  so  in 
another  — and  another ; and  so  on  to  the  end  of 
the  chapter,  if  there  be  any  end  to  it.  At  least  no 
one  who  has  gone  a step  in  the  downward  road, 
can  assure  himself  that  this  will  not  be  the  dreadful 
result. 

An  honest  bargain  is  that  only  in  which  the  fair 
market  price  or  value  of  a commodity  is  mutually 
allowed,  so  far  as  this  is  known.  The  market  prieO 
10 


110  THE  tOUNG  MAn’^  GUIDE. 

Market  prices.  Many  sorts  of  fraud.  Concealment. 

is  usually,  the  equitable  price  of  a thing.  It  will  be 
the  object  of  every  honest  man  to  render,  in  all 
cases,  an  equivalent  for  what  he  receives.  Where 
the  market  price  cannot  be  known,  each  of  the 
parties  to  an  honest  contract  will  endeavor  to  come 
as  near  it  as  possible ; keeping  in  mind  the  rule  of 
doing  to  others  as  they  would  desire  others  to  do  to 
them  in  similar  ckcumstarices.  Every  bargain  not 
formed  on  these  principles  is,  in  its  results,  unjust ; 
and  if  intentional,  is  fraudulent. 

There  are  a great  many  varieties  of  this  species 
of  fraud. 

1.  Concealing  the  market  price.  How  many  do 
this ; and  thus  buy  for  less,  and  sell  for  more  than 
a fair  valuation ! Why  so  many  practise  this  kind 
of  fraud,  and  insist  at  the  same  time  that  it  is  no 
fi*aud  at  all,  is  absolutely  inconceivable,  except  on 
the  supposition  that  they  are  blinded  by  avarice. 
For  they  perfectly  know  that  their  customers  would 
not  deal  with  them  at  any  other  than  market  prices, 
except  from  sheer  ignorance ; and  that  the  advan- 
tage which  they  gain,  is  gained  by  misapprehension 
of  the  real  value  of  the  commodities.  But  can  an 
honest  man  take  this  advantage?  Would  he  take 
it  of  a child  ? Or  if  he  did,  would  not  persons  of 
common  sense  despise  him  for  it  ? 

But  why  not  as  well  take  advantage  of  a child  as 
of  a man  ? Because,  it  may  be  answered,  the  child 
does  not  know  the  worth  of  what  he  buys  or  sells ; 
but  the  man  does,  or  might.  But  in  the  case  spe- 


OF  INTEGRITY.  Ill 

Misrepresentation.  Sellinpr  goods  which  are  unsound  or  defective^ 


cified,  it  is  evident  he  does  not  know  it,  if  he  did 
he  would  not  make  the  bargain.  And  for  proof 
that  such  conduct  is  downright  fraud,  the  person 
who  commits  it,  has  only  to  ask  himself  whether 
he  would  be  willing  others  should  take  a similar 
advantage  of  his  ignorance.  ‘I  do  as  I agree,’  is 
often  the  best  excuse  such  men  can  make,  when 
reasoned  with  on  the  injustice  of  their  conduct, 
without  deciding  the  question,  whether  then  agree- 
ment is  founded  on  a desne  to  do  right. 

2.  Others  misrepresent  the  market  price.  This 
is  done  in  various  ways.  They  heard  somebody 
say  the  price  in  market  was  so  or  so ; or  such  a one 
bought  at  such  or  such  a price,  or  another  sold  at 
such  a price:  all  of  which  prices,  purchases,  and 
sales  are  known  positively  to  be  different  from  those 
which  generally  prevail.  Many  contrive  to  satisfy 
their  consciences  m this  way,  who  would  by  no 
means  venture  at  once  upon  plain  and  palpable 
lying. 

3.  The  selling  of  goods  or  property  which  is 
unsound  and  defective^  under  direct  professions  that 
it  is  sound  and  good,  is  another  variety  of  this 
species  of  fraud.  It  is  sometimes  done  by  direct 
lying,  and  sometimes  by  indefinite  and  hypocritical 
insinuations.  Agents,  and  retailers  often  assert 
their  wares  to  be  good,  because  those  of  whom 
they  have  received  them  declare  them  to  be  such. 
These  declarations  are  often  believed,  because  the 
seller  appears  or  professes  to  believe  them ; while 
in  truth,  he  may  not  give  them  the  least  credit. 


THE  YOUNG  MAN’S  GUIDE. 

SeJling  quack  medicines.  Jockeys,  Their  apology. 

One  of  the  grossest  impositions  of  this  kind  — 
common  as  it  is  — is  practised  upon  the  public  in 
advertising  and  selling  nostrums  as  safe  and  val- 
uable medicines.  These  are  ushered  into  news- 
papers with  a long  train  of  pompous  declarations, 
almost  always  false,  and  always  delusive.  The 
silly  purchaser  buys  and  uses  the  medicine  chiefly 
or  solely  because  it  is  sold  by  a respectable  man, 
under  the  sanction  of  advertisements  to  which  that 
respectable  man  lends  his  countenance.  Were 
good  men  to  decline  this  wretched  employment, 
the  medicines  would  probably  soon  fall  into  abso- 
lute discredit ; and  health  and  limbs  and  life  would, 
in  many  instances,  be  preserved  from  unnecessary 
destruction. 

4.  Another  species  of  fi*aud  consists  in  conceal-^ 
ing  the  defects  of  what  we  sell.  This  is  the  gen- 
eral art  and  villany  of  that  class  of  men,  commonly 
called  Joc/ce?/5;  a class  which,  in  reality,  embraces 
some  who  would  startle  at  the  thought  of  being 
such ; — and  whole  multitudes  who  would  receive 
the  appellation  with  disdain. 

The  common  subterfuge  of  the  jockey  is,  that 
he  gives  no  false  accounts ; that  the  purchaser  has 
eyes  of  his  own,  and  must  judge  of  the  goods 
for  himself.  No  defence  can  be  more  lame  and 
wretched ; and  hardly  any  more  impudent. 

No  purchaser  can  possibly  discover  many  of  the 
defects  in  commodities ; he  is  therefore  obliged  to 
depend  on  the  seller  for  information  concerning 


OF  INTEGRITY. 


113 

A timely  caution. 


A lame  excuse.  ‘ Beating  down.’ 

them.  All  this  the  seller  well  knows,  and  if  an 
honest  man,  will  give  the  information.  Now  as 
no  purchaser  would  buy  the  articles,  if  he  knew 
their  defects,  except  at  a reduced  price,  whenever 
the  seller  does  not  give  this  information,  and  the 
purchaser  is  taken  in,  it  is  by  downright  villany, 
whatever  some  may  pretend  to  the  contrary.  Nor 
^vill  the  common  plea,  that  if  they  buy  a bad  arti- 
cle, they  have  a right  to  sell  it  again  as  well  as 
tliey  can,  ever  justify  the  wretched  practice  of 
selling  defective  goods,  at  the  full  value  of  those 
which  are  more  perfect. 

5.  A fraud,  still  meaner,  is  practised,  when  we 
endeavor  to  loiver  the  value  of  such  commodities  as 
ive  wish  to  buy,  ‘It  is  naught,  it  is  naught,  says 
the  buyer,  but  when  he  hath  gone  his  way  he 
boasteth,’  is  as  applicable  to  our  times,  as  to  those 
of  Solomon.  The  ignorant,  the  modest,  and  the 
necessitous  — persons  who  should  be  the  last  to 
suffer  from  fraud,  — are,  in  this  way,  often  made 
victims.  A decisive  tone  and  confident  airs,  in 
men  better  dressed,  and  who  are  sometimes  sup- 
posed to  know  better  than  themselves,  easily  bear 
down  persons  so  circumstanced,  and  persuade  them 
to  sell  their  commodities  for  less  than  they  are 
really  worth. 

Young  shopkeepers  are  often  the  dupes  of  this 
species  of  treatment.  Partly  with  a view  to  secure 
the  future  custom  of  the  stranger,  and  partly  in 
consequence  of  his  statements  that  he  cun  buy  n 
10* 


114  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

False  weights  and  measures.  This  evil  avoidable. 

similar  article  elswhere  at  a much  lower  price, 
(when  perhaps  the  quality  of  the  other  is  vastly 
inferior)  they  not  unfrequently  sell  goods  at  a pos- 
itive sacrifice  — and  what  do  they  gain  by  it.^  The 
pleasure  of  being  laughed  at  by  the  purchaser,  as 
soon  as  he  is  out  of  sight,  for  suftermg  themselves 
to  be  beaten  doivn,  as  the  phrase  is ; and  of  having 
him  boast  of  his  bargain,  and  trumpet  abroad,  with- 
out a blush,  the  value  of  the  articles  which  he  had 
just  been  decrying ! 

6. 1 mention  the  use  of  false  weights  and  meas^ 
ures  last,  not  because  it  is  a less  heinous  fraud,  but 
because  I hope  it  is  less  frequently  practised  than 
many  others.  But  it  is  a lamentable  truth  that 
weights  and  measures  are  sometimes  used  when  they 
are  known  to  be  false ; and  quite  often  when  they 
are  suspected  to  be  so.  More  frequently  still,  they 
are  used  when  they  have  been  permitted  to  become 
defective  through  inattention.  They  are  often  form-- 
ed  of  perishable  materials,  To  meet  this  there  are 
in  most  of  our  communities,  officers  appointed  to 
be  sealers  of  weights  and  measures.  When  the 
latter  are  made  of  substances  knowm  to  be  liable  to 
decay  or  wear,  the  proprietor  is  unpardonable  if 
he  does  not  have  them  frequently  and  thoroughly 
examined, 

I have  only  adverted  to  some  of  the  more  com- 
rnon  kinds  of  fraud ; such  as  the  young  are  daily, 
and  often  hourly  exposed  to,  and  against  which  it 
is  especially  important,  not  only  to  their  own  repu- 


OF  INTEGRITY. 


115 


Other  sorts  of  fraud  Thirteen  kinds  mentioned. 

tation,  but  to  their  success  iii  business,  that  they 
sliould  be  on  then’  guard.  I will  just  enumerate  a 
few  others,  for  my  limits  preclude  the  possibility  of 
any  thing  more  than  a bare  enumeration. 

1.  Suffering  borrowed  articles  to  be  injured  by 
our  negligence.  2.  Detaining  them  in  our  posses- 
sion longer  than  the  lender  had  reason  to  expect, 
3.  Employing  them  for  purposes  not  contemplated 
by  the  lender.  4.  The  returning  of  an  article  of 
inferior  value,  although  in  appearance  like  that 
which  was  borrowed.  5.  Passing  suspected  bank 
bills,  or  depreciated  counterfeit  or  clipped  coin. 
Some  persons  are  so  conscientious  on  this  point, 
that  they  will  sell  a clipped  piece  for  old  metalj 
rather  than  pass  it.  But  such  rigid  honesty  is  rather 
rare.  6.  The  use  of  pocket  money,  by  the  young, 
in  a manner  different  from  that  which  was  known 
to  be  conteniplated  by  the  parent,  or  master  who 
furnished  it.  7.  The  employment  of  time  in  a dif- 
ferent manner  from  what  was  mtended;  the  mu- 
tilating, by  hackmg,  breaking,  soiling,  or  in  any 
other  manner  wantonly  mjuring  buildings,  fences, 
and  other  property,  public  or  private;  — and  espe- 
cially crops  and  fruit  trees.  8.  Contracting  debts, 
though  ever  so  small,  without  the  almost  certain 
prospect  of  being  able  to  pay  them.  9.  Neglecting 
to  pay  them  at  the  time  expected.  10.  Paying  in 
something  of  less  value  than  we  ought.  11.  Breach- 
es of  trust.  12.  Breaking  of  promises.  13.  Overtrad- 
ing by  means  of  borrowed  capital. 


116  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Method  in  business.  Memorandum  book.  Its  uses. 


Section  III.  Method  in  Business* 

There  is  one  class  of  men  who  are  of  inestima- 
ble value  to  society  — and  the  more  so  from  their 
scarcity;  — I mean  men  of  business.  It  is  true 
you  could  hardly  offer  a greater  insult  to  most  per- 
sons than  to  say  they  are  not  of  this  class ; 
but  you  cannot  have  been  veiy  observing  not  to 
have  learned,  that  they  who  most  deserve  the 
charge  will  think  themselves  the  most  insulted  by  it. 

Nothing  contributes  more  to  despatch,  as  well  as 
safety  and  success  in  business,  than  method  and 
regularity.  Let  a person  set  down  in  his  memo- 
randum book,  every  morning,  the  several  articles 
of  business  that  ought  to  be  done  during  the  day : 
and  beginning  wdth  the  first  person  he  is  to  call 
upon,  or  the  first  place  he  is  to  go  to,  finish  that 
affair,  if  possible,  before  he  begins  another ; and  so 
on  with  the  rest. 

A man  of  business,  who  observes  this  method, 
will  hardly  ever  find  himself  hurried  or  discon- 
certed by  forgetfulness.  And  he  who  sets  down 
all  his  transactions  in  writing,  and  keeps  his  ac- 
counts, and  the  whole  state  of  his  affairs,  in  a dis- 
tinct and  accurate  order,  so  that  at  any  time,  by 
looking  into  his  books,  he  can  see  in  what  condition 
his  concerns  are,  and  w’hether  he  is  in  a thriving 
or  declining  way;  — such  a one^  I say,  deserves 
properly  the  character  of  a man  of  business ; and 


APPLICATION  TO  BUSINESS.  117 

Anecdote.  Much  business  in  little  time.  Art  of  thinking  well 


lias  a pretty  fair  prospect  of  successs  in  his  plans.* 
But  such  exactness  seldom  suits  the  man  of  pleas- 
ure. He  has  other  things  in  his  head. 

The  way  to  transact  a great  deal  of  business  in 
a little  time,  and  to  do  it  well,  is  to  observe  three 
rules.  1.  Speak  to  the  point.  2.  Use  no  more 
words  than  are  necessary,  fully  to  express  your 
meaning.  3.  Study  beforehand,  and  set  down  in 
writing  afterwards,  a sketch  of  the  transaction. 

To  enable  a person  to  speak  to  the  point,  he 
must  have  acquired,  as  one  essential  pre-requisite, 
the  art  of  thinking  to  the  point.  To  effect  these 
objects,  or  rather  this  object,  as  they  constitute  in 
reality  but  one,  is  the  legitimate  end  of  the  study  of 
grammar;  of  the  importance  of  which  I am  to 
speak  elsewhere.  This  branch  is  almost  equally 
indispensable  in  following  the  other  two  rules ; but 
here,  a thorough  knowledge  of  numbers,  as  well  as 
of  language,  will  be  demanded. 

Section  IV.  Application  to  Business. 

There  is  one  piece  of  prudence,  above  all  oth- 
ers, absolutely  necessary  to  those  who  expect  to 

* A gentleman  of  my  acquaintance  assures  me  that  he 
always  leaves  his  books,  accounts,  &c.,  in  so  complete  a 
state,  on  going  to  bed,  that  if  he  should  die  during  the  night, 
every  thing  could  be  perfectly  understood.  This  rule  he 
adiieres  to,  as  a matter  of  duty  j not  only  to  his  fellow  nien, 
but  to  God. 


118  THE  YOUNG  MAn’s  GUIDE. 

Perseverance.  Example  of  this  kind,  from  Burgh.  Diligence. 


raise  themselves  in  the  world  by  an  employment 
of  any  kind ; I mean  a constant,  unwearied  appli- 
cation to  the  main  pursuit.  By  means  of  per- 
severing diligence,  joined  to  frugality,  we  see  many 
people  in  the  lowest  and  most  laborious  stations  in 
life,  raise  themselves  to  such  circumstances  as  will 
allow  them,  in  their  old  age,  that  relief  fix)m  exces- 
sive anxiety  and  toil  which  ai'e  necessary  to  make 
the  decline  of  life  easy  and  comfortable. 

Burgh  mentions  a merchant,  who,  at  first  setting 
out,  opened  and  shut  his  shop  every  day  for  sev- 
eral weeks  together,  without  selling  goods  to  the 
value  of  two  cents ; who  by  the  force  of  application 
for  a course  of  years,  rose,  at  last,  to  a handsome 
fortune.  But  I have  known  many  who  had  a va- 
riety of  opportunities  for  settling  themselves  com- 
fortably in  the  world,  yet,  for  want  of  steadiness  to 
carry  any  scheme  to  perfection,  they  sunk  from  one 
degree  of  wretchedness  to  another  for  many  years 
together,  without  the  least  hopes  of  ever  getting 
above  distress  and  pinching  want. 

There  is  hardly  an  employment  in  life  so  trifling 
that  it  will  not  afford  a subsistence,  if  constantly 
and  faithfully  followed.  Indeed,  it  is  by  indefati- 
gable diligence  alone,  that  a.  fortune  can  be  acquir- 
ed in  any  business  whatever.  An  estate  procured 
by  wdiat  is  commonly  called  a lucky  hit,  is  a rare 
instance ; and  he  who  expects  to  have  his  fortune 
made  in  that  way,  is  about  as  rational  as  he  who 
should  neglect  all  proba))ie  means  of  earning,  in 


APPLrCATION  TO  BUSINESS.  119 

Necessity  of  application.  No  useful  business  mean.  Drones. 

hopes  that  he  should  some  time  or  other  find  a 
treasure. 

There  is  no  such  thing  as  continuing  in  the  same 
condition  without  an  income  of  some  kind  or  other. 
Jf  a man  does  not  bestir  himselfj  poverty  must, 
sooner  or  later,  overtake  him.  If  he  continues  to 
expend  for  the  necessary  charges  of  life,  and  will 
not  take  the  pains  to  gain  something  to  supply  the 
place  of  what  he  deals  out,  his  funds  must  at  length 
come  to  an  end;  and  the  misery  of  poverty  fall 
upon  him  at  an  age  when  he  is  less  able  to  grapple 
with  it. 

No  employment  that  is  really  useful  to  mankind 
deserves  to  be  regarded  as  mean.  This  has  been 
a stumbling  stone  to  many  young  men.  Because 
they  could  not  pursue  a course  which  they  deem- 
ed sufficiently  respectable,  they  neglected  business 
altogether  until  so  late  in  life  that  they  were  asham- 
ed to  make  a beginning.  A most  fatal  mistake. 
Pin  making  is  a minute  affair,  but  will  any  one 
call  the  employment  a mean  one  ? If  so,  it  is  one 
which  the  whole  civilized  world  encourage,  and  to 
which  they  are  under  lasting  obligation  daily.  Any 
useful  business  ought  to  be  reputable,  which  is 
reputably  followed. 

The  character  of  a drone  is  ahvays,  especially 
among  the  human  species,  one  of  the  most  con- 
temptible. In  proportion  to  a person’s  activity  for 
his  own  good  and  that  of  his  fellow  creatures,  he 
is  to  be  regarded  as  a more  or  less  valuable  mem- 


ISO  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Idle  men  not  very  valuable.  Prudential  consideration. 

ber  of  society.  If  all  the  idle  people  in  the  United 
States  were  to  be  buried  in  one  year,  the  loss  would 
be  trifling  in  comparison  with  the  loss  of  only  a 
very  few  industrious  people.  Each  moment  of  time 
ought  to  be  put  to  proper  use,  either  in  business,  in 
improving  the  mind,  in  the  innocent  and  necessary 
relaxations  and  entertainments  of  life,  or  in  the  care 
of  the  moral  and  religious  part  of  our  nature.  Each 
moment  of  time  is,  in  the  language  of  theology,  a 
monument  of  Divine  mercy. 


Section  Proper  Time  of  Doing  Business, 

There  are  times  and  seasons  for  eveiy  lawful 
purpose  of  life,  and  a very  material  part  of  pru- 
dence is  to  judge  rightly,  and  make  the  best  of 
them.  If  you  have  to  deal,  for  example,  with  a 
phlegmatic  gloomy  man,  take  him,  if  you  can,  over 
his  bottle.  This  advice  may  seem,  at  first  view,  to 
give  countenance  to  a species  of  fraud : but  is  it  so  ? 
These  hypochondriacal  people  have  their  fits  and 
starts,  and  if  you  do  not  take  them  when  they  are 
in  an  agreeable  state  of  mind,  you  are  very  likely  to 
find  them  quite  as  much  below  par,  as  the  bottle 
raises  them  above.  But  if  you  deal  with  them  in  this 
condition,  they  are  no  more  themselves  than  in  the 
former  case.  I therefore  think  the  advice  correct. 
It  is  on  the  same  principles,  and  in  tlie  same  belief^ 
that  I would  advise  you,  when  you  deal  with  a 


PROPER  TIME  OF  BUSINESS.  121 

How  to  meet  various  sorts  of  people.  A caution. 

covetous  man,  to  propose  your  business  to  him  im- 
mediately after  he  has  been  receiving,  rather  than 
expending  money.  So  if  you  have  to  do  with  a 
di'unkard,  call  on  him  in  the  morning ; for  then,  if 
ever,  his  head  is  clear. 

Again ; if  you  know  a person  to  be  unhappy  in 
his  family,  meet  him  abroad  if  possible,  rather  than 
at  his  own  house.  A statesman  will  not  be  likely 
to  give  you  a fivorable  reception  immediately  after 
being  disappointed  in  some  of  his  schemes.  Some 
people  are  always  sour  and  ill  humored  from  the 
hour  of  rising  till  they  have  dined. 

And  as  in  persons,  so  in  things,  the  time  is  a mat- 
ter of  great  consequence ; an  eye  to  the  rise  and 
fall  of  goods ; the  favorable  season  of  importing 
and  exporting ; — these  are  some  of  the  things 
which  require  the  attention  of  those  who  expect 
any  considerable  share  of  success. 

It  is  not  certain  but  some  dishonest  person, 
under  shelter  of  the  rule,  in  this  chapter,  may  grat- 
ify a wish  to  take  unfair  advantages  of  those  with 
whom  he  deals.  But  I hope  otherwise ; for  1 should 
be  sorry  to  give  countenance,  for  one  moment,  to 
such  conduct.  My  whole  purpose  (in  this  place)  is 
to  give  direction  to  the  young  for  securing  their 
own  rights ; not  for  taking  away  the  rights  of  others. 
The  man  who  loves  his  neighbor  as  himself,  will 
not  surely  put  a wrong  construction  on  what  I have 
written.  I would  fain  hope  that  there  is  no  depar- 
ture here  or  elsewhere,  in  the  book,  from  sound 
11 


122 


THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 


Owe  nobody.  This  not  an  impossibility.  Calculating 

Christian  morality;  for  it  is  the  bible,  on  which  I 
wish  to  see  all  moral  rules  based. 

Section  VI.  Buying  upon  Trust 

‘ Owe  no  man  any  thing,  ’ is  an  apostolic  injunc- 
tion ; and  happy  is  he  who  has  it  in  his  power  to 
obey.  In  my  own  opinion,  most  young  men  pos- 
sess this  power,  did  they  perceive  the  importance 
of  using  it  by  commencing  right.  It  is  not  so  diffi- 
cult a thing  always  to  purchase  with  ready  money, 
as  many  people  imagine.  The  great  difficulty  is  to 
moderate  our  desires  and  diminish  our  wants  within 
bounds  proportioned  to  our  income.  We  can  ex- 
pend much,  or  live  on  little ; and  this,  too,  without 
descending  to  absolute  penury.  It  is  truly  surpris- 
ing to  observe  how  people  in  similar  rank,  condition, 
and  circumstances,  contrive  to  expend  so  very  dif- 
ferently. I have  known  instances  of  young  men 
who  would  thrive  on  an  income  which  would  not 
more  than  half  support  their  neighbors  in  cii’cum- 
stances  evidently  similar. 

Study  therefore  to  live  within  your  income. 
To  this  end  you  must  calculate.  But  here  you 
will  be  obliged  to  learn  much  from  personal  ex- 
perience, dear  as  her  school  is,  unless  you  are 
willing  to  learn  from  that  of  others.  If,  for  ex- 
ample, your  income  is  $600  a year,  and  you  sit 
down  at  the  commencement  of  the  year  and  cal- 
culate on  expending  $400,  and  saving  the  remain- 


BUYING  UPON  TRUST. 


123 


Buy  only  what  you  need.  Franklin.  F.vils  of  credit. 

der,  you  will  be  very  liable  to  fail  in  your  calcula- 
tion. l>Lit  if  you  call  in  the  experience  of  wiser 
heads  who  have  travelled  the  road  of  life  before 
you,  they  will  tell  you  that  after  you  have  made 
every  reasonable  allowance  for  necessary  expenses 
during  the  year,  and  believe  yourself  able  to  lay  up 
$200,  you  will  not,  once  in  ten  times,  be  able  to 
save  more  than  two  thirds  of  that  sum  — and  this, 
too,  without  any  sickness  or  casualty. 

It  is  an  important  point  never  to  huy  what  you 
do  not  want.  Many  people  buy  an  article  merely 
because  it  is  cheap,  and  they  can  have  credit.  It 
is  true  they  imagine  they  shall  want  it  at  some 
future  time,  or  can  sell  it  again  to  advantage.  But 
they  would  not  buy  at  })resent,  if  it  cost  them  cash, 
from  their  pockets.  The  mischief  is  that  w^hen  the 
day  of  payment  is  distant,  the  cost  seems  more 
trifling  than  it  really  is.  Franklin’s  advice  is  in 
point;  ‘Buy  what  thou  hast  no  need  of,  and  ere 
long  thou  shalt  sell  thy  necessaries;’  — and  such 
persons  would  do  well  to  remember  it. 

The  difference  betw^een  credit  and  ready  money 
is  very  great.  Innumerable  things  are  not  bought 
at  all  with  ready  mone}^,  which  would  be  bought 
in  case  of  trust ; so  much  easier,  is  it,  to  order  a 
thing  than  to  pay  for  it.  A future  day,  a day  of 
payment  must  come,  to  be  sure ; but  that  is  little 
tliought  of  at  the  time.  But  if  the  money  were 
to  be  drawn  out  the  moment  the  thing  was  re- 
ceived or  offej-ed,  these  questions  would  arise ; Caii 


124  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Origin  of  suicides.  Bills  and  bonds.  Keeping  written  accounts 


I not  do  without  it  ? Is  it  indispensable  ? And  if  1 
do  not  buy  it,  shall  I suffer  a loss  or  injury  greater  in 
amount  than  the  cost  of  the  thing?  If  these  ques- 
tions were  put,  every  time  we  make  a purchase,  we 
should  seldom  hear  of  those  suicides  which  dis- 
grace this  country,  and  the  old  world  still  more. 

I am  aware  that  it  will  be  said,  and  very  truly, 
that  the  concerns  of  merchants,  the  purchasing  of 
great  estates,  and  various  other  large  transactions, 
cannot  be  carried  on  in  this  manner ; but  these  are 
rare  exceptions  to  the  rule.  And  even  in  these 
cases,  there  might  be  much  less  of  bills  and  bonds, 
and  all  the  sources  of  litigation,  than  there  now  is. 
But  in  the  every  day  business  of  life,  in  transactions 
with  the  butcher,  the  baker,  the  tailor,  the  shoe- 
maker, what  excuse  can  there  be  for  pleading  the 
example  of  the  merchant,  who  carries  on  his  work 
by  ships  and  exchanges  ? 

A certain  young  man,  on  being  requested  to  keep 
an  account  of  all  he  received  and  expended,  an- 
swered that  his  business  was  not  to  keep  account 
books : that  he  was  sure  not  to  make  a mistake  as 
to  his  income ; and  that  as  to  his  expenditure,  the 
purse  that  held  his  money,  w^ould  be  an  infallible 
guide,  for  he  never  bought  any  thing  that  he  did 
not  immediately  pay  for.  I do  not  mean  to  recom- 
mend to  young  n^en  not  to  keep  written  accounts, 
for  as  the  world  is,  I deem  it  indispensable. 

Few,  it  is  believed,  will  deny  that  they  generally 
pay,  for  the  same  article,  a fourth  part  more,  in  the 


BUYING  UPON  TRUST.  125 

Jistimates  of  losses  by  running  in  debt.  Names  buy  nothing 

case  of  trust,  than  in  that  of  ready  money.  Sup- 
pose now,  the  baker,  butcher,  tailor,  and  shoemaker, 
receive  from  you  $400  a year.  Now,  if  you  multi- 
ply the  $100  you  lose,  by  not  paying  ready  money, 
by  20,  you  will  find  that  at  the  end  of  twenty 
years,  you  have  a loss  of  $2,000,  besides  the  ac- 
cumulated interest. 

The  fathers  of  the  English  churchy  forbade  selling 
on  trust  at  a higher  price  than  for  ready  money, 
which  was  the  same  thing  in  effect  as  to  forbid 
trust;  and  this  was  doubtless  one  of  the  great  ob- 
jects those  wise  and  pious  men  had  in  view;  for 
they  were  fathers  in  legislation  and  morals,  as  well 
as  in  religion.  But  we  of  the  present  age,  seem 
to  have  grown  wiser  than  they,  and  not  only  make 
a difference  in  the  price,  regulated  by  the  differ- 
ence in  the  mode  of  payment,  but  no  one  is  expect- 
ed to  do  otherwise.  We  are  not  only  allovv^ed  to 
charge  something  for  the  use  of  the  money,  but 
sometliing  additional  for  the  risk  of  the  loss  which 
may  frequently  arise, — and  most  frequently  does 
arise  — from  tlie  misfortunes  of  those  to  whom  we 
thus  assign  our  goods  on  trust. 

The  Jiian,  therefore,  who  purchases  on  trust,  not 
only  pays  for  being  credited,  but  he  also  pays  his 
share  of  what  the  tradesman  loses  by  his  general 
practice  of  selling  iq)on  trust ; and  after  all,  he  is 
not  so  good  a customer  as  the  m^n  who  purchases 
cheaply  with  ready  money.  His  naine,  indeed,  is  in 
the  tradesman’s  book,  but  witli  that  name  the  trades- 
man cannot  buy  a fresh  siq>ply  of  goods. 

IP 


.126  THE  YOUNG  MAn’s  GUIDE. 

Advantages  of  ready  money.  Stinginess,  and  avarice. 

Infinite,  almost,  are  the  ways  in  which  people 
lose  by  this  sort  of  dealing.  Domestics  sometimes 
go  and  order  things  not  wanted  at  all;  at  other 
times  more  than  is  wanted.  All  this  would  be 
obviated  by  purchasing  with  ready  money;  for 
whether  through  the  hands  of  the  party  himself, 
or  those  of  some  other  person,  there  would  always 
be  an  actual  counting  out  of  the  monej''.  Somebody 
would  see  the  thing  bought,  and  the  money  paid. 
And  as  the  master  would  give  the  steward  or  house- 
keeper a purse  of  money  at  the  time,  he  would  see 
the  money  too,  w^oidd  set  a proper  value  upon  it, 
and  would  just  desire  to  know  upon  what  it  had 
been  expended. 

Every  man,  w^ho  purchases  for  ready  money, 
will  naturally  make  the  amount  of  the  purchase  as 
low  as  possible,  in  proportion  to  his  means.  This 
care  and  frugality  will  make  an  addition  to  his 
means;  and  therefore,  at  the  end  of  his  life,  he 
will  have  a great  deal  more  to  spend,  and  still  be 
as  rich  as  if  he  had  been  trusted  all  his  days.  In 
addition  to  this,  he  will  eat,  and  drink,  and  sleep 
in  peace,  and  avoid  all  the  endless  papers,  and 
writings,  and  mceipts,  and  bills,  and  disputes,  and 
lawsuits,  inseparable  from  the  credit  system. 

This  is  by  no  means  intended  as  a lesson  of 
stinginess,  nor  is  it  any  part  of  my  purpose  to  in- 
c.ulcate  the  plan  of  heaping  up  money.  But  pur- 
chasing with  ready  money  really  gives  you  more 
money  to  purchase  with  ; you  can  afford  to  have  a 


OF  TRUSTING  OTHERS.  127 

Temptation  avoided.  Charity  often  called  for.  An  old  maxim. 

gi'eater  quantity  and  variety  of  enjoyments.  In  the 
town,  it  will  tend  to  hasten  your  pace  along  the 
streets,  for  the  temjitation  at  the  w^indows  is  ans- 
wered in  a moment  by  clapping  your  hand  upon 
your  pocket ; and  the  question  ; ‘ Do  I really  want 
it.^  ’ is  sure  to  recur  immediately ; because  the  touch 
of  the  money  will  put  the  thought  into  your  mind. 

Now  supposing  you  to  have  a fortune,  even 
beyond  your  actual  wants,  would  not  the  money 
which  you  might  save  in  this  way,  be  very  well  ap- 
plied hi  acts  of  real  benevolence  ? Can  you  walk 
or  ride  a mile,  in  the  city  or  country,  or  go  to  lialf 
a dozen  houses ; or  in  fact  can  you  open  your  eyes 
without  seeing  some  human  being,  born  in  the 
same  country  with  yourself,  and  who,  on  that  ac- 
count alone,  has  some  claim  upon  your  good  wishes 
and  your  charity  ? Can  you,  if  you  would,  avoid 
seeing  one  person,  if  no  more,  to  whom  even  a small 
portion  of  your  annual  savings  would  convey  glad- 
ness of  heart  Your  own  feelings  will  suggest 
the  answer. 

Section  Vll.  Of  entrusting  Business  to  others, 

‘ If  you  wish  to  have  your  business  done,  go ; if 
not,  send.’  This  is  an  old  maxim ; and  one  wdiich 
is  no  less  true  than  old.  Every  young  man,  on  set- 
ting out  in  the  world,  should  make  it  a rule,  never  to 
trust  any  thing  of  consequence  to  another,  which  he 
can,  without  too  much  difficulty,  perform  himself. 


128  THE  YOUNG  3IAN’s  GUIDE. 

Reasons  for  attending  to  our  business.  Trusting  dependants! 

1.  Because,  let  a person  liave  my  interest  ever 
so  much  at  heart,  I am  sure  I regard  it  more  my- 
self. 

2.  Nothing  is  more  difficult  than  to  know,  in  all 
cases,  the  characters  of  those  we  confide  in.  How 
can  we  expect  to  understand  the  characters  of 
others,  when  we  scarcely  know  our  own  ? Which 
of  us  can  know,  positively,  that  he  shall  never  be 
guilty  of  another  vice  or  weakness,  or  yield  to  an- 
other temptation,  and  thus  forfeit  public  confidence  ? 
Who,  then,  will  needlessly  trust  another,  when  he 
can  hardly  be  sure  of  himself.^ 

3.  No  substitute  we  can  employ,  can  understand 
our  business  as  well  as  ourselves. 

4.  We  can  change  our  measures  according  to 
changing  circumstances;  whicli  gives  us  those 
opportunities  of  doing  things  in  the  best  way,  of 
which  another  will  not  feel  justified  in  availing 
himself. 

As  for  dependants  of  every  kind,  it  should  ever 
be  remembered  that  their  master’s  interest  some- 
times possesses  only  the  second  place  in  their  hearts. 
Self-love,  with  such,  will  be  the  ruling  principle  of 
action ; and  no  fidelity  whatever  will  prevent  a 
person  from  bestowing  a good  deal  of  thought  upon 
his  own  concerns.  But  this  must,  of  necessity, 
break  in  more  or  less  upon  his  diligence  in  con- 
sulting the  interest  of  his  employers.  How  men  of 
business  can  venture,  as  they  sometimes  do,  to  trust 
concerns  of  great  importance,  for  half  of  every 


OF  TRUSTING  OTHERS.  329 

A fashionable  maxim.  Sometimes  leads  to  error.  Doing  good. 


week  in  the  year,  (which  is  half  the  whole  year)  to 
dependants,  and  thus  expect  others  to  take  care  of 
their  business,  when  they  will  not  be  at  the  trouble 
of  minding  it  themselves,  is  to  me  inconceivable ! 
Nor  does  the  detection,  from  tinle  to  time,  of  fraud 
in  such  persons,  seem  at  all  to  diminish  this  practice. 

There  is  a maxim  among  business  people,  ‘ nev- 
er to  do  tliat  for  themselves  which  they  can  pay 
another  for  doing.’^  Tliis,  though  true  to  a certain 
extent,  is  liable  to  abuse.  If  every  body,  without 
discrimination,  could  be  safely  trusted,  the  maxim 
might  be  more  just ; since  nothing  is  more  obvious 
than  that  laborers  are  often  at  hand,  whose  time 
can  be  bought  for  a much  less  sum  of  money  than 
you  would  yourself  earn  in  the  meantime.  I have 
often  known  people  make  or  mend  little  pieces 
of  furniture,  implements  of  their  occupations,  &c. 
to  save  expense,  when  they  could  have  earned,  at 
their  labor  during  the  same  time,  twice  the  sum 
necessary  to  pay  a trusty  and  excellent  workman 
for  doing  it. 

But,  as  I have  already  observed,  persons  are  not 
always  at  hand,  in  whom  you  can  confide ; so  that 
the  certainty  of  having  a thing  done  right,  is  worth 
much  more  than  the  loss  of  a little  time.  Besides, 
God  has  never  said  how  much  we  must  do  in  this 
world.  We  are  indeed  to  do  all  we  can,  and  at  the 
same  time  do  it  well;  but  how  much  that  is,  we 
must  judge.  He  is  not  necessarily  the  most  useful 
man  who  does  even  the  gi^eatest  amount  of  good ; — 


130  THE  YOUNG  MAn’s  GUIDE. 

A mistake  corrected.  Eagerness  to  overtrade.  Its  danger 

but  he  who  does  the  most  good,  attended  with  the 
least  evil. 

But  we  should  remember  that  what  others  do,  is 
not  done  by  ourselves.  Still,'  an  individual  may  often 
do  many  little  things  without  any  hindrance  to  his 
main  object.  For  example,  I w^ould  not  thank  a 
person  to  make  or  mend  my  pen,  or  shave  me ; 
because  I can  write  as  much,  or  perform  as  much 
business  of  any  kind,  in  a week  or  month  — proba- 
bly more  — if  I stop  to  mpnd  my  pens,  shave  my- 
self daily,  make  fires,  saw  and  split  wood,  &c.  as 
if  I do  not.  And  the  same  is  true  of  a thousand 
other  things. 

Section  VIII.  Over  Trading. 

I have  already  classed  this  among  the  frauds  into 
which  business  men  are  in  danger  of  falling;  and 
1 cannot  but  think  its  character  will  be  pretty  well 
established  by  what  follows. 

Over  trading  is  an  error  into  which  many  indus- 
trious, and  active  young  men  are  apt  to  run,  from 
a desire  of  getting  ricli  more  rapidly  than  they  are 
able  to  do  with  a smaller  business.  And  yet  pro- 
fusion itself  is  not  more  dangerous.  Indeed,  1 
question  whether  idleness  brings  more  people  to 
ruin  than  over  trading. 

This  subject  is  intimately  connected  with  credit, 
for  it  is  the  credit  system  that  gives  such  facilities 
to  over  trading.  But  of  the  evils  of  credit  I have 


MAKING  CONTRACTS. 


131 


Sin  of  monopoly.  Making  bargains  beforehand.  Reasons. 

treated  fully  elswhere.  I will  only  add,  under  this 
head,  a few  remarks  on  one  particular  species  of 
trading.  I refer  to  the  conduct  of  many  persons, 
with  large  capitals,  who,  for  the  sake  of  adding  to 
a heap  already  too  large,  monopolize  the  market,  — 
or  trade  for  a profit  which  they  know  dealers  of 
smaller  fortunes  cannot  possibly  live  by.  If  such 
men  really  think  that  raising  tliemselves  on  the  ruin 
of  others,  in  this  manner,  is  justifiable,  and  tliat  rich- 
es obtained  in  this  manner  are  fairly  earned,  they 
must  certamly  have  either  neglected  to  inform 
themselves,  or  stifled  the  remonstrances  of  con- 
science, and  bid  defiance  to  the  laws  of  God. 

Section  IX.  Making  Contracts  beforehand. 

In  making  bargains  — with  workmen,  for  exam- 
ple— always  do  it  beforehand,  and  never  suffer 
the  matter  to  be  deferred  by  their  saying  they  will 
leave  it  to  your  discretion. 

There  are  several  reasons  why  this  ought  to  be 
done.  1st.  It  prevents  any  difficulty  afterward  ; and 
does  no  harm,  even  when  the  intentions  of  both 
parties  are  perfectly  good.  2d.  If  you  are  dealing 
with  a knave,  it  jn’events  him  from  accomplishing 
any  evil  designs  he  may  have  upon  you.  3d. 
Young  people  are  apt  to  be  deceived  by  appear- 
naces,  both  from  a credulity  common  to  their  youth 
and  inexperience,  and  because  neither  the  young 
nor  the  old  have  any  certain  method  of  knowuig 


132  THE  YOUNG  MAn’s  GUIDE. 

Contracts  sliould  be  in  writing.  The  sharper.  The  avaricious* 


human  character  by  externals.  The  most  open 
hearted  are  the  most  liable  to  be  imposed  upon  by 
the  designing. 

It  will  be  well  to  have  all  your  business  — of 
course  all  contracts  — as  far  as  may  be  practicable, 
in  writing.  And  it  would  be  well  if  men  of  busi- 
ness would  make  it  a constant  rule,  whenever  and 
wherever  it  is  possible,  to  draw  up  a minute  or 
memorial  of  every  transaction,  subscribed  by  both, 
with  a clause  signifying  that  in  case  of  any  differ- 
ence, they  would  submit  the  matter  to  arbitration. 

Nothing  is  more  common  than  for  a designing 
person  to  put  off  the  individual  he  wishes  to  take 
advantage  of,  by  saying;  We  shanH  disagree,  IHl 
do  whaVs  right  about  it;  I won't  ivrong  you,  fyc. 
And  then  when  accounts  come  to  be  settled,  and 
the  party  who  thinks  himself  aggrieved,  says  that 
• he  made  the  bargain  with  the  expectation  of  having 
such  and  such  advantages  allowed  him,  JVb,  says 
the  sharper,  I never  told  you  any  such  thing. 

It  is  on  this  account  that  you  cannot  be  too  exact 
in  making  contracts ; nor  is  there  indeed  any  safety 
in  dealing  with  deceitful  and  avaricious  people, 
after  you  have  taken  all  the  precaution  in  your 
power. 


WHOM  TO  DEAL  WITH.  133 

Two  maxims  reconciled.  How  to  detect  knavery. 


Section  X.  How  to  know  with  whom  to  deal. 

TJiere  are  two  maxims  in  common  life  that  seem 
to  clash  with  each  other,  most  pointedly.  The  fii*st 
is,  ‘ Use  every  precaution  with  a stranger,  that  you 
would  wish  you  had  done,  should  he  turn  out  to  be 
a villain;’  and  secondly,  ‘Treat  every  man  as  an 
honest  man,  until  he  proves  to  be  otherwise.’ 

Now  there  is  good  advice  in  both  these  maxims. 
By  this  I mean  that  they  may  both  be  observed, 
to  a certain  extent,  without  interfering  with  each 
other.  You  may  be  cautious  about  hastily  becom- 
ing acquainted  with  a stranger,  and  yet  so  far  as 
you  have  any  concern  with  him,  treat  him  like 
an  honest  man.  No  reasonable  person  will  com- 
plain if  you  do  not  unbosom  yourself  to  him  at 
once.  And  if  he  is  unreasonable,  you  will  not 
wish  for  an  intimate  acquaintance  with  him. 

My  present  purpose  is  to  offer  a few  hints,  with 
a view  to  assist  you  in  judgmg  of  the  characters  of 
those  with  whom  it  may  be  your  lot  to  deal.  Re- 
member, however,  that  like  all  things  human,  they 
are  imperfect.  All  I can  say  is  that  they  are  the 
best  I can  offer.  * 

There  is  something  in  knavery  that  will  hardly 
bear  the  inspection  of  a piercing  eye;  and  you 
may,  more  generally,  observe  in  a sharper  an  un- 
steady and  confused  look.  If  a person  is  per- 
j^uflded  of  the  uncommon  sagacity  of  one  before 
.12 


134  THE  YOUNH  man’s  GtJIDE. 

Avaricious  men  seldom  honest.  Cant  and  fawning.  Suspicion. 


wliom  he  is  to  appear,  he  will  hardly  succeed  in 
mustering  impudence  and  artifice  enough  to  bear 
him  through  without  faltering.  It  will,  therefore, 
be  a good  way  to  try  one  whom  you  have  reason 
to  suspect  of  a design  upon  you,  by  fixing  your 
eyes  upon  his,  and  bringing  up  a supposition  of 
your  having  to  do  with  one  wliose  integrity  you 
suspected;  stating  what  you  would  do  in  such  a 
case.  If  the  person  you  are  talking  with  be  really 
what  you  expect,  he  will  hardly  be  able  to  keep  his 
countenance. 

It  will  be  a safe  rule,  — though  doubtless  there 
are  exceptions  to  it,  — to  take  mankind  to  be  more 
or  less  avaricious.  Yet  a great  love  of  money  is 
a great  enemy  to  honesty.  The  aged  are,  in  this 
respect,  more  dangerous  than  the  young.  It  will 
be  your  wisdom  ever  to  be  cautious  of  aged  ava- 
rice; and  especially  of  those  who,  in  an  affected 
and  forced  manner,  bring  in  religion,  and  talk  much 
of  duty  on  all  occasions ; of  all  smooth  and  fawning 
people ; of  those  who  are  very  talkative,  and  who, 
in  dealing  with  you,  endeavor  to  draw  off  your  at- 
tention from  the  point  in  hand  by  incoherent  or 
random  exi)ressions. 

I have  already  advised  you  how  to  proceed  with 
those  of  whom  you  have  good  reason  to  be  suspi- 
cious. But  by  all  means  avoid  entertaining  unne- 
cessary suspicions  of  your  fellow  beings;  for  it 
will  usually  render  both  you  and  them  the  more 
miserable.  It  is  often  owing  to  a consciousness 


WHOM  TO  DEAL  WITH. 


135 


Boasters.  Promisers.  Avoid  the  cruel  man. 

of  a designing  temper,  in  ourselves,  that  we  are  led 
to  suspect  others. 

If  you  hear  a person  boasting  of  having  got  a 
remarkably  good  bargain,  you  may  generally  con- 
clude him  by  no  means  too  honest ; for  almost  al- 
ways where  one  gains  much  in  a bargain,  the  other 
loses.  I know  well  that  cases  occur  where  both 
parties  are  gainers,  but  not  greatly  so.  And  when 
you  hear  a man  triumph  in  gaining  by  another’s 
loss,  you  may  easily  judge  of  his  character. 

Let  me  warn  you  against  the  sanguine  promis- 
ers.  Of  these  there  are  two  sorts.  The  first  are 
those  who  from  a foolish  custom  of  fawning  upon 
all  those  whom  they  meet  with  in  company,  have 
acquired  a habit  of  promising  great  favors  which 
they  have  no  idea  of  performing.  The  second  are 
a sort  of  warm  hearted  people,  who  while  they 
lavish  their  promises  have  some  thoughts  of  per- 
forming them ; but  when  the  time  comes,  and  the 
sanguine  fit  is  worn  off,  the  trouble  or  expense  ap- 
pears in  another  light ; the  promiser  cools,  and  the 
expectant  is  disappointed. 

Be  cautious  of  dealing  with  an  avaricious  and 
cruel  man,  for  if  it  should  happen  by  an  unlucky, 
turn  of  trade  that  you  should  come  into  the  power 
of  such  a person,  you  have  nothing  to  expect  but 
the  utmost  rigor  of  the  law. 

In  negotiating,  there  are  a number  of  circum- 
stances to  be  considered;  the  neglect  of  any  of 
which  may  defeat -your  whole  scheme.  These 
will  be  mentioned  in  the  next  section. 


136  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Studying  human  nature.  The  miser.  The  passionate  man. 


Section  XI.  How  to  take  Men  as  they  are. 

Such  a knowledge  of  human  character  as  will 
enable  us  to  treat  mankind  according  to  their  dis- 
positions, circumstances,  and  modes  of  thinking, 
so  as  to  secure  thew  aid  in  all  our  laudable  pur- 
poses, is  absolutely  indispensable.  And  while  all 
men  boast  of  their  knowledge  of  human  nature, 
and  would  rather  be  thought  ignorant  of  almost 
every  thing  else  than  this,  how  obvious  it  is  that 
there  is  nothing  in  regard  to  which  there  exists  so 
much  ignorance ! 

A miser  is  by  no  means  a proper  person  to  ap- 
ply to  for  a favor  that  will  cost  him  any  thing. 
But  if  he  chance  to  be  a man  of  principle,  he  may 
make  an  excellent  partner  in  trade,  or  arbitrator  in 
a dispute  about  property ; for  he  will  have  patience 
to  investigate  little  things,  and  to  stand  about  trifles, 
which  a generous  man  would  scorn.  Still,  as  an 
honest  man,  and  above  all  as  a Christian,  I doubt 
whether  it  would  be  quite  right  thus  to  derive  ad- 
vantage from  the  vices  of  another.  In  employing 
the  miser,  you  give  scope  to  his  particular  vice. 

A passionate  man  will  fly  into  a rage  at  the  most 
trifling  affront,  but  he  will  generally  forget  it  nearly 
as  soon,  and  be  glad  to  do  any  thing  in  his  power 
to  make  up  with  you.  It  is  not  therefore  so  dan- 
gerous to  disoblige  him,  as  the  gloomy,  sullen  mor- 
tal, who  will  wait  seven  yeai's  for  an  opportunity  to 
do  you  mischief. 


TAKING  MEN  AS  THEY  ARE.  137 

The  slow  man.  The  covetous.  Boasters.  The  talkative* 


A cool,  slow  man,  who  is  somewhat  advanced 
in  age,  is  generally  the  best  person  to  advise  with. 
For  despatch  of  business,  however,  make  use  of 
the  young,  the  warm,  and  the  sanguine.  Some  men 
are  of  no  character  at  all ; but  always  take  a tinge 
from  the  last  company  they  were  in.  Their  ad- 
vice, as  well  as  their  assistance,  is  usually  good  for 
nothing. 

It  is  in  vain  to  think  of  finding  anything  very 
valuable  in  the  mind  of  a covetous  man.  Avarice 
is  generally  the  vice  of  abject  spirits.  Men  who 
have  a very  great  talent  at  making  money,  com- 
monly have  no  other ; for  the  man  who  began  witli 
nothing,  and  has  accumulated  wealth,  has  been  too 
busy  to  think  of  improving  his  mind;  or  indeed, 
to  thmk  of  any  tiling  else  but  property. 

A boaster  is  always  to  be  suspected.  His  is  a 
natural  infirmity,  which  makes  him  forget  what 
he  is  about,  and  run  into  a thousand  extravagances 
that  have  no  connection  with  the  truth.  With  those 
who  have  a tolerable  knowledge  of  the  world,  all 
his  assertions,  professions  of  friendship,  promises, 
and  threatenings,  go  for  nothing.  Trust  him  with 
a secret,  and  he  will  surely  discover  it,  either 
through  vanity  or  levity. 

A meek  tempered  man  is  not  quite  the  proper 
person  for  you  ; his  modesty  will  be  easily  confound- 
ed.  — The  talkative  man  will  be  apt  to  forget  him- 
self, and  blunder  out  something  that  wiU  give  you 
trouble. 

12’^ 


138  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

The  ruling  passion.  A bully.  Six  kinds  of  character. 

A man’s  ruling  passion  is  the  key  by  which  you 
may  come  at  his  character,  and  pretty  nearly  guess 
how  he  will  act  in  any  given  circumstances,  unless 
he  is  a wit  or  a fool ; they  act  chiefly  from  caprice. 

There  are  likewise  connections  between  the  dif- 
ferent parts  of  men’s  characters,  which  it  will  be 
useful  for  you  to  study.  For  example,  if  you  find 
a man  to  be  hasty  and  passionate,  you  may  gene- 
rally take  it  for  granted  he  is  open  and  artless,  and 
so  on.  Like  other  general  rules,  however,  this  ad- 
mits of  many  exceptions. 

A bully  is  usually  a coward.  When,  therefore, 
you  unluckily  have  to  deal  with  such  a man,  the 
best  way  is  to  make  up  to  him  boldly,  and  answer 
him  with  firmness.  If  you  show  the  least  sign  of 
submission,  he  will  take  advantage  of  it  to  use 
you  ill. 

There  are  six  sorts  of  people,  at  whose  hands 
you  need  not  expect  much  kindness.  The  sordid 
and  narroiD  minded^  think  of  nobody  but  them- 
selves. The  lazy  will  not  take  the  trouble  to  oblige 
you.  The  husy  have  not  time  to  think  of  you. 
The  overgrown  rich  man,  is  above  regarding  any 
one,  how  much  soever  he  may  stand  in  need  of 
assistance.  The  poor  and  unhappy  often  have 
not  the  ability.  The  good  natured  simpleton,  how- 
ever willing,  is  incapable  of  servmg  you.  * 

^ These  statements  may  seem  to  require  a little  quali- 
fication. There  are  tivo  sorts  of  busy  men.  One  sort 
nre  busy,  as  the  result  of  benevolent  purpose.  These 


TAKING  MEN  AS  THEY  ARE.  139 

Youth  precipitate.  Age  cautious.  Two  sorts  of  rich  men. 

The  age  of  the  person  you  are  to  deal  with  is 
also  to  be  considered.  Young  people  are  easily 
drawn  into  any  scheme,  merely  from  its  being  new, 
especially  if  it  falls  in  with  their  love  of  pleasure ; 
but  they  are  almost  as  easily  discouraged  from  it 
by  the  next  person  they  meet  with.  They  are  not 
good  counsellors,  for  they  are  apt  to  be  precipitate 
and  thoughtless;  but  are  very  fit  for  action,  where 
you  prescribe  them  a track  from  which  they  know 
they  must  not  vary.  Old  age,  on  the  contrary,  is 

are  often  among  the  best  of  mankind;  and  though  always 
busy  in  carrying  out  their  plans,  they  find  time  to  perform 
a thousand  little  acts  of  goodness,  notwithstanding.  — It 
has,  indeed,  been  sometimes  said,  that  when  a great  public 
enterprise  is  about  to  be  undertaken,  which  requires  the 
aid  of  individual  contributions,  either  of  time  or  money, 
those  who  are  most  busy,  and  from  whom  we  might  naturally 
expect  the  least,  often  do  the  most.  It  is  also  said  that 
men  of  business  have  the  most  leisure;  and  it  sometimes 
seems  to  be  true,  where  they  methodize  their  plans  pro- 
perly. These  maxims,  however,  apply  with  the  most  force 
to  men  devoted  to  a higlier  purpose  than  the  worship  of 
this  world  — men  who  live  for  God,  and  the  good  of  his 
universe,  generally. 

There  are  also  two  sorts  of  rich  men.  Some  men  may 
have  property  in  their  hands  to  an  immense  amount,  with- 
out possessing  a worldly  spirit.  The  rich  man  referred  to 
above,  is  of  another  sort.  He  is  the  man  who  ‘ gets  all  he 
can,  and  keeps  all  he  can  get.^  This  is  probably  the 
gospel  definition  of  the  term,  a rich  man,  who,  it  is  said, 
can  no  more  enter  a w'orld  of  spiritual  enjoyment  than  u 
camel  or  a cable  can  go  through  ‘ the  eye  of  a needle.’ 


140  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Old  and  young  counsellors  compared.  Who  are  the  best. 

slow  but  sure ; very  cautious ; opposed  to  new 
schemes  and  ways  of  life ; inclining,  generally,  to 
covetousness ; fitter  to  consult  with  you,  than  to 
act  for  you ; not  so  easily  won  by  fair  speeches  or 
long  reasonings ; tenacious  of  old  opinions,  cus- 
toms, and  formalities ; apt  to  be  displeased  with 
those,  especially  younger  people,  who  pretend  to 
question  their  judgment;  fond  of  deference,  and  of 
being  listened  to.  Young  people,  in  their  anger, 
mean  less  than  they  say;  old  people  more.  You 
may  make  up  for  an  injury  with  most  young  men; 
the  old  are  generally  more  slow  in  forgiving. 

The  fittest  character  to  be  conceiiied  with  in 
business,  is,  that  in  which  are  united  an  inviolable 
integrity,  founded  upon  rational  principles  of  vir- 
tue and  religion,  a cool  but  determined  temper,  a 
friendly  heart,  a ready  hand,  long  experience  and 
extensive  knowledge  of  the  w'orld;  with  a solid 
reputation  of  many  years’  standing,  and  easy  ch* 
cumstances. 


Section  XII.  Of  desiring  the  good  opinion  of  others* 

A young  man  is  not  far  from  ruin,  w^hen  he  can 
say,  without  blushing,  I donH  care  what  others  think 
of  me.  To  be  insensible  to  public  opinion,  or  to 
the  estimation  in  which  we  are  held  by  others,  by 
no  means  mdicates  a good  and  generous  spirit. 

But  to  have  a due  regard  to  public  opinion  is 
one  thing,  and  to  make  that  opinion  the  principal 


REGARD  TO  PUBLIC  OPINION.  141 

Regard  to  public  opinion.  Enemies  sometimes  the  best  of  friends. 


rule  of  action,  quite  another.  There  is  no  greater 
weakness  than  that  of  letting  our  happiness  depend 
too  much  upon  the  opinion  of  others.  Other  people 
lie  under  such  disadvantages  for  coming  at  our  true 
characters,  and  are  so  often  misled  by  prejudice  for 
or  against  us,  that  if  our  own  conscience  condemns 
us,  their  approbation  can  give  us  little  consolation. 
On  the  other  hand,  if  we  are  sure  we  acted  from 
honest  motives,  and  with  a reference  to  proper 
ends,  it  is  of  little  consequence  if  the  world  should 
happen  to  find  fault.  Mankind,  for  the  most  part, 
are  so  much  governed  by  fancy,  that  what  will  win 
their  hearts  to-day,  will  disgust  them  to-morrow ; 
and  he  who  undertakes  to  please  every  body  at  all 
times,  places,  and  chcumstances,  will  never  be  in 
want  of  employment. 

A wise  man,  when  he  hears  of  reflections  made 
upon  him,  will  consider  whether  they  are  just  If 
they  are,  he  will  correct  the  faults  in  question,  with 
as  much  cheerfulness  as  if  they  had  been  suggested 
by  his  dearest  friend. 

I have  sometimes  thought  that,  in  this  view, 
enemies  were  the  best  of  friends.  Those  who  are 
merely  friends  in  name,  are  often  unwilling  to  tell 
us  a great  many  things  which  it  is  of  the  highest 
importance  that  we  should  know.  But  our  ene- 
mies, from  spite,  envy,  or  some  other  cause,  men- 
tion them ; and  we  ought  on  the  whole  to  rejoice 
that  they  do,  and  to  make  the  most  of  their  re« 
mai’ks. 


142 

Of  meddlers. 


THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

A useful  rule.  Match-makera. 


Section  XITI.  Intermeddling  with  the  affairs  of 
others. 

There  are  some  persons  who  never  appear  to  be 
happy,  if  left  to  themselves  and  their  own  reflec- 
tions. All  their  enjoyment  seems  to  come  from 
without ; none  from  within.  They  are  ever  fcr 
having  something  to  do  with  the  affairs  of  others. 
Not  a single  petty  quarrel  can  take  place,  in  the 
neighborhood,  but  they  suffer  their  feelings  to  be 
enlisted,  and  allow  themselves  to  “ take  sides  ” with 
one  of  the  parties.  Those  who  possess  such  a dis- 
position are  among  the  most  miserable  of  their  race. 

An  old  writer  says  that  ‘ Every  one  should  mind 
Jiis  ^wn  business ; for  he  who  is  perpetually  con- 
cerning himself  about  the  good  or  ill  fortune  of 
others,  will  never  be  at  rest.’  And  he  says  tndy. 

It  is  not  denied  that  some  men  are  profession 
ally  bound  to  attend  to  the  concerns  of  others. 
But  this  is  not  the  case  supposed.  The  bulk  of 
mankind  will  be  happier,  and  do  more  for  others, 
by  letting  them  alone ; at  least  by  avoiding  any  of 
that  sort  of  meddling  which  may  be  construed  into 
ofhciousness. 

Some  of  the  worst  meddlers  in  human  society 
are  those  who  have  been  denominated  maich-mak" 
ers.  A better  name  for  them,  however,  would  be 
nmtch-h'eakei's,  for  if  they  do  not  actually  break 
more  matches  than  they  make,  they  usually  cause 


ON  KEEPING  SECRETS. V-  143 

^ >j,  ■. 

Taking  sides  on  all  occasions.  Its  evils.  Of  secrets. 

a great  deal  of  misery  to  those  whom  tliey  are  in- 
strumental in  bringing  prematurely  together. 

Many  people  who,  in  other  respects,  pass  for  ex- 
cellent, do  not  hesitate  to  take  sides  on  almost  all 
occasions,  whether  they  know  much  about  the  real 
merits  of  the  case  or  not.  Others  judge,  at  once, 
of  every  one  of  whom  they  hear  any  thing  evil , 
and  in  the  same  premature  manner. 

All  these  and  a thousand  other  kinds  of ‘med- 
dling’ do  much  evil.  The  tendency  is  to  keep 
men  like  Ishmael,  with  their  hands  against  every 
man,  and  every  man’s  hands  against  theirs. 


Section  XIV.  On  Keeping  Secrets, 

It  is  sometimes  said  that  in  a good  state  of  so- 
ciety there  would  be  no  necessity  of  keeping  secrets, 
for  no  individual  would  have  any  thing  to  conceal. 
This  may  he  true;  but  if  so,  society  is  far  — very 
far  — from  being  as  perfect  as  it  ought  to  be.  At 
present  we  shall  find  no  intelligent  circle,  except 
it  were  the  society  of  the  glorified  above,  which 
does  not  require  occasional  secrecy.  But  if  there 
are  secrets  to  be  kept,  somebody  must  keep  them. 

Some  persons  can  hardly  conceal  a secret,  if 
they  would.  They  will  promise  readily  enough; 
but  the  moment  they  gain  possession  of  the  fact,  its 
importance  rises  in  their  estimation,  till  it  occupies 
so  much  of  their  waking  thoughts,  that  it  will  be 
almost  certain,  in  some  form  or  other,  to  escape 
them.  ^ 


144  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Promise  breakers.  A few  persons  may  be  trusted.  Reserve. 


Others  are  not  very  anxious  to  conceal  things 
which  are  entrusted  to  them.  They  may  not  wish 
to  make  mischief,  exactly;  but  there  is  a sort  of 
recklessness  about  them,  that  renders  them  very 
unsafe  confidants. 

Others  again,  when  they  promise,  mean  to  per- 
form. But  no  sooner  do  they  possess  the  treasure 
committed  to  their  charge,  than  they  begin  to  grow 
forgetful  of  the  manner  of  coming  by  it.  And  be- 
fore they  are  aware,  they  reveal  it. 

There  are  not  many  then,  whom  it  is  safe  to 
trust.  These  you  will  value  as  they  do  diamonds, 
in  proportion  to  their  scarcity. 

But  there  are  individuals  who  merit  your  high- 
est confidence,  if  you  can  but  find  them.  Hus- 
bands, where  a union  is  founded  as  it  ought  to  be, 
can  usually  trust  their  wives.  This  is  one  of  the 
prominent  advantages  of  matrimony.  It  gives  us  an 
opportunity  of  unbosoming  our  feelings  and  views 
and  wishes  not  only  with  safety,  but  often  with 
sympathy. 

But  confidence  may  sometimes  be  reposed,  in 
other  circumstances.  Too  much  reserve  makes  us 
miserable.  Perhaps  it  were  better  that  we  should 
suffer  a little,  now  and  then,  than  that  we  should 
never  trust. 

As  an  instance  of  the  extent  to  which  mankind 
can  sometimes  be  confided  in,  and  to  show  that 
celibacy,  too,  is  not  without  tliis  virtue,  you  will 
allow  me  to  relate,  briefly,  an  anecdote. 


FEAR  OF  POVERTY. 


145 


A singular  disease.  Poverty  m this  country,  often  imaginary. 

A certain  husband  and  wife  had  difficulties* 
They  both  sought  advice  of  a single  gentleman, 
their  family  physician.  For  some  time  there  was 
hope  of  an  amicable  adjustment  of  all  grievances  5 
but  at  length  every  effort  proved  vain,  and  an  open 
quarrel  ensued.  But  what  Vv^as  the  surprise  of  each 
party  to  learn  by  accident,  some  time  afterward, 
that  both  of  them  had  sought  counsel  of  the  same 
individual,  and  yet  he  had  not  betrayed  the  trust. 

In  a few  instances,  too,  secrets  have  been  con* 
fided  to  husbands,  without  their  communicating 
them  to  their  wives ; and  the  contrary.  This  was 
done,  however,  by  paiticular  request.  It  is  a re* 
quisition  which,  for  my  own  part,  I should  be  very 
unwilling  to  make* 

Section  XV.  Fear  of  Poverty. 

The  ingenious  but  sometimes  fanciful  Dr.  DaP* 
Win,  reckons  the  fear  of  poverty  as  a disease,  and 
goes  on  to  prescribe  for  it. 

The  truth  is,  there  is  not  much  real  poverty  in 
this  country*  Our  very  paupers  are  rich,  for  they 
usually  have  plenty  of  wffioiesome  food,  and  com* 
fortable  clothing,  and  what  could  a Croesus,  with 
all  his  riches,  have  more.^  Poverty  exists  much 
more  in  imagination  than  in  reality.  The  shame  of 
being  thought  poor,  is  a great  and  fatal  weakness^ 
to  say  the  least*  It  depends,  it  is  true,  much  upoil 
tlie  fashion. 


13 


146  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Danger  of  the  young.  Republican  society.  Disguising  our  poverty. 


So  long  as  the  phrase  ‘ he  is  a good  nran,’  means 
that  the  person  spoken  of  is  rich,  we  need  not 
wonder  that  every  one  wishes  to  be  thought  richer 
than  he  is.  When  adulation  is  sure  to  follow 
wealth,  and  when  Contempt  would  be  sure  to  fol- 
low many  if  they  were  not  wealthy ; when  people 
are  spoken  of  with  deference,  and  even  lauded  to 
the  skies  because  their  riches  are  very  great ; when 
this  is  the  case,  I say,  we  need  not  wonder  if  men 
are  ashamed  to  be  thought  poor.  But  this  is  one 
of  the  greatest  dangers  which  young  people  have 
to  encounter  in  setting  out  in  life.  It  has  brought 
thousands  and  hundreds  of  thousands  to  pecuniary 
ruin. 

One  of , the  most  amiable  features  of  good  repub- 
lican society  is  this ; that  men  seldom  boast  of  their 
riches,  or  disguise  their  poverty,  but  speak  of  both, 
as  of  any  other  matters  that  are  proper  for  conver- 
sation. No  man  shuns  another  because  he  is  poor; 
no  man  is  preferred  to  another  because  he  is  rich. 
In  hundreds  and  hundreds  of  instances  have  men 
in  this  country,  not  worth  a shilling,  been  chosen 
by  the  people  to  take  care  of  their  rights  and  inter- 
ests, in  preference  to  men  who  ride  in  their  car- 
riages. 

The  shame  of  being  thought  poor  leads  to  ever- 
lasting efforts  to  disguise  one’s  poverty.  The  car- 
riage— the  domestics  — the  wine  — the  spirits  — 
the  decanters  — the  glass;  — all  the  table  apparatus, 
the  horses,  the  dresses,  the  dimiers,  and  the  parties, 


FEAR  OF  POVERTY.  147 

Fear  of  poverty  produces  it.  Keeping  up  appearances. 

imist  be  kept  up ; not  so  much  because  he  or  she 
who  keeps  or  gives  them  has  any  pleasure  arising 
therefrom,  as  because  not  to  keep  and  give  them, 
would  give  rise  to  a suspicion  of  a want  of  means. 
And  thus  thousands  upon  thousands  are  yearly 
brought  into  a state  of  real  poverty,  merely  by  their 
great  anxiety  not  to  be  thought  poor.  Look  around 
you  carefully,  and  see  if  this  is  not  so. 

In  how  many  instances  have  you  seen  amiable 
and  industrious  families  brought  to  ruin  by  nothing 
else  but  the  fear  they  should  be.^  Resolve,  then, 
from  the  fii*st,  to  set  this  false  shame  at  defiance. 
When  you  have  done  that,  effectually,  you  have 
laid  the  corner-stone  of  mental  tranquillity. 

There  are  thousands  of  families  at  this  very  mo- 
ment, struggling  to  keep  up  appearances.  They 
feel  that  it  makes  them  miserable ; but  you  can  no 
more  induce  them  to  change  their  course,  than  you 
can  put  a stop  to  the  miser’s  laying  up  gold. 

Farmers  accommodate  themselves  to  their  con- 
dition more  easily  than  merchants,  mechanics,  and 
professional  men.  They  live  at  a greater  distance 
from  their  neighbors ; they  can  change  their  style 
of  living  without  being  perceived;  they  can  pul 
away  the  decanter,  change  the  china  for  something 
plain,  and  the  world  is  none  the  wiser  for  it.  But 
the  mechanic,  the  doctor,  the  attorney,  and  the  tra- 
der cannot  make  the  change  so  quietly  and  unseen. 

Stimulating  drink,  which  is  a sort  of  criterion  of 
the  scale  of  living,  — (or  scale  to  the  plan,)  — a 


148  THE  YOUNG  MAn’s  GUIDE. 

Drinking  water  not  genteel.  Fear  of  being  thought  stingy. 

sort  of  key  to  the  time ; — this  is  the  thing  to  banish 
first  of  all,  because  all  the  rest  follow;  and  in  a 
shoit  time,  come  down  to  their  proper  level. 

Am  1 asked,  what  is  a glass  of  wine  ? 1 answer, 
it  is  every  thing.  It  creates  a demand  for  all  the 
other  unnecessary  expenses ; it  is  injurious  to  health, 
and  must  be  so.  Every  bottle  of  wine  that  is  drank 
contains  a portion  of  spirit^  to  say  nothing  of  other 
drugs  still  more  poisonous  ; and  of  all  friends  to  the 
doctors,  alcoholic  drinks  are  the  greatest.  It  is 
nearly  the  same,  however,  with  strong  tea  and 
coffee.  But  what  adds  to  the  folly  and  wickedness 
of  using  these  drinks,  the  parties  themselves  do  not 
always  drink  them  by  choice ; and  hardly  ever  be- 
cause they  believe  they  are  useful ; — but  from 
mere  ostentation,  ot  the  fear  of  being  thought  either 
rigid  or  stingy.  At  this  very  moment,  thousands 
of  families  daily  use  some  half  a dozen  drinks,  be- 
sides the  best,  because  if  they  drank  water  only, 
they  might  not  be  regarded  as  genteel ; or  might  be 
suspected  of  poverty.  And  thus  they  waste  their 
property  and  their  health. 

Poverty  frequently  arises  from  the  veiy  virtues 
of  the  impoverished  parties.  Not  so  frequently,  I 
admit,  as  from  vice,  folly,  and  indiscretion ; but 
still  very  frequently.  And  as  it  is  according  to 
scripture  not  to  ‘despise  the  poor,  because  he  is 
poor,’  so  we  ought  not  to  honor  the  rich  merely 
because  he  is  rich.  The  true  way  is  to  take  a fair 
iVirvey  of  the  character  of  a man  as  exhibited  in 


FEAR  OP  POVERTY.  149 

Causes  of  suicide.  These  are  various.  Folly  of  this  crime. 


his  conduct;  and  to  respect  him,  or  otherwise, 
according  to  a due  estimate  of  that  character. 

Few  countries  exhibit  more  of  those  fatal  termi- 
nations of  life,  called  suicides,  than  this*  Many  of 
these  unnatural  crimes  arise  from  an  unreasonable 
estimate  of  the  evils  of  poverty.  Their  victims,  it 
is  true,  may  be  called  insane ; but  their  insanity 
almost  always  arises  from  the  dread  of  poverty. 
Not,  indeed,  from  the  dread  of  the  want  of  means 
for  sustaining  life,  or  even  decent  living ; but  from 
the  dread  of  being  thought  or  known  to  be  poor ; — 
from  the  dread  of  what  is  called  falling  in  the  scale 
of  society.* 

Viewed  in  its  true  light,  what  is  there  in  poverty 
that  can  tempt  a man  to  take  away  his  own  life  ? 
He  is  the  same  man  that  he  was  before  ; he  has  the 
same  body  and  the  same  mind.  Suppose  he  can 
foresee  an  alteration  in  his  dress  or  his  diet,  should 
he  kill  himself  on  that  account?  Are  these  all  the 
things  that  a man  wishes  to  live  fbr  ? 

* I should  be  sorry  to  be  understood  as  affirming  that  a 
majority  of  suicidal  acts  are  the  result  of  intemperance ; — 
hy  no  means.  My  own  opinion  is,  that  if  there  be  a single 
vice  more  fruitful  of  this  horrid  crime  than  any  other,  it  is 
»ross  sensuality.  The  records  of  insane  hospitals,  even  in 
ahis  country  will  show,  that  this  is  not  mere  conjecture.  Ai^ 
it  happens,  however,  that  the  latter  vice  is  usually  accompa- 
nied by  intemperance  in  eating  and  drinking,  by  gambling, 
&c.,  the  blame  is  commonly  thrown,  not  on  the  principal 
agent  concerned  in  ilie  crime,  but  on  the  accomplicea« 

13* 


150  THE  YOUNG  MAN'S  GUIDE. 

St.  Paul’s  advice.  Early  fondness  for  speculation. 

I do  not  deny  that  we  ought  to  take  care  of  our 
rneans,  use  tliem  prudently  and  sparingly,  and  keep 
our  expenses  always  within  the  limits  of  our  in- 
come, be  that  what  it  may.  One  of  the  effectual 
means  of  doing  this,  is  to  purchase  with  ready 
money.  On  this  point,  I have  already  remarked 
at  length,  and  will  only  repeat  here  the  injunction 
of  St.  Paul ; ‘ Owe  no  man  any  thing ; ’ although 
the  fashion  of  the  whole  world  should  be  against 
you. 

Should  you  regard  the  advice  of  this  section,  the 
counsels  of  the  next  will  be  of  less  consequence ; 
for  you  will  have  removed  one  of  the  strongest 
inducements  to  speculation,  as  well  as  to  overtrad- 
ing 


Section  XVI.  On  Speculation, 

Young  men  are  apt  to  be  fond  of  speculation. 
This  propensity  is  very  early  developed  — first  in 
the  family  — and  afterwards  at  the  school.  By 
speculation^  I mean  the  purchasing  of  something 
which  you  do  not  want  for  use,  solely  with  a view 
to  sell  it  again  at  a large  profit ; but  on  the  sale  of 
which  there  is  a hazaixl. 

When  purchases  of  this  sort  are  made  with  the 
person’s  own  cash,  they  are  not  so  unreasonable, 
but  when  they  are  made  by  one  who  is  deeply  in- 
debted to  his  fellow  beings,  or  with  money  bor- 
rowed for  the  puipose,  it  is  not  a whit  better  than 


ON  SPECULATION.  151 

Speculation  a sort  of  gambling.  Its  evils.  A ccmmon  mistake. 


gambling,  let  the  practice  be  defended  by  whom  it 
may : and  has  been  in  every  country,  especially  in 
this,  a fruitful  source  of  poverty,  misery,  and  sui- 
cide. Grant  that  this  species  of  gambling  has 
arisen  from  the  facility  of  obtaining  the  fictitious 
means  of  making  the  purchase,  still  it  is  not  the 
less  necessary  that  I beseech  you  not  to  practise  it, 
and  if  engaged  in  it  already,  to  disentangle  yourself 
as  soon  as  you  can.  Your  life,  while  thus  ^n^aged, 
is  that  of  a gamester  — call  it  by  what  ?!noother 
name  you  may.  It  is  a life  of  constant  anxiety, 
desire  to  overreach,  and  general  gloom ; enlivened 
now  and  then,  by  a gleam  of  hope  or  of  success. 
Even  that  success  is  sure  to  lead  to  farther  adven- 
tures ; till  at  last,  a thousand  to  one,  that  your  fate 
is  that  of  ‘ the  pitcher  to  the  well.’ 

The  great  temptation  to  this,  as  well  as  to  every 
other  species  of  gambling,  is,  the  success  of  the  few. 
As  young  men,  who  crowd  to  the  army  in  search 
of  rank  and  renown,  never  look  into  the  ditch  that 
holds  their  slaughtered  companions,  but  have  their 
eye  constantly  fixed  on  the  commander-in-chief; 
and  as  each  of  them  belongs  to  the  same  profession^ 
and  is  sure  to  be  conscious  that  he  has  equal  merit, 
every  one  dreams  himself  the  suitable  successor  of 
him  ^vho  is  surrounded  with  aides-de-camp,  and 
who  moves  battalions  and  columns  by  his  nod ; — ■ 
so  with  the  rising  generation  of  ‘ speculators.’  They 
see  those  v*^hom  they  suppose  nature  and  good  laws 
made  to  black  shoes,  or  sweep  chimneys  or  streets. 


152  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Avoid  the  law.  Litigiousness  a contagious  disease. 


rolling  ill  carriages,  or  sitting  in  palaces,  surround- 
ed by  servants  or  slaves ; and  they  can  see  no  earthly 
reason  ivhy  they  should  not  all  do  the  same.  They 
forget  the  thousands,  and  tens  of  thousands,  who  in 
making  the  attempt,  have  reduced  themselves  to 
beggary. 


Section  XVII.  On  Lawsuits, 

In  every  situation  in  life,  avoid  the  law.  Man’s 
nature  must  be  changed,  perhaps,  before  lawsuits 
will  entirely  cease ; and  yet  it  is  in  the  power  of 
most  men  to  avoid  them,  in  a considerable  degree. 

One  excellent  rule  is,  to  have  as  little  as  possible 
to  do  with  those  w^ho  are  fond  of  litigation;  and 
who,  upon  every  slight  occasion,  talk  of  an  appeal  to 
the  law.  This  may  be  called  a disease ; and,  like 
many  other  diseases,  it  is  contagious.  Besides,  these 
persons,  from  their  frequent  litigations,  contract  a 
habit  of  using  the  technical  terms  of  the  courts,  in 
which  they  take  a pride,  and  are  therefore,  as  com- 
panions, peculiarly  disgusting  to  men  of  sense. 
To  such  beings  a lawsuit  is  a luxury,  instead  of 
being  regarded  as  a source  of  anxiety,  and  a real 
scourge.  Such  men  are  always  of  a quarrelsome 
disposition,  and  avail  themselves  of  every  opportu- 
nity to  indulge  in  that  which  is  mischievous  to  their 
neighbors. 

In  thousands  of  instances,  men  go  to  law  for  the 
indulgence  of  mere  anger.  The  Germans  are  s<tid 


ON  LAWSUITS. 


153 

Anecdotes. 


Spite-actions.  Notliing  gained  by  lawsiits. 

to  bring  spite-actions  against  one  another,  and  to 
harass  then*  poorer  neighbors  from  motives  of  pure 
revenge.  But  I hope  this  is  a mistake ; for  I am 
unwilling  to  think  so  ill  of  that  intelligent  nation. 

Before  you  decide  to  go  td  1^,  consider  well 
the  cost,  for  if  you  win  your  suit  and  are  poorer 
than  you  were  before,  what  do  you  gain  by  it  ? You 
only  imbibe  a little  additional  anger  against  your 
opponent;  you  injure  him,  but  at  the  same  time,  in- 
jure yourself  more.  Better  to  put  up  with  the  loss 
of  one  dollar  than  of  two ; to  which  is  to  be  added, 
all  the  loss  of  time,  all  the  trouble,  and  all  the  mor- 
tification and  anxiety  attending  a lawsuit.  To  set 
an  attorney  at  work  to  worry  and  torment  another 
man,  and  alarm  his  family  as  well  as  himself,  while 
you  are  sitting  quietly  at  home,  is  baseness.  If  a 
man  owe  you  money  which  he  cannot  pay,  why 
add  to  his  distress,  without  even  the  chance  of  be- 
nefiting yourself.^  Thousands  have  injured  them- 
selves by  resorting  to  the  law,  while  very  few,  in- 
deed, ever  bettered  their  condition  by  it. 

Nearly  a million  of  dollars  was  once  expended 
in  England,  during  the  progress  of  a single  lawsuit 
Those  who  brought  the  suit  expended  $ 444,000  to 
carry  it  through  ; and  the  opposite  party  was  ac- 
quitted, and  only  sentenced  to  pay  the  cost  of  pros- 
ecution, amounting  to  $318,754.  Another  was 
sustained  in  court  fifty  years,  at  an  enormous  ex- 
pense. In  Meadville,  in  Pennsylvania,  a petty  law 
case  occurred  in  which  the  damages  recoverec] 


154  THE  T0HN6  MAn’§  GUIDE. 

More  anecdotes  on  the  same  subject.  Litigiousness  hereditary. 


were  only  ten  dollars,  while  the  costs  of  court  were 
one  hundred.  In  one  of  the  New  England  States, 
a lawsuit  occurred,  which  could  not  have  cost  the 
parties  less  than  $1000  each ; and  yet  after  all  this 
expense,  they  mutually  agreed  to  take  the  matter 
out  of  court,  and  suffer  it  to  end  where  it  was. 
Probably  it  was  the  wisest  course  they  could  possi- 
bly have  taken.  It  is  also  stated  that  a quarrel 
occurred  between  two  persons  in  Middlebury,  Ver- 
mont, a few  years  since,  about  six  eggs,  which  was 
carried  from  one  court  to  another,  till  it  cost  the 
parties  $ 4,000. 

I am  well  acquainted  with  a gentleman  wno  was 
once  engaged  in  a lawsuit,  (than  which  none  per- 
haps, was  ever  more  just)  where  his  claim  was  one 
to  two  thousand  dollars;  but  it  fell  into  such  a 
train  that  a final  decision  could  not  have  been  ex- 
pected in  many  months ; — perhaps  not  in  years. 
The  gentleman  was  unwilling  to  be  detained  and 
pei*plexed  with  waiting  for  a trial,  and  he  accord- 
ingly paid  the  whole  amount  of  costs  to  that  time, 
amounting  to  $ 150,  went  about  his  business,  and 
believes,  to  this  hour,  that  it  was  the  wisest  course 
he  could  have  pursued. 

A spirit  of  litigation  often  disturbs  the  peace  of 
a whole  neighborhood,  perpetually,  for  several  gen- 
erations; and  the  hostile  feeling  thus  engendered 
seems  to  be  transmitted,  like  the  color  of  the  eyes 
or  the  hair,  from  father  to  son.  Indeed  it  not  un- 
frequently  happens,  that  a lawsuit  in  a neighbor- 


ON  LAWSUITS.  155 

Arbitration.  First  steps  to  the  law.  Tarring  and  feathering!. 


hood,  a society,  or  even  a church,  awakens  feelings 
of  discord,  which  never  tenninate,  but  at  the  death 
of  the  parties  concerned. 

How  ought  young  men,  then,  to  avoid,  as  they 
would  a pestilence,  this  fiend-like  spirit!  How 
ought  they  to  labor  to  settle  all  disputes  — should 
disputes  unfortunately  arise,  — without  this  tremen- 
dous resort  I On  the  strength  of  much  observation, 
— not  experience,  for  I have  been  saved  the  pain 
of  learning  in  that  painful  school,  on  this  subject,  — I 
do  not  hesitate  to  recommend  the  settlement  of  such 
difficulties  by  arbitration. 

One  thing  however  should  be  remembered. 
Would  you  dry  up  the  river  of  discord,  you  must 
first  exhaust  the  fountains  and  rills  which  form  it. 
The  moment  you  indulge  one  impassioned  or  an- 
gry feeling  against  your  fellow  being,  you  have 
taken  a step  in  the  high  road  which  leads  to  liti- 
gation, war  and  murder.  Thus  it  is,  as  I have 
already  told  you,  that ‘He  that  hateth  his  brother 
is  a murderer.’ 

1 have  heard  a father  — for  he  hath  the  name  of 
parent,  though  he  little  deserved  it  — gravely  con- 
tend that  there  was  no  such  thing  as  avoiding 
quarrels  and  law^suits.  He  thought  there  was  one 
thing,  however,  which  might  prevent  them,  which 
was  to  take  the  litigious  individual  and  ‘tar  and 
feather’  him  without  ceremony.  How  often  is  it 
true  that  mankind  little  know  ‘what  manner  of 
spirit  they  are  of;’  and  to  how  many  of  us  will 
this  striking  reproof  of  the  Saviour  apply ! 


156  tHE  YOTJNG  man’s  GUIDE. 

Getting  a ‘ good  bargain.’  The  Mohammedans.  Lesson  from  them. 


Multitudes  of  men  have  been  in  active  business 
during  a long  life,  and  yet  avoided  every  thing  in 
the  shape  of  a lawsuit.  ‘ What  man  has  done,  man 
may  do ; ’ in  this  respect,  at  the  least. 

Section  XVIIL  On  Hard  Dealing* 

Few  things  are  more  common  among  business- 
doing men,  than  hard  dealing;  yet  few  things  re- 
flect more  dishonor  on  a Christian  community.  It 
seems,  in  general,  to  be  regarded  as  morally  right, 
in  defiance  of  all  rules,  whether  golden  or  not,  — 
to  get  as  ‘ good  a bargain  ’ in  trade,  as  possible ; 
and  this  is  defended  as  unavoidable,  on  account  of 
the  state  of  society ! But  what  produced  this  state  of 
society  ? Was  it  not  the  spirit  of  avarice  ? What 
will  change  it  for  the  better?  Nothing  but  the  re- 
nunciation of  this  spirit,  and  a willingness  to  sacri- 
fice, in  this  respect,  for  the  public  welfare. 

We  are  pagans  in  this  matter,  in  spite  of  our  pro- 
fessions. It  would  be  profitable  for  us  to  take  les- 
sons on  this  subject  from  the  Mohammedans.  They 
never  have,  it  is  said,  but  one  price  for  an  article ; 
and  to  ask  the  meanest  shopkeeper  to  lower  his 
price,  is  to  insult  him.  Would  this  were  the  only 
point,  in  which  the  Christian  community  are  des- 
tined yet  to  learn  even  from  Mohammedans. 

To  ask  one  price  and  take  another,  or  to  offer 
one  price  and  give  another,  besides  being  a loss  of 
time,  is  highly  dishonorable  to  the  parties.  It  is, 


ON  HARD  DEALING.  157 

One  species  of  lying.  On  evils  correcting  themselves. 

in  fact,  a species  of  lying ; and  it  answers  no  one 
advantageous  purpose,  either  to  the  buyer  or  seller. 
I hope  that  every  young  man  will  start  in  life  with 
a resolution  never  to  be  hard  in  his  dealings, 

‘It  is  an  evil  which  will  correct  itself;’  say 
those  who  wish  to  avail  themselves  of  its  present 
advantages  a little  longer.  But  when  and  where 
did  a general  evil  correct  itself?  When  or  where 
was  an  erroneous  practice  permanently  removed, 
except  by  a change  of  public  sentiment?  And 
what  has  ever  produced  a change  in  the  public  sen- 
timent but  the  determination  of  individuals,  or  their 
combined  action  ? 

While  on  this  topic,  I will  hazard  the  assertion— 
even  at  the  risk  of  its  being  thought  misplaced— 
that  great  effects  are  yet  to  be  produced  on  public 
opinion,  in  this  country,  by  associations  of  spirited 
and  intelligent  young  men.  I am  not  now  speaking 
of  associations  for  political  purposes,  though  I am 
not  sure  that  even  these  might  not  be  usefully  con- 
ducted ; but  of  associations  for  mutual  improvement, 
and  for  the  correction  and  elevation  of  the  public 
morals.  The  “Boston  Young  Men’s  Society,” 
afford  a specimen  of  what  maybe  done  in  this  way; 
and  numerous  associations  of  the  kind  have  sprung 
up  and  are  springing  up  in  various  parts  of  the 
country.  Judiciously  managed,  they  must  inevit- 
ably do  great  good  ; — though  it  should  not  be  for- 
gotten that  they  ma?/ also  be  productive  of  immense 
evil. 


14 


CHAPTER  HI. 


©n  Amusements  anu  Kntiulaences* 


Section  I.  On  Gaming, 

. Even  Voltaire  asserts  that  ‘every  gambler 
has  been,  or  will  be  a robber.’  Few  practices  are 
more  ancient,  few  more  general,  and  few,  if  any, 
more  pernicious  than  gaming.  An  English  writer 
has  ingeniously  suggested  that  the  Devil  himself 
might  have  been  the  first  player,  and  that  he  con- 
trived the  plan  of  introducing  games  among  men, 
to  afford  them  temporary  amusement,  and  divert 
their  attention  from  themselves.  ‘What  number- 
less disciples,’  he  adds,  ‘ of  his  sable  majesty,  might 
we  not  count  in  our  own  metropolis ! ’ 

Whether  his  satanic  majesty  has  any  very  direct 
agency  in  this  matter  or  not,  one  thing  is  certain  ; — 
gaming  is  opposed  to  the  happiness  of  mankind, 
and  ought,  in  every  civilized  country,  to  be  sup- 
pressed by  public  opinion.  By  gaming,  however,  I 
here  refer  to  those  cases  only  in  which  property  is 
at  stake,  to  be  won  or  lost.  The  subject  of  diver- 
sions will  be  considered  in  another  place. 

Gaining  is  an  evil,  because,  in  the  first  place,  it  is 


ON  GAMING. 


159 

Evils  of  gaming. 


Gamesters  are  not  producers. 

a practice  which  produces  nothing.  He  who  makes 
two  blades  of  grass  grow  where  but  one  grew  be- 
fore, has  usually  been  admitted  to  be  a public 
benefactor;  for  he  is  a producer.  So  is  he  who 
combines  or  arranges  these  productions  in  a useful 
manner, — I mean  the  mechanic,  manufacturer,  &c. 
He  is  equally  a public  benefactor,  too,  who  pro- 
duces mental  or  moral  wealth,  as  well  as  physical. 
In  gaming,  it  is  true,  property  is  shifted  from  one 
individual  to  another,  and  here  and  there  one 
probably  gains  more  than  he  loses ; but  nothing  is 
actually  made,  or  produced.  If  the  whole  human 
family  were  all  skilful  gamesters,  and  should  play 
constantly  for  a year,  there  would  not  be  a dollar 
more  in  the  world  at  the  end  of  the  year,  than 
there  was  at  its  commencement.  On  the  contrary,  is 
it  not  obvious  that  there  would  be  much  less,  besides 
even  an  immense  loss  of  time  ? * 

But,  secondly,  gaming  favoi-s  corruption  of  man- 
ners. It  is  difficult  to  trace  the  progress  of  the 
gamester’s  mind,  from  the  time  he  commences  his 
downw’ard  course,  but  we  know  too  well  the  goal 
at  which  he  is  destined  to  arrive.  There  may  be 
exceptions,  but  not  many ; generally  speaking, 

* Every  man  who  enjoys  the  privileges  of  civilized 
society,  owes  it  to  that  society  to  earn  as  much  as  he  can; 
or,  in  other  words,  improve  every  minute  of  his  time.  He 
who  loses  an  hour,  or  a minute,  is  the  price  of  that  hour 
debtor  to  the  community.  Moreover,  it  is  a debt  which  he 
can  never  repay. 


160  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Gaming  opposed  to  industry.  The  philosophers,  Locke’s  opinion. 


every  gamester,  sooner  or  later  travels  the  road  to 
perdition,  and  often  adds  to  his  ovyn  wo,  by  drag- 
ging others  along  with  him. 

Thirdly,  it  discourages  industry.  He  who  is  ac- 
customed to  receive  large  sums  at  once,  which  bear 
no  sort  of  proportion  to  the  labor  by  which  they  are 
obtained,  will  gradually  come  to  regard  the  moderate 
but  constant  and  certain  rewards  of  industrious 
exertion  as  insipid.  He  is  also  in  danger  of  falling 
into  the  habit  of  paying  an  undue  regard  to  hazard 
or  chance,  and  of  becoming  devoted  to  the  doctrine 
of  fatality. 

As  to  the  few  who  are  skilful  enough  to  gain 
more,  on  the  whole,  than  they  lose,  scarcely  one 
of  them  paj^s  any  regard  to  prudence  or  economy 
in  his  expenditures.  What  is  thus  lightly  acquired, 
is  lightly  disposed  of.  Or  if,  in  one  instance  in  a 
thousand,  it  happens  otherwise,  the  result  is  still 
unfavorable.  It  is  but  to  make  the  miser  still  more 
a miser,  and  the  covetous  only  the  more  so.  Man  is 
so  constituted  as  to  be  unable  to  bear,  with  safety,  a 
rapid  accumulation  of  property.  To  the  truth  of 
this,  all  history  attests,  whether  ancient  or  modern, 
sacred  or  profane. 

The  famous  philosopher  Locke,  in  his  ‘Thoughts 
on  Education,’  thus  observes : ‘ It  is  certain,  gam- 
ing leaves  no  satisfaction  behind  it  to  those  who 
reflect  when  it  is  over ; and  it  no  way  profits  either 
body  or  mind.  As  to  their  estates,  if  it  strike  so 
deep  as  to  concern  them,  it  is  a trade  then,  and  not 


ON  GAMrNG.  161 

ci^iminality  of  gaming.  A voice  of  experience.  The  army. 


a recreation,  wherein  few  thrive ; and  at  best  a 
thriving  gamester  has  but  a poor  trade  of  it,  who 
fills  his  pockets  at  the  price  of  his  reputation.’ 

In  regard  to  the  criminality  of  the  practice,  a 
late  writer  has  the  following  striking  remarks. 

‘As  to  gaming,  it  is  always  criminal,  either  in 
itself  or  in  its  tendency.  The  basis  of  it  is  covet- 
ousness; a desire  to  take  from  others  something 
for  which  you  have  neither  given,  nor  intend  to 
give  an  equivalent.  No  gambler  was  ever  yet  a 
happy  man,  and  few  gamblers  have  escaped  being 
positively  miserable.  Remember,  too,  that  to  game 
for  nothing  is  still  gaming ; and  naturally  leads  to 
gaming  for  something.  It  is  sacrificing  time,  and 
that,  too,  for  the  worst  of  purposes. 

‘I  have  kept  house  for  nearly  forty  years;  I 
have  reared  a family ; I have  entertained  as  many 
friends  as  most  people;  and  I never  had  cards, 
dice,  a chess  board,  nor  any  implement  of  gaming 
under  my  roof.  The  hours  that  young  men  spend 
in  this  way,  are  hours  murdered;  precious  hours 
that  ought  to  be  spent  either  in  reading  or  in  writ- 
ing; or  in  rest;  preparatory  to  the  duties  of  the 
dawn. 

‘Though  I do  not  agree  with  those  base  flat- 
terers who  declare  the  army  to  be  the  best  school 
for  statesmen,  it  is  certainly  a school  hi  which  we 
learn,  experimentally,  many  useful  lessons ; and  in 
this  school  I learned  that  men  fond  of  gaming,  are 
rarely,  if  ever,  trust-worthy.  I have  known  many 
14* 


162  THE  YOUNG  MAn’s  GUIDE. 

Mistake  of  professing  Christians.  Evil  tendency  of  this  viceT 

a decent  man  rejected  in  the  way  of  promotion, 
only  because  he  was  addicted  to  gaming.  Men,  in 
that  state  of  life,  cannot  ruin  themselves  by  gam- 
ing, for  they  possess  no  fortune,  nor  money;  but 
the  taste  for  gaming  is  always  regarded  as  an  in- 
dication of  a radicall}'-  bad  disposition ; and  I can 
truly  say  that  I never  in  my  whole  life  — and  it 
has  been  a long  and  eventful  one  — knew  a man 
fond  of  gaming,  who  was  not,  in  some  way  or  other, 
unworthy  of  confidence.  This  vice  creeps  on  by 
very  slow  degrees,  till,  at  last,  it  becomes  an  un- 
governable passion,  swallowing  up  every  good  and 
kind  feeling  of  the  heart.’ 

For  my  own  part  I know  not  the  names  of  cards ; 
and  could  never  take  interest  enough  in  card-play- 
ing to  remember  them.  I have  always  wondered 
how  sober  and  intelligent  people,  who  have  con- 
sciences, and  believe  the  doctrine  of  accountability 
to  God  — how  professing  Christians  even,  as  is  the 
case  in  some  parts  of  this  country,  can  sit  whole 
evenings  at  cards.  Why,  what  notions  have  they 
of  the”  value  of  time  ? Can  they  conceive  of  Him, 
whose  example  we  are  bound  to  follow,  as  engaged 
in  this  way  ? The  thought  should  shock  us ! What 
a Herculean  task  Christianity  has  yet  to  accom- 
plish ! 

The  excess  of  this  vice  has  caused  even  the 
overthrow  of  empires.  It  leads  to  conspiracies, 
and  creates  conspirators.  Men  overwhelmed  with 
debt,  are  always  ready  to  obey  the  orders  of  any 


ON  GAMING. 


163 


Examples  from  history.  Rome.  France.  England. 

bold  chieftain  who  may  attempt  a decisive  stroke, 
even  against  government  itself.  Catiline  had  very 
soon  under  his  command  an  army  of  scoundrels. 
< Every  man,’  says  Sallust,  ‘who  by  his  follies  or 
losses  at  the  gaming  table  had  consumed  the  in- 
heritance of  his  fathers,  and  all  who  were  suffer- 
ers by  such  misery,  were  the  friends  of  this  per- 
verse man.’ 

Perhaps  this  vice  has  nowhere  been  carried  to 
greater  excess  than  in  France.  There  it  has  its 
administration,  its  chief,  its  stockholders,  its  offi- 
cers, and  its  priests.  It  has  its  domestics,  its 
pimps,  its  spies,  its  informers,  its  assassins,  its  bul- 
lies, its  aiders,  its  abettors,  — in  fact,  its  scoundrels 
of  every  description  ; particularly  its  hireling  swind- 
lers, who  are  paid  for  decoying  the  unwary  into 
this  ‘ hell  upon  earth,’  so  odious  to  morality,  and  so 
destructive  to  virtue  and  Christianity. 

In  England,  this  vice  has  at  all  times  been  look- 
ed upon  as  one  of  pernicious  consequence  to  the 
commonwealth,  and  has,  therefore,  long  been  pro- 
hibited. The  money  lost  in  this  way,  is  even  re- 
coverable again  by  law.  Some  of  the  laws  on  this 
subject  were  enacted  as  early  as  the  time  of  Queen 
Anne,  and  not  a few  of  the  penalties  are  very 
severe.  Every  species  of  gambling  is  strictly  for- 
bidden in  the  British  army,  and  occasionally  pun- 
ished with  great  severity,  by  order  of  the  comman- 
der in  chief.  These  facts  show  the  state  of  public 


164  THE  YOUNG  MAN’S  GUIDE. 

Alarming  facts.  The  alms-house  and  prison.  Anecdote. 

opinion  in  that  country,  in  regard  to  the  evil  ten- 
dency of  this  practice. 

Men  of  immense  wealth  have,  in  some  instances, 
entered  gambling  houses,  and  in  the  short  space  of 
an  hour  have  found  themselves  reduced  to  abso- 
lute beggary.  ‘Such  men  often  lose  not  only  what 
their  purses  or  their  bankers  can  supply,  but 
houses,  lands,  equipage,  jewels;  in  fine,  every 
thing  of  which  they  call  themselves  masters,  even 
to  their  very  clothes ; then  perhaps  a pistol  termi- 
nates their  mortal  career.’ 

Fifteen  hours  a day  are  devoted  by  many  infat- 
uated persons  in  some  countries  to  this  unhappy 
practice.  In  the  middle  of  the  day,  while  the  wife 
directs  with  prudence  and  economy  tlie  adminis- 
tration of  her  husband’s  house,  he  abandons  him- 
self to  become  the  prey  of  rapacious  midnight  and 
mid-day  robbers.  The  result  is,  that  he  contracts 
debts,  is  stripped  of  his  property,  and  his  wife  and 
children  are  sent  to  the  alms-house,  whilst  he,  per- 
haps, perishes  in  a prison. 

My  life  has  been  chiefly  spent  in  a situation 
where  comparatively  little  of  this  vice  prevails. 
Yet,  I have  known  one  individual  who  divided  his 
time  between  hunting  and  gaming.  About  four 
days  in  the  week  were  regularly  devoted  to  the 
latter  practice.  From  breakfast  to  dinner,  from 
dinner  to  tea,  from  tea  to  nine  o’clock,  this  was 
his  regular  employment,  and  was  pursued  inces- 


ON  GAMING. 


165 

A horrible  alliance* 


Night  usually  devoted  to  gaming. 

sandy.  The  man  was  about  seventy  years  of  age. 
He  did  not  play  for  very  large  sums,  it  is  true; 
seldom  more  than  five  to  twenty  dollars;  and  it 
was  his  uniform  practice  to  retire  precisely  at  nine 
o’clock,  and  without  supper. 

Generally,  however,  the  night  is  more  especially 
devoted  to  this  employment.  I have  occasionally 
been  at  public  houses,  or  on  board  vessels  where 
a company  was  playing,  and  have  known  many 
hundreds  of  dollars  lost  in  a single  night.  In  one 
instance,  the  most  horrid  midnight  oaths  and  blas- 
phemy were  indulged.  Besides,  there  is  an  almost 
du'ect  connection  between  the  gambling  table  and 
brothel ; and  the  one  is  seldom  long  unaccompa- 
nied by  the  other. 

Scarcely  less  obvious  and  direct  is  the  connec- 
tion between  this  vice  and  intemperance.  If  the 
drunkard  is  not  always  a gamester,  the  gamester  is 
almost  without  exception  intemperate.  There  is 
for  the  most  part  a union  of  the  three  — horrible  as 
the  alliance  may  be  — I mean  gambling,  intemper- 
ance, and  debauchery. 

There  is  even  a species  of  intoxication  attendant 
on  gambling.  Rede,  in  speaking  of  one  form  of 
this  vice  which  prevails  in  Europe,  says;  ‘ It  is,  in 
fact,  a PROMPT  murderer;  irregular  as  all  other 
games  of  hazard  — rapid  as  lightning  in  its  move- 
ments— its  strokes  succeed  each  other  with  an 
activity  that  redoubles  the  ardor  of  the  player’s 
Wood,  and  often  deprives  him  of  the  advantage  of 


166  THE  YOUNG  MAN  S GUIDE. 

One  form  of  slavery.  Burgh’s  opinion.  Avoid  the  first  steps. 


reflection.  In  fact,  a man  after  half  an  hour’s 
play,  who  for  the  whole  night  may  not  have  taken 
any  thing  stronger  than  water,  has  all  the  appear- 
ance of  drunkenness.’  And  who  has  not  seen  the 
flushed  cheek  and  the  red  eye,  produced  simply  by 
the  excitement  of  an  ordinary  gaming  table  ? 

It  is  an  additional  proof  of  the  evil  of  gaming 
that  every  person  devoted  to  it,  feels  it  to  be  an  evil. 
Why  then  does  he  not  refrain  ? Because  he  has 
sold  himself  a slave  to  the  deadly  habit,  as  effectu- 
ally as  the  drunkard  to  his  cups. 

Burgh,  in  his  Dignity  of  Human  Nature,  sums 
up  the  evils  of  this  practice  in  a single  paragraph : 

‘ Gaming  is  an  amusement  wholly  unworthy  of 
rational  beings,  having  neither  the  pretence  of  ex- 
ercising the  body,  of  exerting  ingenuity,  or  of 
giving  any  natural  pleasure,  and  owing  its  enter- 
tainment wholly  to  an  unnatural  and  vitiated  taste ; 
— the  cause  of  infinite  loss  of  time,  of  enormous 
destruction  of  money,  of  irritating  the  passions,  of 
stirring  up  avarice,  of  innumerable  sneaking  tricks 
and  frauds,  of  encouraging  idleness,  of  disgusting 
people  against  their  proper  employments,  and  of 
sinking  and  debasing  all  that  is  truly  great  and 
valuable  in  the  mind.’ 

Let  me  warn  you,  then,  my  young  readers, — 
nay,  more,  let  me  urge  you  never  to  enter  this 
dreadful  road.  Shun  it  as  you  would  the  road  to 
destruction.  Take  not  the  first  step,  — the  moment 
you  do,  all  may  be  lost.  Say  not  that  you  can 


ON  OAMING.  167 

Dr  Dwight’s  remarks.  Header  urged  to  reflect.  Montesquieu. 


command  yourselves,  and  can  stop  when  you  ap- 
proach the  confines  of  danger.  So  thousands  have 
thought  as  sincerely  as  yourselves  — and  yet  they 
fell.  ‘The  probabilities  that  we  shall  fall  where  so 
many  have  fallen,’  says  Dr.  Dwight,  ‘ are  millions 
to  one ; and  the  contrary  opinion  is  only  the  dream 
of  lunacy.’ 

When  you  are  inclined  to  think  yourselves  safe, 
consider  the  multitudes  who  once  felt  themselves 
equally  so,  have  been  corrupted,  distressed,  and 
ruined  by  gaming,  both  for  this  world,  and  that 
which  is  to  come.  Think  how  many  families  have 
been  plunged  by  it  in  beggaiy,  and  overwhelmed 
by  it  in  vice.  Think  how  many  persons  have  be- 
come liars  at  the  gaming  table;  how  many  per- 
jured ; how  many  drunkards ; how  many  blasphe- 
mers ; how  many  suicides.  ‘ If  Europe,’  said  Mon- 
tesquieu, ‘is  to  be  ruined,  it  will  be  ruined  by 
gaming.’  If  the  United  States  are  to  be  ruined, 
gaming  in  some  of  its  forms  will  be  a very  efficient 
agent  in  accomplishing  the  work. 

Some  of  the  most  common  games  practised  in 
this  country,  are  cards,  dice,  billiards,  shooting 
matches,  and  last,  though  not  leasts  lotteries.  Horse- 
racing and  cockfighting  are  still  in  use  in  some 
parts  of  the  United  States,  though  less  so  than  for- 
merly. In  addition  to  the  general  remarks  already 
made,  I now  proceed  to  notice  a few  of  the  par- 
ticular forms  of  this  vice. 


168  THE  YOUNG  man’s  GUIDE, 

Card  playing.  Its  enticing  nature.  Disgraceful  practice. 


1.  CARDS,  DICE,  AND  BILLIARDS. 

The  foregoing  remarks  will  be  applicable  to  each 
of  these  three  modes  of  gambling.  But  in  regard 
to  cards,  there  seems  to  be  something  peculiarly 
enticing.  It  is  on  this  account  that  youth  are  re- 
quired to  be  doubly  cautious  on  this  point.  So  be- 
witching were  cards  and  dice  regarded  in  England^ 
that  penalties  were  laid  on  those  who  should  be 
found  playing  with  them,  as  early  as  the  reign  of 
George  II.  Card  playing,  however,  still  prevails 
in  Europe,  and  to  a considerable  extent  in  the 
United  States.  There  is  a very  common  impres- 
sion abroad,  that  the  mere  playing  at  cards  is  in 
itself  innocent : that  the  danger  consists  in  the  ten- 
dency to  excess;  and  against  excess  most  people 
imagine  themselves  sufficiently  secure.  But  as  ‘ the 
best  throw  at  dice,  is  to  throw  them  away,’  so  the 
best  move  with  cards  would  be,  to  commit  them  to 
the  flames. 


2.  SHOOTING  MATCHES. 

This  is  a disgraceful  practice,  which  was  former- 
ly in  extensive  use  in  these  States  at  particular 
seasons,  especially  on  the  day  preceding  the  annual 
Thanksgiving.  I am  sorry  to  say,  that  there  are 
places  where  it  prevails,  even  now.  Numbers  who 
have  nothing  better  to  do,  collect- together,  near 
some  tavern  or  grog-shop,  for  the  sole  pui*pose  of. 


SHOOTING  MATCHES.  169 

Cruelty  of  shooting  matches.  They  lead  to  many  other  evils. 


tiyilig  theii*  skill  at  shooting  fowls.  Tied  to  a 
stake  at  a short  distance,  a poor  innocent  and  help- 
less fowl  is  set  as  a mark  to  furnish  sport  for  idle 
men  and  boys. 

Could  the  creature  be  put  out  of  its  misery  by 
the  first  discharge  of  the  musket,  the  evil  would 
not  appear  so  great.  But  this  is  seldom  the  case. 
Several  discharges  are  usually  made,  and  between 
each,  a running,  shouting  and  jumping  of  the  com- 
pany takes  place,  not  unfrequently  mingled  with 
oaths  and  curses. 

The  object  of  this  infeiTial  torture  being  at  length 
despatched,  and  suspended  on  the  muzzle  of  the 
gun  as  a trophy  of  victory,  a rush  is  made  to  the 
bar  or  counter,  and  brandy  and  rum,  accompanied 
by  lewd  stories,  and  perhaps  quarrelling  and  drunk- 
enness, often  close  the  scene. 

It  rarely  fails  that  a number  of  children  are  as- 
sembled^ on  such  occasions,  who  listen  with  high 
glee  to  the  conversation,  whether  in  the  field  or  at 
the  inn.  If  it  be  the  grossest  profaneness,  or  the 
coarsest  obscenity,  they  will  sometimes  pride  them- 
selves in  imitating  it,  thinking  it  to  be  manly ; and  in 
a like  spirit  will  partake  of  the  glass,  and  thus  com- 
mence the  drunkard’s  career.  — This  practice  is 
conducted  somewhat  differently  in  different  places, 
but  not  essentially  so. 

It  is  much  to  the  credit  of  the  citizens  of  many 
parts  of  New  England  that  their  good  sense  will 
not,  any  longer,  tolerate  a practice  so  brutal,  and 
15 


170  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Substitute  for  the  fowl.  Racing  and  fighting.  Montaigne. 

scarcely  exceeded  in  this  respect  by  the  cock- 
fights in  other  parts  of  the  country.  As  a substi- 
tute for  this  practice  a circle  is  drawn  on  a board 
or  post,  of  a certain  size,  and  he  who  can  hit  with- 
in the  cii'cle,  gains  the  fowl.  This  is  still  a species 
of  gaming,  but  is  divested  of  much  of  the  ferocity 
and  brutality  of  the  former. 

3.  HORSERACING  AND  COCKFIGHTING. 

It  is  only  in  particular  sections  of  the  United 
States  that  public  opinion  tolerates  these  practices 
extensively.  A horserace,  in  New  England,  is  a 
very  rare  occurrence.  A cockfight,  few  among  us 
have  ever  witnessed.  Wherever  the  cruel  dispo- 
sition to  indulge  in  seeing  animals  fight  together 
is  allowed,  it  is  equally  degrading  to  human  na- 
ture with  that  fondness  which  is  manifested  in 
other  countries  for  witnessing  a bull  fight.  It  is 
indeed  the  same  disposition,  only  existing  in  a 
smaller  degree  in  the  former  case  than  in  the 
latter. 

Montaigne  thinks  it  a reflection  upon  human 
nature  itself  that  few  people  take  delight  in  seeing 
beasts  caress  and  play  together,  while  almost  every 
one  is  pleased  to  see  them  lacerate  and  worry  one 
another. 

Should  your  lot  be  cast  m a region  wdiere  any 
of  these  inhuman  practices  prevail,  let  it  be  your 
constant  and  firm  endeavor,  not  merely  to  keep 


ON  LOTTERIES.  171 

Disgraceful  scene  near  Philadelphia.  Another  kind  of  gambling. 


aloof  from  them  yourselves,  but  to  prevail  on  all 
those  over  whom  God  may  have  given  you  influ- 
ence, to  avoid  them  likewise.  To  enable  you  to 
face  the  public  opinion  when  a point  of  importance 
is  at  stake,  it  will  be  useful  to  consult  carefully  the 
first  chapter  of  this  work. 

I am  sorry  to  have  it  in  my  power  to  state  that  in 
the  year  1833  there  was  a bull  fight  four  miles 
southward  of  Philadelphia.  It  was  attended  by 
about  1500  persons ; mostly  of  the  very  lowest 
classes  from  the  city.  It  was  marked  by  many  of 
the  same  evils  which  attend  these  cruel  sports  in 
other  countries,  and  by  the  same  reckless  disregard 
of  mercy  towards  the  poor  brutes  who  suflered  in 
the  conflict.  It  is  to  be  hoped,  however,  for  the 
honor  of  human  nature,  that  the  good  sense  of  the 
community  will  not  permit  this  detestable  custom 
to  prevail. 

Section  II.  On  Lotteries. 

Lotteries  are  a species  of  gambling;  differing 
from  other  kinds  only  in  being  tolerated  either  by 
the  law  of  the  land,  or  by  that  of  public  opinion. 
The  proofs  of  this  assertion  are  innumerable.  Not 
only  young  men,  but  even  married  women  have^ 
in  some  instances,  become  so  addicted  to  ticket 
buying,  as  to  ruin  themselves  and  their  families. 

From  the  fact  that  efforts  have  lately  been  made 
in  several  of  the  most  influential  States  in  the 


172  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

JjOttery  system  public  gambling.  Flimsy  defence  of  it. 

Union  to  suppress  them,  it  might  seem  unnecessary, 
at  first  view,  to  mention  tliis  subject.  But  although 
the  letter  of  the  law  may  oppose  them,  there  is  a 
portion  of  our  citizens  w^ho  will  continue  to  buy 
tickets  clandestinely:  and  consequently  somebody 
will  continue  to  sell  them  in  the  same  manner. 
Penalties  will  not  suppress  them  at  once.  It  will 
be  many  years  before  the  evil  can  be  wholly  eradi- 
cated. The  flood  does  not  cease  at  the  moment 
when  the  windows  of  heaven  are  closed,  but  con- 
tinues, for  some  time,  its  ravages.  It  is  necessary, 
therefore,  that  the  young  should  guard  themselves 
against  the  temptations  which  they  hold  out. 

It  may  be  said  that  important  works,  such  as 
monuments,  and  churches,  have  been  completed  by 
means  of  lotteries.  I know  it  is  so.  But  the  pro- 
fits which  arise  from  the  sale  of  tickets  are  a tax 
upon  the  community,  and  generally  upon  the  poorer 
classes : or  rather  they  are  a species  of  swindling. 
That  good  is  sometimes  done  with  these  ill-gotten 
gains,  is  admitted ; but  money  procured  in  any 
other  unlawful,  immoral,  or  criminal  way,  could 
be  applied  to  build  bridges,  roads,  churches,  &c. 
Would  the  advantages  thus  secured,  however,  jus- 
tify an  unlawful  means  of  securing  them  ? Does 
the  end  sanctify  the  means  ? 

It  is  said,  too,  that  individuals,  as  well  as  asso- 
ciations, have  been,  in  a few  instances,  greatly 
aided  by  piaEes  in  lotteries.  Some  bankrupts  have 
paid  their  debts,  like  honest  men,  with  them.  This 


ON  LOTTERIES. 


173 

Estimates, 


Prizes  do  not  benefit  those  who  draw  them. 

they  might  do  with  stolen  money.  But  cases  of 
even  this  kind,  are  rare.  The  far  greater  part  of 
the  money  drawn  in  the  forih  of  prizes  in  lotteries^ 
only  makes  its  possessor  more  avaricious,  covetous^ 
or  oppressive  than  before.  Money  obtained  in  this 
manner  commonly  ruins  mind,  body,  or  estate; 
sometimes  all  three. 

Lottery  schemes  have  been  issued  in  the  single 
State  of  New  York,  in  twelve  years,  to  the  amount 
of  $ 37,000,000.  If  other  States  have  engaged  in  the 
business,  in  the  same  proportion  to  their  population, 
the  sum  of  all  the  schemes  issued  in  the  United 
States  within  that  time  has  been  $ 240,000,000.  A 
sum  sufficient  to  maintain  in  comfort,  if  not  afflu- 
ence, the  entire  population  of  some  of  the  smaller 
States  for  more  than  thirty  years. 

Now  what  has  been  gained  by  all  this?  It  is 
indeed  true,  that  the  discount  on  this  sum,  amount- 
ing to  $36,000,000,  has  been  expended  in  paying 
a set  of  men  for  one  species  of  labor.  If  we  sup- 
pose their  average  salary  to  have  been  $ 500,  no  less 
than  6,000  clerks,  managers,  &c.,  may  have  obtain- 
ed by  this  means,  a support  during  the  last  twelve 
years.  But  what  have  the  6,000  men  produced  all 
this  while  ? Has  not  their  whole  time  been  spent 
in  receiving  small  sums  (from  five  to  fifty  dollars) 
from  individuals,  putting  them  together,  as  it  were, 
in  a heap,  and  afterwards  distributing  a part  of  it 
in  sums,  with  a few  exceptions,  equally  small  — 
Have  they  added  one  dollar,  or  even  one  cent  to  the 
15*' 


174  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Effects  on  individuals.  On  the  community.  Their  evil  tendency. 


ol'iginal  stock  I have  already  admitted,  that  he 
who  makes  two  blades  of  grass  grow  where  only 
one  grew  before,  is  a benefactor  to  his  country; 
but  these  men  have  not  done  so  much  as  that. 

A few  draw  prizes,  it  has  been  admitted.  Some 
of  that  few  make  a good  use  of  them.  But  the 
vast  majority  are  injured.  They  either  become 
less  active  and  industrious,  or  more  parsimonious 
and  miserly;  and  not  a few  become  prodigals  or 
bankrupts  at  once.  In  any  of  these  events,  they 
are  of  course  unfitted  for  the  essential  pui*poses  of 
human  existence.  It  is  nbt  given  to  humanity  to 
hear  a sudden  acquisition  of  wealth.  The  best  of 
men  are  endangered  by  it.  As  in  knowledge,  so 
in  the  present  case,  what  is  gained  by  hard  dig- 
ging is  usually  retained ; and  what  is  gained  easily 
usually  goes  quickly.  There  is  this  difference, 
however,  that  the  moral  character  is  usually  lost 
with  the  one,  but  not  always  with  the  other. 

These  are  a part  of  the  evils  connected  with  lot- 
teries. To  compute  their  sum  total  would  be  im- 
possible. The  immense  waste  of  money  and  time 
(and  time  is  money)  by  those  persons  who  are  in 
the  habit  of  buying  tickets,  to  say  nothing  of  the 
cigars  smoked,  the  spirits,  wine,  and  ale  drank,  the 
suppers  eaten,  and  the  money  lost  at  cards,  while 
lounging  about  lottery  offices,  although  even  this 
constitutes  but  a part  of  the  waste,  is  absolutely  in^ 
calculable.  The  suffering  of  wives,  and  children, 
and  parents,  and  brothers,  and  sisters,  together  with 


ON  LOTTERIES.  175 

Appeal  to  the  young.  Influence  which  one  person  may  haveu 


that  loss  of  health,  and  temper,  and  reputation, 
which  is  either  directly  or  indirectly  connected, 
would  swell  the  sum  to  an  amount  sufficient  to 
alarm  every  one,  who  intends  to  be  an  honest,  in- 
dustrious, and  respectable  citizen. 

It  is  yours,  my  young  friends,  to  put  a stop  to 
this  tremendous  evil.  It  is  your  duty,  and  it  should 
be  your  pleasure,  to  give  that  tone  to  the  public  sen- 
timent, without  which,  in  governments  lilte  this, 
written  laws  are  powerless. 

Do  not  say  that  the  influence  of  one  person  can- 
not effect  much.  Remember  that  the  power  of 
example  is  almost  omnipotent.  In  debating  whe- 
ther you  may  not  venture  to  buy  one  more  ticket, 
remember  that  if  you  do  so,  you  adopt  a course 
which,  if  taken  by  every  other  individual  in  the 
United  States  (and  who  out  of  thirteen  millions  has 
not  the  same  right  as  yourself?)  would  give  abun- 
dant support  to  the  whole  lottery  system,  with  all  its 
horrors.  And  could  you  in  that  case  remain  guilt- 
less? Can  the  fountains  of  such  a sickly  stream 
be  pure  ? You  would  not  surely  condemn  the 
waters  of  a mighty  river  while  you  were  one  of  a 
company  engaged  in  filling  the  springs  and  rills 
that  unite  to  form  it.  Remember  that  just  in  pro- 
portion as  you  contribute,  by  your  example,  to  dis- 
courage this  species  of  gambling,  just  in  the  same 
proportion  will  you  contribute  to  stay  the  progress 
of  a tremendous  scourge,  and  to  enforce  the  exe- 
cution of  good  and  salutary  laws. 


176  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Effects  of  theatres  on  health.  Testimony  on  the  subject 


With  this  pernicious  practice,  I have  always  been 
decidedly  at  war.  I believe  the  system  to  be  whol- 
iy  wrong,  and  that  those  who  countenance  it,  in 
any  way  whatever,  are  wholly  inexcusable. 

Section  III.  On  Theatres. 

Much  is  said  by  the  friends  of  theatres  about 
what  they  might  be ; and  not  a few  persons  indulge 
the  hope  that  the  theatre  may  yet  be  made  a school 
of  morality.  Hut  my  business  at  present  is  with  it 
as  it  is,  and  as  it  has  hitherto  been.  The  reader 
will  be  more  benefited  by  existing  facts  than  san- 
guine anticipations,  or  visionary  predictions. 

A German  medical  writer  calculates  that  one  in 
150  of  those  who  frequently  attend  theatres  become 
diseased  and  die,  from  the  impurity  of  the  atmos- 
phere. The  reason  is,  that  respiration  contami- 
nates the  air;  and  where  large  assemblies  are 
collected  in  close  rooms,  the  air  is  corrupted  much 
more  rapidly  than  many  are  aware.  Lavoisier,  the 
French  chemist,  states,  that  in  a theatre,  from  the 
commencement  to  the  end  of  the  play,  the  oxygen 
or  vital  air  is  diminished  in  the  proportion  of  from 
27  to  21,  or  nearly  one  fourth;  and  consequently 
is  in  the  same  proportion  less  fit  for  respiration, 
than  it  was  before.  This  is  probably  the  general 
truth ; but  the  number  of  persons  present,  and  the 
amount  of  space,  must  determine,  in  a great  meas^ 
lire,  the  rapidity  with  which  the  air  is  corrupted. 


ON  THEATRES.  177 

Diseases  produced  by  attending  theatres.  Their  effects  on  morals. 


The  pit  is  the  most  unhealthy  part  of  a play-house, 
because  the  carbonic  acid  which  is  formed  by  res- 
piration is  heavier  than  atmospheric  air,  and  ac- 
cumulates near  the  floor. 

It  is  painful  to  look  round  on  a gay  audience 
of  1500  persons,  and  consider  that  ten  of  this  num- 
ber will  die  in  consequence  of  breathing  the  bad 
air  of  the  room  so  frequently,  and  so  long.  But  I 
believe  this  estimate  is  quite  within  bounds. 

There  are  however  other  results  to  be  dreaded. 
The  practice  of  going  out  of  a heated,  as  well  as  an 
impure  atmosphere  late  in  the  evening,  and  often 
without  sufficient  clothing,  exposes  the  individual 
to  cold,  rheumatism,  pleurisy,  and  fever.  Many  a 
young  lady,  — and,  I fear,  not  a few  young  gentle- 
men,— get  the  consumption  by  taking  colds  in 
this  manner. 

Not  only  the  health  of  the  body,  but  the  mind 
and  morals,  too,  are  often  injured.  Dr.  Griscom, 
of  New  York,  in  a report  on  the  causes  of  vice  and 
crime  in  that  city,  made  a few  years  since,  says; 
‘Among  the  causes  of  vicious  excitement  in  our 
city,  none  appear  to  be  so  powerful  in  their  nature 
as  theatrical  amusements.  The  number  of  boys 
and  young  men  who  have  become  determined 
thieves,  in  order  to  procure  the  means  of  introduc- 
tion to  the  theatres  and  circuses,  would  appal  the 
feelings  of  every  vhtuous  mind,  could  the  whole 
truth  be  laid  open  before  them. 

‘ In  the  case  of  the  feebler  sex,  the  result  is  still 


178  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Theatres  during  the  French  revolution.  Views  of  Plato  and  others. 


worse.  A relish  for  the  amusements  of  the  theatre^ 
without  the  means  of  indulgence,  becomes  too 
often  a motive  for  listening  to  the  first  suggestion 
of  the  seducer,  and  thus  prepares  the  unfortunate 
captive  of  sensuality  for  the  haunts  of  infamy,  and 
a total  destitution  of  all  that  is  valuable  in  the  mind 
and  character  of  woman.’ 

The  following  fact  is  worthy  of  being  consider- 
ed by  the  friends  and  patrons  of  theatres.  During 
the  progress  of  one  of  the  most  ferocious  revolu- 
tions which  ever  shocked  the  face  of  heaven,  thea- 
tres, in  Paris  alone,  multiplied  from  six  to  twenty- 
five.  Now  one  of  two  conclusions  follow  from 
this:  Either  the  spirit  of  the  times  produced  the 
institutions,  or  the  institutions  cherished  the  spirit 
of  the  times ; and  this  will  certainly  prove  that  they 
are  either  the  parents  of  vice  or  the  offspring  of  it. 

The  philosopher  Plato  assures  us,  that  ‘plays 
raise  the  passions,  and  prevent  the  use  of  them; 
and  of  course  are  dangerous  to  morality.’ 

^ The  seeing  of  Comedies,^  says  Aristotle,  ‘ ought 
to  be  forbidden  to  young  people,  till  age  and  disci- 
pline have  made  them  proof  against  debauchery.’ 

Tacitus  says,  ‘ The  German  women  were  guard- 
ed against  danger,  and  preserved  their  purity  by 
having  no  play-houses  among  them.’ 

Even  Ovid  represents  theatrical  amusements  as 
a grand  source  of  corruption,  and  he  advised  Au- 
gustus to  suppress  them. 

The  infidel  philosopher  Rousseaii,  declared  him- 


ON  THEATRES. 


179 


Opinions  of  Hawkins,  Tillotson,  Collier,  Hale  lind 


self  to  be  of  opinion,  that  the  theatre  is,  in  all 
cases,  a school  of  vice.  Though  he  had  himself 
written  for  the  stage,  yet,  when  it  was  proposed  to 
establish  a theatre  in  the  city  of  Geneva,  he  wrote 
against  the  project  with  zeal  and  great  force,  and 
expressed  the  opinion  that  every  friend  of  pure 
morals  ought  to  oppose  it. 

Sir  John  Hawkins,  in  his  life  of  Johnson,  ob- 
serves‘ Although  it  is  said  of  plays  that  they 
teach  morality,  and  of  the  stage  that  it  is  the  mir- 
ror of  human  life,  these  assertions  are  mere  decla- 
mation, and  have  no  foundation  in  truth  or  expe- 
rience. On  the  contrary,  a play-house,  and  the 
regions  about  it,  are  the  very  hot-beds  of  vice.’ 

Archbishop  Tillotson,  after  some  pointed  and 
forcible  reasoning  against  it,  pronounces  the  play- 
house to  be  ‘the  devil’s  chapel,’ ‘a  nursery  of  li- 
centiousness and  vice,’  and  ‘a  recreation  which 
ought  not  to  be  allowed  among  a civilized,  much 
less  a Christian  people.’ 

Bishop  Collier  solemnly  declared,  that  he  was 
persuaded  that  ‘ nothing  had  done  more  to  debauch 
the  age  in  which  he  lived,  than  the  stage  poets  and 
the  play-house.’ 

Sir  Matthew  Hale,  having  in  early  life  experi- 
enced the  pernicious  effects  of  attending  the  thea- 
tre, resolved,  when  he  came  to  London,  never  to 
see  a play  again,  and  to  this  resolution  he  adhered 
through  life. 

Burgh  says ; ‘ What  does  it  avail  that  the  piece 


180  THE  YOUNG  MAn’s  GUIDE, 

Johnson  and  Lord  Kaimes.  j^Young  man  in  New  York! 

itself  be  unexceptioiiable,  if  it  is  to  be  interlarded 
with  lewd  songs  or  dances,  and  tagged  at  the  con- 
clusion with  a ludicrous  and  beastly  farce?  I 
cannot  therefore,  in  conscience,  give  youth  any 
other  advice  than  to  avoid  such  diversions  as  can- 
not be  indulged  without  the  utmost  danger  of  per- 
verting their  taste,  and  corrupting  their  morals.’ 

Dr.  Johnson’s  testimony  on  this  subject  is  nearly 
as  pointed  as  that  of  Archbishop  Tillotson;  and 
Lord  Kaimes  speaks  with  much  emphasis  of  the 
‘poisonous  influence,’  of  theatres. 

Their  evil  tendency  is  seldom  better  illustrated 
than  by  the  following  anecdote,  from  an  individual 
in  New  York,  on  whose  statements  we  may  place 
the  fullest  reliance. 

‘ F.  B.  a young  man  of  about  twenty-two,  called  on 
the  writer  in  the  fail  of  1831  for  employment.  He 
was  a journeyman  printer ; was  recently  from  Ken- 
tucky ; and  owing  to  his  want  of  employment,  as 
he  said,  was  entirely  destitute,  not  only  of  the  com- 
forts, but  the  necessaries  of  life.  I immediately 
procured  him  a respectable  boarding  house,  gave 
him  employment,  and  rendered  his  situation  as 
comfortable  as  my  limited  means  would  permit. 

‘ He  had  not  been  with  me  long,  before  he  ex- 
pressed a desire  to  go  to  the  theatre.  Some  great 
actor  was  to  perform  on  a certain  night,  and  he 
was  very  anxious  to  see  him.  I warned  him  of  the 
consequences,  and  told  him,  my  own  experience 
and  observation  had  convinced  me  that  it  was  a 


ON  theatres.  181 

The  yoiino[  man’s  history  ccmtinued.  His  desertion  from  the  army. 


very  dangerous  place  for  young  men  to  visit.  But 
my  warning  did  no  good.  He  neglected  his  busi^ 
ness,  and  went.  I reproved  him  gently,  but  re- 
tained him  in  my  employment.  He  continued  to 
go,  notwithstanding  all  my  remonstrances  to  the 
contrary.  At  length  my  business  suffered  so  much 
from  his  neglecting  to  attend  to  it  as  he  ought,  that 
I was  under  the  necessity  of  discharging  him  in 
self-defence.  He  got  temporary  employment  in 
different  offices  of  the  city,  where  the  same  faidt 
was  found  with  him.  Immediately  after,  he  ac- 
cepted a situation  of  bar-keeper  in  a porter  house 
or  tavern  attached  to  the  theatre.  His  situation  he 
did  not  hold  long  — from  what  cause,  I know  not. 

‘He  again  applied  to  me  for  work;  but  as  his 
habits  were  not  reformed,  I did  not  think  it  pru-= 
dent  to  employ  him,  allliough  I said  or  did  nothing 
to  injure  him  in  the  estimation  of  others.  Disap- 
pointed in  procuring  employment  in  a business  to 
which  he  had  served  a regular  apprenticeship, 
being  pennyless,  and  seeing  no  bright  prospect  for 
the  future,  he  enlisted  as  a common  soldier  in  the 
United  States’  service. 

‘ He  had  not  been  in  his  new  vocation  long,  be- 
fore he  was  called  upon,  with  other  troops,  to  de- 
fend our  citizens  from  the  attacks  of  the  Indians. 
But  when  the  troops  had  nearly  reached  their  place 
of  destination,  that  ‘invisible  scourge,’ the  cholera, 
made  its  appearance  among  them.  Desertion  was 
the  consequence,  and  among  others  who  fled,  wa« 
the  subject  of  this  article.  16 


18^  THE  yOXJNG  MAN^S  GUIDE. 

His  final  fate.  Keflections.  Theatres  not  a new  thing. 

‘He  returned  to  New  York  — made  application 
at  several  different  offices  for  employment,  without 
success.  In  a few  days  news  came  that  he  had 
been  detected  in  pilfering  goods  from  the  house  of 
his  landlord.  A warrant  was  immediately  issued 
for  him  — he  was  seized,  taken  to  the  police  office 
— convicted,  and  sentenced  to  six  months’  hard 
labor  in  the  penitentiary.  His  name  being  publish- 
ed in  the  newspapers,  in  connection  with  those  of 
other  convicts  — was  immediately  recognised  by 
the  officer  under  whom  he  had  enlisted. — This 
officer  proceeds  to  the  city  — claims  the  prisoner  — 
and  it  is  at  length  agreed  that  he  shall  return  to  the 
United  States’  service,  where  he  shall,  for  the  first 
six  months,  be  compelled  to  roll  sand  as  a punish- 
ment for  desertion,  serve  out  the  five  years  for 
which  he  had  enlisted,  and  then  be  given  up  to  the 
city  authorities,  to  suffer  for  the  crime  of  pilfering. 

‘ It  is  thus  that  we  see  a young  man,  of  good 
natural  abilities,  scarcely  twenty-three  years  of  age, 
compelled  to  lose  six  of  the  most  valuable  years 
of  his  life,  besides  ruining  a fair  reputation,  and 
bringing  disgrace  upon  his  parents  and  friends, 
from  the  apparently  harmless  desire  of  seeing  dra- 
matic performances.  Ought  not  this  to  be  a warn- 
ing to  others,  who  are  travelling  on,  imperceptibly 
in  the  same  road  to  ruin  ? ’ 

Theatres  are  of  ancient  date.  One  built  of  wood, 
in  the  time  of  Cicero  and  Caesar,  would  contain 


SMOKING  TOBACCO.  183 

Theii*  ofigiri.  Female  players.  Theatres  in  France. 

80,000  persons.  The  first  stone  theatre  iit  Rome, 
was  built  by  Pompey,  and  would  contain  40,000. 
There  are  one  or  two  in  Europe,  at  the  present  time, 
that  will  accommodate  4000  or  5000. 

In  England,  until  1660,  public  opinion  did  not 
permit  females  to  perform  in  theatres,  but  the  parts 
were  performed  by  boys. 

If  theatres  have  a reforming  tendency,  this  result 
might  have  been  expected  in  France,  where  they 
have  so  long  been  popular  and  flourishing.  In  1807, 
there  were  in  France  166  theatres,  and  3968  per- 
formers. In  1832  there  were  in  Paris  aione  17, 
which  could  accommodate  21,000  persons.  But  we 
do  not  find  that  they  reformed  the  Parisians ; and 
it  is  reasonable  to  expect  they  never  will. 

Let  young  men  remember,  that  in  this,  as  well 
as  in  many  other  things,  there  is  only  one  point  of 
Becurity,  viz.  total  abstmence. 

Section  IV.  Use  of  Tobacco • 

1.  SMOKING. 

Smoking  has  every  where,  in  Europe  and  Ame- 
rica, become  a tremendous  evil ; and  if  we  except 
Holland  and  Germany,  nowhere  more  so  than  in 
this  country.  Indeed  we  are  already  fast  treading 
in  the  steps  of  those  countries,  and  the  following 
vivid  description  of  the  miseries  which  this  filthy 
practice  entails  on  the  Germans  will  soon  be  quite 
applicable  to  the  people  of  the  United  States,  unless 


J84  THE  YOUNG  MAn’s  GUIDE. 

Use  of  tobacco  in  Germany.  In  the  United  States. 

we  can  induce  the  rising  generation  to  turn  the  cur- 
rent of  pubiic  opinion  against  it. 

‘ This  plague,  like  the  Egyptian  plague  of  frogs, 
is  felt  every  where,  and  in  every  thing.  It  poisons 
the  streets,  the  clubs,  and  the  coffee-houses ; — fur- 
niture, clothes,  equipage,  persons,  are  redolent  of 
the  abomination.  It  makes  even  the  dulness  of  the 
newspapers  doubly  narcotic:  every  eatable  and 
drinkable,  all  that  can  be  seen,  felt,  heard  or  un- 
derstood, is  saturated  with  tobacco;  — the  very  air 
we  breathe  is  but  a conveyance  for  this  poison 
into  the  lungs ; and  every  man,  woman,  and  child, 
rapidly  acquires  the  complexion  of  a boiled  chicken. 
From  the  hour  of  their  waking,  if  nine-tenths  of 
their  population  can  be  said  to  awake  at  all,  to  the 
hour  of  their  lying  down,  the  pipe  is  never  out  of 
their  mouths.  One  mighty  fumigation  reigns,  and 
human  nature  is  smoked  dry  by  tens  of  thousands 
of  square  miles.  The  German  physiologists  com- 
pute, that  of  20  deaths,  between  eighteen  and  thirty- 
five  years,  10  originate  in  the  waste  of  the  consti- 
tution by  smoking,’ 

This  is  indeed  a horrid  picture ; but  when  it  is 
considered  that  the  best  estimates  which  can  be 
made  concur  in  showing  that  tobacco,  to  the  amount 
of  $ 16,000,000,  is  consumed  in  the  United  States 
annually,  and  that  by  far  the  greater  part  of  this  is 
in  smoking  cigars,  there  is  certainly  room  for  gloomy 
apprehensions.  What  though  we  do  not  use  the 
diity  pipe  of  the  Dutch  and  Germans?  If  we  only 


SMOKING  TOBACCO.  • 185 

Indecency  of  smoking.  Parental  example.  Tobacco  poisonous. 


use  the  tobacco,  the  mischief  is  effectually  accom- 
plished. Perhaps  it  were  even  better  that  we  should  ' 
lay  out  a part  of  our  money  for  pipes,  than  to  spend 
the  wliole  for  tobacco. 

Smoking  is  indecent,  filthy,  and  rude,  and  to  many 
individuals  highly  offensive.  When  first  introduc- 
ed into  Europe,  in  the  16th  century,  its  use  was 
prohibited  under  very  severe  penalties,  which  in 
some  countries  amounted  even  to  cutting  off  the 
nose.  And  how  much  better  is  the  practice  of  vo- 
luntarily burning  up  our  noses,  by  making  a chim- 
ney of  them?  1 am  happy,  however,  in  being 
able  to  state,  that  this  unpardonable  practice  is  now 
abandoned  in  many  of  the  fashionable  societies  in 
Europe. 

There  is  one  remarkable  fact  to  be  observed  in 
speaking  on  this  subject.  No  parent  ever  teaches 
his  child  the  use  of  tobacco,  or  even  encourages  it, 
except  by  his  example.  Thus  the  smoker  virtually 
condemns  himself  in  the  very  ‘thing  which  he 
alloweth.’  It  is  not  precisely  so  in  the  case  of 
spirits;  for  many  parents  dffectly  encourage  the 
use  of  that. 

Tobacco  is  one  of  the  most  powerful  poisons  in 
nature.  Even  the  physician,  some  of  whose  medi- 
cines are  so  active  that  a few  grains,  or  a few  drops, 
will  destroy  life  at  once,  finds  tobacco  too  power- 
ful for  his  use ; and  in  those  cases  where  it  is  most 
clearly  required,  only  makes  it  a last  resort.  Its 
daily  use,  in  any  form,  deranges,  and  sometimes 
16* 


186  THE  YOUNG  man’s  GUIDE. 

Smoking  injures  the  eyes.  Produces  other  evils.  Its  expense 


destroys  tbe  stomach  and  nerves,  produces  weak- 
ness, low  spirits,  dyspepsy,  vertigo,  and  many  other 
complaints.  These  are  its  more  immediate  effects. 

Its  remoter  effects  are  scarcely  less  dreadful. 
It  dries  the  mouth  and  nostrils,  and  probably  the 
brain ; benumbs  the  senses  of  smell  and  taste,  im 
pairs  the  hearing,  and  ultimately  the  eye-sight 
Germany,  a smoking  nation,  is  at  tbe  same  time,  a 
spectacled  nation.  More  than  all  this;  it  dries  the 
blood  ; creates  thirst  and  loss  of  appetite ; and  in 
this  and  other  ways,  often  lays  the  foundation  of 
intemperance.  In  fact,  not  a few  persons  are  made 
drunkards  by  this  very  means.  Dr.  Rush  has  a 
long  chapter  on  this  subject  in  one  of  his  volumes, 
which  is  well  worth  your  attention.  In  addition 
to  all  this,  it  has  often  been  observed  that  in  fevers 
and  other  diseases,  medicines  never  operate  well 
in  constitutions  which  have  been  accustomed  to 
the  use  of  tobacco. 

Of  the  expense  which  the  use  of  it  involves,  I 
have  already  spoken.  Of  the  $ 16,000,000  thus 
expended,  $ 9,000,000  are  supposed  to  be  for  smok- 
ing Spanish  cigars  ; $ 6,500,000  for  smoking  Ame- 
rican tobacco,  and  for  chewing  it ; and  $ 500,000 
for  snuff. 

Although  many  people  of  real  intelligence  be- 
come addicted  to  this  practice,  as  is  the  case  espe- 
cially among  the  learned  in  Germany,  yet  it  cannot 
be  denied  that  in  general,  tliose  individuals  and 
nations  \vhose  mental  powers  are  the  weakest,  ar^ 


SMOKING  TOBACCO. 


187 

Practices  of  savage  nations.  The  Gypsies.  Betel. 

(in  proportion  to  their  means  of  acquiring  it)  most 
enslaved  to  it.  To  be  convinced  of  the  truth  of 
this  remark,  we  have  only  to  open  our  eyes  to  facts 
as  tliey  exist  around  us. 

All  ignorant  and  savage  nations  indulge  in  extra- 
ordinary stimulants,  (and  tobacco  among  the  rest,) 
whenever  they  have  the  means  of  obtaining  them ; 
and  in  proportion  to  their  degradation.  Thus  it  is 
with  the  native  tribes  of  North  America;  thus  with 
the  natives  of  Africa,  Asia,  and  New  Holland; 
thus  with  the  Cretins  and  Gypsies.  Zimmerman 
says,  that  the  latter ‘suspended  their  predatory  ex- 
cursions, and  on  an  appointed  evening  in  every 
week,  assemble  to  enjoy  their  guilty  spoils  in  the 
fumes  of  strong  waters  and  tobacco^  Here  they  are 
represented  as  indulging  in  idle  tales  about  the 
character  and  conduct  of  those  around  them;  a 
statement  which  can  very  easily  be  believed  by 
those  who  have  watched  the  effects  produced  by 
the  fumes  of  stimulating  beverages  much  more 
^respectable’^  than  spirits  or  tobacco  smoke, 

The  quantity  which  is  used  in  civilized  nations 
is  almost  incredil>ly  great.  England  alone  import- 
ed, in  1829,  22,400,000  lbs.  of  unmanufactured  to- 
bacco. There  is  no  narcotic  plant  —not  even  the 
tea  plant — in  such  extensive  use,  unless  it  is  the 
betel  of  India  and  the  adjoining  countries.  This 
is  the  leaf  of  a climbing  plant  resembling  ivy,  but 
of  the  pepper  tribe.  The  people  of  the  east  chew 
it  so  incessantly,  and  in  such  quantities,  that  tlieir 


188  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

What  shall  be  done  ? Chewing  tobacco.  Excuses  for  it 

lips  become  quite  red,  and  their  teeth  black  — 
showing  that  it  has  affected  their  whole  systems. 
They  carry  it  about  them  in  boxes,  and  offer  it  to 
each  other  in  compliment,  as  the  Europeans  do 
snuff;  and  it  is  considered  uncivil  and  unkind  to 
refuse  to  accept  and  chew  it.  This  is  done  by  the 
women  as  well  as  by  the  men.  Were  we  dispos- 
ed, we  might  draw  from  this  fact  many  important 
lessons  on  our  own  favored  stimulants. 

In  view  of  the  great  and  growing  evil  of  smok- 
ing, the  practical  question  arises ; ‘ What  shall  be 
done  ? ’ The  answer  is  — Render  it  unfashionable 
and  disreputable.  Do  you  ask,  ‘ Hoiv  is  this  to  be 
accomplished  ? ’ Why,  how  has  alcohol  been  ren- 
dered unpopular.^  Do  you  still  say,  ‘One  person 
alone  cannot  effect  much.^’  But  so  might  any 
person  have  said  a few  years  ago,  in  regard  to 
spirits.  Individuals  must  commence  the  work  of 
reformation  in  the  one  case,  as  well  as  in  the  other ; 
and  success  will  then  be  equally  certain. 

2.  CHEWING. 

Many  of  the  remarks  already  made  apply  with 
as  much  force  to  the  use  of  tobacco  in  every  form, 
as  to  the  mere  habit  of  smoking.  But  I have  a few 
additional  thoughts  on  chewing  this  plant. 

There  ai*e  never  wanting  excuses  for  any  thing 
which  we  feel  strongly  inclined  to  do.  Thus  a 
thousand  little  frivolous  pleas  are  used  for  chew- 
ing tobacco.  One  man  of  reputed  good  sense  told 


CHEWING  TOBACCO.  189 

Does  tobacco  preserve  the  teeth.  Subject  considered. 

me  that  liis  tobacco  probably  cost  him  nothing,  for 
if  he  did  not  use  it,  he  ‘should  be  apt  to  spend  as 
much  wortli  of  time  in  'picking  and  eating  summer 
fruits,  as  would  pay  for  it.’  No^v  1 do  not  like  the 
practice  of  eating  even  summer  fruits  between 
meals ; but  they  are  made  to  be  eaten  moderately, 
no  doubt;  and  if  people  will  not  eat  them  with 
their  food,  it  is  generally  a less  evil  to  eat  them 
between  meals,  than  not  at  all.  But  the  truth  is, 
tobacco  chewers  never  relish  these  things  at  any 
time. 

The  only  plea  for  chewing  this  noxious  plant, 
which  is  entitled  to  a serious  consideration  is,  that 
it  tends  to  preserve  the  teeth.  This  is  the  strong 
hold  of  tobacco  chewers  — not,  generally,  when 
they  commence  the  practice,  but  as  soon  as  they 
find  themselves  slaves  to  it. 

Now  the  truth  appears  to  be  this: 

1.  ‘ When  a tooth  is  decayed  in  such  a manner 
as  to  leave  the  nerve  exposed,  there  is  no  doubt 
that  the  pow^erful  stimulus  of  tobacco  must  greatly 
diminish  its  sensibility.  But  there  are  very  many 
other  substances,  less  poisonous,  whose  occasional 
application  would  accomplish  the  same  result,  and 
without  deadening,  at  the  same  time,  the  sensibili- 
ties of  the  whole  system,  as  tobacco  does. 

2.  The  person  who  chews  tobacco,  generally 
puts  a piece  in  his  mouth  immediately  after  eating. 
This  is  immediately  moved  from  place  to  place, 
and  not  only  performs,  in  some  measure,  the  office 


T9'0  THE  YOUNG  man’s  GUIDE. 

Evils  of  snuft'  taking.  Chesterfield’s  opinion. 

of  a brush  and  toothpick,  but  produces  a sudden 
flow  of  saliva ; and  in  consequence  of  both  of  these 
causes  combined,  the  teeth  are  effectually  cleansed ; 
and  cleanliness  is  undoubtedly  one  of  the  most 
effectual  preventives  of  decay  in  teeth  yet  known. 
Yet  there  are  far  better  means  of  cleansing  the 
mouth  and  teeth  after  eating  than  by  means  of 
tobacco. 

If  there  be  any  other  known  reasons  why  tobac- 
co should  preserve  teeth,  I am  ignorant  of  them. 
There  are  then  no  arguments  of  any  weight  for 
.using  it ; while  there  are  a multitude  of  very  strong 
reasons  against  it.  I might  add  them,  in  this  place, 
but  it  appears  to  me  unnecessary. 

3.  TAKING  SNUFF. 

I have  seen  many  individuals  who  would  not, 
on  any  account  whatever,  use  spirits,  or  chew  to- 
bacco ; but  who  would  not  hesitate  to  dry  up  their 
nasal  membranes,  injure  their  speech,  induce  ca- 
tarrhal affections,  and  besmear  their  face,  clothes, 
books,  &c.  with  snuff.  This,  however  common, 
appears  to  me  ridiculous.  Almost  all  the  serious 
evils  which  result  from  smoking  and  chewing,  fol- 
low the  practice  of  snuffing  powdered  tobacco  into 
the  nose.  Even  Chesterfield  opposes  it,  when  after 
characterizing  all  use  of  tobacco  or  snuff,  in  any 
form,  as  both  vulgar  and  filthy,  he  adds : ‘ Besides, 
snuff-takers  are  generally  very  dull  and  shallow  peo- 
ple, and  have  recourse  to  it  merely  as  a fillip  to  tho 


TAKING  SNUW. 


m 

Painful  diseases  produced  by  snufF  taking.  Recreatio^. 

brain ; by  all  means,  therefore,  avoid  the  filthy  cm- 
tom.’  This  censure,  though  rather  severe,  is  equal- 
ly applicable  to  smoking  and  chewing. 

Naturalists  say  there  is  one  species  of  maggot 
fly  that  mistakes  the  odor  of  some  kinds  of  snuff 
for  that  of  putrid  substances,  and  deposits  its  eggs 
in  it.  In  warm  weather  therefore,  it  must  be  dan- 
gerous to  take  snuff  which  has  been  exposed  to 
these  insects;  for  the  eggs  sometimes  hatch  in 
two  hours,  and  the  most  tremendous  consequences 
might  follow.  And  it  is  not  impossible  that  some 
of  the  most  painful  diseases  to  which  the  human 
race  are  liable,  may  have  been  occasionally  produced 
by  this  or  a similar  cause.  The  ‘tic  douloureux’  is 
an  example. 

A very  common  disease  in  sheep  is  known  to  be 
produced  by  worms  in  cavities  which  communi- 
cate with  the  nose.  Only  a little  acquaintance 
with  the  human  structure  would  show  that  there 
are  a number  of  cavities  in  the  bones  of  the  face 
and  head,  some  of  which  will  hold  half  an  ounce 
each,  which  communicate  with  the  nose,  and  into 
which  substances  received  into  this  organ  occasion- 
ally fall,  but  cannot  escape  as  easily  as  they  enter. 

Section  V.  Useful  Recreations. 

The  young,  I shall  be  told,  must  and  will  have 
their  recreations ; and  if  they  are  to  be  denied  every 
species  of  gaming,  what  shall  they  do?  ‘You 


192  THE  YOUNG  man’s  GUIDE. 

Recreations  in  the  open  air.  Skating.  Dancing. 

would  not,  surely,  have  them  spend  their  leisure 
hours  in  gratifying  the  senses ; in  eating,  drinking, 
and  licentiousness.’ 

By  no  means.  Recreations  they  must  have ; ac- 
tive recreation,  too,  in  the  ot>enjdr.  Some  of  the 
most  appropriate  are  playing  htm^uoits,  ninepins, 
and  other  athletic  exercises ; but  in  no  case  for 
money,  or  any  similar  consideration.  Skating  is  a 
good  exercise  in  its  proper  season,  if  followed 
with  great  caution.  Dancings  for  those  who  sit 
much,  such  as  pupils  in  sch<^l,  tailors  and  shoe- 
makers, would  be  an  appropriate  exercise,  if  it  were 
not  perpetually  abused.  By  assembling  in  large 
crowds,  continuing  it  late  at  evening,  and  then  sally- 
ing out  in  a perspiration,  into  the  cold  or  damp 
night  air,  a thousand  times  more  mischief  has  been 
done,  than  all  the  benefit  which  it  has  afforded 
would  balance.  It  were  greatly  to  be  wished  that 
this  exercise  might  be  regulated  by  those  rules 
which  human  experience  has  indicated,  instead  of 
being  subject  to  the  whim  and  caprice  of  fashion. 
It  is  a great  pity  an  exercise  so  valuable  to  the  se- 
dentary, and  especially  those  who  sit  much,  of  both 
sexes,  should  be  so  managed  as  to  injure  half  the 
world,  and  excite  against  it  the  prejudices  of  the 
other  half. 

I have*said  tliat  the  jmung  must  have  recreations, 
and  generally  in  the  open  air.  The  reason  why 
they  should  usually  be  conducted  in  the  open  air, 
is,  that  their  ordinary  occupations  too  frequently 


USEFUL  RECREATIONS.  193 

Fire-side  recreations  Books.  Newspapers.  Lyceums.  Anecdote. 

confine  them  within  doors,  and  of  course  in  an 
atmosphere  more  or  less  vitiated.  Farmers,  gar- 
deners, rope  makers,  and  persons  whose  occupa- 
tions are  of  an  active  nature,  do  not  need  ^ut-of- 
door  sports  at  all.  Their  recreations  should  be  by 
the  fire  side.  - Not  with  cards  or  dice,  nor  in  the 
company  of  those  whose  company  is  not  worth 
having.  But  the  book,  the  newspaper,  conversa.- 
tion,  or  the  lyceum,  will  be  the  appropriate  re- 
creations for  these  classes,  and  will  be  found  in  the 
highest  degree  satisfactory.  For  the  evening,  the 
lyceum  is  particularly  adapted,  because  laboring 
young  men  are  often  too  much  fatigued  at  night, 
to  think,  closely ; and  the  lyceum,  or  conversation, 
will  be  more  agreeable,  and  not  less  useful.  But  the 
family  circle  may  of  itself  constitute  a lyceum,  and 
the  book  or  the  newspaper  may  be  made  the  sub- 
ject of  discussion.  I have  known  the  heads  of 
families  in  one  neighborhood  greatly  improved, 
and  the  whole  neighborhood  derive  an  impulse, 
from  the  practice  of  meeting  one  evening  in  the 
week,  to  read  the  news  together,  and  converse  on 
the  more  interesting  intelligence  of  the  day. 

Some  strongly  recommend  ‘the  sports  of  the 
field,’  and  talk  with  enthusiasm  of  ‘ hunting,  cours- 
ing, fishing;’  and  of  ‘dogs  and  horses.’  But  these 
are  no  recreations  for  me.  True  they  are  healthy 
to  the  body;  but  not  to  the  morals.  This. I say 
confidently,  although  some  of  my  readers  may 
17 


194  THE  YOUNG  MAn’s  GUIDE. 

Field  sports.  Their  cruelty.  They  are  unchristian. 

smile,  and  call  it  an  affectation  of  sensibility.  Yet 
with  Cowper, 

‘ I would  not  enter  on  my  list  of  friends 

The  man  who  needlessly  sets  foot  upon  a worm.’ 

If  the  leading  objects  of  field  sports  were  to  pro- 
cure sustenance,  I would  not  say  a word.  But 
the  very  term  sports,  implies  something  different. 
And  shall  we  sport  with  life  — even  that  of  the 
inferior  animals.^  That  which  we  cannot  give, 
shall  we  presumptuously  dare  to  take  away,  and 
as  our  only  apology  say,  ‘ Am  I not  in  sport  ? ’ 
Besides,  other  amusements  equally  healthy,  and 
if  we  are  accustomed  to  them,  equally  pleasant, 
and  much  more  rational,  can  be  substituted.  What 
they  are,  I have  mentioned,  at  least  hi  part.  How 
a sensible  man,  and  especially  a Christian,  can 
hunt  or  fish,  when  he  would  not  do  it,  were  it  not 
for  the  pleasure  he  enjoys  in  the  cruelty  it  in- 
volves;— how,  above  all,  a wise  father  can  recom- 
mend it  to  his  children,  or  to  others,  I am  utterly 
unable  to  conceive ! 


CHAPTER  IV. 
Kmiirobemcnt  of  tj)c 


Section  L Habit  of  Observation. 

‘Your  eyes  open,  your  thoughts  close,  will  go 
safe  through  the  world,’  is  a maxim  which  some 
have  laid  down ; but  it  savors  rather  too  much  of 
selfishness.  ‘You  may  learn  from  others  all  you 
can,  but  you  are  to  give  them  as  little  opportunity 
as  possible  for  learning  from  you,’  seems  to  be  the 
language,  properly  interpreted.  Suppose  every 
one  took  the  advice,  and  endeavored  to  keep  his 
thoughts  close,  for  fear  he  should  either  be  misun- 
derstood, or  thought  wanting  in  wisdom;  what 
would  become  of  the  pleasures  of  conversation? 
Yet  these  make  up  a very  considerable  item  of  the 
happiness  of  human  life. 

I have  sometimes  thought  with  Dr.  Rush,  that 
taciturnity,  though  often  regarded  as  a mark  of 
wisdom,  is  rather  the  effect  of  a ‘want  of  ideas.’ 
The  doctor  mentions  the  taciturnity  of  the  Ameri- 
can Indians  as  a case  in  point.  Even  in  civilized 
company,  he  believes  that  with  one  or  two  ex- 
ceptions, an  indisposition  to  join  in  conversation 


196  THE  YOUNG  MAN  S GUIDE. 

Observation.  Ditfercnce  in  the  power  of  acquiring  the  habit 

‘ill  nine  cases  out  of  ten,  is  a mark  of  stupidity,’ 
and  presently  adds ; ‘ Ideas,  whether  acquired 
from  books  or  by  reflection,  produce  a plethora  in 
the  mind,  which  can  only  be  relieved  by  depletion 
from  the  pen  or  tongue.’ 

‘Keep  your  eyes  open,’  however,  is  judicious 
advice.  How  many  who  have  the  eyes  of  their 
body  open,  keep  the  eyes  of  the  soul  perpetually 
shut  up.  ‘Seeing,  they  see  not.’  Such  persons, 
on  arriving  at  the  age  of  three  or  four  score,  may 
lay  claim  to  superior  wisdom  on  account  of  supe- 
rior age,  but  their  claims  ought  not  to  be  admitted. 
A person  who  has  the  eyes  both  of  his  mind  and 
body  open,  will  derive  more  wisdom  from  one 
year’s  experience,  than  those  who  neglect  to  ob- 
serve for  themselves,  from  ten.  Thus  at  thirty, 
with  ten  years  acquaintance  with  men,  manners 
and  things,  a person  may  be  wiser  than  another 
at  three  times  thirty,  with  seven  times  ten  years 
of  what  he  calls  experience.  Sound  practical  wis- 
dom, cannot,  it  is  true,  be  rapidly  acquired  any 
where  but  in  the  school  of  experience,  but  the 
world  abounds  with  men  who  are  old  enough  to 
be  wise,  and  yet  are  very  ignorant.  Let  it  be 
your  fixed  resolution  not  to  belong  to  this  class. 

But  in  order  to  have  the  mental  eyes  open,  the 
external  eyes  should  be  active.  We  should,  as  a 
general  rule,  see  what  is  going  on  around  us. 
There  are  indeed  seasons,  occurring  in  the  school 
or  the  closet,  when  abstraction  is  desirable;  but 


OBSERVATION.  197 

A paradox  explained.  Anecdote  of  Dr.  Dwight.  Pedantry. 


speaking  generally,  we  should  ‘keep  our  eyes 
open.’ 

It  is  hence  easy  to  see  why  some  men  who  are 
accounted  learned,  are  yet  in  common  life  very 
great  fools.  Is  it  not  because  their  eyes  have  been 
shut  to  every  thing  but  books,  and  schools,  and 
colleges,  and  universities  ? 

The  late  Dr.  Dwight  was  an  eminent  instance 
of  keeping  up  an  acquaintance  both  with  books, 
and  the  world  in  which  he  lived  and  acted.  In 
his  walks,  or  wherever  he  happened  to  be,  no- 
thing could  escape  his  eye.  ‘Not  a bird  could 
fly  up,’  says  one  of  his  students,  ‘but  he  observ- 
ed it.’  And  he  endeavored  to  establish  the  same 
habit  of  observation  in  others.  Riding  in  a chaise, 
one  day,  with  a student  of  his,  who  was  apt  to 
be  abstracted  from  surrounding  things,  he  sudden- 
ly exclaimed,  almost  hidignant  at  his  indifference, 
‘ S — keep  your  eyes  open ! ’ The  lesson  was  not 
lost.  It  made  a deep  impression  on  the  mind  of 
the  student.  Though  by  no  means  distinguished 
in  his  class,  he  has  outstripped  many,  if  not  the 
most  of  them,  in  actual  and  practical  usefulness; 
and  to  this  hour,  he  attributes  much  of  his  success 
to  the  foregohig  circumstance. 

There  is  a pedantry  in  these  things,  however, 
which  is  not  only  fulsome,  but  tends  to  defeat  our 
very  purpose.  It  is  not  quite  sufficient  that  we 
merely  bestow  a passing  glance  on  objects,  they 
must  strilce  deep.  If  they  do  not,  they  had  better 

17# 


198  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Affectation  of  knowledge.  Anecdote  of  the  elder  Pliny. 

not  have  been  seen  at  all ; since  the  habit  of  ‘ see- 
in  ^ not,’  while  we  appear  to  ‘see,’  has  been  all  the 
while  strengthening. 

It  cannot  be  denied  that  a person  who  shall  take 
the  advice  I have  given,  may,  with  a portion  of 
his  fellow  men,  gain  less  credit  than  if  he  adopted 
a different  course.  There  is  a certain  surgeon,  in 
one  of  the  New  England  States,  w^ho  has  acquired 
much  popularity  by  reading  as  he  travels  along. 
Seldom  or  never,  say  his  admirers,  is  he  seen  in 
his  carriage  without  a book  in  his  hand,  or  at  his 
side.  But  such  popularity  is  usually  of  a mush- 
room character.  There  may  be  pressing  occasions 
which  render  it  the  duty  of  a surgeon  to  consult 
his  books,  while  in  his  carriage;  but  these  occa- 
sions can  never  be  of  frequent  occurrence.  It  is 
far  better  that  he  should  be  reading  lessons  from 
the  great  and  open  volume  of  nature. 

Nor  does  it  add,  in  any  degree,  to  the  just  re- 
spect due  to  the  wisdom  of  either  of  the  Plinys, 
that  the  elder  ‘ never  travelled  without  a book  and 
a portable  writing  desk  by  his  side,  ’ and  that  the 
younger  read  upon  all  occasions,  whether  riding, 
walking,  or  sitting.’  I cannot  doubt  that,  wise  as 
they  were  in  books  and  philosophy,  they  would 
have  secured  a much  greater  fund  of  j)ractical  wis- 
dom, had  they  left  their  books  and  writing  desks 
at  home,  and  ‘ kept  their  eyes  open  ’ to  surrounding 
objects. 

There  is  another  thing  mentioned  of  Pliny  the 


RULES  FOR  CONVERSATION.  199 

Improvement  from  conversation.  Every  one  has  his  excellences. 


elder,  which  is  equally  objectionable.  It  is  said 
that  a person  read  to  him  during  his  meals,  I 
have  given  my  views  on  this  point,  in  Chapter  I. 

Section  II.  Rules  for  Conversation, 

The  bee  has  the  art  of  extracting  honey  from 
every  flower  which  contains  it,  even  from  some 
which  are  not  a little  nauseous  or  poisonous.  It 
has  also  been  said  that  the  conversation  of  every 
individual,  whatever  may  be  the  condition  of  his 
mind  or  circumstances,  may  be  made  a means  of 
improvement.  How  happy  would  it  be,  then,  if 
man  possessed  the  skill  of  the  bee,  and  knew  how 
to  extract  the  good,  and  reject  the  bad  or  useless! 

Something  on  this  subject  is,  indeed,  known. 
There  are  rules,  by  the  observance  of  which  we 
may  derive  much  valuable  information  from  the 
conversation  of  those  among  whom  we  live,  even 
though  it  should  relate  to  the  most  ordinary  sub- 
jects and  concerns.  And  not  only  so,  we  may  of- 
ten devise  means  to  change  the  conversation,  either 
directly,  by  gradually  introducing  other  topics  of 
discourse,  or  indirectly,  by  patient  attempts  to  en- 
large and  improve  and  elevate  the  minds  of  our 
associates. 

Every  individual  has  excellences;  and  almost 
every  person,  however  ignorant,  has  thought  upon 
some  one  subject  more  than  many,  — perhaps  most 
— others.  Some  excel  in  the  knowledge  of  hus- 


^00  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE* 

A useful  rule.  Hero  of  the  circle.  An  objectioilh 


bandry,  some  in  gardening,  some  in  mechanics,  or 
manufactures,  some  in  mathematics,  and  so  on. 
In  all  your  conversation,  then,  it  will  be  well  to 
ascertain  as  nearly  as  you  can  wherein  the  skill 
and  excellence  of  an  individual  lies,  and  put  him 
upon  his  favorite  subject.  Nor  is  this  difficult. 
Every  one  will^  of  his  own  accord,  fall  to  talking 
on  his  favorite  topic,  if  you  will  follow,  and  not 
attempt  to  lead  him. 

Except  in  a few  rare  cases,  every  one  wishes  to 
be  the  hero  of  the  circle  where  he  is  conversings 
If,  therefore,  you  seek  to  improve  in  the  greatest 
possible  degree,  from  the  conversation  of  those 
among  whom  you  may  be  thrown,  you  will  suffer 
a companion  to  take  his  own  course,  and  ‘ out  of  the 
abundance  of  his  heart,’  let  his  ‘mouth  speak.’ 
By  this  means  you  may  easily  collect  the  worth 
and  excellence  of  every  one  you  meet  with ; and 
be  able  to  put  it  together  for  your  own  use  upon 
future  occasions. 

The  common  objections  to  the  views  here  pre- 
sented, are,  that  they  encourage  dissimulation. 
But  this  does  not  appear  to  me  to  be  the  fact.  In 
suffering  a person,  for  the  space  of  a single  con- 
versation, to  be  the  hero  of  the  circle,  we  do  not 
of  necessity  concede  his  superiority  generally ; we 
only  help  him  to  be  useful  to  the  company.  It 
often  happens  that  you  are  thrown  among  persons 
whom  you  cannot  benefit  b})^  becoming  the  hero 
of  the  circle  yourself,  for  they  will  not  listen  to 


RULES  FOR  CONVERSATION.  201 

Avoid  interrupting  others.  ^hiin  the  wanton  and  profane. 

you  ; and  perhaps  will  not  understand  your  terms, 
if  they  do.  If,  however,  there  appear  to  be  others 
in  the  company  whose  object,  like  your  own,  is 
improvement,  you  mi^ht  expose  yourself  to  the 
just  charge  of  being  selfish,  should  you  refuse  to  con- 
verse upon  your  own  favorite  topics  in  your  turn ; 
and  thus  to  let  the  good  deed  go  round. 

Never  interrupt  another,  but  hear  him  out.  You 
will  understand  him  the  better  for  it,  and  be  able 
to  give  him  the  better  answer.  If  you  only  give 
him  an  opportunity,  he  may  say  something  which 
you  have  not  yet  heard,  or  explain  what  you  did 
not  fully  understand,  or  even  mention  something 
which  you  did  not  expect. 

There  are  individuals  with  whom  you  may  oc- 
casionally come  in  contact,  from  whose  conversa- 
tion you  will  hardly  derive  much  benefit  at  all. 
Such  are  those  who  use  wanton,  or  obscene,  or 
profane  language.  For,  besides  the  almost  utter 
hopelessness  of  deriving  any  benefit  from  such  per- 
sons, and  the  pain  you  must  inevitably  suffer  in 
hearing  them,  you  put  your  own  reputation  at 
hazard.  ‘A  man  is  known  by  the  company  he 
keeps;’  take  care  therefore  bow  you  frequent  the 
company  of  the  swearer  or  the  sensualist.  Avoid, 
too,  the  known  liar,  for  similar  reasons. 

If  you  speak  in  company,  it  is  not  only  modest 
but  wise  to  speak  late ; for  by  this  means,  you  will 
be  able  to  render  your  conversation  more  accept-  , 
.able,  and  to  weigh  beforehand  the  importance  of 


202  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Speak  in  few  words  Be  cairn.  Avoid  hnes8<^ 


what  you  utter ; and  you  will  be  less  likely  to  vio- 
late the  good  old  rule,  ‘think  twice  before  you 
^eak  once.’  Let  your  words  be  as  few  as  will 
express  the  sense  which  you  wish  to  convey,  es- 
pecially when  strangers  or  men  of  much  greater 
experience  than  yourself  are  present;  and  above 
all,  be  careful  that  what  you  say  be  strictly  true. 

Do  not  suffer  your  feelings  to  betray  you  into 
too  great  earnestness,  or  vehemence ; and  never  be 
overbearing.  Avoid  triumphing  over  an  antag- 
onist, even  though  you  might  reasonably  do  so. 
You  gain  nothing.  On  the  contrary,  you  often 
confirm  him  in  his  erroneous  opinions.  At  least, 
you  prejudice  him  against  yourself.  Zimmerman 
insists  that  we  should  suffer  an  antagonist  to  get 
the  victory  over  us  occasionally,  in  order  to  raise  hia 
respect  for  himself.  All  Jinesse  of  this  kind,  how- 
ever, as  Christians,  I think  it  better  to  avoid. 

Section  III.  On  Books,  and  Study. 

It  may  excite  some  surprise  that  books,  and 
study,  do  not  occupy  a more  conspicuous  place  in 
this  work.  There  are  several  reasons  for  this  cir- 
cumstance. The  first  is,  a wish  to  counteract  the 
prevailing  tendency  to  make  too  much  of  books 
as  a means  of  forming  character.  The  second  is, 
because  the  choice  of  these  depends  more  upon 
. parents  and  teachers  than  upon  the  individual  him- 
self ; and  if  they  have  neglected  to  lay  the  founda-^ 


ON  BOOKS  AND  STUDY.  203 

Methods  of  improvement.  Debating  societies.  Newspapers. 


tion  of  a desire  for  mental  improvement,  there  is 
less  probability  that  any  advice  I may  give  on  this 
subject  will  be  serviceable,  than  on  most  others. 

And  yet,  no  young  man,  at  any  age,  ought  to 
despair  of  establishing  such  habits  of  body  and 
mind  as  he  believes  would  contribute  to  his  use- 
fulness. He  hates  the  sight  of  a book  perhaps; 
but  what  then?  This  prejudice  may,  in  a meas- 
ure, be  removed.  Not  at  once,  it  is  true,  but  gradu- 
ally. Not  by  compelling  himself  to  read  or  study 
against  his  inclination;  for  little  will  be  accom- 
plished when  it  goes  ‘ against  the  grain.’  But  there 
are  means  better  and  more  effective  than  these ; 
some  of  which  I will  now  proceed  to  point  out. 

Let  him  attach  himself  to  some  respectable  lyce- 
um  or  debating  society.  Most  young  men  are 
willing  to  attend  a lyceum,  occasionally ; and  thanks 
to  the  spirit  of  the  times  and  those  who  have 
zealously  labored  to  produce  the  present  state  of 
things,  these  institutions  every  where  abound.  Let 
him  now  and  then  take  part  in  a discussion,  if  it  be, 
at  first,  only  to  say  a few  words.  The  moment  he 
can  awaken  an  interest  in  almost  any  subject  what- 
ever, that  moment  he  will,  of  necessity,  seek  for 
infoiTTiation  in  regard  to  it.  He  will  seek  it,  not 
only  in  conversation,  but  in  newspapers.  These,  if 
well  selected,  will  in  their  turn  refer  him  to  books 
of  travels.  Gradually  he  will  find  histories,  if  not 
written  in  too  dry  a manner,  sources  of  delight. 
Thus  he  will  proceed,  step  by  step,  till  he  finds 


204  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Avoid  studying  too  long.  An  erroneous  impression  corrected. 


himself  quite  attached  to  reading  of  various  des- 
criptions. 

There  is  one  caution  to  be  observed  here,  which 
iSj  not  to  read  too  long  or  too  much  at  once.  When 
ever  a book,  or  even  a newspaper,  begins  to  be 
irksome,  let  it  be  laid  aside  for  the  time.  In  this 
way  you  will  return  to  it,  at  the  next  leisure  mo- 
ment, with  increased  pleasure. 

A course  not  unlike  that  which  I have  been 
describing,  faithfully  and  perseveringly  followed, 
would  in  nine  cases  in  ten,  be  successful.  Indeed, 
I never  yet  knew  of  a single  failure.  One  great 
point  is,  to  be  thoroughly  convinced  of  its  im- 
portance, No  youngs  man  can  reasonably  expect 
success,  unless  he  enters  upon  his  work  with 
his  whole  heart,  and  pursues  it  with  untiring  as- 
siduity. 

Of  the  necessity  of  improvement,  very  few  young 
men  seem  to  have  doubts.  But  there  is  a diffi- 
culty which  many  feel,  which  it  will  require  no 
little  effort  to  remove,  because  it  is  one  of  long 
standing,  and  wrought  into  all  the  arrangements  of 
civilized  society.  I allude  to  the  prevailing  im- 
pression that  very  little  can  be  done  to  improve 
the  mind  beyond  a certain  age,  and  the  limit  is 
often  fixed  at  eighteen  or  twenty  years.  We  hear 
it,  indeed,  asserted,  that  nothing  can  be  done  after 
thnty ; but  the  general  belief  is  that  most  men  can- 
not do  much  after  twenty : or  at  least  that  it  will 
cost  much  hai-der  effort  and  study. 


Self  education. 


ON  BOOKS  AND  STUDY.  205 

On  beginning  study  late  in  life. 


Now,  I would  be  the  last  to  encourage  any  young 
person  in  wasting,  or  even  undervaluing  his  early 
years;  for  youth  is  a golden  period,  and  every 
moment  well  spent  will  te  to  the  future  what  good 
seed,  well  planted  in  its  season,  is  to  the  husband- 
man. 

The  truth  is,  that  what  we  commonly  call  a 
course  of  education,  is  only  a course  which  pre- 
pares a young  man  to  educate  himself.  It  is  giving 
him  the  keys  of  knowledge.  But  who  will  sit 
down  contentedly  and  cease  to  make  effort,  the 
moment  he  obtains  the  keys  to  the  most  valuable 
of  treasures  ? It  is  strange,  indeed,  that  we  should 
so  long  have  talked  of  finishing  an  education,  when 
we  have  only  just  prepared  ourselves  to  begin  it. 

If  any  young  man  at  twenty,  twenty-five,  or 
thirty,  finds  himself  ignorant,  whether  the  fault  is 
his  own  or  that  of  others,  let  him  not  for  one  single 
moment  regard  his  age  as  presenting  a serious  ob- 
stacle to  improvement.  Should  these  remarks  meet 
the  eye  of  any  such  individual,  let  me  prevail  with 
him,  when  I urge  him  to  make  an  effort.  Not 
a momentary  effort,  either;  let  him  take  time  for 
his  experiment.  Even  Rome  was  not  built  in  a 
day ; and  he  who  thinks  to  build  up  a well  regulated 
and  highly  enlightened  mind  in  a few  weeks,  or 
even  months,  has  yet  to  learn  the  depths  of  his  own 
ignorance. 

It  would  be  easy  to  cite  a long  list  of  men  who 
commenced  study  late  in  life,  and  yet  finally  be^ 
18 


206  TttE  YOUNG  man’s  GUit)E. 

Examples  of  late  students.  Dr.  Franklin.  Our  indolence. 


came  eminent ; and  this,  too,  with  no  instructors 
but  themselves  and  their  books.  Some  have  met 
with  signal  success,  who  commenced  after  forty 
years  of  age.  Indeed,  no  reason  can  be  shown,  why 
the  mind  may  not  improve  as  long,  at  least,  as  the 
body.  But  all  experience  goes  to  prove  that  with 
those  whose  habits  are  judicious,  the  physical  frame 
does  not  attain  perfection,  in  every  respect,  till 
thhty-five  or  forty. 

It  is  indeed  said  that  knowledge,  if  it  could  be 
acquired  thus  late  in  life,  would  be  easily  forgotten. 
This  is  true,  if  it  be  that  kind  of  knowledge  for 
which  we  have  no  immediate  use.  But  if  it  be 
of  a practical  character,  it  will  not  fail  to  be  re- 
membered. Franklin  was  always  learning,  till 
death.  And  what  he  learned  he  seldom  forgot, 
because  he  had  an  immediate  use  for  it.  I have 
said,  it  is  a great  point  to  be  convinced  of  the  im- 
portance of  knowledge.  I might  add  that  it  is  a 
point  of  still  greater  consequence  to  feel  our  own 
ignorance.  ‘To  know  ourselves  diseased,  (moral- 
ly) is  half  our  cure.’  To  know  our  own  ignorance 
is  the  first  step  to  knowledge;  and  other  things 
being  alike,  our  progress  in  knowledge  will  gene- 
rally be  in  proportion  to  our  sense  of  the  want  of  it. 

The  strongest  plea  which  indolence  is  apt  to 
put  in,  is,  that  we  have  no  time  for  study.  Many 
a young  man  has  had  some  sense  of  his  own  ig- 
norance, and  a corresponding  thirst  for  knowledge, 
but  alas ! the  idea  was  entertained  that  he  had  no 


ON  BOOKS  AND  STUDY.  207 

Time  enough  for  study.  Alfred.  Franklin.  Frederick.  Napoleon. 


time  to  read  — no  time  to  study  — no  time  to  think. 
And  resting  on  this  plea  as  satisfactory,  he  has 
gone  down  to  the  grave  the  victim  not  only  of 
indolence  and  ignorance,  but  perhaps  of  vice  ; — 
vice,  too,  which  he  might  have  escaped  with  a little 
more  general  intelligence. 

No  greater  mistake  exists  than  that  which  so  often 
haunts  the  human  mind,  that  we  cannot  find  time 
for  things ; things,  too,  which  we  have  previously 
decided  for  ourselves  that  we  ought  to  do.  Alfred, 
king  of  England,  though  he  performed  more  busi- 
ness than  almost  any  of  his  subjects,  found  time 
for  study.  Franklin,  in  the  midst  of  all  his  labors, 
found  time  to  dive  mto  the  depths  of  philosophy, 
and  explore  an  untrodden  path  of  science.  Fred- 
erick the  Great,  with  an  empire  at  his  direction,  in 
the  midst  of  war,  and  on  the  eve  of  battles,  found 
time  to  revel  in  all  the  charms  of  philosophy,  and 
to  feast  himself  on  the  rich  viands  of  intellect. 
Bonaparte,  with  Europe  at  his  disposal,  with  kings 
at  his  ante-chamber  begging  for  vacant  thrones,  and 
at  the  head  of  thousands  of  men  whose  destinies 
were  suspended  on  his  arbitrary  pleasure,  had  time 
to  converse  with  books.  Csesar,  when  he  had  curb- 
ed the  spirits  of  the  Roman  people,  and  was  throng- 
ed with  visitors  from  the  remotest  kingdoms,  found 
time  for  intellectual  cultivation.  The  late  Dr.  Rush, 
and  the  still  later  Dr.  Dwight,  are  eminent  instances 
of  what  may  be  done  for  the  cultivation  of  tho 
mind,  in  the  midst  of  the  greatest  pressure  of  othev 
occupation. 


SOS  THE  TOUNG  MAn’s  GUIDE. 

Other  examples.  Most  persons  can  find  leisure  for  reading. 

On  this  point,  it  may  be  useful  to  mention  the  re- 
sults of  my  own  observation.  At  no  period  of  my 
life  am  I conscious  of  having  made  greater  pro- 
gress than  I have  sometimes  done  while  laboring 
in  the  summer ; and  almost  incessantly  too.  It  is 
true,  I read  but  little ; yet  that  little  was  well  un- 
derstood and  thoroughly  digested.  Almost  all  the 
knowledge  I possess  of  ancient  history  was  obtain- 
ed in  this  way,  in  one  year.  Of  course,  a particular 
knowledge  could  not  be  expected,  under  such  cir- 
cumstances; but  the  general  impressions  and  lead- 
ing facts  which  were  imbibed,  will  be  of  very  great 
value  to  me,  as  I trust,  through  life.  And  I am 
acquainted  with  one  or  two  similar  instances. 

It  is  true  that  mechanics  and  manufacturers,  as 
well  as  men  of  most  other  occupations,  find  fewer 
leisure  hours  than  most  farmers.  The  latter  class 
of  people  are  certainly  moi*e  favorably  situated 
than  any  other.  But  it  is  also  true  that  even  the 
former,  almost  without  exception,  can  command  a 
small  portion  of  their  time  every  day,  for  the  pur- 
poses of  mental  improvement,  if  they  are  determin- 
ed on  it.  Few  individuals  can  be  found  in  the 
community,  who  have  not  as  much  leisure  as  I 
had  during  the  summer  I have  mentioned.  The 
great  point  is  to  have  the  necessary  disposition  to 
improve  it;  and  a second  point,  of  no  small  im- 
portance, is  to  have  at  hand,  proper  means  of  in- 
struction. Of  the  latter  I shall  speak  presently. 

The  reason  why  laboring  men  make  such  rapid 


ON  BOOKS  AND  STUDY.  209 

Mental  progress  of  laborers.  Pursuit  of  knowledge  in  difficulties. 


progress  in  knowledge,  in  proportion  to  the  num- 
ber of  hours  they  devote  to  study,  appears  to  me 
obvious.  The  mental  appetite  is  keen,  and  they 
devour  with  a relish.  Wliat  little  they  read  and 
understand,  is  thought  over,  and  perhaps  conversed 
upon,  during  the  long  interval;  and  becomes  truly 
the  property  of  the  reader.  Whereas  those  who 
make  study  a business,  never  possess  a healthy  ap- 
petite for  knowledge ; they  are  always  cloyed,  no- 
thing is  well  digested ; and  the  result  of  their 
continued  effort  is  either  a superficial  or  a distorted 
view  of  a great  many  things,  without  a thorough 
or  practical  understanding  of  any. 

I do  not  propose,  in  a work  of  this  kind,  to 
recommend  to  young  men  what  particular  books  on 
any  subject  they  ought  to  study.  First,  because  it 
is  a matter  of  less  importance  than  many  others, 
and  T cannot  find  room  to  treat  of  every  thing. 

He  who  has  the  determination  to  make  progress, 
will  do  so,  either  with  or  without  books,  though 
these  are  certainly  useful.  But  an  old  piece  of 
newspaper,  or  a straggling  leaf  from  some  book,  or 
an  inscription  on  a monument,  or  the  monument 
itself  — and  works  of  nature  as  well  as  of  art,  will 
be  books  to  him.  Secondly,  because  there  is  such 
an  extensive  range  for  selection.  But,  thirdly, 
because  it  may  often  be  left  to  the  reader’s  o^vn 
taste  and  discretion.  He  will  probably  soon  dis- 
cover whether  he  is  deriving  solid  or  permanent 
benefit  fi'om  his  studies,  and  govej*n  liimself 
]8-^' 


210  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Importance  of  geography  to  the  young.  Method  of  study. 

cordingly.  Or  if  he  have  a friend  at  hand,  who 
will  be  likely  to  make  a judicious  selection,  with 
a proper  reference  to  his  actual  progress  and 
wants,  he  would  do  wrong  not  to  avail  himself  of 
that  friend’s  opinion. 

I will  now  mention  a few  of  the  particular  studies 
to  which  he  who  would  educate  himself  for  useful- 
ness should  direct  his  attention. 

].  GEOGRAPHY. 

As  it  is  presumed  that  every  one  whom  I address 
reads  newspapers  more  or  less,  I must  be  per- 
mitted to  recommend  that  you  read  them  with 
good  maps  of  every  quarter  of  the  world  before 
you,  and  a geography  and  correct  gazetteer  at 
hand.  When  a place  is  mentioned,  observe  its 
situation  on  the  map,  read  an  account  of  it  in  the 
gazetteer,  and  a more  particular  description  in  the 
geography.  Or  if  you  choose  to  go  through  with 
the  article,  and  get  some  general  notions  of  the 
subject,  and  afterwards  go  back  and  read  it  a sec- 
ond time,  in  the  manner  proposed,  to  this  I have  no 
objection. 

Let  me  insist,  strongly,  on  the  importance  of 
this  method  of  reading.  It  may  seem  slow  at  fii'st ; 
but  believe  me,  you  will  be  richly  repaid  in  the 
end.  Even  in  the  lyceum,  where  the  subject 
seems  to  demand  it,  and  the  nature  of  the  case  will 
admit,  it  ought  to  be  required  of  lecturers  and  dis- 
putants, to  explain  every  thing  in  passing,  either 


STUDY  OF  GEOGRAPHY.  211 

Benefits  of  studying  geography.  How  to  study  history 

by  reference  to  books  themselves  on  the  spot,  or 
by  maps,  apparatus,  diagrams,  &c ; with  which,  it 
is  plain,  that  every  lyceum  ought  to  be  furnished. 
The  more  intelligent  would  lose  nothing,  while  the 
less  so,  would  gain  much,  by  this  practice.  The 
expense  of  these  things,  at  the  present  time,  is  so 
trifling,  that  no  person,  or  association  of  persons, 
whose  object  is  scientific  improvement,  should,  by 
any  means,  dispense  with  them. 

No  science  expands  the  mind  of  a young  man 
more,  at  the  same  time  that  it  secures  his  cheerful 
attention,  than  geography  — I mean  if  pursued  in 
the  foregoing  manner.  Its  use  is  so  obvious  that 
the  most  stupid  cannot  fail  to  see  it.  Much  is  said, 
I know,  of  differences  of  taste  on  this,  as  well  as 
every  other  subject;  but  I can  hardly  believe  that 
any  young  person  can  be  entirely  without  taste  for 
geographical  knowledge.  It  is  next  to  actual  trav- 
els ; and  who  does  not  delight  m seeing  new  places 
and  new  objects  ? 


2.  HISTORY. 

Next  in  order  as  regards  both  interest  and  im- 
portance, will  be  a knowledge  of  history,  with 
some  attention  at  the  same  time  to  chronology. 
Here,  too,  the  starting  point  wdll  be  the  same  as  in 
the  former  case.  Some  circumstance  or  event 
mentioned  at  the  lyceum,  or  in  the  newspaper, 
will  excite  curiosity,  and  lead  the  way  to  inquiry. 
I tliink  it  well,  however,  to  have  but  one  leading 


212  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Illustration  of  the  method  proposed.  Perseverance  in  if. 

science  in  view  at  a time ; that  is,  if  geography  be 
the  object,  let  history  and  almost  every  thing  else 
be  laid  aside  for  that  time,  in  order  to  secure,  and 
hold  fast  the  geographical  information  which  is 
needed.  After  a few  weeks  or  months,  should  he 
wish  to  pursue  history,  let  the  student,  for  some 
time  confine  himself  chiefly,  perhaps  exclusively, 
to  that  branch. 

The  natural  order  of  commencing  and  pursuing 
this  branch  without  an  instructor,  and  I think  in 
schools  also,  is  the  following.  For  example,  you 
take  up  a book,  or  it  may  be  a newspaper,  since 
these  are  swarming  every  where  at  the  present 
time,  and  read  that  a person  has  just  deceased, 
who  was  at  Yorktown,  in  Virginia,  during  the 
whole  siege,  in  the  American  revolution.  I am 
supposing  here  that  you  have  already  learned 
where  Yorktown  is;  for  geography,  to  some  extent 
at  least,  should  precede  history ; but  if  not,  I would 
let  it  pass  for  the  moment,  since  w^e  cannot  do 
every  thing  at  once,  and  proceed  to  inquire  about 
the  siege,  and  revolution.  If  you  have  any  books 
whatever,,  on  history,  within  your  reach,  do  not 
give  up  the  pursuit  till  you  have  attained  a measure 
of  success.  Find  out,  when  the  siege  in  question 
happened,  by  whom,  and  by  how  many  thousand 
troops  it  was  carried  on ; and  who  and  how  many 
the  besieged  were. 

He  who  follows  out  this  plan,  will  soon  find  his 
mind  reaching  beyond  the  mere  events  alluded  to 


STUDY  OF  HISTORY.  213 

Farther  illustrations.  Ignorance  at  the  present  day,  disgraceful. 


in  the  newspaper,  both  forward  and  backward. 
As  in  the  exaniple  already  mentioned,  for  I cannot 
think  of  a better ; — What  were  the  consequences 
of  this  siege  ? — Did  it  help  to  bring  about  peace, 
and  how  soon?  — And  did  the  two  nations  ever 
engage  in  war  afterward  ? — If  so,  how  soon,  and 
with  what  results  ? What  became  of  the  French 
troops  and  of  the  good  La  Fayette  ? This  would 
lead  to  the  study  of  French  history  for  the  last  forty 
years.  On  the  other  hand.  Where  had  Washing- 
ton and  La  Fayette  and  Cornwallis  been  employed, 
previous  to  the  siege  of  Yorktown?  What  battles 
had  they  fought,  and  with  what  success?  What 
led  to  the  quarrel  between  Great  Britain  and  the 
United  States  ? &c.  Thus  we  should  naturally  go 
backward,  step  by  step,  until  we  should  get  much 
of  modern  history  clustered  round  this  single  event 
of  the  siege  of  Yorktown.  The  same  course 
should  be  pursued  in  the  case  of  any  other  event, 
•iither  ancient  or  modern.  If  newspapers  are  not 
thus  read,  they  dissipate  the  mind,  and  probably  do 
about  as  much  harm  as  good. 

It  is  deemed  disgraceful  — and  ought  to  be  — 
for  any  young  man  at  this  day  to  be  ignorant  of 
the  geography  and  history  of  the  country  in  which 
he  lives.  And  yet  it  is  no  uncommon  occurrence. 
However  it  argues  much  against  the  excellence  of 
our  systems  of  education,  that  almost  every  child 
should  be  carried  apparently  through  a wide  range 
of  science,  and  over  the  whole  material  universe, 


214 


THE  YOUNG  MAN  S GUIDE. 


Arithmetic.  Its  importance.  An  illustration. 

and  yet  know  nothing,  or  next  to  nothing,  practi- 
cally, of  his  own  country. 

3.  ARITHMETIC. 

No  young  man  is  excusable  who  is  destitute 
of  a knowledge  of  Arithmetic.  It  is  probable, 
however,  that  no  individual  will  read  this  book, 
who  has  not  some  knowledge  of  the  fundamental 
branches;  numeration,  addition,  subtraction,  mul- 
tiplication, and  division.  But  with  these,  every 
person  has  the  key  to  a thorough  acquaintance 
with  the  whole  subject,  so  far  as  his  situation  in 
life  requires.  To  avail  himself  of  these  keys  to 
mathematical  knowledge,  he  must  pursue  a course 
not  unlike  that  which  I have  recommended  in  re- 
lation to  geography  and  history.  He  must  seize 
on  every  circumstance  which  occurs  in  his  read- 
ing, where  reckoning  is  required,  and  if  possible, 
stop  at  once  and  compute  it.  Or  if  not,  let  the 
place  be  marked,  and  at  the  first  leisure  moment, 
Jet  him  turn  to  it,  and  make  the  estimates. 

Suppose  he  reads  of  a shipwreck.  The  crew  is 
said  to  consist  of  thirty  men  besides  the  captain 
and  mate,  \vith  three  hundred  and  thirteen  passen- 
gers, and  a company  of  sixty  grenadiers.  The  cap- 
tain and  mate,  and  ten  of  the  crew  escaped  in  the 
long  boat.  The  rest  were  drowned,  except  twelve 
of  the  grenadiers,  who  clung  to  a floating  fragment 
of  the  wreck  till  they  were  taken  off  by  another 
vessel.  Now  is  there  a single  person  in  existence, 


Study  of  arithmetic.  215 

On  making  arithmetic  practical.  Value  of  chemistry. 

who  would  read  such  an  account,  without  being 
anxious  to  know  how  many  persons  in  the  whole 
were  lost  ? Yet  nine  readers  in  ten  w'ould  not  know ; 
and  why  ? Simply  because  they  will  not  stop  to  use 
what  little  addition  and  subtraction  they  possess. 

I do  not  say  that,  in  reading  to  a company,  who 
did  not  expect  it,  a young  man  would  be  required 
to  stop  and  make  the  computation  ; but  I do  say 
that  in  all  ordinary  cases,  no  person  is  excusable 
who  omits  it,  for  it  is  a flagrant  wrong  to  his  own 
mind.  Long  practice,  it  is  true,  will  render  it  un- 
necessary for  an  individual  to  pause,  in  order  to 
estimate  a sum  like  that  abovementioned.  Many, 
indeed  most  persons  who  are  familar  with  figures, 
might  compute  these  numbers  while  reading,  and 
without  the  slightest  pause  ; but  it  certainly  re- 
quires some  practice.  And  the  most  important 
use  of  arithmetical  studies  (except  as  a discipline 
to  the  mind)  is  to  enable  us  to  reckon  without 
slates  and  pencils.  He  has  but  a miserable  know- 
ledge of  arithmetic,  who  is  no  arithmetician  with- 
out a pen  or  pencil  in  his  hand.  These  are  but  the 
ladders  upon  which  he  should  ascend  to  the  science, 
and  not  the  science  itself. 

4.  CHEMISTRY  AND  OTHER  NATURAL  SCIENCES. 

If  I were  to  name  one  branch,  as  more  impor- 
tant to  a young  man  than  any  other,  — next  to  the 
merest  elements  of  reading  and  writing  — it  would 
be  chemistry.  Not  a mere  smattering  of  it,  how- 


216  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Chemistry  for  farmers.  Botany.  Natural  History.  Geography. 


ever ; for  this  usually  does  about  as  much  harm  as 
good.  But  a thorough  knowledge  of  a few  of  the 
simple  elements  of  bodies,  and  some  of  their  mosn 
interesting  combinations,  such  as  are  witnessed  every 
day  of  our  lives,  but  which,  for  want  of  a little  know 
ledge  of  chemistry,  are  never  understood,  would 
do  more  to  interest  a young  man  in  the  business  in 
which  he  may  be  employed,  than  almost  any  thing 
I could  name.  For  there  is  hardly  a single  trade 
or  occupation  whatever,  that  does  not  embrace  a 
greater  or  less  number  of  chemical  processes.  Che- 
mistry is  of  very  high  importance  even  to  the  gar- 
dener and  the  farmer. 

There  are  several  other  branches  which  come 
under  the  general  head  of  Natural  Science, 
which  I recommend  to  your  attention.  Such  are 
Botany,  or  a knowledge  of  plants ; Natural  His- 
tory, or  a knowledge  of  animals ; and  Geology, 
or  a general  knowledge  of  the  rocks  and  stones  of 
which  the  earth  on  which  we  live  is  composed.  1 
do  not  think  these  are  equally  important  with  the 
knowledge  of  chemisty,  but  they  are  highly  in- 
teresting, and  by  no  means  without  their  value. 

5.  grammar  and  composition. 

The  foundation  of  a knowledge  of  Grammar  is, 
in  my  view.  Composition ; and  composition,  whe- 
ther learned  early  or  late,  is  best  acquh*ed  by  letter 
writing.  This  habit,  early  commenced,  and  judi- 
ciously but  perseveringly  followed,  will  in  time, 


GRAMMAR  AND  COMPOSITION.  Sl7 

Practical  grammarians.  Composition.  Epistolary  correspondence 


ensure  the  art  not  only  of  composing  well,  but  also 
grammatically*  I know  this  position  is  sometimes 
doubted,  but  the  testimony  is  so  strong,  that  thd 
point  seems  to  me  fully  established. 

It  is  related  in  Ramsay’s  Life  of  Washington^ 
that  many  individuals,  whOj  before  the  war  of  the 
American  Revolution,  could  scarcely  write  their 
names,  became,  in  the  progress  of  that  war,  able  to 
compose  letters  which  were  not  only  intelligible 
and  correct,  but  which  would  have  done  credit  to 
a profound  grammarian.  The  reason  of  this  un- 
doubtedly was,  that  they  were  thrown  into  situa- 
tions where  they  were  obliged  to  write  much  and 
often,  and  in  such  a manner  as  to  be  clearly  under- 
stood. Perhaps  the  misinterpretation  of  a single 
doubtful  word  or  sentence  might  have  been  the 
ruin  of  an  army,  or  even  of  the  causCi  Thus  they 
had  a motive  to  write  accurately ; and  long  prac^ 
tice,  with  a powerful  motive  before  them,  render-^ 
ed  them  successful. 

Nor  is  it  necessary  that  motives  so  pov^^erftil 
should  always  exist,  in  order  to  produce  this  re- 
sult;— it  is  sufticient  that  there  be  a motive  to 
write  well,  and  to  persevere  in  writing  well.  I have 
known  several  pedlars  and  traders,  whose  business 
led  to  the  same  consequences. 

6.  LETTER  WRITING. 

But  what  I have  seen  most  successful,  is,  the 
practice  of  common  letter  writing,  from  friend  W 
19 


218  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Study  of  Grammar  at  school  useful,  though  not  indispensable. 


friend,  on  any  topic  which  happened  to  occur,  either 
ordinary,  or  extraordinary ; with  the  mutual  under- 
standing and  desire  that  each  should  criticise  freely 
on  the  other’s  composition.  I have  known  more 
than  one  individual,  who  became  a good  writer  from 
this  practice,  with  little  aid  from  grammatical  rules ; 
and  without  any  direct  instruction  at  all. 

These  remarks  are  not  made  to  lessen  the  value 
which  any  young  man  may  have  put  upon  the 
studies  of  grammar  and  composition,  as  pursued  in 
our  schools;  but  rather  to  show  that  a course  at 
school  is  not  absolutely  indispensable;  and  to  en- 
courage those  who  are  never  likely  to  enjoy  the 
latter  means,  to  make  use  of  means  not  yet  out  of 
their  reach,  and  which  have  often  been  successful 
But  lest  there  should  be  an  apparent  contradiction 
in  some  of  my  remarks,  it  will  be  necessary  to  say 
that  I think  the  practice  of  familiar  letter  writing, 
from  our  earliest  years,  even  at  school,  should, 
in  every  instance,  have  a much  more  prominent 
place  than  is  usually  assigned  it ; and  the  study  of 
books  on  Grammar  and  Composition  one  much 
less  prominent. 

7.  VOYAGES,  TRAVELS,  AND  BIOGRAPHY* 

For  mere  reading,  well  selected  Voyages  and 
Travels  are  among  the  best  works  for  young  men ; 
particularly  for  those  who  find  little  taste  for  read- 
ing, and  wish  to  enkindle  it ; and  whose  geograph- 
ical knowledge  is  deficient. 


BIOGRAPHY,  NOVELS,  &C.  219 

Study  of  Biography.  Are  novels  useful  ? 

Well  written  biography  is  next  in  importance, 
and  usually  so  in  interest;  and  so  improving  to 
the  character  is  this  species  of  composition,  that  it 
really  ought  to  be  regarded  as  a separate  branch  of 
education,  as  much  as  history  or  geography;  and 
treated  accordingly.  In  the  selection  of  both  these 
species  of  writing  the  aid  of  an  intelligent,  expe- 
rienced and  judicious  friend  would  be  of  very  great 
service ; and  happy  is  he  who  has  such  a treasure 
at  hand. 


8.  NOVELS. 

As  to  NOVELS  it  is  difficult  to  say  what  advice 
ought  to  be  given.  At  first  view  they  seem  unne- 
cessary, wholly  so ; and  from  this  single  considera- 
tion. They  interest  and  improve  just  in  proportion 
as  the  fiction  they  contain  is  made  to  resemble 
reality ; and  hence  it  might  be  inferred,  and  natu- 
rally enough,  too,  that  reality  would  in  all  cases  be 
preferable  to  that  which  imitates  it.  But  to  this  it 
may  be  replied,  that  we  have  few  books  of  narra- 
tive and  biography,  which  are  written  with  so 
much  spirit  as  some  works  of  fiction ; and  that 
until  those  departments  are  better  filled,  fiction, 
properly  selected,  should  be  admissible.  But  if  fic- 
tion be  allowable  at  all,  it  is  only  under  the  guid- 
ance of  age  and  experience;  — and  here  there  is 
even  a more  pressing  need  of  a friend  than  in  the 
cases  already  mentioned. 

On  the  whole,  it  is  believed  to  be  better  for 


g20  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Jf  not,  why  f Influence  of  newspapers.  Their  benefits. 

young  men  who  have  little  leisure  for  reading,  and 
who  wish  to  make  the  most  they  can  of  that  little, 
to  abandon  novels  wholly.  If  they  begin  to  read 
them,  it  is  difficult  to  tell  to  what  an  excess  they 
may  go  ; but  if  they  never  read  one  in  their  whole 
lives,  they  will  sustain  no  great  loss.  Would  not 
the  careful  study  of  a single  chapter  of  Watts’s  Im- 
provement of  the  Mind,  be  of  more  real  practical 
value  than  the  perusal  of  all  that  the  best  novel 
writers,  — Walter  Scott  not  excepted,  — have  ever 
writteu  ? 


9.  OF  NEWSPAPERS. 

Among  other  means  both  of  mental  and  moral 
Improvement  at  the  present  day,  are  periodical 
publications,  The  multiplicity  and  cheapness  of 
these  sources  of  knowledge  renders  them  acces- 
sible to  all  classes  of  the  community.  And  though 
their  influence  were  to  be  as  evil  as  the  frogs  of 
Egypt  we  could  not  escape  it. 

Doubtless  they  produce  much  evil,  though  their 
tendency  on  the  whole  is  believed  to  be  salutary. 
But  wisdom  is  necessary,  in  order  to  derive  the 
greatest  amount  of  benefit  from  them;  and  here, 
perhaps,  more  than  any  where  else,  do  the  young 
need  the  counsels  of  experience.  I am  not  about 
to  direct  vs^hat  particular  newspapers  and  maga^ 
zines  they  ought  to  read;  this  is  a point  which 
their  friends  and  relatives  must  assist  them  in  de- 
termining. My  purpose  is  simply  to  point  to  a few 


OF  NEWSPAPERS. 


221 


Several  rules  for  selecting  a newspaper. 

principles  which  should  guide  both  the  young  and 
those  who  advise  them,  in  making  the  selection. 

1.  In  the  first  place,  do  not  seek  for  your  guide 
a paper  which  is  just  commencing  its  existence, 
unless  you  have  reason  to  think  the  character  of 
its  conductors  is  such  as  you  approve. 

2.  Avoid,  unless  your  particular  occupation  re- 
quires it,  a business  paper.  Otherwise  your  head 
will  become  so  full  of  ‘ arrivals  ’ and  ‘ departures,’ 
and  ‘ prices  current,’  and  ‘ news,’  that  you  will  hard- 
ly find  room  for  any  thing  else. 

3.  Do  not  take  a paper  which  dwells  on  nothing 
but  the  details  of  human  depravity.  It  will  indeed, 
for  a time,  call  forth  a sensibility  to  the  woes  of 
mankind ; but  the  final  result  will  probably  be  a 
stupidity  and  insensibility  to  human  suffering  which 
you  would  give  much  to  remove. 

4.  Avoid  those  papers  which,  awed  by  the  cry 
for  short  and  light  articles,  have  rendered  their 
pages  mere  columns  of  insulated  facts  or  useless 
scraps,  or  what  is  still  worse,  of  unnatural  and  sick- 
ening love  stories. 

Lastly,  do  not  take  a paper  which  sneers  at  re- 
ligion. It  is  quite  enough  that  many  periodicals 
do,  in  effect,  take  a course  which  tends  to  irreli- 
gion,  by  leaving  this  great  subject  wholly  out  of 
sight.  But  when  they  openly  sneer  at  and  ridicule 
the  most  sacred  things,  leave  them  at  once.  ‘ Evil 
communications  coiTupt’  the  best  ‘manners;’  and 
though  the  sentiment  may  not  at  once  be  received^ 
19=*^ 


Q22  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE 

Amazing  influence  of  newspapers.  Study  of  politics, 

I can  assure  wy  youthful  readers  that  there  are  no 
publications  which  have  more  direct  effect  upon 
their  lives,  than  these  unpretending  companions; 
and  perhaps  the  very  reason  is  because  we  least 
puspect  them.  Agauist  receiving  deep  or  perma- 
nent impressions  from  the  Bible,  the  sermon,  or  the 
boo^  of  any  kind,  we  are  on  our  watch,  but  who 
thinks  of  having  his  principles  contaminated,  or 
affected  much  in  any  way,  merely  by  the  news- 
paper? Yet  I am  greatly  mistaken,  if  these  very 
monitors  do  not  have  more  influence,  after  all,  in 
forming  the  minds,  the  manners,  and  the  morals 
(shall  I add,  the  religious  character^  even  ? ) of  the 
rising  generation,  than  all  the  other  means  which  1 
have  mentioned,  put  together. 

How  important,  in  this  view,  it  becomes,  that 
your  newspaper  reading  should  be  well  selected, 
Let  me  again  repeat  the  request,  that  in  selecting 
those  papers  which  sustain  an  appropriate  charac-? 
ter,  you  will  seek  the  advice  of  those  whom  you 
deem  most  able  and  judicious ; and  so  far  as  you 
think  them  disinterested,  and  worthy  of  your  con^ 
fidence,  endeavor  to  follow  it. 

Politics,  As  to  the  study  of  politics,  in  the  usual 
sense  of  the  term,  it  certainly  (jgnnot  be  advisable. 
Nothing  appears  to  me  more  disgusting  than  to  see 
young  men  rushing  into  the  field  of  political  war- 
fare, and  taking  sides  as  fiercely  as  if  they  laid  claim 
to  infallibility,  where  their  fatliers  and  grandfather^ 
piodestly  confess  ignorance, 


OF  NEWSPAPERS. 


223 


Ignorance  on  some  points. 


Wholly  inexcusable. 


At  the  same  time,  in  a government  like  ours, 
where  the  highest  offices  are  in  the  gift  of  the  peo- 
ple, and  within  the  reach  of  every  young  man  of 
tolerable  capacity,  it  would  be  disgraceful  not  to 
study  the  history  and  constitution  of  our  own 
country,  and  closely  to  watch  all  legislative  move- 
ments, at  least  in  the  councils  of  the  nation.  The 
time  is  not  far  distant,  it  is  hoped,  when  these 
will  be  made  every  day  subjects  in  our  elemen- 
tary schools;  and  when  no  youth  will  arrive  at 
manhood,  as  thousands,  and,  I Vv^as  going  to  say, 
millions  now  do,  without  understanding  clearly  a 
single  article  in  the  Constitution  of  the  United 
States,  or  even  in  that  of  the  State  in  which  he 
resides:  nor  even  how  his  native  state  is  repre- 
sented in  Congress. 

Again,  most  young  men  will  probably,  sooner  or 
later,  vote  for  rulers  in  the  town,  state,  and  nation 
to  which  they  belong.  Should  they  vote  at  random  ? 
Or  what  is  little  better,  take  their  opinions  upon 
trust  ? Or  shall  they  examine  for  themselves ; and 
go  to  the  polls  with  their  eyes  open  ? At  a day  like 
the  present,  nothing  appears  to  me  more  obvious 
than  that  young  men  ought  to  understand  what 
they  are  doing  when  they  concern  themselves  with 
publBJnCii  or  public  measures. 


10.  KEEPING  A JOURNAL. 


^ I have  already  spoken  of  the  importance  df  let- 
ter writing.  The  keeping  of  a journal  is  scarc&y 


224  THE  YOUNG  MANS  GUIDE. 

Keeping  a journal.  Specimen.  A better  method . 

less  SO,  provided  it  be  done  in  a proper  manner. 
I have  seen  journals,  however,  which,  aside  from 
the  fact  that  they  improve  the  handwritings  and 
encourage  method,  could  have  been  of  very  little 
use.  A young  agriculturist  kept  a journal  for  many 
years,  of  which  the  following  is  a specimen. 

1813. 

July  2.  Began  our  haying.  Mowed  in  the  fore- 
noon, and  raked  in  the  afternoon. 
Weather  good. 

3.  Continued  haying.  Mowed.  Got  in 

one  load.  Cloudy. 

4.  'Independence.  Went,  in  the  afternoon, 

to . 

5.  Stormy.  Did  nothing  out  of  doors. 

This  method  of  keeping  a journal  was  continued 
for  many  years ; and  only  discontinued,  because  it 
was  found  useless.  A better  and  more  useful  sort 
of  journal  for  these  four  days,  would  have  read 
something  like  the  following. 

1813. 

July  2.  Our  haying  season  commenced.  How 
fond  I am  of  this  employments^  How 
useful  an  article  hay  is,  too,  esjpcially 
in  this  climate,  during  our  long  and 
cold  winters!  We  have  fine  weather 
to  begin  with,  and  I hope  it  will  coi>- 
tinue. 


KEEPING  A JOURNAL. 


225 


Continuation  of  the  subject  of  keeping  journals. 

I think  a very  great  improvement 
might  be  made  in  our  rakes.  Why 
need  they  be  so  heavy  for  light  rak- 
mg?  We  could  take  up  the  heavier 
ones  when  it  became  necessary, 

July  3.  To-day  I have  worked  rather  too  hard 
in  order  to  get  in  some  of  our  hay,  for 
there  is  a prospect  of  rain,  I am  not 
quite  sure,  however,  but  I hurt  myself 
more  by  drinking  too  much  cold  wa- 
ter than  by  over-working.  Will  try  to 
do  better  to-morrow. 

4.  Have  heard  a few  cannon  fired,  and  a 
spouting  oration  delivered,  and  seen  a 
few  toasts  drank ; and  what  does  it  all 
amount  to  ? Is  this  way  of  keeping  the 
day  of  independence  really  useful?  I 
doubt  it.  Who  knows  but  the  value  of 
the  wine  which  has  been  drank,  ex- 
pended among  the  poor,  would  have 
done  more  towards  real  independence, 
than  all  this  parade  ? 

5 Rainy.  Would  it  not  have  been  better 
had  I staid  at  home  yesterday,  while 
the  weather  was  fair,  and  gone  on  with 
haying  ? Several  acres  of  father’s  grass 
want  cutting  very  much.  I am  more 
and  more  sick  of  going  to  indepenr 
dence.  If  I live  till  another  year,  I 
hope  I shall  learn  to  ‘ make  hay  whilq 
tlie  sun  shines.’ 


2*26  THE  YOUNG  MAn’s  GUIDE. 

Carrying  a blank  book  and  pencil. 


Its  use. 


1 selected  a common  agricultural  employment 
to  illustrate  my  subject,  first,  because  I suppose  a 
considerable  proportion  of  my  readers  are  farmers, 
and  secondly,  because  it  is  an  employment  which 
is  generally  supposed  to  furnish  little  or  nothing 
worth  recording.  The  latter,  however,  is  a great 
mistake.  Besides  writing  down  the  real  incidents 
that  occur,  many  of  which  would  be  interesting, 
and  some  of  them  highly  important  facts,  the 
thoughts,  which  the  circumstances  and  incidents 
of  an  agricultural  life  are  calculated  to  elicit,  are 
innumerable.  And  these  should  always  be  put 
down.  They  are  to  the  mere  detail  of  facts  and 
occurrences,  what  leaves  and  fruit  are  to  the  dry 
trunk  and  naked  limbs  of  a tree.  The  above  spe- 
cimen is  very  dry  indeed,  being  intended  only  as  a 
hint.  Pages,  instead  of  a few  lines,  might  some- 
times be  written,  when  our  leisure  permitted,  and 
thoughts  flowed  freely. 

One  useful  method  of  improving  the  mind,  and 
preparing  ourselves  for  usefulness,  would  be,  to 
carry  a small  blank  book  and  pencil  in  our  pockets, 
and  when  any  interesting  fact  occurred,  embrace 
the  first  spare  moment  to  put  it  down,  say  on  the 
right  hand  page ; and  either  then,  or  at  some 
future  time,  place  on  the  left  hand  page,  our  own 
reflections  about  it.  Some  of  the  most  useful  men 
in  the  world  owe  much  of  their  usefulness  to  a 
plan  lilte  this,  pmmptly  and  perseveringly  followed. 


PRESERVATION  OF  BOOKS. 


227 


Care  of  books.  Cleanliness  An  anecdote. 

Quotations  from  books  or  papers  might  also  be 
preserved  in  the  same  manner.  * 

Perhaps  it  may  be  thought,  at  first,  that  this  ad- 
vice is  not  in  keeping  with  the  caution  formerly 
given,  not  to  read  as  we  travel  about ; but  if  you 
reflect,  you  will  find  it  otherwise.  Reading  as  we 
travel,  and  at  meals,  and  the  recording  of  facts  and 
thoughts  which  occur,  are  things  as  different  as 
can  well  be  conceived.  The  latter  creates  and 
encourages  a demand  for  close  observation,  the 
former  discourages  and  even  suppresses  it. 

1].  PRESERVATION  OF  BOOKS  AND  PAPERS. 

Let  books  be  covered  as  soon  as  bought.  Never 
use  them  without  clean  hands.  They  show  the 
dirt  with  extreme  readiness,  and  it  is  not  easily 
removed.  I have  seen  books  in  which  might  be 
traced  the  careless  thumbs  and  fingers  of  the  last 
reader,  for  half  a dozen  or  a dozen  pages  in  suc- 
cession. 

I have  known  a gentleman  — quite  a literary 
man,  too  — who,  having  been  careful  of  his  books 
in  his  earlier  years,  and  having  recently  found 
them  occasionally  soiled,  charged  the  fault  on  those 
who  occasionally  visited  his  library.  At  last  he 
discovered  that  the  coal  dust  (for  he  kept  a coal  fire) 

* Some  persons  always  read  with  a pen  or  pencil  in  hand, 
and  when  a thought  occurs,  note  it  in  a little  book,  kept 
for  the  purpose. 


228  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE* 

Preservation  of  books  continued.  Numerous  odd  liaoits. 

settled  on  liis  hands,  and  was  rubbed  off  upon  his 
book  leaves  by  the  slight  friction  of  his  fingers  upon 
the  leaves  in  reading. 

Never  wet  your  finger  or  thumb  in  order  to  turn 
over  leaves.  Many  respectable  people  are  addicted 
to  this  habit,  but  it  is  a vulgar  one*  Besides,  it  is 
entirely  useless.  The  same  remarks  might  be  ap^ 
plied  to  the  habit  of  suffering  the  corners  of  the 
leaves  to  turn  up,  in  ‘ dog’s  ears.’  Keep  every  leaf 
smooth,  if  you  can.  Never  hold  a book  very  near 
the  fire,  nor  leave  it  in  the  hot  sun.  It  injures  its 
cover  materially,  and  not  a few  books  are  in  one  or 
both  of  these  ways  entirely  ruined. 

It  is  a bad  practice  to  spread  out  a book  with  the 
back  upwards.  It  loosens  the  leaves,  and  also 
exposes  it  in  other  respects.  You  will  rarely  find 
a place  to  lay  it  do\vn  which  is  entirely  clean,  and 
the  least  dust  on  the  leaves,  is  readily  observed. 

The  plan  of  turning  down  a leaf  to  enable  us  to 
remember  the  place,  I never  liked.  It  indulges 
the  memory  in  laziness.  For  myself,  if  I take 
much  interest  in  a book,  I can  remember  where  I 
left  off,  and  turn  at  once  to  the  place  without  a 
mark.  If  a mark  must  be  used  at  all,  however,  a 
slip  of  paper,  or  a piece  of  tape  or  ribbon  is  the 
best. 

When  you  have  done  usmg  a book  for  the  time, 
have  a place  for  it,  and  put  it  in  its  place.  How 
tnuch  time  and  patience  might  be  saved  if  this  rule 
Were  universally  followed ! Many  find  it  the  easiest 


PRESERVATION  OF  BOOKS.  229 

Legitimate  use  of  books.  Common  aouses] 

thing  in  the  w^orld  to  have  a place  for  every  book  in 
their  library,  and  to  keep  it  in  its  place.  They  can 
put  their  hands  upon  it  in  the  dark,  almost  as  well 
as  in  the  light. 

Never  allow  yourselves  to  use  books  for  any 
other  purpose  but  reading.  I have  seen  people 
recline  after  dinner  and  at  other  times,  with  books 
under  their  heads  for  a pillow.  Others  will  use  them 
to  cover  a tumbler,  bowl,  or  pitcher.  Others  again 
will  raise  the  window,  and  set  them  under  the  sash 
to  support  it ; and  next,  perhaps,  the  book  is  wet 
by  a sudden  shower  of  rain,  or  knocked  out  of  the 
window,  soiled  or  otherwise  injured,  or  lost.  1 
have  seen  people  use  large  books,  such  as  the 
family-bible,  or  encyclopedia,  to  raise  a seat,  es- 
pecially for  a child  at  table. 


CHAPTER  V. 

Social  anu  i^Joral  Kmprobement. 


Section  I.  Of  Female  Society,  in  general. 

No  young  man  is  fully  aware  how  much  he  is 
indebted  to  female  influence  in  forming  his  charac- 
ter. Happy  for  him  if  his  mother  and  sisters  were 
his  principal  companions  in  infancy.  I do  not 
mean  to  exclude  the  society  of  the  father,  of  course ; 
but  the  father’s  avocations  usually  call  him  away 
from  home,  or  at  least  from  the  immediate  presence 
of  his  children,  for  a very  considerable  proportion 
of  his  time. 

It  would  be  easy  to  show,  without  the  possibility 
of  mistake,  that  it  is  those  young  men  who  are  shut 
out  either  by  accident  or  design,  from  female  so- 
ciety, that  most  despise  it.  And  on  this  account,  I 
cannot  but  regret  the  su[)posed  necessity  which 
prevails  of  having  separate  schools  for  the  two 
sexes;  unless  it  ^v^ere  professional  ones  — I mean 
for  the  study  of  law,  medicine,  &c.  There  is  yet 
too  much  practical  Mohammedanism  and  Paganism 
in  our  manner  of  educating  the  young. 

If  we  examine  the  character  and  conduct  of 


FEMALE  SOCIETY. 


S31 


’ Influence  of  woman.  Folly  of  overlooking  it. 

woman  as  it  now  is,  and  as  history  shows  it  to 
have  been  in  other  periods  of  the  world,  we  shall 
see  that  much  of  the  good  and  evil  which  has  fallen 
upon  mankind  has  been  through  her  influence. 
We  may  see  that  man  has  often  been  influenced 
directly  by  the  soft  warning  words,  or  the  still  more 
powerful  weapons — tears  — of  woman,  to  do  that 
to  which  whole  legions  of  soldiers  never  could 
have  driven  him. 

Now  the  same  influence  which  is  exerted  by 
•mothers  and  wives  is  also  exerted,  in  a smaller  de- 
gree, by  sisters ; and  indeed  by  the  female  sex  gen- 
erally. When,  therefore,  I find  a young  man  pro- 
fessing a disregard  for  their  society,  or  frequent- 
ing only  the  worst  part  of  it,  I always  expect  to 
find  in  him  a soul  which  would  not  hesitate  long, 
in  the  day  of  temptation,  to  stoop  to  vicious  if  not 
base  actions.  Who  would  despise  the  fountain  at 
which  he  is  refreshed  daily?  Above  all,  who 
would  willingly  contaminate  it?  But  how  much 
better  than  this  is  it  to  show  by  our  language,  as 
well  as  deeds,  that  we  hold  this  portion  of  the 
world  in  disdain ; and  only  meet  with  them,  if  we 
meet  them  at  all,  to  comply  with  custom,  or  for 
purposes  still  more  unworthy;  instead  of  seeking 
their  society  as  a means  of  elevating  and  ennobling 
the  character? 

When,  therefore,  a young  man  begins  to  affect 
the  toil,  and  to  utter  sarcasms  against  the  female 
character,  it  may  be  set  down  as  a mark,  either  of 


232  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Mistake  of  certain  young  men.  Influences. 


a weak  head,  or  a base  heart ; for  it  cannot  be  good 
sense  or  gratitude,  or  justice,  or  honorable  feeling 
of  any  kind.  There  are  indeed  nations,  it  is  said, 
where  a boy,  as  soon  as  he  puts  off  the  dress  of  a 
child,  beats  his  mother,  to  show  his  manhood. 
These  people  live  in  the  interior  of  Africa,  and 
there  let  them  remain.  Let  us  be  careful  that  we 
do  not  degrade  the  sex,  in  the  same  manner,  by 
disrespectful  language,  or  actions,  or  thoughts.  We 
should  ‘ think  no  evil,’  on  this  subject ; for  let 
it  never  be  forgotten,  that  our  own  happiness  and 
elevation  of  character  must  ever  be  in  exact  propor- 
tion to  that  of  females.  Degrade  them,  and  we  de- 
grade ourselves;  neglect  to  raise  their  moral  and 
intellectual  condition  as  much  as  possible,  and  you 
neglect  the  readiest  and  most  certain  means  of 
promotmg,  in  the  end,  your  own  comfort  and  hap- 
piness. 

If  any  of  your  elder  associates  defame  the  sex, 
you  can  hardly  be  mistaken  when  you  suspect 
them  of  having  vitiated  their  taste  for  what  is  ex- 
cellent in  human  character  by  improper  intimacies, 
or  still  more  abominable  vices.  The  man  who 
says  he  has  never  found  a virtuous  female  charac- 
ter, you  may  rely  upon  it,  cannot  himself  be  vir- 
tuous. 

In  civilized  society  much  of  our  time  must 
necessarily  be  spent  among  females.  These  asso- 
ciations will  have  influence  upon  us.  Either  they 
are  perpetually  improving  our  character,  or,  on 


FEMALE  SOCIETY.  233 

Habitual  society  of  females.  Its  salutary  effects.  Protection. 


the  other  hand,  by  increasing  our  disregard  or 
disgust,  debasing  it.  Is  it  not  wisdom,  then,  to 
make  what  we  can  of  the  advantages  and  oppor- 
tunities which  their  society  affords  us 

The  very  presence  of  a respectable  female  will 
often  restrain  those  from  evil  whose  hearts  are  full 
of  it.  It  is  not  easy  to  talk  or  to  look  obscenely,  or 
even  to  behave  with  rudeness  and  ill  manners  un- 
der such  restraint.  Who  has  not  seen  the  jarring 
and  discordant  tones  of  a company  of  rude  men 
and  boys  hushed  at  once  by  the  sudden  arrival  of 
a lady  of  (Jignified  manners  and  appearance  ? 

The  frequent,  the  habitual  society  of  one  v/hom 
a youth  respects,  must  have  a happy  tendency  to 
make  him  love  honorable  conduct;  and  restrain 
his  less  honorable  feelings.  Frequent  restraint 
tends  to  give  the  actual  mastery;  therefore  every 
approach  towards  this  must  be  of  great  value. 
There  is  a delicacy,  too,  in  female  society,  which 
serves  well  to  check  the  boisterous,  to  tame  the 
brutal,  and  to  embolden  the  timid.  Whatever  be 
the  innate  character  of  a youth,  it  may  be  polished, 
and  exalted,  by  their  approbation.  He  must  be 
unusually  hardened  that  can  come  from  some 
shameful  excess,  or  in  a state  of  inebriety,  into  the 
company  of  the  ladies. 

Sometimes  a diffident  youth  has  been  taken  un- 
der the  protection^  if  it  may  be  so  called,  of  a con- 
siderate and  respectable  woman.  A woman  of 
proper  dignity  of  manners  and  character,  especiah 
20*- 


234  THE  YOUNG  MAn’s  GUIDE. 

Choice  of  female  society.  Friendship  of  a mother. 

ly  with  a few  years  ’ advantage,  can  do  this  with- 
out the  least  injury  to  herself,  and  without  step- 
ping a hair’s  breadth  beyond  the  bounds  which 
should  surround  her  sex.  Happy  is  the  young 
man  who  enjoys  a fostering  care  so  important; 
he  may  learn  the  value  of  the  sex ; learn  to  dis- 
criminate among  them,  to  esteem  many  of  them, 
and  prize  their  approbation ; and  in  time,  deserve 
it.  It  is  obvious  that  the  favor  of  silly,  flirting 
girls,  (and  there  are  some  such)  is  not  what  I am 
here  recommending. 

Where  the  character  of  such  society  is  pure, 
where  good  sense,  cultivation,  intellect,  modesty,  and 
superior  age,  distinguish  the  parties,  it  is  no  small 
honor  to  a young  man  to  enjoy  it.  Should  he  be 
conscious  that  epithets  of  a different  and  of  a con- 
trary quality  belong  to  them,  it  is  no  honor  to  him 
to  be  their  favorite.  He  must  be  like  them,  in 
some  degree,  or  they  would  not  approve  him. 

Section  II.  Advice  and  Friendship  of  Mothers, 

When  you  seek  female  society  for  the  sake  of 
improvement,  it  is  proper  you  should  begin  where 
nature  begun  with  you.  You  have  already  been 
encouraged  to  respect  your  mother;  I go  a step 
farther;  and  say.  Make  her  your  friend.  Unless 
your  own  misconduct  has  already  been  very  great, 
she  will  not  be  so  far  estranged  from  you,  as  not  to 
rejoice  at  the  opportunity  of  bestowing  that  atten- 


ADVICE  OF  MOTHERS.  235 

Her  tact  in  discriminating  character.  Never  despise  her  opinion. 


tion  to  you  which  the  warmest  wishes  for  your 
welfare  would  dictate.  If  your  errors  have^  on  the 
contrary,  created  a wide  distance  between  you, 
endeavor  to  restore  the  connection  as  soon  as  pos- 
sible. I do  not  undervalue  a father’s  counsel  and 
guidance ; yet  however  excellent  his  judgment 
may  be,  your  mother’s  opinion  is  not  only  a help 
to  your  own ; but  as  a ivoman^s,  it  has  its  peculiar 
character,  and  may  have  its  appropriate  value. 
Women  sometimes  see  at  a glance,  what  a man 
must  go  round  through  a train  of  argument  to 
discover.  Their  tact  is  delicate,  and  therefore 
quicker  in  operation.  Sometimes,  it  is  true,  their 
judgment  will  not  only  be  prompt,  but  premature, 
jfour  own  judgment  must  assist  you  here.  Do 
not,  however,  proudly  despise  your  mother’s;  — 
but  examine  it.  It  will  generally  well  repay  the 
trouble;  and  the  habit  of  consulting  her  will  in- 
crease habits  of  consideration,  and  self  command; 
and  promote  propriety  of  conduct. 

If  a mother  be  a woman  of  sense,  why  should 
you  not  profit  by  her  long  exercised  intelligence  ? 
Nay,  should  she  even  be  deficient  in  cultivation,  or 
in  native  talent,  yet  her  experience  is  something, 
and  her  love  for  you  will,  in  part,  make  up  for  such 
deficiency.  It  cannot  be  worthiness  to  despise, 
or  wisdom  to  neglect  your  mother’s  opinion. 


^36  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Elder  sisters.  Their  influence.  Learn  to  respect  them. 


Section  III.  Society  of  Sisters, 

Have  you  a sister  ? — Have  you  several  of  tliem  ? 
Then  you  are  favorably  situated ; especially  if  ono 
of  them  is  older  than  yourself.  She  has  done 
playing  with  dolls,  and  you  with  bats  and  balls. 
She  is  more  womanly ; her  carriage  becomes  dig- 
nified. Do  not  oblige  her,  by  your  boyish  beha- 
vior, to  keep  you  at  a distance.  Try  to  deserve 
the  character  of  her  friend.  She  will  sometimes 
look  to  you  for  little  services,  which  require  strength 
and  agility ; let  her  look  up  to  you  for  judgment, 
steadiness,  and  counsel  too.  You  may  be  mutual- 
ly beneficial.  Your  affection,  and  your  intertwin- 
ing interest  in  each  other’s  welfare,  will  hereby  be 
much  increased. 

A sister  usually  present,  is  that  sort  of  second 
conscience,  which,  like  the  fairy  ring,  in  an  old 
story,  pinches  the  wearer  whenever  he  is  doing 
any  thing  amiss.  Without  occasioning  so  much 
awe  as  a mother,  or  so  much  reserve  as  a stranger, 
her  sex,  her  affection,  and  the  familiarity  between 
you  will  form  a compound  of  no  small  value  in 
itself,  and  of  no  small  influence,  if  you  duly  re- 
gard it,  upon  your  growing  character.  Never  for 
one  moment  suppose  that  a good  joke  at  which  a 
sister  blushes,  or  turns  pale,  or  even  looks  anxious. 
If  you  should  not  at  first  perceive  what  there  is 
in  it  which  is  amiss,  it  will  be  well  worth  you4' 


SOCIETY  OF  SISTERS.  237 

Common  civilities.  Their  advantages,  even  to  yourself. 


while  to  examine  all  over  again.  Perhaps  a sin- 
gle glance  of  her  eye  will  explain  your  incon- 
siderateness; and  as  you  value  consistency  and 
propriety  of  conduct,  let  it  put  you  on  your  guard. 

There  is  a sort  of  attention  due  to  the  sex  which 
is  best  attained  by  practising  at  home.  Your 
mother  may  sometimes  require  this  attention,  your 
sisters  still  oftener.  Do  not  require  calling,  or  teas- 
ing, or  even  persuading  to  go  abroad  with  them 
when  their  safety,  their  comfort,  or  their  respecta- 
bility require  it.  It  is  their  due ; and  stupid  or  un- 
kind is  he  who  does  not  esteem  it  so.  In  perform- 
ing this  service,  you  are  only  paying  a respect 
to  yourself.  Your  sister  could,  indeed,  come  home 
alone,  but  it  would  be  a sad  reflection  on  you 
were  she  obliged  to  do  so.  Accustom  yourselfj 
then,  to  wait  upon  her;  it  will  teach  you  to  wait 
upon  others  by  and  by;  and  in  the  meantime,  it 
will  give  a gi'aceful  polish  to  your  character. 

It  will  be  well  for  you,  if  your  sisters  have 
young  friends  whose  acquaintance  with  them  may 
bring  you  sometimes  into  their  society.  The 
familiarity  allowable  with  your  sisters,  though  it 
may  well  prepare  you  to  show  suitable  attention  to 
other  ladies,  yet  has  its  disadvantages.  You  need 
sometimes  to  have  those  present  who  may  keep 
you  still  more  upon  your  guard ; and  render  your 
manners  and  attention  to  them  still  more  respect- 
ful 


S38 


THE  YOUNG  MAN  S GUIDE. 


Avoid  extremes.  Too  great  intimacy.  Its  evils. 


Section  IV.  General  Remarks  and  Advice. 

Never  seek,  then,  to  avoid  respectable  female 
society.  Total  privation  has  its  dangers,  as  well 
as  too  great  intimacy.  One  of  the  bad  results  of 
such  a privation,  is,  that  you  run  the  risk  of  be 
coming  attached  to  unworthy  objects  because  they 
first  fall  in  your  way.  Human  nature  is  ever  in 
danger  of  perversion.  Those  passions  which  God 
has  given  you  for  the  wisest  and  noblest  purposes 
may  goad  you  onward,  and,  if  they  do  not  prove 
the  occasion  of  your  destruction  in  one  way,  they 
may  in  another.  If  you  should  be  preserved  in 
solitude,  you  will  not  be  quite  safe  abroad.  Hav- 
ing but  a veiy  imperfect  conception  of  the  different 
shades  of  character  among  the  sex,  you  will  be 
ready  to  suppose  all  are  excellent  who  appear  fair 
and  all  good  who  appear  gentle. 

I have  alluded  to  the  dangers  of  too  great  inti- 
macy. Nothing  here  advanced  is  intended  to 
make  you  a mere  trifler,  or  to  sink  the  dignity  of 
your  own  sex.  Although  you  are  to  respect  fe- 
males because  of  their  sex,  yet  there  are  some  who 
bestow  upon  them  a species  of  attention  extremely 
injurious  to  themselves,  and  unpleasant  and  de- 
grading to  all  sensible  ladies. 

There  is  still  another  evil  sometimes  resulting 
from  too  great  intimacy.  It  is  that  you  lead  the 
other  party  to  mistake  your  object.  This  mistake 


GENERAL  REMARKS. 

Word  of  caution  to  young  men.  Guard  over  the  thoughts. 

is  easily  made.  It  is  not  necessary,  to  this  erid, 
that  you  should  make  any  professions  of  attach- 
ment, in  word  or  deed.  Looks,  nay  even  some- 
thing less  than  this,  though  it  may  be  difficult  to 
define  it,  may  indicate  that  sort  of  preference  for 
the  society  of  a lady,  that  has  sometimes  awakened 
an  attachment  in  her  which  you  never  suspected 
or  intended.  Or  what  is  a far  less  evil,  since  it  falls 
chiefly  on  yourself,  it  may  lead  her  and  others  to 
ridicule  you  for  what  they  suppose  to  be  the  result, 
on  your  part,  of  intention. 

Let  me  caution  you,  then,  if  you  would  obey  the 
golden  rule  of  doing  to  others  as  you  would  wish 
others  should  do  to  you,  in  the  same  circumstances, 
and  if  you  value,  besides  this,  your  own  peace,  to 
beware  of  injuring  those  whom  you  highly  esteem, 
by  leading  them  by  words,  looks,  or  actions,  to  that 
misapprehension  of  your  meaning  which  may  be 
the  means  of  planting  thorns  in  their  bosoms,  if  not 
in  your  own. 

There  is  another  error  to  which  I wish  to  call 
your  attention,  in  this  place,  although  it  might 
more  properly  be  placed  under  the  head.  Seduction, 
I allude  to  the  error  of  too  great  familiarity  with 
others,  after  your  heart  is  already  pledged  to  a 
particular  favorite.  Here,  more,  if  possible,  than 
in  the  former  case,  do  you  need  to  set  a guard  over 
all  your  ways,  words,  and  actions ; and  to  resolve, 
in  the  strength,  and  with  the  aid  of  Divine  grace, 
that  you  will  never  deviate  from  that  rule  of  con- 


^0  THE  YOUNG  MAn’s  GUIDE. 

Avoid  anglers.  Triflers.  The  artful  and  manoeuvring. 

duct  toward  others,  — which  Divine  Goodness  has 
given,  as  the  grand  text  to  the  book  of  human  duty. 

The  general  idea  presented  in  the  foregoing  sec- 
tions, of  what  a woman  ought  to  be,  is  sufficient  to 
guide  you,  with  a little  care  in  the  application. 
Such  as  are  forward,  soon  become  tedious.  Their 
character  is  what  no  man  of  taste  will  bear.  Some 
are  even  anglers,  aiming  to  catch  gudgeons  by  every 
look;  placing  themselves  in  attitudes  to  allure  the 
vagrant  eye.  Against  such  it  is  quite  unnecessary 
that  I should  warn  you  ; they  usually  give  you  suf- 
ficient notice  themselves.  The  trifier  can  scarcely 
amuse  you  for  an  evening.  The  company  of  a lady 
who  has  nothing  to  say  but  what  is  commonplace, 
whose  inactive  mind  never  for  once  stumbles  upon 
an  idea  of  its  own,  must  be  dull,  as  a matter  of 
course.  You  can  learn  nothing  from  her,  unless  it 
be  the  folly  of  a vacant  mind.  Come  away,  lest  you 
catch  the  same  disorder. 

The  artful  and  manoeuvring,  on  the  contrary, 
will,  at  a glance,  penetrate  your  inmost  mind,  and 
become  any  thing  which  they  perceive  will  be 
agreeable  to  you. 

Should  your  lot  be  cast  where  you  can  enjoy  the 
society  of  a few  intelligent,  agreeable,  and  respect- 
able females,  remember  to  prize  the  acquisition. 
If  you  do  not  derive  immense  advantage  from  it, 
the  fault  must  be  your  own.  If,  in  addition  to  the 
foregoing  qualifications,  these  female  friends  hap- 
pen to  have  had  a judicious  and  useful,  rather  than 


SOCIAL  MEETINGS.  241 

Beware  of  idolatry.  Means  of  social  improvement. 


a merely  polite  education,  your  advantages  are 
doubly  valuable. 

The  genial  influence  of  such  companions  must 
unavoidably  be  on  the  side  of  goodness  and  pro- 
priety. Lovelines  of  mind  will  impart  that  agree- 
ableness of  person  which  recommends  to  the  heart 
every  sentiment,  gives  weight  to  every  argument, 
justifies  every  opinion,  and  soothes  to  recollection 
and  recovery  those  who,  were  they  reproved  by 
any  other  voice,  might  have  risen  to  resistance,  or 
sunk  into  despair.  The  only  necessary  caution  in 
the  case  is,  ‘Beware  of  idolatry.^  Keep  yourself 
clear  from  fascination,  and  call  in  the  aid  of  your 
severest  judgment  to  keep  your  mind  true  to  your- 
self, and  to  principle. 

Section  V.  Lyceums  and  other  Social  Meetings, 

The  course  of  my  remarks  has  given  occasion, 
in  several  instances,  to  speak  of  the  importance  of 
lyceums  as  a means  of  mental  and  social  hnprove- 
ment.  It  will  not  be  necessary  therefore,  in  this 
place,  to  dwell,  at  lengthy  on  their  importance.  My 
principal  object  will  be  to  call  your  attention  to 
the  subject  in  general,  and  urge  it  upon  your  con- 
sideration. 1 hope  no  young  person  who  reads 
these  pages,  will  neglect  to  avail  himself  of  the  ad- 
vantages which  a good  tyceum  affords ; or  if  there 
are  none  of  that  character  within  his  reach,  let  him 
make  unremitting  efforts  till  one  exists. 

21 


THE  TOtTNG  man’s  GUIDE. 

Lyceums.  Their  importance.  Proper  subjects  to  bring  before  them. 

Although  these  institutions  are  yet  in  then*  in- 
fancy, and  could  hardly  have  been  expected  to  ac- 
complish more  w^ithin  the  same  period  than  they 
have,  it  is  hoped  they  will  not  hereafter  confine 
their  inquiries  so  exclusively  to  matters  of  mere 
intellect,  as  has  often  been  done.  There  are  other 
subjects  nearer  home,  if  I may  so  say,  than  these. 
How  strangely  do  mankind,  generally,  stretch  their 
thoughts  and  inquiries  abroad  to  the  concerns  of 
other  individuals,  states  and  nations,  and  forget  them- 
selves, and  the  objects  and  beings  near  by  them, 
and  their  mutual  relations,  connections,  and  depen- 
dencies ! 

Lyceums,  when  they  shall  have  obtained  a firm- 
er footing  among  us,  may  become  a most  valuable 
means  of  enlightening  the  mass  of  the  community, 
in  regard  to  the  structure  and  laws  of  the  human 
body,  and  its  relation  to  surrounding  objects ; of 
discussing  the  philosophy  of  dress,  and  its  different 
materials  for  different  seasons ; of  food,  and  drink, 
and  sleep  and  exercise;  of  dwellings  and  other 
buildings  ; of  amusements  and  employments ; — in 
short,  of  the  ten  thousand  Utile  things,  as  many  call 
them,  which  go  to  make  up  human  life,  with  its  en- 
joyments or  miseries.  These  things  have  been  sur- 
prisingly overlooked  by  most  men,  for  the  sake  of 
attending  to  others,  whose  bearing  on  human  hap- 
piness, if  not  often  questionable,  is  at  least  more 
remote. 

In  some  of  our  larger  cities  there  are  respectable 


MORAL  INSTRUCTION.  243 

Reading  rooms.  Libraries.  Lectures.  Moral  improvement. 

courses  of  useful  lectures  established  during  the 
months  of  winter,  and  sometimes  throughout  the 
year.  Added  to  this  are  reading-rooms,  and  vari- 
ous sorts  of  libraries,  which  are  accessible  for  a 
small  sum,  and  sometimes  for  almost  nothing. 
There  have  been  three  valuable  courses  of  Franklin 
Lectures  delivered  in  Boston,  during  the  three  last 
winters,  of  twenty  lectures  each,  for  only  fifty  cents 
a course.  In  most  large  towns,  benevolent  and 
spirited  individuals  might  establish  something  of 
the  same  kind,  at  least  every  winter. 

Section  VI.  Moral  Instruction. 

It  was  not  my  intention,  at  first,  to  say  a single 
word,  directly,  on  the  subject  of  religion,  but  I 
should  leave  this  chapter  very  incomplete  indeed, 
as  well  as  do  violence  to  my  own  feelings,  should  I 
say  nothing  at  all  of  Bible  classes,  and  other  means 
of  religious  instruction,  with  which  the  age,  and 
especially  this  part  of  the  country  abounds,  not  only 
on  Sundays,  but  during  the  long  evenings  of  leisure 
which,  for  a part  of  the  year,  many  young  men 
enjoy. 

Viewed  merely  as  a means  of  improving  the 
mindy  and  acquiring  much  authentic  historical  in- 
formation to  be  found  nowhere  else,  the  study  of 
the  Bible  is  a most  valuable  exercise,  and  ought  to 
be  encouraged.  To  adults  who  labor,  a walk  to 
church,  and  prompt  attention  to  the  Bible  lesson,  is 


^44 


THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 


Bible  instruction.  Matrimony  to  be  kept  in  view. 

happily  adapted  to  the  health  of  the  body,  no  less 
than  to  intellectual  improvement;  and  whatever 
objections  might  be  urged  against  subjecting  in- 
fants and  young  children  who  attend  other  schools 
during  the  week,  to  the  present  routine  of  Sabbath 
instruction,  I am  quite  sure  that  the  class  of  young 
persons  for  whom  I am  writing,  would  derive  the 
most  lasting  benefit  from  studymg  the  Bible. 

I have  made  these  remarks  on  the  presumption 
that  they  were  to  derive  no  moral  improvement 
from  Bible  instruction.  However,  I see  not  how 
these  schools  can  be  long  attended  by  ingenuous 
mhids  without  inspiring  a respect^  at  the  least,  for 
that  book  which  is  superior  to  all  other  books,  and 
for  that  religion  which  it  inculcates ; which  is  above 
all  sect,  and  beyond  all  price. 


Section  VII.  Of  Female  Society  in  reference  to 
Marriage. 

It  is  now  time  to  consider  the  subject  of  female 
society  in  reference  to  matrimony.  I shall  find  it 
necessary,  however,  to  make  a division  of  my  sub- 
ject, reserving  a more  complete  view  of  female  quali- 
fications for  a succeeding  chapter. 

Whatever  advice  may  be  given  to  the  contraiy 
by  friends  or  foes,  it  is  my  opinion  that  you  ought 
to  keep  mati’imony  steadily  in  view.  For  this  end, 
were  it  for  no  other,  you  ought  to  mingle  much  in 
society.  Never  consider  yourself  complete  with- 


FEMALE  SOCIETY.  245 

Cautions.  Honorable  attachments.  Anecdote  of  John  Newton. 


out  this  other  half  of  yourself.  It  is  too  much  the 
fashion  among  young  men  at  the  present  day  to 
make  up  their  minds  to  dispense  with  marriage ; — 
an  unnatural,  and  therefore  an  unwise  plan.  Much 
of  our  character,  and  most  of  our  comfort  and  hap- 
piness depend  upon  it.  Many  have  found  this  out 
too  late ; that  is,  after  age  and  fixed  habits  had  partly 
disqualified  them  for  this  important  duty. 

All  that  has  been  hitherto  said  of  female  influence 
bears  upon  this  point.  According  to  the  character 
of  the  person  you  select,  in  a considerable  degree, 
will  be  your  own.  Should  a mere  face  fascinate 
you  to  a doll,  you  will  not  need  much  mental 
energy  to  please  her ; and  the  necessity  of  exertion 
on  this  account  being  small,  your  own  self  will 
sink,  or  at  least  not  rise,  as  it  otherwise  might  do. 

But  were  I personally  acquainted  with  3mu,  and 
should  I perceive  an  honorable  attachment  taking 
possession  of  your  heart,  I should  regard  it  as  a 
happy  circumstance.  Life  then  has  an  object. 
The  only  thing  to  be  observed  is  that  it  be  managed 
with  prudence,  honor,  and  good  sense. 

The  case  of  John  Newton  is  precisely  in  point. 
In  veiy  early  life  this  man  formed  a strong  attach- 
ment to  a lady,  under  circumstances  which  did  not 
permit  him  to  make  it  known ; which  w’as  probably 
well  for  both  parties.  It  did  not  diminish  her  hap- 
piness, so  long  as  she  remained  in  ignorance  on  the 
subject ; and  in  scenes  of  sorrow,  suffering,  and 
temptation,  the  liope  of  one  day  obtaining  her 


246  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Desire  to  marry.  Its  tendency  to  elevate  the  youthful  character, 

soothed  him,  and  kept  him  from  performing  many 
dishonorable  actions.  ‘The  bare  possibility,’  he 
says,  ‘of  seeing  her  again,  was  the  only  obvious 
means  of  restraining  me  from  the  most  horrid  de- 
signs, against  myself  and  others.’ 

The  wish  to  marry,  if  prudently  indulged,  will 
lead  to  honest  and  persevering  exertions  to  obtain 
a reasonable  income  — one  which  will  be  satisfac- 
tory to  the  object  of  your  hopes,  as  well  as  to  her 
friends.  He  who  is  determined  on  living  a single 
life,  very  naturally  contracts  his  endeavors  to  his 
own  narrow  personal  wants,  or  else  squanders 
freely,  in  the  belief  that  he  can  always  procure 
enough  to  support  himself.  Indeed  it  cannot  have 
escaped  even  the  careless  observer  that  in  propor- 
tion as  an  individual  relinquishes  the  idea  of  matri- 
mony, just  in  the  same  proportion  do  his  mind  and 
feelings  contract.  On  the  contrary,  that  hope  which 
aims  at  a beloved  partner  — a family  — a fireside, — 
will  lead  its  possessor  to  activity  in  all  his  conduct. 
It  will  elicit  his  talents,  and  urge  them  to  their  full 
energy,  and  probably  call  in  the  aid  of  economy ; 
a quality  so  indispensable  to  every  condition  of  life. 
The  single  consideration,  ‘What  would  she  think 
were  she  now  to  see  me  ? ’ called  up  by  the  obtru- 
sion of  a favorite  image, — how  often  has  it  stimu- 
lated a noble  mind  and  heart  to  deeds  wdiich  other- 
wise had  never  been  performed ! 

I repeat  it,  I am  aware  that  this  advice  is  liable 
to  abuse.  But  what  shall  be  done  ? Images  of 


FEMALE  SOCIETY. 


247 

Zimmerman. 


Female  society  a prevention  of  vice. 

some  sort  will  haunt  the  mind  more  or  less — female 
influence  in  some  shape  or  other  will  operate.  Is 
it  not  better  to  give  the  imagination  a virtuous  di- 
rection than  to  leave  it  to  range  without  control,  and 
without  end^ 

I repeat  it,  nothing  is  better  calculated  to  pre- 
serve a young  man  from  the  contamination  of  low 
pleasures  and  pursuits,  than  frequent  intercourse 
with  the  more  refined  and  virtuous  of  the  other  sex. 
Besides,  without  such  society  his  manners  can  never 
acquu*e  the  true  polish  of  a gentleman,  — general 
character,  dignity,  and  refinement;— nor  his  mind 
and  heart  the  truest  and  noblest  sentiments  of  a 
man.  Make  it  an  object  then,  I again  say,  to  spend 
some  portion  of  every  week  of  your  life  in  the 
company  of  intelligent  and  virtuous  ladies.  At  all 
events,  flee  solitude,  and  especially  the  exclusive 
society  of  your  own  sex.  The  doctrines  even  of 
Zimmerman,  the  great  apostle  of  solitude,  would 
put  to  shame  many  young  men,  who  seldom  or 
never  mix  in  female  society. 

If  you  should  be  so  unfortunate  as  not  to  have 
among  your  acquaintance  any  ladies  whose  society 
would,  in  these  points  of  view,  be  profitable  to 
you,  do  not  be  in  haste  to  mix  with  the  ignorant 
and  vulgar ; but  wait  patiently  till  your  own  indus- 
try and  good  conduct  shall  give  you  admission 
to  better  circles;  and  in  the  meantime  cultivate 
your  mind  by  reading  and  thinking,  so  that  when 
you  actually  gain  admission  to  good  society,  you 


248  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Avoid  silliness.  Flattery.  Pedantry.  Egotism. 

may  know  how  to  prize  and  enjoy  it.  Remember, 
too,  that  you  are  not  to  be  so  selfish  as  to  think 
nothing  of  contributing  to  the  happiness  of  others. 
It  is  blessed  to  give  as  well  as  to  receive. 

When  you  are  in  the  company  of  ladies,  beware 
of  silliness.  It  is  true  that  they  will  sooner  for- 
give foolishness  than  ill  manners,  but  you  will,  of 
course,  avoid  both.  I know  one  young  gentle- 
man of  great  promise,  who  adopted  the  opinion 
that  in  order  to  qualify  himself  for  female  society, 
he  had  only  to  become  as  foolish  as  possible,  while 
in  their  presence.  That  young  man  soon  lost  the 
favor  of  all  whose  friendship  might  have  operated 
as  a restraint ; but  unwilling  to  associate  with  the 
despicable,  and  unable  to  live  in  absolute  solitude, 
he  chose  the  bottle  for  his  companion ; and  made 
himself,  and  the  few  friends  he  had,  miserable. 

Nothing,  unless  it  be  the  coarsest  flattery,  will 
give  more  offence,  in  the  end,  than  to  treat  ladies 
as  mere  playthings  or  children.  On  the  other  hand, 
do  not  become  pedantic,  and  lecture  them  on  dif- 
ficult subjects.  They  readily  see  through  all  this. 
Neither  is  it  good  manners  or  policy  to  talk  much 
of  yourself.  They  can  penetrate  this  also ; and  they 
despise  the  vanity  which  produces  it.  In  detect- 
ing deception,  they  ape  often  much  quicker  than 
we  apprehend. 

A young  gentleman,  in  one  of  the  New  England 
States,  who  had  assumed  the  chair  of  the  peda- 
gogue, paifl  his  addresses  to  the  hpuptiful  and  sen? 


FEMALE  SOCIETY.  249 

An  anecdote.  Be  modest  and  respectful.  Female  innocence. 


sible  daughter  of  a respectable  farmer.  One  day, 
as  she  was  present  in  his  school,  he  read  to  her  a 
hymn,  which  he  said  was  from  his  own  pen.  Now 
it  was  obvious  to  this  lady,  and  even  to  some  of 
the  pupils,  that  the  hymn  was  none  other  than  that 
usually  known  by  the  name  of  the  ‘ Harvest  Hymn,’ 
modified  by  the  change  of  a few  words  only.  How 
much  effect  this  circumstance  might  have  had  I 
cannot  say  with  certainty ; but  I know  it  disgusted 
one,  at  least,  of  the  pupils ; and  I know,  too,  that 
his  addresses  to  the  lady  were  soon  afterwards  dis- 
continued. 

A young  man  who  would  profit  from  the  society 
of  young  ladies,  or  indeed  from  any  society,  must 
preserve  a modest  and  respectful  spirit ; must  seek 
to  conciliate  their  good  will  by  quiet  and  unos- 
tentatious attentions,  and  discover  more  willing- 
ness to  avail  himself  of  their  stock  of  information, 
than  to  display  his  own  knowledge  or  abilities. 

He  should  observe,  and  learn  to  admire,  that 
purity  and  ignorance  of  evil,  which  is  the  charac- 
teristic of  well-educated  young  ladies,  and  which, 
while  we  are  near  them,  raises  us  above  those  sor- 
did and  sensual  considerations  which  hold  such 
sway  over  men,  in  their  intercourse  with  each  other. 
He  should  treat  them  as  spirits  of  a purer  sphere, 
and  try  to  be  as  innocent,  if  not  as  ignorant  of  evil 
as  they  are ; remembering  that  there  is  no  better 
way  of  raising  himself  in  the  scale  of  intellectual 
and  moral  being.  But  to  whatever  degree  of  in- 


250 


THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 


Proper  topics  of  conversation.  Studying  the  same  book. 

timacy  he  may  arrive,  he  should  never  forget  those 
little  acts  of  courtesy  and  kindness,  as  well  as  that 
respect,  and  self-denial,  which  lend  a charm  to 
every  kind  of  polite  intercourse,  and  especially  to 
that  of  which  I am  now  speaking. 

Whenever  an  opportunity  occurs,  however,  it  is 
the  duty  of  a young  man  to  introduce  topics  of 
conversation  which  are  decidedly  favorable  to 
mental  and  moral  improvement.  Should  he  hap- 
pen to  be  attending  to  the  same  study,  or  reading 
the  same  book  with  a female  acquaintance,  an  ex- 
cellent opportunity  will  be  afforded  for  putting  this 
rule  in  practice. 


CHAPTER  VI. 


Section  I.  Why  Matrimony  is  a Duty, 

Matrimony  is  a subject  of  high  importance  and 
interest.  It  is  important^  because  it  was  among 
the  earliest  institutions  of  the  great  Creator;  be- 
cause it  has  always  existed  in  some  form  or  other, 
and  must  continue  to  exist,  or  society  cannot  be 
sustained ; and  because  in  proportion  as  the  ends 
of  the  Creator  are  answered  by  its  establishment, 
just  in  the  same  proportion  does  the  happiness  of 
society  rise  or  fall.  It  points  out  the  condition  of 
society  in  this  respect  as  accurately  as  a thermome- 
ter shows  the  temperature  of  the  surrounding  at- 
mosphere. I might  even  go  farther,  and  say,  that 
in  proportion  as  the  original  and  real  ends  of  mar- 
riage are  answered,  do  the  interests  of  religion  also 
rise  or  sink.  * 

This  institution  is  peculiarly  interesting  from  the 

* Some  of  the  topics  of  diis  section  have  been  anticipated, 
in  part,  in  a previous  chapter;  but  their  importance  en- 
titles them  to  a farther  consideration. 


252  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Matrimony  a school  of  instruction.  Compared  with  other  schools 

fact  that  it  involves  so  many  items  of  human  hap- 
piness. We  often  speak  of  the  value  of  friendship. 
What  friendship  like  that  which  results  from  a 
happy  union  of  the  sexes  ? We  talk  of  education. 
What  school  so  favorable  to  improvement  as  the 
domestic  circle  may  be  rendered?  Whether  we 
consider  education  in  a physical,  mental  or  moral 
point  of  view,  all  its  plans  are  imperfect  without 
this.  No  man  or  woman  is,  as  a general  rule,  fully 
prepared  for  the  humblest  sphere  of  action  on 
earth,  without  the  advantages  which  are  peculiar 
to  this  institution.  Nor  has  any  man  done  his 
whole  duty  to  God,  who  has  left  this  subject  out  of 
consideration. 

It  has  sometimes  been  said,  and  with  much  truth, 
that  ^no  unmarried  person  was  ever  thoroughly 
and  completely  educated.’  It  appears  to  me  that 
were  we  to  consider  the  intellectual  and  physical 
departments  of  •'education,  merely,  this  would  be 
true ; but  how  much  more  so  when  we  take  in  mo- 
rals ? Parents,  — teachers,  — what  are  they  ? Their 
labors  are  indeed  of  infinite  value,  in  themselves 
considered ; but  it  is  only  in  a state  of  matrimony, 
it  is  only  when  we  are  called  to  the  discharge  of 
those  multiplied  duties  which  are  involved  in  the 
endearing  relations  of  husband,  wife,  parent  and 
guardian,  that  our  characters  are  fully  tested  and 
established.  Late  in  life  as  these  relations  com- 
mence, the  cu'cumstances  which  they  involve  are 
so  peculiar  that  they  modify  the  character  of  the 


WHY  MATRIMONY  IS  A YUTY.  253 

Permanency  of  the  teachers.  Early  marriages. 

parties  inuch  more  than  has  usually  been  consid^ 
ered. 

I am  fond,  therefore,  of  contemplating  the  mar- 
ried state  as  a school;  — not  merely  for  a short 
termj  but  for  life;  — not  one  whose  teachers  are 
liable  to  be  changed  once  or  twice  a year  to  the 
great  disadvantage  of  all  who  are  concerned,  but 
whose  instructors  are  as  permanent  as  the  school 
itself.  It  is  true,  that  like  other  schools,  it  may 
result  in  the  formation  of  bad  character;  but  in 
proportion  to  its  power  to  accomplish  either  good 
or  bad  results^  will  be  its  value,  if  wisely  improved^ 
It  is  not  to  be  denied  that  this  viev/  of  the  sub- 
ject is  in  favor  of  early  marriage.  And  I can  truly 
say,  indeed,  that  every  thing  considered,  early  mar- 
riage does  appear  to  me  highly  desirable*  And  it 
would  require  stronger  arguments  than  any  which 
I have  yet  seen  adduced,  even  by  some  of  our 
political  economists,  to  make  me  surrender  this 
opinion. 

The  only  serious  objection,  of  a popular  kind, 
to  early  marriage,  arises  from  the  difficulty  of  sup- 
porting a family.  But  the  parties  themselves  must 
be  supported  at  all  events,  whether  married  or 

single.  ‘ But  the  consequences  ’ And  what 

are  the  consequences  ? An  earlier  family,  indeed ; 
but  not  of  necessity  a larger.  I believe  that  facts 
will  bear  me  out  in  stating  that  the  sum  total  of 
the  progeny  of  every  thousand  families  who  com- 
mence at  from  twenty-five  to  thhty,  is  as  great  m 
22 


254 


THE  YOUNG  MAN  S GUIDE. 


Facts  in  relation  to  early  marriages.  Some  painful  cases. 

tliat  of  one  thousand  who  begin  at  from  twenty  to 
twenty -five.  I have  even  seen  pretty  large  families 
where  the  eldest  was  thirty-five  years  younger  than 
both  the  parents  ; and  one  or  two  instances  of  nu- 
merous families  where  marriage  did  not  take  place 
till  the  age  of  forty.  Physiologists  have  long  ob- 
served this  singular  fact,  and  it  has  sometimes  been 
explained  by  saying,  if  indeed  it  be  an  explanation, 
that  Nature,  in  these  cases,  unwilling  to  be  cheated 
out  of  her  rights,  endeavors  to  make  up  in  energy 
and  activity  what  has  been  lost  in  time. 

The  question,  however,  will  recur,  whether  fam- 
ilies, though  equally  large,  cannot  be  better  main- 
tained when  marriage  is  deferred  to  a later  period. 
And  it  certainly  is  a question  of  immense  impor- 
tance. For  nothing  is  more  painful  than  to  see 
large  families,  whose  parents,  whether  young  or 
more  advanced,  have  not  the  means  of  educating 
them  properly.  It  is  also  not  a little  painful  to  find 
instances  of  poverty  so  extreme  that  there  is  abso- 
lute suffering,  for  want  of  food  and  clothing. 

But  the  question  must  be  determined  by  facts. 
And  it  w^ould  be  greatly  aiding  the  cause  of  hu- 
manity if  extensive  comparisons  were  made  be- 
tween the  pecuniary  condition  of  those  who  marry 
early  and  those  who  defer  the  subject  to  a later 
period.  But  from  my  own  limited  observation  I 
am  fully  of  opinion  that  the  result  of  the  compar- 
ison would  be  greatly  in  favor  of  early  marriages. 
Should  this  prove  to  be  true,  the  position  which  I 


WHY  MATRIMONY  IS  A DOTY. 


255 


Objections  to  early  marriage  considered. 

have  assumed  is,  I think,  established ; for  it  appears 
to  me  that  no  other  argument  for  delay  has  any 
claim  to  our  notice. 

On  the  other  hand,  the  following,  among  other 
evils,  are  the  results  of  deferring  marriage. 

1.  The  temper  and  habits  of  the  parties  become 
stiff  and  unyielding  when  advanced  in  life,  and 
they  learn  to  adapt  themselves  to  each  other  with 
difficulty.  In  the  view  which  I have  taken  above 
they  become  miserable  as  teachers,  and  still  more 
miserable  as  scholars. 

2.  Youth  are  thus  exposed  to  the  danger  of 
forming  habits  of  criminal  indulgence,  as  fatal  to 
the  health  and  the  character,  as  they  are  ruinous 
to  the  soul. 

3.  Or  if  they  proceed  not  so  far,  they  at  least 
acquire  the  habit  of  spending  time  in  vain  or  per- 
nicious amusements.  All  mankind  must  and  will 
seek  for  gratifications  of  some  sort  or  other.  And 
aside  from  religious  principle,  there  is  no  certain 
security  against  those  amusements  and  indulgen- 
ces which  are  pernicious  and  destructive,  but 
early  and  virtuous  attachments,  and  the  pleasures 
afforded  by  domestic  life.  He  can  never  want  for 
amusement  or  rational  gratification  who  is  sur- 
rounded by  a rising  family  for  whom  he  has  a 
genuine  affection. 

4.  Long  continued  celibacy  contracts  the  mind, 
if  it  does  not  enfeeble  it.  For  one  openhearted 
liberal  old  bachelor,  you  will  find  ten  who  are  par- 


256  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Bachelors  not  the  most  useful  members  of  society. 


simoiiious,  avaricious,  cold-hearted,  and  too  often 
destitute  of  those  sympathies  for  their  fellow  be- 
ings which  the  married  life  has  a tendency  to  elicit 
and  perpetuate.* 

* I know  this  principle  is  sometimes  disputed.  A late 
English  writer,  in  a Treatise  on  Happiness,  at  page  251 
of  Vol.  II,  maintains  the  contrary.  He  quotes  from  Lord 
Bacon,  that  ‘ Unmarried  men  are  the  best  friends,  best  mas- 
ters, and  best  servants,’  and  that  ‘ The  best  works,  and  of 
greatest  merit  for  the  public,  have  proceeded  from  unmarried 
or  childless  men.’  He  also  introduces  Jeremy  Taylor,  as 
saying  that  ‘ Celibacy,  like  a fly  in  the  heart  of  an  apple, 
dwells  in  perpetual  sweetness.’ 

In  commenting  upon  these  remarks,  this  writer  says, 
f One  half  of  the  most  eminent  persons  that  have  ever  lived 
in  the  world  pf  science  and  literatpre,  have  remained  un- 
married/ and  ‘ in  the  connubial  state,  too  frequently,  the 
sympathies  are  connected  within  the  family  circle,  while 
there  is  little  generosity  or  philanthropy  beyond.’  And  lastly, 
fhat  ‘ Unmarried  men  possess  many  natural  excellences, 
which  if  not  engrossed  by  a family  will  be  directed  towards 
their  fellow  creatures.’ 

Now  it  is  admitted  that  many  enbinent  men,  especiall}?^  in 
science  and  literature,  have  been  bachelors ; and  that  among 
them  were  Newton  and  Locke.  But  this  only  proves  that 
while  thousands  and  tens  of  thousands  of  their  fellow  be- 
ings spent  their  lives  in  insignificance,  for  want  of  a definite 
object  to  live  for,  these  men,  having  an  object  before  them, 
accomplished  something.  And  if  you  could  induce  one 
single  man  in  a thousand,  nay,  one  in  ten  thousand,  to 
make  a similar  use  of  his  exemption  from  the  cares  of  a 
family,  much  might  be  expected  fl'om  celibacy ; or  at  least. 


WHY  MATRIMONY  IS  A DUTY.  ^57 

The  general  principle  considered.  Franklin’s  opinion. 

5.  Franklin  says  that  late  marriages  are  attended 
with  another  inconvenience,  viz.;  that  the  chance 
of  living  to  see  our  children  educated,  is  greatly 
diminished. 

6.  But  I go  much  farther  than  I have  hitherto 
done,  and  insist  that  other  things  being  equal,  the 

the  results  of  their  labors  might  be  a partial  compensation 
to  society  for  the  evil  tendency  of  their  example.  For 
marriage  cannot  be  denied  to  be  an  institution  of  God, 
and  indispensable  to  the  existence  of  society.  And  who 
can  say  that  he  has  purchased  an  indulgence  to  disobey  a 
law  which  is  in  some  respects  paramount  la  every  other, 
however  great  the  price  he  may  have  paidl 

That  marriage  tends  to  concentrate  our  sympathies  within 
the  family  circle,  I do  not  lielieve.  A proper  investigation 
of  the  subject  will,  I am  certain,  prove  this  assumption 
unfounded.  Facts  do  not  show  unmarried  men  to  be  ‘best 
friends,  masters,  servants  ’ &c. ; and  I am  sorry  to  find  such 
a theory  maintained  by  any  sensible  writer.  Some  of  the 
illustrious  examples  of  celibacy  which  are  usually  brought, 
were  by  no  means  estimable  for  their  social  feelings  or 
habits.  What  would  become  of  mankind,  if  they  were  all  to 
immure  themselves  in  dungeons,  or  what  is  nearly  the  same 
thing  to  social  life,  among  books  and  papers  1 Better,  by 
far,  to  remain  in  ignorance  of  the  material  laws  which 
govern  the  universe,  than  to  become  recluses  in  a world 
like  this.  Better  even  dispense  with  some  of  the  lights 
which  genius  has  struck  out  to  enable  us  to  read  suns  and 
stars,  than  to  understand  attraction  in  the  material  world, 
while  we  are  insensible  to  all  attractions  of  a moral  and 
social  kind.  God  has  made  us  to  feel,  to  sympathize,  and 
to  love,  — as  well  as  to  know. 

2^* 


S58  THE  YOUNG  BIAn’s  GUIDE. 

Early  marriage  also  favorable  in  point  of  economy. 


young  married  man  has  the  advantage  in  a pecu- 
niary point  of  view.  This  is  a natural  result  from 
the  fact  that  he  is  compelled  to  acquire  habits  of 
industry,  frugality,  and  economy;  and  is  under 
less  temptation  to  waste  his  time  in  trifling  or  pex^- 
nicious  amusements.  But  I may  appeal  to  facts, 
even  here.  Look  around  you  in  the  world,  and 
see  if  out  of  a given  number  of  single  persons,  say 
one  thousand,  of  the  age  of  thirty-five,  there  be 
not  a gi'eater  number  in  poverty,  than  of  the  same 
number  who  settled  in  life  at  twenty. 

Perhaps  I ought  barely  to  notice  another  objec- 
tion to  these  views.  It  is  said  that  neither  the 
mind  nor  the  body  come  to  full  maturity  so  early 
as  we  are  apt  to  suppose.  But  is  complete  matu- 
rity of  body  or  mind  indispensable  ? I am  not  adr 
vocating  the  practice  of  marrying  in  childhood.  It 
takes  sometime  for  the  affections  toward  an  in- 
dividual to  -ripen  and  become  settled.  This  is  a 
matter  involving  too  high  responsibilities  to  justify 
baste.  The  consequences,  speaking  generally,  aro 
not  confined  to  this  life ; they  extend  to  eternity. 

Section  II.  General  Consideratiom. 

We  are  now  to  enter  on  a most  in[g)ortant  part 
of  our  subject.  Hitherto  it  had  been  my  object  to 
point  out  the  proper  course  for  you  to  pursue  in 
reference  to  yourself,  your  own  improvement,  and 
consequent  usefulness.  In  the  remarks  of  t4^e 


GENERAL  CONSIDERATIONS.  259 

school  of  matrimony.  A word  from  Dr.  Rush. 

preceding  chapter,  and  in  those  which  follow,  you 
are  regarded  as  seeking  a companion ; as  anxious 
TO  assume  new  relations,  such  as  involve  new  du-^ 
lies  and  new  responsibilities. 

If  you  are  successful,  instead  of  educating  your^ 
self  alone,  you  are  to  be  concerned  in  improving 
the  mental,  moral,  and  social  condition  of  two  per^ 
sons;  and  in  the  end,  perhaps  others.  You  are  to 
be  a teacher ; you  cannot  avoid  this  station  if  you 
would.  But  you  are  also  to  be  a learner.  Dr.  Rush 
says  we  naturally  imitate  the  manners,  and  gradu^ 
ally  acquire  the  tempers  of  persons  with  whom  we 
live,  provided  they  are  objects  of  our  affection  and 
respect.  ‘ This,’  he  adds,  ‘ has  been  observed  in 
husbands  and  wives  who  have  lived  long  and  hap-? 
pily  together ; and  even  in  servants.’  And  nothing 
can  be  more  true, 

Not  only  your  temper  an^that  of  your  compan-^ 
ion,  but  your  whole  character,  considered  as  phy^ 
sical,  mental,  and  moral  beings,  will  be  mutually 
improved  or  injured  through  life.  You  will  be 
placed,  as  1 have  already  intimated,  at  a school  of 
mutual  instruction,  which  is  to  continue  without 
vacation  or  change  of  monitors, — perhaps  half  a 
century ; — during  every  one  of  the  earliest  years 
of  which,  , your  character  will  be  more  really  and 
more  permanently  modified  than  in  the  same 
amount  of  time  at  any  prior  period  of  your  edu-« 
cation,  unless  it  were  in  the  veriest  infancy. 

Purely  then  it  is  no  light  affair  to  make  prepara* 


260  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Wealth,  beauty,  rank,  &c.  only  secondary  considerations. 


tion  for  a school  like  this.  There  is  no  period  in 
the  life  of  a young  man  so  important ; for  there  is 
none  on  which  his  happiness  and  the  happiness  of 
others  so  essentially  depend. 

Before  I advert  to  the  particular  qualifications 
which  it  is  necessary  for  you  to  seek  in  so  intimate 
a friend,  I shall  mention  a few  considerations  of  a 
general  nature. 

Settle  it,  in  the  first  place,  that  absolute  perfec- 
tion is  not  to  be  found.  There  are  not  a few 
young  men  of  a romantic  turn  of  mind,  fostered 
and  increased  by  reading  the  fictitious  writings  of 
the  day,  who  have  pictured  to  themselves  for  com- 
panions in  life  unreal  forms  and  angelic  characters, 
instead  of  beings  who  dwell  in  ‘houses  of  clay,’ 
and  are  ‘crushed  before  the  moth.’  Such  ‘exalt- 
ed imaginations  ’ must  sooner  or  later  be  brought 
down : happy  will  it  be  with  those  who  are  chas- 
tened in  due  season. 

In  the  second  place,  resolve  never  to  be  misled 
by  any  adventitious  circumstances.  Wealth,  beau- 
ty, rank,  friends,  &c,  are  all  proper  considerations, 
but  they  are  not  of  the  first  importance.  They  are 
merely  secondary  qualifications.  Marriage  must 
never  be  a matter  of  bargain  and  sale : for 

In  the  third  place,  no  marriage  e^agement 
shoiild  ever  be  thought  of  unless  there  is  first  a 
genuine  and  rational  attachment.  No  cold  calcu- 
lations of  profit  or  loss,  no  hereditary  estates  or 
other  adventitious  circumstances,  though  they  were 


GENERAL  CONSIDERATIONS. 


261 


Genuine  affection.  A competence.  Nearly  equal  age. 

equivalent  to  a peerage,  or  a realm,  should  ever, 
for  one  moment,  even  in  thought,  be  substituted 
for  love.  It  is  treason  to  Him  who  ordained  this 
most  blessed  institution. 

But  fourthly,  though  wealth,  however  valuable 
in  itself,  is  by  no  means  a recommendation  in  the 
present  case,  yet  the  means  of  a comfortable  sup- 
port are  certainly  to  be  regarded.  It  is  painful  to 
see  a \ery  young  couple,  with  a large  family,  and 
destitute  of  the  means  of  support. 

In  the  fifth  place,  a suitable  age  is  desirable. 

When  we  consider  the  varying  tastes,  habits  and 
feelings  of  the  same  person  at  different  periods  of 
his  life,  is  it  not  at  once  obvious  that,  other  things 
being  equal,  those  persons  are  most  likely  to  find 
that  happiness  which  is  sought  in  matrimony,  by 
associating  with  those  whose  age  does  not  differ 
greatly  from  their  own?  It  is  true,  some  of  the 
happiest  human  connexions  that  ever  were  formed 
were  between  persons  of  widely  differing  ages; 
but  is  this  the  general  rule?  Would  not  those 
who  have  found  happiness  under  other  circum- 
stances, have  been  still  happier^  had  their  ages  been 
more  nearly  equal  ? 

There  is  little  doubt  that  a person  advanced  in 
life  may  lengthen  his  days  by  a connection  with 
a person  much  younger  than  himself.  Whether 
the  life  of  the  other  party  is  not  shortened,  in  an 
equal  degree,  at  the  same  time,  and  by  tlie  same 


262  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Opinion  of  Spurzheim.  Chateaubriand.  What  the  Bible  says. 


means,  remains  to  be  determined ; but  probably  it 
is  so. 

Some  men  and  women  are  as  old,  in  reality, 
whatever  their  years  may  indicate,  at  twenty,  as 
others  at  twenty-five.  The  matrimonial  connec- 
tion then  may  be  safely  formed  between  parties 
whose  ages  differ  a few  years ; but  I think  that  as 
a general  rule,  the  ages  of  the  parties  ought  to  be 
nearly  equal. 

Lastly,  it  was  believed  by  a great  observer  of  hu- 
man nature,  the  late  Dr.  Spurzheim,  that  no  per- 
son was  fit  for  the  domestic  relations  who  had  not 
undergone  trials  and  sufferings.  The  gay  reader 
may  smile  at  this  opinion,  but  I can  assure  him 
that  many  wise  men  besides  Spurzheim  have 
entertained  it.  Chateaubriand,  among  others,  in 
his  ‘Genius  of  Christianity,’  advances  the  same 
opinion.  Some,  as  we  have  seen,  hold  that  no 
person  can  be  well  educated  without  suffering. 
Such  persons,  however,  use  the  term  education  as 
meaning  something  more  than  a little  scientific 
instruction ; — as  a means  of  forming  character.  In 
this  point  of  view  no  sentiment  can  be  more  true. 
Even  the  Bible  confirms  it,  when  it  assures  us,  that 
the  ‘Captain  of  our  Salvation  was  made  perfect 
through  sufferings.’  % 


MORAL  EXCELLENCE.  263 

Few  female  atheists.  Large  proportion  of  female  Christians. 


Section  III.  Female  Qualifications  for  Marriage, 

1.  MORAL  excellence. 

The  highest  as  well  as  noblest  trait  in  female 
character,  is  love  to  God.  When  we  consider 
what  are  the  tendencies  of  Christianity  to  elevate 
woman  from  the  state  of  degradation  to  which  she 
had,  for  ages,  been  subjected  — when  we  consider 
not  only  what  it  has  done,  but  what  it  is  destined 
yet  to  do  for  her  advancement,  — it  is  impossible 
not  to  shrink  from  the  presence  of  an  impious,  and 
above  all  an  unprincipled  atheistical  female,  as  from 
an  ungrateful  and  unnatural  being. 

Man  is  under  eternal  obligations  to  Christianity 
and  its  Divine  Author,  undoubtedly;  but  woman 
seems  to  be  more  so. 

That  charge  against  females  which  in  the  minds 
of  some  half  atheistical  men  is  magnified  into  a 
stigma  on  Christianity  itself,  namely  that  they  are 
more  apt  to  become  religious  than  men ; and  that 
we  find  by  far  the  greater  part  of  professing  Chris- 
tians to  be  females,  is  in  my  own  view  one  of  the 
highest  praises  of  the  sex.  I rejoice  that  their 
hearts  are  more  susceptible  than  ours,  and  that 
they  do  not  war  so  strongly  against  that  religion 
which  their  nature  demands.  I have  met  with  but 
one  female,  whom  I knew  to  be  an  avowed  atheist. 

Indeed  there  are  very  few  men  to  be  found,  who 
are  skeptical  themselves,  who  do  not  prefer  ^ous 


264  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE* 

Common  sense.  Its  value  in  a wife.  Definition. 

companions  of  the  other  sex.  I will  not  stop  to 
adduce  this  as  an  evidence  of  the  truth  of  our  reli- 
gion itself,  and  of  its  adaptation  to  the  wants  of  the 
human  race,  for  happily  it  does  not  need  it.  Chris- 
tianity is  based  on  the  most  abundant  evidence,  of 
a character  wholly  unquestionable.  But  this  1 do 
and  will  say,  that  to  be  consistent,  young  men  of 
loose  principles  ought  not  to  rail  at  females  for  their 
piety,  and  then  whenever  they  seek  for  a constant 
friend,  one  whom  they  can  love,  — for  they  never 
really  love  the  abandoned  — always  prefer,  other 
things  being  equal,  the  society  of  the  pious  and  the 
virtuous. 

2.  COMMON  SENSE. 

Next  on  the  list  of  particular  qualifications  in  a 
female,  for  matrimonial  life,  I place  common  sense. 
In  the  view  of  some,  it  ought  to  precede  moral 
excellence.  A person,  it  is  said,  who  is  deficient 
in  common  sense,  is,  in  proportion  to  the  irnbecil 
ity,  unfit  for  social  life,  and  yet  the  same  person 
might  possess  a kind  of  negative  excellency,  or 
perhaps  even  a species  of  piety.  This  view  ap- 
pears to  me,  however,  much  more  specious  than 
sound. 

By  common  sense,  as  used  in  this  place,  I mean 
the  faculty  by  means  of  which  we  see  things  as 
they  renWy  are.  It  implies  judgment  and  discrimi- 
nation, and  a proper  sense  of  propriety  in  regard 
to  the  common  concerns  of  life.  It  leads  us  to 


DESIRE  FOR  IMPROVEMENT. 

^riiirst  for  improvement.  No  happiness  without  this. 

form  judicious  plans  of  action,  and  to  be  governed 
by  our  circumstances  in  such  a way  as  will  be 
generally  approved.  It  is  the  exercise  of  reason, 
uninfluenced  by  passion  or  prejudice.  To  man,  it 
is  nearly  what  instinct  is  to  brutes.  It  is  very 
difierent  from  genius  or  talent,  as  they  are  com- 
monly defined ; but  much  better  than  either.  It 
never  blazes  forth  with  the  splendor  of  noon,  but 
shines  with  a constant  and  useful  light.  To  the 
housewife  — but,  above  all,  to  the  mother,  — it  is 
indispensable. 

3.  DESIRE  FOR  IMPROVEMENT. 

Whatever  other  recommendations  a lady  may 
possess,  she  should  have  an  inextinguishable  thirst 
for  improvement.  No  sensible  person  can  be  truly 
happy  in  the  world,  without  this ; much  less  quali- 
fied to  make  others  happy.  But  the  genuine  spi- 
rit of  improvement,  wherever  it  exists,  atones  for 
the  absence  of  many  qualities  which  would  other- 
wise be  indispensable:  in  this  respect  resembling 
that  ^charity’  which  covers  ‘a  multitude  of  sins.’ 
Without  it,  almost  everything  would  be  of  little 
consequence,  — with  it,  every  thing  else  is  render- 
ed doubly  valuable. 

One  would  think  that  every  sensible  person,  of 
either  sex,  would  aspire  at  improvement,  were  it 
merely  to  avoid  the  shame  of  being  stationary  like 
the  brutes.  Above  all,  it  is  most  surprising  that 
any  lady  should  be  satisfied  to  pass  a day  or  even 
33 


S66  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Stupidity  of  some  of  both  sexes.  They  live  for  pleasur'd. 

an  hour  without  mental  and  moral  progress.  It 
is  no  discredit  to  the  lower  animals  that  — ‘ their 
little  all  flows  in  at  once,’  that  ‘in  ages  they  no 
more  can  know,  or  covet  or  enjoy,’  for  this  is  the 
legitimate  result  of  the  physical  constitution  which 
God  has  given  them.  But  it  is  far  otherwise  with 
the  masters  and  mistresses  of  creation  ; for 

‘Were  man  to  live  coeval  with  the  sun, 

The  patriarch  pupil  should  be  learning  still. 

And  dying,  leave  his  lessons  half  unlearnt.’ 

There  are,  — I am  sorry  to  say  it  — not  a few 
of  both  sexes  who  never  appear  to  breathe  out  one 
hearty  desire  to  rise,  intellectually  or  morally,  with 
a view  to  the  government  of  themselves  or  others. 
They  love  themselves  supremely  — their  friends 
subordinately — their  neighbors,  perhaps  not  at  all. 
But  neither  the  love  they  bear  to  themselves  or 
others  ever  leads  them  to  a single  series  of  any 
sort  of  action  which  has  for  its  ultimate  object  the 
inprovement  of  any  thing  higher  than  the  condition 
of  the  mp'e  animal.  Dress,  personal  appearance, 
equipage,  style  of  a dwelling  or  its  furniture,  with 
no  other  view,  however,  than  the  promotion  of 
mere  physical  enjoyment,  is  the  height  of  their 
desires  for  improvement ! 

Talk  to  them  of  elevating  the  intellect  or  im- 
proving the  heart,  and  they  admit  it  is  true;  but 
they  go  their  way  and  pursue  their  accustomed 
round  of  folly  again.  The  probability  is,  that 
though  they  assent  to  your  views,  they  do  not  un- 


DESIRE  FOR  IMPROVEMENT.  267 

Picture  ot  fashionable  life.  An  anecdote. 

derstand  you.  It  requires  a stretch  of  charity  to 
which  I am  wholly  unequal,  to  believe  that  beings 
who  ever  conceived,  for  one  short  moment,  of  the 
height  to  which  their  natures  may  be  elevated, 
should  sink  back  without  a single  struggle,  to  a 
mere  selfish,  unsocial,  animal  life ; — to  lying  in  bed 
ten  or  twelve  hours  daily,  rising  three  or  four  hours 
later  then  the  sun,  spending  the  morning  in  pre- 
paration at  the  glass,  the  remainder  of  the  time 
till  dinner  in  unmeaning  calls,  the  afternoon  in 
yawning  over  a novel,  and  the  evening  in  the  ex- 
citement of  the  tea  table  and  the  party,  and  the 
ball  room,  to  retire,  perhaps  at  midnight,  with  the 
mind  and  body  and  soul  in  a feverish  state,  to  toss 
away  the  night  in  vapid  or  distressing  dreams. 

How  beings  endowed  with  immortal  souls  can 
be  contented  to  while  away  precious  hours  in  a 
manner  so  useless,  and  withal  so  displeasing  to 
the  God  who  gave  them  their  time  for  the  im- 
provement of  themselves  and  others,  is  to  me  ab- 
solutely inconceivable!  Yet  it  is  certainly  done; 
and  that  not  merely  by  a few  solitary  individuals 
scattered  up  and  down  the  land;  but  in  some  of 
our  most  populous  cities,  by  considerable  numbers. 

A philanthropic  individual  not  long  since  under- 
took with  the  aid  of  others,  to  establish  a weekly  or 
semi-weekly  gazette  in  one  of  our  cities,  for  al- 
most the  sole  purpose,  as  I have  since  learned,  of 
rousing  the  drones  among  her  sex  to  benevolent 
action  in  some  form  or  other,  in  behalf  of  members 


268  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

A caution. One  worse  condition  than  celibacy. 

of  their  families,  their  fi’iends  or  their  neighbors. 
She  hoped,  at  first,  to  save  them  from  many 
hours  of  ennui  by  the  perusal  of  her  columns; 
and  that  their  minds  being  opened  to  instruction, 
and  their  hearts  made  to  vibrate  in  sympathy  with 
the  cries  of  ignorance,  poverty,  or  absolute  distress, 
their  hands  might  be  roused  to  action.  But  alas, 
the  articles  in  th6  paper  were  too  long,  or  too  dry. 
They  coulcf  not  task  their  minds  to  go  through 
with  an  argument. 

Should  the  young  man  who  is  seeking  an  ‘ help 
meet ,’  chance  to  fall  in  with  such  beings  as  these 
— and  some  we  fear  there  are  in  almost  every  part 
of  our  land,  — let  him  shun  them  as  he  would  the 
‘ choke  damp  ’ of  the  cavern. 

Their  society  would  extinguish,  rather  than  fan 
the  flame  of  every  generous  or  benevolent  feeling 
that  might  be  kindling  in  his  bosom.  With  the 
fond,  the  ardent,  the  never  failing  desire  to  im- 
prove, physically,  intellectually,  and  morally,  there 
are  few  females  who  may  not  make  tolerable  com^ 
panions  for  a man  of  sense;  — without  it,  though 
a young  lady  were  beautiful  and  otherwise  lovely 
beyond  comparison,  wealthy  as  the  Indies,  sur- 
rounded by  thousands  of  the  most  worthy  friends, 
and  even  talented,  let  him  beware ! Better  remain 
in  celibacy  a thousand  years  (could  life  last  so  long) 
great  as  the  evil  may  be,  than  form  a union  “with 
such  an  object.  He  should  pity,  and  seek  her  refor- 
mation, if  not  beyond  the  bounds  of  possibility ; but 


DESIRE  FOR  IMPROVEMENT.  269 

A point  to  be  early  settled.  Of  yielding  to  conviction. 

love  her  he  should  not!  The  penalty  will  be  ab- 
solutely insupportable. 

One  point  ought  to  be  settled,  — I think  unaltera- 
bly settled  — before  matrimony.  It  ought  indeed 
so  be  setded  in  early  life,  but  it  is  better  late,  per- 
haps, than  never.  Each  of  the  parties  should  con- 
sider themselves  as  sacredly  pledged,  in  all  cases,  to 
yield  to  conviction.  I have  no  good  opinion  of  the 
man  who  expects  his  wife  to  yield  her  opinion  to 
his,  on  every  occasion,  unless  she  is  convinced.  I 
say  on  every  occasion;  for  that  she  sometimes 
ought  to  do  so,  seems  to  be  both  scriptural  and 
rational.  It  would  be  very  inconvenient  to  call  in  a 
third  person  as  an  umpire  upon  every  slight  differ- 
ence of  opinion  between  a young  couple,  besides 
being  very  humiliating.  But  if  each  maintain,  with 
pertinacity,  their  opinion,  what  can  be  done?  It 
does  seem  to  me  that  every  sensible  woman,  who 
feels  any  good  degree  of  confidence  in  her  husband, 
will  perceive  the  propriety  of  yielding  her  opinion 
to  his  in  such  cases,  where  the  matter  is  of  such  a 
nature  that  it  cannot  be  delayed.  * 

But  there  are  a thousand  things  occurring,  in  which 
there  is  no  necessity  of  forming  an  immediate  opin- 
ion, or  decision,  except  from  conviction.  I should 
never  like  the  idea  of  a woman’s  conforming  to  her 
husband’s  views  to  please  him,  merely,  without  con- 
sidering whether  they  are  correct  or  not.  It  seems 
to  me  a sort  of  treason  against  the  God  who  gave 

23* 


270  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

A miserable  wife.  A thrice  miserable  husband^ 

her  a mind  of  her  own,  with  an  intention  that  she 
should  use  it.  But  it  would  be  higher  treason 
still,  in  male,  or  female,  not  to  yield,  when  actual* 
ly  convinced. 

4,  FONDNESS  FOR  CHILDREN. 

Few  traits  of  female  character  are  more  impor** 
taut  than  this.  Yet  there  is  much  reason  to  be-* 
lieve  that,  even  in  contemplating  an  engagement 
that  is  expected  to  last  for  life,  it  is  almost  univer-* 
sally  overlooked.  Without  it,  though  a woman 
should  possess  every  accomplishment  of  person, 
mind,  and  manners,  she  would  be  poor  indeed; 
and  would  probably  render  those  around  her  mis- 
erable. I speak  now  generally.  There  may  be 
exceptions  to  this,  as  to  other  general  rules.  A 
dislike  of  children,  even  in  men,  is  an  unfavorable 
omen ; in  woman  it  is  insupportable ; for  it  is 
grossly  unnatural.  To  a susceptible,  intelligent, 
virtuous  mind,  I can  scarcely  conceive  of  a worse 
situation  in  this  world  or  any  other,  than  to  be 
chained  for  life  to  a person  who  hates  children. 
You  can  purchase,  if  you  have  the  pecuniary  means, 
almost  every  thing  but  maternal  love.  This  no 
gold  can  buy.  Wo  to  the  female  who  is  doomed 
to  drag  out  a miserable  existence  with  a husband 
who  ‘can’t  bear  children;’  but  thrice  miserable 
is  the  doom  of  him  who  has  a wife  and  a family 
of  children,  but  whose  children  have  no  mother  I 


FONDNESS  FOR  CHILDREN.  271 

Marriage  not  a lottery.  Anecdote  of  the  Chinese 

If  there  be  orphans  any  where  in  the  wide  world, 
they  are  these.* 

The  more  I reflect  on  the  four  last  mentioned 
traits  of  female  character,  the  more  they  rise  in  my 
estimation,  eclipsing  all  others;  unless  perhaps,  a 
good  temper. 

It  is  said  that  after  every  precaution,  the  choice 
of  a wife  is  like  buying  a ticket  in  a lottery.  If 
we  were  absolutely  deaf  and  blind  in  the  selection, 
and  were  so  from  necessity,  the  maxim  might  be 
just.  But  this  is  not  so.  We  shut  our  eyes  and 
atop  our  ears  voluntarily,  and  then  complain  of  the 
imperfection  of  our  means  of  forming  a judgment, 

* It  is  worthy  of  remark,  as  a well  established  fact,  that 
the  Chinese  have  an  Isan-mon  or  mother,  to  their  silk- 
worms! Her  duty  is,  not  to  attend  to  the  eggs  and  the 
hatching,  for  nature  has  made  provision  for  that;  but  to 
take  possession  of  the  chamber  where  the  young  are  depoS" 
ited;  to  see  that  it  be  free  from  ‘noisome  smells,  and  all 
noises;’  to  attend  to  its  temperature,  and  to  ‘ avoid  making 
a smoke,  or  raising  a dust.’  She  must  not  enter  the  room 
till  she  is  perfectly  clean  in  person  and  dress,  and  must  be 
clothed  in  a very  plain  habit ; and  in  order  to  be  more  sen- 
sible to  the  temperature  of  the  place,  her  dress  must  contain 
no  lining. 

Now  although  every  mother  of  children  does  not  have  the 
care  of  silkworms,  yet  she  has  the  care  of  beings  who  are  in 
some  respects  equally  susceptible.  And  I trust  no  person  who 
knows  the  importance  of  temperature,  ventilation,  &c.  es- 
pecially to  the  tender  infant,  will  be  ashamed  to  derive  ao 
important  lesson  from  the  foregoing. 


272  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE, 

On  studying  the  bent  of  a young  lady’s  mind  Difecultie^ 

Jn  truth  we  impeach  the  goodness  of  Him  who 
was  the  author  of  the  institution. 

No  young  man  is  worthy  of  a wife  who  has  not 
sense  enough  to  determine,  even  after  a few  inter- 
views, what  the  bent  of  a lady’s  mind  is;  — wheth- 
er she  listens  with  most  pleasure  to  conversation 
which  is  wholly  unimproving,  or  whether  she 
gladly  turns  from  it,  when  an  opportunity  ofterS) 
to  subjects  which  are  above  the  petty  chit-chat 
or  common  but  fashionable  scandal  of  the  day; 
and  above  all,  avoids  retailing  it.  He  knows,  or 
may  know,  without  a ‘seven  years’  acquaintance, 
whether  she  spends  a part  of  her  leisure  time  in 
reading,  or  whether  the  whole  is  spent  in  dressing, 
visiting,  or  conversing  about  plays,  actors,  theatres, 
&c.  And  if  she  reads  a part  of  the  time,  the  fault 
must  be  his  own,  if  he  does  not  know  whether 
she  relishes  any  thing  but  the  latest  novel,  or  the 
most  light  — not  to  say  empty  — periodical.  Let 
it  be  remembered,  then,  by  every  young  man  that 
the  fault  is  his  own,  if  he  do  not  give  himself  time, 
before  he  forms  an  engagement  that  is  to  last  for 
life,  to  ascertain  whether  his  friendship  is  to  be 
formed  with  a person  who  is  desirous  of  improve- 
ment, or  with  one  who,  living  only  for  pleasure, 
is  ‘ dead  while  she  liveth.’ 

You  will  say  it  is  difficult  to  ascertain  whether 
she  is  fond  of  children  or  not.  But  I doubt  it. 
Has  she  then  no  young  brothers,  or  sisters,  or 
cousins?  Are  there  no  children  in  the  neighbor- 


LOVE  OF  DOMESTIC  LIFE.  273 

Hints.  Reflections.  Love  of  domestic  life. 

hood  ? For  if  there  are,  — if  there  is  but  one,  and 
she  sees  that  individual  but  once  a week,  — the 
fact  may  easily  be  ascertained.  If  she  loves  that 
child,  the  child  will  love  her;  and  its  eye  will 
brighten  when  it  sees  her,  or  hears  her  name  men- 
tioned. Children  seldom  fail  to  keep  debt  and 
credit  in  these  matters,  and  tliey  know  how  to 
balance  the  account,  with  great  ingenuity. 

These  remarks  are  made,  not  in  the  belief  that 
they  will  benefit  those  who  are  already  blinded  by 
fancy  or  passion,  but  with  the  hope  that  some  more 
fortunate  reader  may  reflect  on  the  probable  chances 
of  happiness  or  misery,  and  pause  before  he  leaps 
into  the  vortex  of  matrimonial  discord.  No  home 
can  ever  be  a happy  one  to  any  of  its  inmates, 
where  there  is  no  maternal  love,  nor  any  desire  for 
mental  or  moral  improvement.  But  where  these 
exist,  in  any  considerable  degree,  and  the  original 
attachment  was  founded  on  correct  principles,  there 
is  always  hope  of  brighter  days,  even  though  clouds 
at  present  obscure  the  horizon.  No  woman  who 
loves  her  husband,  and  desires  to  make  continual 
improvement,  will  long  consent  to  render  those 
around  her  unhappy, 

5.  LOVE  OF  DOMESTIC  CONCERNS. 

Without  the  knowledge  and  the  love  of  domes- 
tic concerns,  even  the  wife  of  a peer,  is  but  a poor 
affair.  It  was  the  fashion,  in  former  times,  for 
ladies  to  understand  a great  deal  about  these  things. 


274 


THE  YOUNG  MAN^S  GUIDE. 


Family  management.  Influence  of  domestics. 

and  it  would  be  very  hard  to  make  me  believe  that 
it  did  not  tend  to  promote  the  interests  and  honor 
of  their  husbands. 

The  concerns  of  a great  family  never  can  be  well 
managed,  if  left  wholly  to  hirelings ; and  there  are 
many  parts  of  these  affairs  in  which  it  would  be 
unseemly  for  husbands  to  meddle.  Surely,  no  lady 
can  be  too  high  in  rank  to  make  it  proper  for  her  to 
be  well  acquainted  v itli  the  character  and  general 
demeanor  of  all  the  female  servants.  To  receive 
and  give  character  is  too  much  to  be  left  to  a ser- 
vant, however  good,  whose  service  has  been  ever 
so  long,  or  acceptable. 

Much  of  the  ease  and  happiness  of  the  great  and 
rich  must  depend  on  the  character  of  those  by 
whom  they  are  assisted.  They  live  under  the  same 
roof  with  them;  they  are  frequently  the  children 
of  their  tenants,  or  poorer  neighbors ; the  conduct 
of  their  whole  lives  must  be  influenced  by  the  ex- 
amples and  precepts  which  they  here  imbibe ; and 
when  ladies  consider  how  much  more  weight  there 
must  be  in  one  word  from  them,  than  in  ten  thou- 
sand words  from  a person  who,  call  her  what  you 
like,  is  still  a felloiv  servant,  it  does  appear  strange 
that  they  sliould  forego  the  performance  of  this  at 
once  important  and  pleasing  part  of  their  duty. 

I am,  how'ever,  addressing  myself,  in  this  work, 
to  persons  in  the  middle  ranks  of  life  ; and  here  a 
knowledge  of  domestic  affairs  is  so  necessary  m 
every  wife,  that  the  lover  ought  to  have  it  continu-* 


LOVfi  OF  DOMFStIC  LIFE.  275 

No  domestics  necessary  in  common  life.  Their  inconvenience. 


ally  in  his  eye.  Not  only  a knowledge  of  these 
affairs  — not  only  to  know  how  things  ought  to  he 
done,  but  how  to  do  them ; not  only  to  know  what 
ingredients  ought  to  be  put  into  a pie  or  a pudding, 
but  to  be  able  to  make  the  pie  or  the  pudding. 

Young  people,  when  they  come  together,  ought 
not,  unless  they  have  fortunes,  or  are  to  do  unusual 
business,  to  think  about  servants!  Servants  for 
what!  To  help  them  eat,  and  drink,  and  sleep 
When  they  have  children,  there  must  be  some  help 
in  a farmer’s  or  ti'adesman’s  house,  but  until  then, 
what  call  is  there  for  a servant  in  a house,  the  mas- 
ter of  which  has  to  earn  every  mouthful  that  is 
consumed  ? 

Eating  and  drinking  come  three  times  every  day; 
they  must  come ; and,  however  little  we  may,  in 
the  days  of  our  health  and  vigor,  care  about  choice 
food  and  about  cookery,  we  very  soon  get  tired  of 
heavy  or  burnt  bread,  and  of  spoiled  joints  of  meat. 
We  bear  them  for  once  or  twice  perhaps;  but 
about  the  third  time,  we  begin  to  lament ; about  the 
fifth  time,  it  must  be  an  extraordinary  affair  that 
will  keep  us  from  complaining;  if  the  like  continue 
for  a month  or  two,  we  begin  to  repent ; and  then 
adieu  to  all  our  anticipated  delights.  We  discover, 
when  it  is  too  late,  that  we  have  not  got  a help- 
mate, but  a burden;  and,  the  fire  of  love  being 
damped,  the  unfortunately  educated  creature,  whose 
parents  are  more  to  blame  than  she  is,  unless  she 
resolve  to  learn  her  duty,  is  doomed  to  lead  a life 


276  TriE  YOUNG  man’s  guide. 

Duties  belonging  to  every  housewife.  In  particular  situations. 

very  nearly  approaching  to  that  of  misery  ; for,  how- 
ever considerate  the  husband,  he  never  can  esteem 
her  as  he  would  have  done,  had  she  been  skilled  in 
domestic  affairs. 

The  mere  manual  performance  of  domestic  la- 
bors is  not,  indeed,  absolutely  necessaiy  in  the 
female  head  of  the  family  of  professional  men;- 
but,  even  here,  and  also  in  the  case  of  great  mer- 
chants and  of  gentlemen  living  on  their  fortunes,: 
surely  the  head  of  the  household  ought  to  be  able 
to  give  directions  as  to  the  purchasing  of  meal,* 
salting  meat,  making  bread,  making  preserves  of 
all  sorts ; and  ought  to  see  the  things  done. 

The  lady  ought  to  take  care  that  food  be  well 
cooked ; that  there  be  always  a sufficient  supply ; 
that  there  be  good  living  without  waste ; and  that 
in  her  department,  nothing  shall  be  seen  inconsist- 
ent with  the  rank,  station,  and  character  of  her 
husband.  If  he  have  a skilful  and  industrious 
wife,  he  will,  unless  he  be  of  a singularly  foolish 
turn,  gladly  leave  all  these  things  to  her  absolute 
dominion,  controlled  only  by  the  extent  of  the 
whole  expenditure,  of  which  he  must  be  the  best 
judge. 

But,  in  a farmer’s  or  a tradesman’s  family,  the 
manual  performance  is  absolutely  necessary,  wheth- 
er there  be  domestics  or  not.  No  one  knows  how' 
to  teach  another  so  well  as  one  who  has  done,  and 
can  do,  the  thing  himself.  It  was  said  of  a famous 
French  commander,  that,  in  attacking  an  enemy^) 


LOVE  OF  DOMESTIC  LIFE.  277 

Difference  between  go  and  come.  A rule.  Female  playthings. 


he  did  not  say  to  his  men  ^go  on,’  but  ^come  on^’ 
and,  whoever  has  well  observed  the  movements 
of  domestics,  must  know  what  a prodigious  differ- 
ence there  is  in  the  effect  of  the  words,  go  and 
come, 

A very  good  rule  would  be,  to  have  nothing  to 
eat,  in  a farmer’s  or  mechanic’s  house,  that  the 
mistress  did  not  know  how  to  prepare  and  to  cook ; 
no  pudding,  tait,  pie  or  cake,  that  she  did  not  know 
how  to  make.  Never  fear  the  toil  to  her : exercise 
is  good  for  health ; and  without  health  there  is  no 
beauty.  Besides,  what  is  the  labor  in  such  a case  ? 
And  how  many  thousands  of  ladies,  who  idle  away 
the  day,  would  give  half  their  fortunes  for  that 
sound  sleep  which  the  stirring  housewife  seldom 
fails  to  enjoy. 

Yet,  if  a young  farmer  or  mechanic  marry  a girl, 
who  has  been  brought  up  only  to  ^play  music ; ’ to 
draw,  to  sing,  to  waste  paper,  pen  and  ink  in 
writing  long  and  half  romantic  letters,  and  to  see 
shows,  and  plays,  and  read  novels;  — if  a young 
man  do  maiTy  such  an  unfortunate  young  creature, 
let  him  bear  the  consequences  with  temper.  Let 
him  hQ  just.  Justice  will  teach  him  to  treat  her 
wdth  great  indulgence ; to  endeavor  to  persuade  her 
to  learn  her  business  as  a wife ; to  be  patient  with 
her ; to  reflect  that  he  has  taken  her,  being  appriz- 
ed of  her  inability ; to  bear  in  mind,  that  he  was, 
or  seemed  to  be,  pleased  with  her  showy  and  use- 
less acquirements;  and  that,  when  the  gratifica- 
24 


S78  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

An  unhappy  companion.  The  wives  of  farmers  and  tradesmen. 


tion  of  his  passion  has  been  accomplished,  he  is 
unjust,  and  cruel,  and  unmanly,  if  he  turn  round 
upon  her,  and  accuse  her  of  a want  of  that  know- 
ledge, which  he  well  knew,  beforehand,  she  did  not 
possess. 

For  my  part,  I do  not  know,  nor  can  I form  an 
idea  of,  a more  unfortunate  being  than  a girl  with 
a mere  boarding  school  education,  and  without  a 
fortune  to  enable  her  to  keep  domestics,  when  mar- 
ried. Of  what  use  are  her  accomplishments  ? Of 
what  use  her  music,  her  drawing,  and  her  romantic 
epistles  ? If  she  should  chance  to  possess  a sweet 
disposition,  and  good  nature,  the  first  faint  cry  of 
her  first  babe  drives  all  the  tunes  and  all  the  land- 
scapes, and  all  the  imaginary  beings  out  of  her 
head  for  ever. 

The  farmer  or  the  tradesman’s  wife  has  to  help 
earn  a provision  for  her  children;  or,  at  the  least, 
to  help  to  earn  a store  for  sickness  or  old  age.  She 
ought,  therefore,  to  be  qualified  to  begin,  at  once, 
to  assist  her  husband  in  his  earnings.  The  way  in 
which  she  can  most  efficiently  assist,  is  by  taking 
care  of  his  property ; by  expending  his  money  to 
the  greatest  advantage  ; by  wasting  nothing,  but  by 
making  the  table  sufficiently  abundant  with  the 
least  expense.. 

But  how  is  she  to  do  these  things,  unless  she 
has  been  brought  up  to  understand  domestic  af- 
fairs? How  is  she  to  do  these  things,  if  she  has 
been  taught  to  think  these  matters  beneath  her 


SOBRIETY.  279 

Where  a lady  is  really  ignorant.  Importance  of  sobriety. 

Study  ? How  is  the  man  to  expect  her  to  do  these 
things,  if  she  has  been  so  bred,  as  to  make  her 
habitually  look  upon  them  as  worthy  the  attention 
of  none  but  low  and  ignorant  women? 

Ignorant,  indeed ! Ignorance  consists  in  a want 
of  knowledge  of  those  things  which  your  calling  or 
state  of  life  naturally  supposes  you  to  understand. 
A ploughman  is  not  an  ignorant  man  because  he 
does  not  know  how  to  read.  If  he  knows  how  to 
plough,  he  is  not  to  be  called  an  ignorant  man; 
but  a wife  may  be  justly  called  an  ignorant  wo- 
man, if  she  does  not  know  how  to  provide  a din- 
ner for  her  husband.  It  is  cold  comfort  for  a hun- 
gry man,  to  tell  him  how  delightfully  his  wife  plays 
and  sings.  Lovers  may  live  on  very  aerial  diet,  but 
husbands  stand  in  need  of  something  more  solid; 
and  young  women  may  take  my  word  for  it,  that 
a constantly  clean  table,  well  cooked  victuals,  a 
house  in  order,  and  a cheerful  fire,  will  do  more 
towards  preserving  a husband’s  heart,  than  all  the 
‘ accomplishments’  taught  in  all  the  ‘ establishments’ 
in  the  world  without  them. 

6.  SOBRIETY. 

Surely  no  reasonable  young  man  will  expect 
sobriety  in  a companion,  when  he  does  not  possess 
this  qualification  himself.  But  by  sobriety,  I do 
not  mean  a habit  which  is  opposed  to  intoxication, 
for  if  that  be  hateful  in  a man,  what  must  it  be  in 
a woman  ? Besides,  it  doe3  seeni  to  me  that  no 


S80  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Sobriety  means  more  than  mere  abstinence  from  strong  drink. 


young  man,  with  his  eyes  open,  and  his  other  senses 
perfect,  needs  any  caution  on  that  point.  .Drunken- 
ness, downright  drunkenness,  is  usually  as  incom- 
patible with  purity,  as  it  is  with  decency. 

Much  is  sometimes  said  in  favor  of  a little  wine 
or  other  fermented  liquors,  especially  at  dinner. 
No  young  lady,  in  health,  needs  any  of  these 
stimulants.  Wine,  or  ale,  or  cider,  at  dinner!  I 
would  as  soon  take  a companion  from  the  streets,  as 
one  who  must  habitually  have  her  glass  or  two  of 
wine  at  dinner.  And  this  is  not  an  opinion  formed 
prematurely  or  hastily. 

But  by  the  word  sobriety  in  a young  woman, 
1 mean  a great  deal  more  than  even  a rigid  absti- 
nence from  a love  of  drink,  which  I do  not  believe 
to  exist  to  any  considerable  degree,  in  this  country, 
even  in  the  least  refined  parts  of  it.  I mean  a great 
deal  more  than  this;  I mean  sobriety  of  conduct. 
The  word  sober  and  its  derivatives  mean  steadi- 
ness, seriousness,  carefulness,  scrupulous  propriety  of 
conduct. 

Now  this  kmd  of  sobriety  is  of  great  importance 
in  the  person  with  whom  we  are  to  live  con- 
stantly. Skipping,  romping,  rattling  girls  are  very 
amusing  where  all  consequences  are  out  of  the 
question , and  they  may,  perhaps,  ultimately  become 
sober.  But  while  you  have  no  certainty  of  this, 
there  is  a presumptive  argument  on  the  other  side. 
To  be  sure,  when  girls  are  mere  children,  they 
are  expected  to  play  and  romp  like  children.  But 


A voice  of  experience. 


SOBRIETY.  281 

How  to  maintain  cheerfulness 


■when  they  are  arrived  at  an  age  which  turns  their 
thoughts  towards  a situation  for  life ; when  they 
begin  to  think  of  having  the  command  of  a house, 
however  small  or  poor,  it  is  time  for  them  to  cast 
away,  not  the  cheerfulness  or  the  simplicity,  but 
the  levity  of  the  child. 

‘ If  I could  not  have  found  a young  woman,’  says 
a certain  writer,  ‘who  I was  not  sure  possessed 
all  the  qualities  expressed  by  that  word  sobriety^  I 
should  have  remained  a bachelor  to  the  end  of  life. 
Scores  of  gentlemen  have,  at  different  times,  ex- 
pressed to  me  their  surprise  that  I was  “ always  in 
spirits;  that  nothing  pulled  me  down;^^  and  the 
truth  is,  that  throughout  nearly  forty  years  of 
troubles,  losses,  and  crosses,  assailed  all  the  while 
by  numerous  and  powerful  enemies,  and  perform- 
ing, at  the  same  time,  greater  mental  labors  than 
man  ever  before  performed;  all  those  labors  re- 
quiring mental  exertion,  and  some  of  them  mental 
exertion  of  the  highest  order,  I have  never  known 
a single  hour  of  real  anxiety;  the  troubles  have 
been  no  troubles  to  me ; I have  not  known  what 
lowness  of  spirits  meant ; and  have  been  more  gay, 
and  felt  less  care  than  any  bachelor  that  ever  lived. 
“You  are  always  in  spirits!”  To  be  sure,  for  why 
should  I not  be  so  ? Poverty,  I have  always  set  at 
defiance,  and  I could,  therefore,  defy  the  tempta- 
lions  to  riches;  and  as  to  home  and  children^  I had 
taken  care  to  provide  myself  with  an  inexhaustible 
store  of  that  “sobriety”  which  I so  strongly  recom- 
mend to  others.  24* 


282 


THE  YOUNG  MAN  S GUIDE. 


Reposing  entire  confidence  in  a companion.  Choice  of  one. 

‘This  sobriety  is  a title  to  trustwoi-thiness ; and 
this,  young  man,  is  the  treasure  that  you  ought  to 
prize  above  all  others.  Miserable  is  the  husband 
who,  when  he  crosses  the  threshold  of  his  house, 
candes  with  him  doubts,  and  fears,  and  suspicions. 
I do  not  mean  suspicions  of  the  fidelity  of  his  wife ; 
but  of  her  care,  frugality,  attention  to  his  interests, 
and  to  the  health  and  morals  of  his  children.  Mis- 
erable is  the  man  who  cannot  leave  all  unlocked ; 
and  who  is  not  sure,  quite  certain,  that  all  is  as  safe 
as  if  grasped  in  his  own  hand. 

‘ He  is  the  happy  husband  who  can  go  away  at 
a moment’s  warning,  leaving  his  house  and  family 
with  as  little  anxiety  as  he  quits  an  inn,  no  more 
fearing  to  find,  on  his  return,  any  thing  wrong,  than 
he  would  fear  a discontinuance  of  the  rising  and 
setting  of  the  sun;  and  if,  as  in  my  case,  leaving 
books  and  papers  all  lying  about  at  sixes  and  sev- 
ens, finding  them  aiTanged  in  proper  order,  and 
the  room,  during  the  lucky  interval,  freed  from  the 
effects  of  his  and  his  ploughman’s  or  gardener’s 
dirty  shoes.  Such  a man  has  no  real  cares  — no 
troubles ; and  this  is  the  sort  of  life  I have  led.  I 
have  had  all  the  numerous  and  indescribable  de- 
lights of  home  and  children,  and  at  the  same  time, 
all  the  bachelor’s  freedom  from  domestic  cares. 

‘ But  in  order  to  possess  this  precious  ti'ustworth- 
iness,  you  must,  if  you  can,  exercise  your  reason 
in  the  choice  of  your  partner.  If  she  be  vain  of 
her  person,  very  fond  of  dress,  fond  of  fiattery  at 


SOBRIETY.  283 

Reposing  confidence  in  a companion.  Human  nature.  Anecdote. 


all,  given  to  gadding  about,  fond  of  w^hat  are  called 
parties  of  pleasure^  or  coquetish,  though  in  the  least 
degree,  — she  ’will  never  be  trustworthy;  she  can- 
not change  her  nature ; and  if  you  marry  her,  you 
will  be  unjust,  if  you  expect  trustworthiness  at  her 
hands.  But  on  the  other  hand,  if  you  find  in  her 
that  innate  sobriety  of  which  I have  been  speaking, 
there  is  required  on  your  part,  and  that  at  once, 
too,  confidence  and  trust  without  any  limit.  Con- 
fidence in  this  case  is  nothing,  unless  it  be  recipro- 
cal. To  have  a trustworthy  wife,  you  must  begin 
by  showing  her,  even  before  marriage,  that  you 
have  no  suspicions,  fears,  or  doubts  in  regard  to 
her.  Many  a man  has  been  discarded  by  a virtu- 
ous girl,  merely  on  account  of  his  querulous  con- 
duct. All  women  despise  jealous  men,  and  if  they 
marry  them,  their  motive  is  other  than  that  of  af' 
fection.’ 

There  is  a tendency,  in  our  very  natures,  to 
become  what  we  are  taken  to  be.  Beware  then  of 
suspicion  or  jealousy,  lest  you  produce  the  very 
thing  which  you  most  dread.  The  evil  results  of 
suspicion  and  jealousy  whether  in  single  or  mar- 
ried, public  or  private  life,  may  be  seen  by  the  fol- 
lowing fact. 

A certain  professional  gentleman  had  the  mis- 
fortune to  possess  a suspicious  temper.  He  had 
not  a better  friend  on  the  earth  than  Mr.  C.,  yet  by 
some  unaccountable  whim  or  other,  be  began  of  a 
sudden  to  suspect  he  was  his  enemy ; — and  what 


284  THE  YOUNG  MAn’s  GUIDE 

Picture  of  domestic  felicity. 


A contrast 


was  at  first  at  the  farthest  possible  remove  from 
the  truth,  ultimately  grew  to  be  a reality.  Had  it 
not  have  been  for  his  jealousy,  Mr.  C.  might  have 
been  to  this  hour  one  of  the  doctor’s  warmest  and 
most  confidential  friends,  instead  of  being  removed 
— and  in  a great  measure  through  Ms  influence  — 
from  a useful  field  of  labor. 

‘ Let  any  man  observe  as  I frequently  have,’  says 
the  writer  last  quoted,  ‘ with  delight,  the  excessive 
fondness  of  the  laboring  people  for  their  children. 
Let  him  observe  with  what  care  they  dress  them 
out  on  Sundays  with  means  deducted  from  their 
own  scanty  meals.  Let  him  observe  the  husband, 
who  has  toiled,  like  his  horse,  all  the  week,  nursing 
the  babe,  while  the  wife  is  preparing  dinner.  Let 
him  observe  them  both  abstaining  fi*om  a suffi- 
ciency, lest  the  children  should  feel  the  pinchings 
of  hunger.  Let  him  observe,  in  short,  the  whole 
of  their  demeanor,  the  real  mutual  affection  evinc- 
ed, not  in  words,  but  in  unequivocal  deeds. 

^ Let  him  observe  these  things,  and  having  then 
cast  a look  at  the  lives  of  the  great  and  wealthy,  he 
will  say,  with  me,  that  when  a man  is  choosing 
his  partner  for  life,  the  dread  of  poverty  ought  to 
be  cast  to  the  winds.  A laborer’s  cottage  in  a 
cleanly  condition ; the  husband  or  wife  having  a 
babe  in  arms,  looking  at  two  or  three  older  ones, 
playing  between  the  flower  borders,  going  from  the 
wicket  to  the  door,  is,  according  to  my  taste,  the 
most  interesting  object  that  eyes  ever  beheld ; and 


SOBRIETY.  285 

Another  anecdote.  A serious  mistake.  Charity. 

it  is  an  object  to  be  seen  in  no  country  on  earth  but 
England.’ 

It  happens,  however,  that  the  writer  had  not 
seen  all  the  countries  upon  earth,  nor  even  all  in  the 
interior  of  United  America.  There  are  as  moving 
instances  of  native  simplicity  and  substantial  hap- 
piness here  as  in  any  other  country;  and  occa- 
sionally in  even  the  higher  classes.  The  wife  of 
a distuiguished  lawyer  and  senator  in  Congress, 
never  left  the  society  of  her  own  children,  to  go 
for  once  to  see  her  friends  abroad,  in  eleven  years  ! 
I am  not  defending  the  conduct  of  the  husband 
who  would  doom  his  wife  to  imprisonment  in  his 
own  house,  even  amid  a happy  group  of  children, 
for  eleven  years ; but  the  example  shows,  at  least, 
that  there  are  women  fitted  for  domestic  life  in  other 
countries  besides  England. 

Ardent  young  men  may  fear  that  great  sobriety 
in  a young  woman  argues  a want  of  that  warmth 
which  they  naturally  so  much  desire  and  approve. 
But  observation  and  experience  attest  to  the  con- 
traiy.  They  tell  us  that  levity  is  ninety-nine  times 
out  of  a hundred,  the  companion  of  a want  of 
ardent  feeling.  But  the  licentious  never  love.  Their 
passion  is  chiefly  animal.  Even  better  women,  if 
they  possess  light  and  frivolous  minds,  have  seldom 
any  ardent  passion. 

I would  not,  however,  recommend  that  you 
should  be  too  severe  in  judging,  when  the  conduct 
does  not  go  beyond  mere  levity^  and  is  not  border- 


286  THE  young  MAN^s}  guide. 

Another  mistake  corrected.  Temperance  of  mind  as  well  asbo^y. 

ing  on  loose  conduct ; for  something  certainly  de- 
pends here  on  constitution  and  animal  spirits,  and 
something  on  the  manners  of  the  country. 

If  any  person  imagine  that  the  sobriety  I have 
been  recommending  would  render  young  women 
moping  or  gloomy,  he  is  much  mistaken,  for  the 
contrary  is  the  fact.  I have  uniformly  found  — 
and  I began  to  observe  it  in  my  very  childhood  — 
that  your  jovial  souls,  men  or  women,  except  when 
over  the  bottle,  are  of  all  human  beings  the  most 
dull  and  insipid.  They  can  no  more  exist  — they 
may  vegetate  — but  they  can  no  more  live  without 
some  excitement,  than  a fish  could  live  on  the  top 
of  the  Alleghany.  If  it  be  not  the  excitement  of 
the  bottle,  it  must  be  that  of  the  tea  or  the  coffee 
cup,  or  food  converted  into  some  unwholesome 
form  or  other  by  condiments ; or  if  it  be  none  of 
these,  they  must  have  some  excitement  of  the  in- 
tellect, for  intemperance  is  not  confined  to  the  use 
of  condiments  and  poisons  for  the  body ; there  are 
condiments  and  poisons  to  mind  and  heait.  In 
fact,  they  usually  accompany  each  other. 

Show  me  a person  who  cannot  live  on  plain 
and  simple  food  and  the  only  didnk  the  Creator 
ever  made,  and  as  a general  rule  you  will  show  me 
a person  to  whom  the  plain  and  the  solid  and  the 
useful  in  domestic,  social,  intellectual,  and  moral  life 
are  insipid  if  not  disgusting.  ‘ They  are  welcome  to 
all  that  sort  of  labor,’  said  one  of  these  creatui-es — not 
rationals  — this  very  doy,  to  me,  in  relation  to  plain 


SOBRIETY. 


28? 

Unfit  for  matrimony 


Females  who  cannot  help  themselves. 

domestic  employments. — Show  me  a female,  as 
many,  alas ! very  many  in  fashionable  life  are  now 
trained,  and  you  show  me  a person  who  has  none 
of  the  qualities  that  fit  her  to  be  a help  meet  for  man 
in  a life  of  simplicity.  She  could  recite  well  at  the 
high  school,  no  doubt ; but  the  moment  she  leaves 
school,  she  has  nothing  to  do,  and  is  taught  to  do 
nothing.  I have  seen  girls,  of  this  description,  and 
they  may  be  seen  by  others. 

But  what  is  such  a female  — One  who  can  hardly 
help  herself — good  for,  at  home  or  abroad ; married, 
or  single  ? The  moment  she  has  not  some  feast,  or 
party,  or  play,  or  novel,  or  — I know  not  what  — 
something  to  keep  up  a fever,  the  moment  I say  that 
she  has  not  something  of  this  sort  to  anticipate  or 
enjoy,  that  moment  she  is  miserable.  Wo  to  the 
young  man  who  becomes  wedded  for  life  to  a crea- 
ture of  this  description.  She  may  stay  at  home,  for 
want  of  a better  place,  and  she  may  add  one  to  the 
national  census  every  ten  years,  but  a companion, 
or  a mother,  she  cannot  be. 

I should  dislike  a moping  melancholy  creature 
as  much  as  any  man,  though  were  I tied  to  such  a 
thing,  I could  live  with  her ; but  I never  could  en- 
joy her  society,  nor  but  half  of  my  own.  He  is 
but  half  a man  who  is  thus  wedded,  and  will  ex- 
claim, in  a literal  sense,  ‘ When  shall  I be  deliver- 
ed from  the  body  of  this  death  ? ’ j 

One  hour,  an  animal  of  this  sort  is  moping,  es- 
pecially if  nobody  but  her  husband  is  present  j the 


288 


THE  YOUNG  man’s  GUIDE. 


Female  avarice.  Woman  a help  meet.  Mistaken  notions. 

next  hour,  if  others  happen  to  be  present,  she  has 
plenty  of  smiles ; the  next  she  is  giggling  or  caper- 
ing about ; and  the  next  singing  to  the  motion  of  a 
lazy  needle,  or  perhaps  weeping  over  a novel. 
And  this  is  called  sentiment ! She  is  a woman  of 
feeling  and  good  taste ! 

7.  INDUSTRY. 

Let  not  the  individual  whose  eye  catches  the 
word  industry^  at  the  beginning  of  this  division  of 
my  subject,  condemn  me  as  degrading  females  to 
the  condition  of  mere  wheels  in  a machine  for 
money-making;  for  I mean  no  such  thing.  There 
is  nothing  more  abhorrent  to  the  soul  of  a sensible 
man  than  female  avarice.  The  ‘spint  of  a man’ 
may  sustain  him,  while  he  sees  avaricious  and 
miserly  individuals  among  his  own  sex,  though  the 
sight  is  painful  enough,  even  here;  but  a female 
miser,  ‘ who  can  bear  ? ’ 

Still  if  woman  is  intended  to  be  a ‘help  meet,’ 
for  the  other  sex,  I know  of  no  reason  why  she 
should  not  be  so  in  physical  concerns,  as  well  as 
mental  and  moral.  I know  not  by  what  rule  it  is 
that  many  resolve  to  remain  for  ever  in  celibacy, 
unless  they  believe  their  companion  can  ‘ support  ’ 
them,  without  labor.  I have  sometimes  even 
doubted  whether  any  person  who  makes  these  de- 
clarations can  be  sincere.  Yet  when  I hear  people, 
of  both  sexes,  speak  of  poverty  as  a greater  calamity 
than  de^th,  I am  led  to  think  that  this  dread  of 


A loud  call. 


INDUSTRY.  289 

Every  person  needs  moderate  exercise. 


poverty  does  really  exist  among  both  sexes.  And 
there  are  reasons  for  believing  that  some  females, 
bred  in  fashionable  life,  look  forward  to  matiimony 
as  a state,  of  such  entire  exemption  from  care  and 
labor,  and  of  such  uninterrupted  ease,  that  they 
would  prefer  celibacy  and  even  death  to  those  du- 
ties which  scripture,  and  reason,  and  common  sense, 
appear  to  me  to  enjoin. 

Such  persons,  whatever  may  be  their  other  quali- 
fications, I call  upon  every  young  man  to  avoid,  as 
he  w^ould  a pestilence.  If  they  are  really  determin- 
ed to  live  and  act  as  mere  drones  in  society,  let 
them  live  alone.  Do  not  give  them  an  opportunity 
to  spread  the  infection  of  so  wretched  a disease,  if 
3mu  can  honestly  help  it. 

The  w^oman  wdio  does  not  actually  prefer  action 
to  inaction  — industry  to  idleness  — labor  to  ease  — - 
and  who  does  not  steadfiistly  resolve  to  labor  mode- 
rately as  long  as  she  lives,  whatever  may  be  her 
circumstances,  is  unfit  for  life,  social  or  domestic. 
It  is  not  for  me  to  say,  in  what  form  her  labor  shall 
be  applied,  except  in  rearing  the  young.  But  labor 
she  ought  — all  she  is  able  — while  life  and  health 
lasts,  at  something  or  other;  or  she  ought  not  to 
complain  if  she  suffers  the  natural  penalty ; and  she 
ought  to  do  it  with  cheerfiilness. 

I like  much  the  quaint  remark  of  a good  old 
lady  of  ninety.  She  w^as  bred  to  labor,  had  labored' 
through  the  whole  of  her  long  and  eventful  life/ 
^id  w^as  still  at  her  ‘wheel.’  ‘Why,’  said  sh^/ 
25 


290  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Great  objects  of  life.  Effects  of  laziness. 

‘ people  ought  to  strain  every  nerve  to  get  property, 
as  a matter  of  Christian  duty.’ 

I should  choose  to  modify  this  old  lady’s  remark, 
and  say  that,  people  ought  to  do  all  they  can  without 
straining  their  muscles  or  neiDCs ; not  to  get  proper- 
ty, but  because  it  is  at  once,  their  duty  and  their 
happiness. 

The  great  object  of  life  is  to  do  good.  The  great 
object  of  society  is  to  increase  the  power  to  good. 
Both  sexes  should  aim,  in  matrimony,  at  a more  ex- 
tended sphere  of  usefulness.  To  increase  an  estate, 
merely,  is  a low  and  unworthy  aim,  from  which 
may  God  preserve  the  rising  generation.  Still  I 
must  say,  that  I greatly  prefer  the  avaricious  being 
— a monster  though  she  might  be  — to  the  stupid 
soul  who  would  not  lift  a finger  if  she  could  help  it, 
and  who  determines  to  fold  her  arms  whenever  she 
has  a convenient  opportunity. 

If  a female  be  lazy,  there  will  be  lazy  domestics, 
and,  what  is  a great  deal  worse,  children  will  ac- 
quire this  habit.  Every  thing,  how'ever  necessary 
to  be  done,  will  be  put  off  to  the  last  moment,  and 
then  it  will  be  done  badly,  and,  in  many  cases,  not 
at  all.  The  dinner  will  be  too  late ; the  journey  or 
the  visit  will  be  tardy ; inconveniences  of  all  sorts 
will  be  continually  arising.  There  will  always  be  a 
heavy  arrear  of  things  unperformed ; and  this,  even 
among  the  most  wealthy,  is  a great  evil;  for  if 
they  have  no  business  imposed  upon  them  by  ne- 
cessity, they  make  business  for  themselves.  Life 


INDUSTRY. 


201 

How  to  ascertain  character.  Anecdote.  Reflections. 

would  be  intolerable  without  il ; and  therefore  an 
indolent  woman  must  always  be  an  evil,  be  her 
rank  or  station  what  it  may. 

But,  who  is  to  tell  whether  a girl  will  make  an 
industrious  woman?  How  is  the  pur-blind  lover 
especially,  to  be  able  to  ascertain  whether  she, 
whose  smiles  and  dimples  and  bewitching  lips 
have  half  bereft  him  of  his  senses ; how  is  he  to 
be  able  to  judge,  from  any  thing  that  he  can  see, 
whether  the  beloved  object  will  be  industrious  or 
lazy  ? Why,  it  is  very  difficult ; it  is  a matter 
that  reason  has  very  little  to  do  with.  Still  there 
are  indications  which  enable  a man,  not  wholly 
deprived  of  the  use  of  his  reason,  to  form  a pretty 
accurate  judgment  in  this  matter. 

It  was  a famous  story  some  years  ago,  that  a 
young  man,  who  was  courting  one  of  three  sisters, 
happened  to  be  on  a visit  to  her,  when  all  the  three 
were  present,  and  when  one  said  to  the  others,  * I 
wonder  where  our  needle  is.’  Upon  which  he 
withdrew,  as  soon  as  was  consistent  with  the  rules 
of  politeness,  resolving  to  think  no  more  of  a girl 
who  possessed  a needle  only  in  partnership,  and 
who,  it  appeared,  was  not  too  well  informed  as  to 
the  place  where  even  that  share  was  deposited. 

This  was,  to  be  sure,  a very  flagrant  instance  of 
a want  of  industry;  for,  if  the  third  part  of  the 
use  of  a needle  satisfied  her,  when  single,  it  was 
reasonable  to  anticipate  that  marriage  would  ban- 
ish that  useful  implement  altogether.  But  such 


^92  THE  YOUNG  MAN  S GUIDE. 

Unfavorable  indications.  Temper  known  by  manner  of  eating. 

instances  are  seldom  suffered  to  come  in  contact 
with  the  eyes  and  ears  of  the  lover.  There  are, 
however,  as  I have  already  said,  certain  rules ^ 
which,  if  attended  to  with  care,  will  serve  as  pretty 
sure  guides. 

And,  first,  if  you  find  the  tongue  lazy,  you  may 
be  nearly  certain  that  the  hands  and  feet  are  not 
very  industrious.  By  laziness  of  the  tongue  I do 
not  mean  silence;  but,  I mean,  a slow  and  soft 
utterance ; a sort  of  sighing  out  of  the  words,  in- 
stead of  speaking  them ; a sort  of  letting  the  sounds 
fall  out,  as  if  the  party  were  sick  at  stomach.  The 
pronunciation  of  an  industrious  person  is  gener- 
ally quick^  and  distinct;  the  voice,  if  not  strong, 
firm  at  the  least.  Not  masculine,  but  as  feminine 
as  possible;  not  a croak  nor  a hawl^  but  a quick, 
distinct,  and  sound  voice. 

One  writer  insists  that  the  motion  of  those  little 
members  of  the  body,  the  teeth,  are  very  much  in 
harmony  with  the  operations  of  the  mind;  and 
a very  observing  gentleman  assures  me  that  he 
can  judge  pretty  accurately  of  the  temper,  and  in- 
deed of  the  general  character  of  a child,  by  his 
manner  of  eating.  And  I have  no  doubt  of  the 
fact.  Nothing  is  more  obvious  than  that  the  tem- 
per of  the  child  who  is  so  greedy  as  to  swallow 
down  his  food  habitually,  without  masticating  it, 
must  be  very  different  from  that  of  him  who  habit- 
ually eats  slowl}^  Hunger,  I know,  will  quicken 
ihe  jaws  in  either  case,  but  I am  supposing  them 
on  an  equal  footing  in  this  respect. 


EARLY  RISING, 


293 

Evils  of  late  rising. 


Various  marks  of  industry. 

Another  mark  of  industry  is,  a quick  step,  and  a 
somewhat  heavy  tread,  showing  that  the  foot  comes 
down  with  a hearty  good  will.  If  the  body  lean  a 
little  forward,  and  the  eyes  keep  steadily  in  the 
same  direction,  while  the  feet  are  going,  so  much 
the  better,  for  these  discover  earnestness  to  arrive 
at  the  intended  point.  I do  not  like,  and  I never 
liked,  your  sauntering,  soft-stepping  girls,  who 
move  as  if  they  were  perfectly  indifferent  as  to  the 
result.  And,  as  to  the  love  part  of  the  story,  who 
ever  expects  ardent  and  lasting  affection  from  one 
of  these  sauntering  girls,  will,  when  too  latej  find 
his  mistake.  The  character  is  much  the  same 
throughout ; and  probably  no  man  ever  yet  saw  a 
sauntering  girl,  who  did  not,  when  married,  make 
an  indifferent  wife,  and  a cold-hearted  mother; 
cared  very  little  for,  either  by  husband  or  children ; 
and,  of  course,  having  no  store  of  those  blessings 
which  are  the  natural  resources  to  apply  to  in  sick- 
ness and  in  old  age. 

8.  EARLY  RISING. 

Early  rising  is  another  mark  of  industry;  and 
though,  in  the  higher  stations  of  life,  it  may  be  of 
no  importance  in  a mere  pecuniary  point  of  view, 
it  is,  even  there,  of  importance  in  other  respects ; 
for  it  is  rather  difficult  to  keep  love  alive  towards 
a woman  who  never  sees  the  dew,  never  beholds 
the  rising  sun,  and  who  constantly  comes  directly 
from  a reeking  bed  to  the  breakfast  table,  and  ther^ 
25^ 


^4  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Force  of  habit.  Friendly  counsel.  Apology. 

chews,  without  appetite,  the  choicest  morsels  of 
human  food.  A man  might,  perhaps,  endure  this 
for  a month  or  two,  without  being  disgusted ; hut 
not  much  longer. 

As  to  people  in  the  middle  rank  of  life,  where  a 
living  and  a provision  for  children  is  to  be  sought 
by  labor  of  some  sort  or  other,  late  rising  in  the 
wife  is  certain  I'uin ; and  rarely  will  you  find  an 
early-rising  wife,  who  had  been  a late-rising  girl. 
If  brought  up  to  late  rising,  she  will  like  it ; it  will 
be  her  liabit ; she  will,  vrhen  married,  never  want 
excuses  for  indulging  in  the  habit.  At  first  she  will 
be  indulged  without  bounds ; and  to  make  a change 
afterwards  w^l  be  difficult,  for  it  wdll  be  deemed 
a wrong  done  to  her ; she  will  ascribe  it  to  dimin- 
ished affection.  A quarrel  must  ensue,  or,  the  hus- 
band must  submit  to  be  ruined,  or,  at  the  very 
least,  to  see  half  the  fruit  of  his  labor  snored  and 
lounged  away. 

And,  is  this  being  unreasonably  harsh ^ or  severe 
Vpon  woman  By  no  means.  It  arises  from  an 
ardent  desire  to  promote  the  happiness,  and  to  add 
to  the  natural,  legitimate,  and  salutary  influence 
of  the  female  sex.  The  tendency  of  this  advice  is 
to  promote  the  preserv’^ation  of  their  health ; to  pro- 
long the  duration  of  their  beauty;  to  cause  them 
to  be  loved  to  the  last  day  of  their  lives ; and  to 
give  them,  during  the  whole  of  those  lives,  that 
weight  and  consequence,  and  respect,  of  which 
laziness  would  render  them  wholly  unworthy. 


FRUGALITY.  295 

of  extravagance.  Its  results,  especially  to  the  lower  classes. 


9.  FRUGALITY. 

This  means  the  contrary  of  extravagance.  It 
does  not  mean  stinginess ; it  does  not  mean  pinch- 
ing ; but  it  rneans  an  abstaining  from  all  unneces- 
sary expenditure,  and  all  unnecessary  use  of  goods 
of  any  and  of  every  sort.  It  is  a quality  of  great 
importance,  whether  the  rank  in  life  be  high  or 
low. 

Some  people  are,  indeed,  so  rich,  they  have  such 
an  over-abundance  of  money  and  goods,  that  how 
to  get  rid  of  them  would,  to  a spectator,  seem  to 
be  their  only  difficulty.  How  many  individuals 
of  fine  estates,  have  been  ruined  and  degraded 
by  the  extravagance  of  their  wives!  More  fre- 
quently by  their  own  extravagance,  perhaps ; but, 
in  numerous  instances,  by  that  of  those  whose 
duty  it  is  to  assist  in  upholding  their  stations  by 
husbanding  their  fortunes. 

If  this  be  the  case  amongst  the  opulent,  who 
have  estates  to  draw  upon,  what  must  be  the  con- 
sequences of  a want  of  frugality  in  the  middle  and 
lower  ranks  of  life  ? Here  it  must  be  fatal,  and 
especially  among  that  description  of  persons  whose 
wives  have,  in  many  cases,  the  receiving  as  well 
as  the  expending  of  money.  In  such  a case,  there 
wants  nothing  but  extravagance  in  the  wife  to 
make  ruin  as  inevitable  as  the  arrival  of  old  age. 

To  obtain  security  against  this  is  very  difficult ; 
yet,  if  the  lover  be  not  quite  blind,  he  may  ea,sily 


296  THE  YOUNG  MAN  S GUIDE. 

Indications  of  extravagance.  Efforts  to  disguise  povert)’’. 

discover  a propensity  towards  extravagance.  The 
object  of  his  addresses  will,  nine  times  out  of  ten, 
never  be  the  manager  of  a house;  but  she  must 
have  her  dress,  and  other  little  matters  under  her 
control.  If  she  be  costly  in  these  ; if,  in  these,  she 
step  above  her  rank,  or  even  to  the  top  of  it ; if  she 
purchase  all  she  is  able  to  purchase,  and  prefer  the 
showy  to  the  useful,  the  gay  and  the  fragile  to  the 
less  sightly  and  more  durable,  he  may  be  sure  that 
the  disposition  will  cling  to  her  through  life.  If 
he  perceive  in  her  a taste  for  costly  food,  costly 
furniture,  costly  amusements ; if  he  find  her  love 
of  gratification  to  be  bounded  only  by  her  want  of 
means ; if  he  find  her  full  of  admiration  of  the 
trappings  of  the  rich,  and  of  desire  to  be  able  to 
imitate  them,  he  may  be  pretty  sure  that  she  will 
not  spare  his  purse,  when  once  she  gets  her  hand 
into  it ; and,  therefore,  if  he  can  bid  adieu  to  her 
charms,  the  sooner  he  does  it,  the  better. 

Some  of  the  indications  of  extravagance  in  a 
lady  are  ear-rings,  broaches,  bracelets,  buckles, 
necklaces,  diamonds,  (real  or  mock,)  and  nearly 
all  the  ornaments  which  women  put  upon  their 
persons. 

These  things  may  be  more  proper  in  palaces, 
or  in  scenes  resembling  palaces;  but,  when  the}^ 
make  their  appearance  amongst  people  in  the  mid- 
dle rank  of  life,  where,  after  all,  they  only  serve  to 
show  that  poverty  in  the  parties  which  they  wish 
to  disguise;  when  the  mean,  tawdry  things  inafe 


FRUGALITY. 


297 

Reason  and  broaches. 


One  form  of  self  destruction. 

their  appearance  in  this  rank  of  life,  the}^  are  the 
sure  indications  of  a disposition  that  will  always  be 
sti'aining  at  what  it  can  never  attain. 

To  marry  a girl  of  this  disposition  is  ideally  self- 
destruction.  You  never  can  have  either  property 
or  peace.  Earn  her  a horse  to  ride,  she  will  want 
a gig:  earn  the  gig,  she  will  want  a chariot:  get 
her  that,  she  will  long  for  a coach  and  four : and, 
from  stage  to  stage,  she  will  torment  you  to  the 
end  of  her  or  your  days;  for,  still  there  will  be 
somebody  with  a finer  equipage  than  you  can  give 
her ; and,  as  long  as  this  is  the  case,  you  will  never 
have  rest.  Reason  would  tell  her,  that  she  could 
never  be  at  the  top;  that  she  must  stop  at  some 
point  short  of  that ; and  that,  therefore,  all  expenses 
in  tlie  rivalship  are  so  much  thrown  away.  But, 
reason  and  broaches  and  bracelets  seldom  go  in 
company.  The  girl  who  has  not  the  sense  to  per- 
ceive that  her  person  is  disfigured  and  not  beauti- 
fied by  parcels  of  brass  and  tin,  or  even  gold  and 
silver,  as  well  to  regret,  if  she  dare  not  oppose  the 
tyranny  of  absurd  fashions,  is  not  entitled  to  a full 
measure  of  the  confidence  of  any  individual. 


298 


THE  YOUNG  MAN^S  GUIDE. 


Love  and  personal  neglect  incompatible.  A question  in  ethics. 

10.  PERSONAL  NEATNESS. 

There  never  yet  was,  and  there  never  will  be 
sincere  and  ardent  love,  of  long  duration,  where 
personal  neatness  is  w^holly  neglected.  I do  nor 
say  that  there  are  not  those  who  would  live  peace- 
ably and  even  contentedly  in  these  circumstances. 
But  what  I contend  for  is  this:  that  there  never 
can  exist,  for  any  length  of  time,  ardent  affection^  in 
any  man  towards  a woman  who  neglects  neatness, 
either  in  her  person,  or  in  her  house  affairs. 

Men  may  be  careless  as  to  their  own  person; 
they  may,  from  the  nature  of  their  business,  or 
from  their  want  of  time  to  adhere  to  neatness  in 
dress,  be  slovenly  in  their  own  dress  and  habits; 
but,  they  do  not  relish  this  in  their  wives,  who 
must  still  have  charms;  and  charms  and  neglect 
of  the  person  seldom  go  together.  I do  not,  of 
course,  approve  of  it  even  in  men. 

We  may,  indeed,  lay  it  down  as  a rule  of  al- 
most universal  application,  that  supposing  all  other 
things  to  be  equal,  he  who  is  most  guilty  of  personal 
neglect;  will  be  the  most  ignorant  and  the  most 
vicious.  Why  there  should  be,  universally,  a con- 
nection between  slovenliness,  ignorance,  and  vice, 
is  a question  I have  no  room  in  this  work  to  dis- 
cuss. 

I am  well  acquainted  with  one  whole  family 
who  neglect  their  persons  from  principle.  The 
gentleman,  who  is  a sort  of  new  light  in  religious 


PERSONAL  NEATNESS.- 


299 


An  anecdote.  Indications  of  neatness  in  person. 

concerns,  will  tell  you  that  the  true  Christian  should 
‘ slight  the  hovel,  as  beneath  his  care.’  But  there 
is  a want  of  intelligence,  and  even  common  re- 
finement in  the  family,  that  certainly  does  not  and 
cannot  add  much  to  their  own  happiness,  or  re- 
commend religion  — aside  from  the  fact  that  it 
greatly  annoys  their  neighbors.  And  though  the 
head  of  the  family  observes  many  external  duties 
with  Jewish  strictness,  neither  he  nor  any  of  its 
members  are  apt  to  bridle  their  tongues,  or  remem- 
ber that  on  ordinary  as  well  as  special  occasions  they 
are  bound  to  ‘ do  all  to  the  glory  of  God.’  As  to  the 
connection  of  mind  with  matter  — I mean  the  de- 
pendence of  mind  and  soul  on  body,  they  are 
wholly  ignorant. 

It  is  not  dress  that  the  husband  wants  to  be  per- 
petual : it  is  not  finery ; but  cleanliness  in  every 
tning.  Women  generally  dress  enough,  especial- 
ly when  they  go  abroad.  This  occasional  cleanli- 
ness is  not  the  thing  that  a husband  wants:  he 
wants  it  always  ; in-doors  as  well  as  out ; by  night 
as  well  as  by  day ; on  the  floor  as  well  as  on  the 
table ; and,  however  he  may  complain  about  the 
trouble  and  the  ‘ expense  ’ of  it,  he  would  complain 
more  if  it  were  neglected. 

The  indications  of  female  neatness  are,  first, 
a clean  sldn.  The  hands  and  face  will  usually  be 
clean,  to  be  sure,  if  there  be  soap  and  water  with- 
in reach;  but  if  on  observing  other  parts  of  the 
head  besides  the  face,  you  make  discoveries  indi- 


Si)0  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Neatness  in  dress.  Manner  of  putting  on  clothing. 

eating  a different  character,  the  sooner  you  cease 
your  visits  the  better.  I hope,  now,  tliat  no  young 
woman  who  may  chance  to  see  this  book,  will  be 
offended  at  this,  and  think  me  too  severe  on  her 
sex.  I am  only  telling  that  which  all  men  tliink ; 
and,  it  is  a decided  advantage  to  them  to  be  fully 
informed  of  our  thoughts  ort  the  subject.  If  any 
one,  who  reads  this,  shall  find,  upon  self-examina- 
tion, that  she  is  defective  in  this  respect,  let  her 
take  the  hint,  and  correct  the  defect. 

In  the  di'ess,  you  can,  amongst  rich  people,  find 
little  whereon  to  form  a judgment  as  to  cleanliness, 
because  they  have  not  only  the  dress  prepared  for 
them,  but  put  upon  them  into  the  bargain.  But,  in 
the  .middle  ranks  of  life,  the  dress  is  a good  criterion 
in  two  respects : first,  as  to  its  color ; for  if  the  white 
be  a sort  of  yellow,  cleanly  1 lands  would  have  been 
at  work  to  prevent  that.  A ivhite-yellow  cravat,  or 
shirt,  on  a man,  speaks  at  once  the  character  of  his 
wife ; and,  you  may  be  assured,  that  she  will  not 
take  with  your  dress  pains  which  she  has  never 
taken  with  her  own. 

Then,  the  manner  of  putting  ori  the  dress,  is  no 
bad  foundation  for  judging.  If  this  be  careless,  and 
slovenly,  if  it  do  not  fit  properly, — no  matter  for  its 
mean  quality ; mean  as  it  may  be,  it  may  be  neatly 
and  trimly  put  on  — if  it  be  slovenly  put  on,  I say, 
take  care  of  yourself;  for,  you  will  soon  find  to 
your  cost,  that  a sloven  in  one  thing,  is  a sloven  in 
all  things.  The  plainer  people,  judge  greatly  front 


Going  slipshod. 


A GOOD  TEMPER.  301 

Importance  of  a permanently  good  temper. 


the  state  of  the  covering  of  the  ankles ; and,  if  that 
be  not  clean  and  tight,  they  conclude  that  the  rest  is 
not  as  it  ought  to  be.  Look  at  the  shoes ! If  they 
be  trodden  on  one  side,  loose  on  the  foot,  or  run 
down  at  the  heel,  it  is  a very  bad  sign ; and  as  to 
going  slipshod,  though  at  coming  down  in  the 
morning,  and  even  before  daylight,  make  up  your 
mind  to  a rope,  rather  than  live  with  a slipshod 
woman. 

How  much  do  women  lose  by  inattention  to 
these  matters ! Men,  in  general,  say  nothing  about 
it  to  their  wives,  but  they  think  about  it;  they 
envy  their  more  lucky  neighbors,  and  in  numerous 
cases,  consequences  the  most  serious  arise  from 
this  apparently  trifling  cause.  Beauty  is  valuable ; 
it  is  one  of  the  ties,  and  a strong  one  too ; but  it 
cannot  last  to  old  age  ; whereas  the  charm  of  clean- 
liness never  ends  but  with  life  itself.  It  has  been 
said  that  the  sweetest  flowers,  when  they  really 
become  putrid,  are  the  most  offensive.  So  the 
most  beautiful  woman,  if  found  with  an  uncleansed 
skin,  is,  in  my  estimation,  the  most  disagreeable. 

11.  A GOOD  TEMPER. 

This  is  a very  difficult  thing  to  ascertain  before- 
hand. Smiles  are  cheap;  they  are  easily  put  on 
for  the  occasion ; and,  besides,  the  frowns  are,  ac- 
cording to  the  lover’s  whim,  interpreted  into  the 
Contrary.  By  ‘ good  temper,’  I do  not  mean  an  easy 
temper,  a serenity  which  nothing  disturbs ; for  that 
26 


302 


THE  YOUNG  MAn’s  GUIDE. 


Evils  of  sullenness.  Not  easily  cured.  Q.ueruIousnesf9. 

is  a mark  of  laziness.  Sullenness,  if  you  be  not 
too  blind  to  perceive  it,  is  a temper  to  be  avoided 
by  all  means.  A sullen  man  is  bad  enough  ; Avliat, 
then,  must  be  a sullen  woman,  and  that  woman  a 
tvife ; a constant  inmate,  a companion  day  and 
night!  Only  think  of  the  delight  of  setting  at  the 
same  table,  and  occupying  the  same  chamber,  for 
a week,  without  exchanging  a word  all  the  while ! 
Very  bad  to  be  scolding  for  such  a length  of  time ; 
but  this  is  far  better  than  ‘ the  sulks,^ 

But  if  you  have  your  eyes,  and  look  sharp,  you 
will  discover  symptoms  of  this,  if  it  unhappily 
exist.  She  will,  at  some  time  or  other,  show  it  to- 
wards some  one  or  other  of  the  family ; or,  per- 
haps, towards  yourself ; and  you  may  be  quite  sure 
that,  in  this  respect,  marriage  will  not  mend  her. 
Sullenness  arises  from  capricious  displeasure  not 
founded  in  reason.  The  party  takes  offence  un- 
justifiably; is  unable  to  frame  a complaint,  and 
therefore  expresses  displeasure  by  silence.  The 
remedy  for  it  is,  to  suffer  it  to  take  its  full  swing , 
but  it  is  better  not  to  have  the  disease  in  your 
house ; and  to  be  married  to  it,  is  little  short  of  mad- 
ness. 

Queridousness  is  a great  fault.  No  man,  and, 
especially,  no  looman,  likes  to  hear  a continual  plain- 
tiveness. That  she  complain,  and  roundly  complain^ 
of  your  want  of  punctuality,  of  your  coolness,  of 
your  neglect,  of  your  liking  the  company  of  others: 
these  are  all  very  well,  more  especially  as  they  are 


INCONSTANCY  AND  SEDUCTION. 


311 


Ca*«  of  deception.  Worst  of  injuries.  An  example 

quently  greatly  mischievous,  notwithstanding.  You 
'do  not,  indeed,  actually,  in  so  many  words,  promise 
to  many ; but  the  general  tenor  of  your  language 
ana  deportment  has  that  meaning ; you  know  that 
your  meaning  is  so  understood ; and  if  you  have 
not  such  meaning ; if  you  be  fixed  by  some  previous 
engagement  with,  or  greater  liking  for  another ; if 
you  know  you  are  here  sowing  the  seeds  of  dis- 
appointment; and  if  you  persevere,  in  spite  of 
the  admonitions  of  conscience,  you  are  guilty  of 
deliberate  deception,  injustice  and  cruelty  You 
make  to  God  an  ungrateful  return  for  those  en- 
dowments which  have  enabled  you  to  achieve  this 
inglorious  and  unmanly  triumph ; and  if,  as  is  fre- 
quently the  case,  you  glory  in  such  triumph,  you 
may  have  person,  riches,  talents  to  excite  envy; 
but  every  just  and  humane  man  will  abhor  your 
heart. 

The  most  direct  injury  against  the  spiritual  na- 
ture of  a fellow  being  is,  by  leading  him  into  vice. 
I have  heard  one  young  man,  who  was  entrusted 
six  days  in  the  week  to  form  the  immortal  minds 
and  hearts  of  a score  or  two  of  his  fellow  beings, 
deliberately  boast  of  the  number  of  the  other  sex  he 
had  misled.  What  can  be  more  base  ? And  must 
not  a terrible  retribution  await  such  Heaven  daring 
miscreants  ? Whether  they  accomplish  their  pur- 
poses by  solicitation,  by  imposing  on  the  judgment, 
or  by  powerful  compulsion,  the  wrong  is  the  same, 
or  at  least  of  the  same  nature;  and  nothing  but 


THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Extract  from  Burgh,  There  are  such  monsters  as  he  describes'. 

timely  and  hearty  repentance  can  save  a wretch  of 
this  description  from  punishment,  either  here  or 
hereafter. 

‘ Some  tempers,’  says  Burgh,  (for  nothing  can  be 
more  in  point  than  his  own  words)  ‘are  so  impo- 
tently  ductile,  that  they  can  refuse  nothing  to  re- 
peated solicitation.  Whoever  takes  the  advantage 
of  such  persons  is  guilty  of  the  lowest  baseness. 
Yet  nothing  is  more  common  than  for  the  debauch- 
ed part  of  our  sex  to  show  their  heroism  by  a poor 
triumph,  over  weak,  easy,  thoughtless  woman ! — 
Nothing  is  more  frequent  than  to  hear  them  boast 
of  the  ruin  of  that  virtue,  of  which  they  ought  to 
have  been  the  defenders.  “Poor  fool!  she  loved 
me,  and  therefore  could  refuse  me  nothing.” — Base 
coward!  Dost  thou  boast  of  thy  conquest  ovei 
one,  who,  by  thy  own  confession,  was  disabled 
for  resistance, — disabled  by  her  affection  for  thy 
worthless  self ! Does  affection  deserve  such  a re-^ 
turn  ? Is  superior  understanding,  or  rather  deeper 
craft,  to  be  used  agamst  thoughtless  simplicity,  and 
its  shameful  success  to  be  boasted  of?  Dost  thou 
pride  thyself  that  thou  hast  had  art  enough  to  de- 
coy the  harmless  lamb  to  thy  hand,  that  thou  might- 
est  shed  its  blood  ? ’ 

And  yet  there  are  such  monsters  as  Burgh 
alludes  to.  There  are  just  such  beings  scattered 
up  and  down  even  the  fairest  portions  of  the  world 
we  live  in,  to  mar  its  beauty.  We  may  hope,  for 
^he  honor  of  human  nature,  they  are  few.  He  wlio 


INCONSTANCY  AND  SEDUCTION.  313 

We  may  hope  they  are  few.  Appeal  to  the  seducer. 

can  bring  himself  to  believe  their  number  to  be  as 
great  as  one  in  a thousand,  may  well  be  disposed 
to  blush 

‘ And  hang  his  head,  to  own  himself  a man.’ 

I have  sometimes  wished  these  beings  — men 
they  are  not  — would  r^ect,  if  it  were  but  for  one 
short  moment.  They  will  not  deny  the  excellency 
of  the  golden  rule,  of  doing  to  others  as  they  wish 
others  to  do  by  themselves.  I say  they  will  not 
deny  it,  in  theory ; why  then  should  they  despise  it 
in  practice  ? 

Let  them  think  a moment.  Let  them  imagine 
themselves  in  the  place  of  the  injured  party.  Could 
this  point  be  gained ; could  they  be  mduced  to  re  - 
flect long  enough  to  see  the  enormity  of  their  guilt 
as  it  really  is,  or  as  the  Father  in  heaven  may  be 
supposed  to  see  it,  there  might  be  hope  in  their 
case.  Or  if  they  find  it  difficult  to  view  themselves 
as  the  injured,  let  them  suppose,  rather,  a sister  or  a 
daughter.  What  seducer  is  so  lost  to  all  natural 
affection  as  not  to  have  his  whole  soul  revolt  at 
the  hare  thought  of  having  a beloved  daughter 
experience  the  treatment  which  he  has  inflicted? 
Yet  the  being  whom  he  has  ruined  had  brothers  or 
parents ; and  those  brothers  had  a sister ; and  those 
} parents  a daughter ! 


27 


314  THE  YOUNG  MAn’s  GUIDE. 

Extremes  of  social  life.  Cities  the  worst  extreWd'. 


Section  IL  Licentiousness. 

I wish  it  were  in  my  power  to  finish  my  re- 
marks in  this  place,  without  feeling  that  I had  made 
an  important  omission.  But  such  is  the  tendency 
of  human  nature,  especially  in  the  case  of  tho 
young  and  ardent,  to  turn  the  most  valuable  bless- 
ings conferred  on  man  into  curses,  — and  poison,  at 
their  very  sources,  the  purest  streams  of  human 
felicity, — that  it  wdll  be  necessary  to  advert  briefiy 
but  plainly  to  some  of  the  most  frequent  forms  of 
youthful  irregularity. 

Large  cities  and  thinly  settled  places  are  the  ex- 
tremes of  social  life.  Here,  of  course,  vice  will  be 
found  in  its  worst  forms.  It  is  more  difficult  to 
say  which  extreme  is  worst,  among  an  equal  num^ 
her  of  individuals ; but  probably  the  city  ; for  in 
the  country,  vice  is  oftener  solitary,  and  less  fre- 
quently social ; while  in  the  city  it  is  not  only  social 
but  also  solitary. 

A well  informed  gentleman  from  New  Orleans^ 
of  whose  own  virtue  by  the  way,  I have  not  the 
highest  confidence,  expressed,  lately  the  strongest 
apprehension  that  the  whole  race  of  young  men 
in  our  cities,  of  the  present  generation,  will  be 
rumed.  Others  have  assured  me  that  in  the  more 
northern  cities,  the  prospect  is  little,  if  any,  more 
favorable. 

It  is  to  be  regretted  that  legislators  have  not 


LICENTIOUSNESS. 


315 

Not  alone. 


Preventive  measures.  A wretched  being. 

found  out  the  means  of  abolishing  those  haunts  in 
cities  which  might  be  appropriately  tenned  schools 
of  licentiousness,  and  thus  diminishing  an  aggre- 
gate of  temptation  already  sufficiently  large.  But 
the  vices,  like  their  votaries,  go  in  companies. 
Until,  therefore,  the  various  haunts  of  intempe- 
rance in  eating  and  drinking,  and  of  gambling  and 
stage-playing,  can  be  broken  up,  it  may  be  con- 
sidered vain  to  hope  for  the  disappearance  of  those 
sties  of  pollution  which  are  their  almost  mevitable 
results.  We  might  as  well  think  of  drying  up  the 
channel  of  a mighty  river,  while  the  fountains 
which  feed  it  continue  to  flow  as  usual. 

There  is  now  in  Pennsylvania,  — it  seems  un- 
necessary to  name  the  place  — a man  thirty-five 
years  old,  with  all  the  infirmities  of  ^ three  score 
and  ten.’  Yet  his  premature  old  age,  his  bending 
and  tottering  form,  wrinkled  face,  and  hoary  head, 
might  be  traced  to  solitary  and  social  licentiousness. 

This  man  is  not  alone.  There  are  thousands  in 
every  city  who  are  going  the  same  road  ; some 
with  slow  and  cautious  steps,  others  with  a fearful 
rapidity.  Thousands  of  youth  on  whom  high  ex- 
pectations have  been  placed,  are  already  on  the 
highway  that  will  probably  lead  down  to  disease 
and  premature  death. 

Could  the  multitude  of  once  active,  sprightly, 
and  promising  young  men,  whose  souls  detested 
open  vice,  and  who,  without  dreaming  of  danger, 
only  found  their  way  occasionally  to  a lottery  office, 


316 


THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE 


A dismal  picture.  How  the  reality  would  strike  us. 

and  still  more  rarely  to  the  theatre  or  the  gambling 
house,  until  led  on  step  by  step  they  ventured 
down  those  avenues  which  lead  to  the  chambers 
of  death,  from  which  few  ever  return,  and  none 
uninjured;  — could  the  multitudes  of  such  beings, 
which  in  the  United  States  alone,  (though  admit- 
ted to  be  the  paradise  of  the  world,)  have  gone 
down  to  infamy  through  licentiousness,  be  present- 
ed to  our  view,'  at  once,  how  would  it  strike  us 
with  horror ! Their  very  numbers  would  astonish 
us,  but  how  much  more  their  appearance ! I am 
supposing  them  to  appear  as  they  went  to  the 
graves,  in  their  bloated  and  disfigured  faces,  their 
emaciated  and  tottering  frames,  bending  at  thirty 
years  of  age  under  the  appearance  of  three  or  four 
score  ; diseased  externally  and  internally ; and  pos- 
itively disgusting,  — not  only  to  the  eye,  but  to 
some  of  the  other  senses. 

One  such  monster  is  enough  to  fill  the  soul  ot 
those  who  are  but  moderately  virtuous  with  horror ; 
what  then  would  be  the  effect  of  beholding  thou- 
sands ? In  view  of  such  a scene,  is  there  a young 
man  in  the  world,  who  would  not  form  the  strong- 
est resolution  not  to  enter  upon  a road  which  ends 
in  wo  so  remediless  ? 

But  it  should  be  remembered  that  these  thou- 
sands were  once  the  friends  — the  children,  the 
brothers,  — yes,  sometimes  the  nearer  relatives  of 
other  thousands.  They  had  parents,  sisters,  broth- 
ers ; sometimes  (would  it  were  not  true)  wives  and 


LICENTIOUSNESS.  317 

Not  a mere  fancy  sketch,  after  all.  The  common  apology. 

infants.  Suppose  the  young  man  whom  temptation 
solicits,  were  not  only  to  behold  the  wretched 
thousands  already  mentioned,  but  the  many  more 
thousands  of  dear  relatives  mourning  their  loss ; — 
not  by  death,  for  that  were  tolerable  — but  by  an 
everlasting  destruction  from  the  presence  of  all 
purity  or  excellence.  Would  he  not  shrink  back 
from  the  door  which  he  was  about  to  enter,  asham- 
ed and  aghast,  and  resolve  in  the  strength  of  his 
Creator,  never  more  to  indulge  a thought  of  a 
crime  so  disastrous  in  its  consequences  ? 

And  let  every  one  remember  that  the  army  of 
ruined  immortals  which  have  been  here  presented 
to  the  imagination,  is  by  no  means  a mere  fancy 
sketch.  There  is  a day  to  come  which  will  dis- 
close a scene  of  which  I have  given  but  a faint 
picture.  F or  though  the  thousands  who  have  thus 
destroyed  their  own  bodies  and  souls,  with  then* 
agonized  friends  and  relatives,  are  scattered  among 
several  millions  of  their  fellow  citizens,  and,  for  a 
time,  not  a few  of  them  elude  the  public  gaze,  yet 
their  existence  is  as  much  a reality,  as  if  they  were 
assembled  in  one  place. 

‘All  this,’  it  may  be  said,  ‘I  have  often  heard, 
and  it  may  be  true.  But  it  does  not  apply  to  me. 
I am  in  no  danger.  You  speak  of  a path,  I have 
never  entered;  or  if  1 have  ever  done  so,  I have 
no  idea  of  returning  to  it,  habitually.  I know  my 
own  strength  ; how  far  to  go,  and  when  and  where 
to  stop .’ 


818  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Danger  of  the  first  step.  Preaching.  Anecdote  of  C.  S. 

But  is  there  one  of  all  the  miserable,  in  the 
future  world,  who  did  not  once  think  the  same? 
Is  there  one  among  the  thousands  who  have  thus 
ruined  themselves  and  those  who  had  been  as  dear 
to  them  as  themselves,  that  did  not  once  feel  a proud 
consciousness  that  he  ‘knew  his  own  strength?’ 
Yet  now  where  is  he  ? 

Beware,  then.  Take  not  the  first  step.  Nay,  in- 
dulge not  for  an  instant,  the  thought  of  a first  step. 
Here  you  are  safe.  Every  where  else  is  danger. 
Take  one  step,  and  the  next  is  more  easy ; the 
temptation  harder  to  resist. 

Do  you  call  this  preaching  ? Be  it  so  then.  I 
feel,  and  deeply  too,  that  your  immortal  minds, 
those  gems  which  were  created  to  sparkle  and 
shine  in  the  firmament  of  heaven,  are  in  danger  of 
having  their  lustre  for  ever  tarnished,  and  their 
brightness  everlastingly  hid  beneath  a thicker  dark- 
ness than  that  which  once  covered  the  land  of 
Egypt. 

C.  S.  was  educated  by  New  England  parents,  in 
one  of  the  most  flourishing  of  New  England  vil- 
lages. He  was  all  that  anxious  friends  could  hope 
or  desire ; all  that  a happy  community  could  love 
and  esteem.  As  he  rose  to  manhood  he  evinced 
a full  share  of  ‘Yankee’  activity  and  enterprise. 
Some  of  the  youth  in  the  neighborhood  were 
traders  to  the  southern  States,  and  C.  concluded 
to  try  his  fortune  among  the  rest. 

He  was  furnished  with  two  excellent  horses  and 


LICENTIOUSNESS. 


319 

Story  of  C.  S.  continued.  His  downfal.  His  change. 

a wagon,  and  every  thing  necessary  to  ensure  suc- 
cess. His  dieatre  of  action  was  the  low  country  of 
Virginia  and  North  Carolina,  and  his  head- quarters, 
N , whither  he  used  to  return  after  an  excur- 

sion of  a month  or  six  week,  to  spend  a few  days 
in  tliat  dissipated  village. 

Young  C.  gradually  yielded  tjo  the  temptations 
which  the  place  afforded.  First,  he  engaged  in  oc- 
casional ‘drinking  bouts,’  next  in  gaming;  lastly, 
he  frequented  a house  of  ill  fame.  This  was  about 
the  year  1819. 

At  the  end  of  the  year  1820, 1 saw  him,  but  — 
now  changed!  The  eye  that  once  beamed  witk 
health,  and  vigor,  and  cheerfulness,  was  now  dim- 
med and  flattened.  The  countenance  which  once 
shone  with  love  and  good-will  to  man,  was  pale 
and  suspicious,  or  occasionally  suffused  with  stag- 
nant, and  sickly,  and  crimson  streams.  The  teetli, 
wliich  were  once  as  white  as  ivory,  were  now 
blackened  by  the  use  of  poisonous  medicine,  given 
to  counteract  a still  more  poisonous  and  loathsome 
disease.  The  frame,  which  had  once  been  as  erect 
as  the  stately  cedar  of  Lebanon,  was,  at  the  early 
age  of  thirty,  beginning  to  bend  as  with  years.  The 
voice,  which  once  spoke  forth  the  sentiments  of  a 
soul  of  comparative  purity,  now  not  unfrequently 
gave  vent  to  the  licentious  song,  the  impure  jest, 
and  the  most  shocking  oaths,  and  heaven-daring 
impiety  and  blasphemy.  The  hands  which  were 
once  like  the  spirit  within,  were  now  not  unfre- 


320  THE  rOUNG  man’s  guide 

Story  of  C.  S.  concluded.  His  prospect.  Gloomy  reflections. 

quently  joined  in  the  dance,  with  the  vilest  of  the 
vile ! 

I looked,  too,  at  his  external  circumstances 
Once  he  had  friends  whom  he  loved  to  see,  and 
from  whom  he  was  glad  to  hear.  Now  it  was  a 
matter  of  indifference  both  to  him  and  them  wheth- 
er they  ever  saw  each  other.  The  hopes  of  parents, 
and  especially  of  ‘ her  that  bare  him  ’ were  laid  in 
the  dust;  and  to  the  neighborhood  of  which  he 
had  once  been  the  pride  and  the  ornament,  he  was 
fast  becoming  as  if  he  had  never  been. 

He  had  travelled  first  with  two  horses,  next  with 
one;  afterward  on  foot  with  a choice  assortment 
of  jewelry  and  other  pedlar’s  wares;  now  his  as- 
sortment was  reduced  to  a mere  handful.  He 
could  purchase  to  the  value  of  a few  dollars,  take 
a short  excursion,  earn  a small  sum,  and  return  — ^ 
not  to  a respectable  house,  as  once,  — but  to  the 
lowest  of  resorts,  to  expend  it. 

Here,  in  1821,  I last  saw  him ; a fair  candidate 
for  the  worst  contagipus  diseases  which  occasion- 
ally infest  that  region,  and  a pretty  sure  victim  to 
the  first  severe  attack.  Or  if  he  should  even  es- 
cape these,  with  the  certainty  before  him  of  a very 
short  existence,  at  best. 

This  is  substantially  the  history  of  many  a young 
man  whose  soul  was  once  as  spotless  as  that  of  C. 
S.  Would  that  young  men  knew  their  strength, 
and  their  dignity ; and  would  put  forth  but  half  the 
energy  that  God  has  given  them.  Then  they 


LICENTIOUSNESS.  321 

Warning  to  the  young.  Substitutes  for  dissipation  proposed. 

would  never  approach  the  confines  of  those  regions 
of  dissipation,  for  when  they  have  once  entered 
them,  the  soul  and  the  body  are  often  ruined  forever. 

There  are  in  every  city  hundreds  of  young  men 
— • I r©gret  to  say  it,  — who  should  heed  this  warn- 
ing voice.  JVow  they  are  happily  situated,  beloved, 
respected.  They  are  engaged  in  useful  and  re- 
spectable avocations,  and  looking  forward  to  bright- 
er and  better  scenes.  Let  them  beware  lest  there 
should  be  causes  in  operation,  calculated  to  sap 
the  foundations  of  the  castle  which  fancy’s  eye  has 
builded,  (and  which  might  even  be  realized) ; and 
lest  their  morning  sun,  which  is  now  going  forth  in 
splendor,  be  not  shrouded  in  darkness  ere  it  has  yet 
attained  its  meridian  height. 

Every  city  affords  places  and  means  of  amuse- 
ment, at  once  rational,  satisfying,  and  improving. 
Such  are  collections  of  curiosities,  natural  and  arti- 
ficial, lectures  on  science,  debating  clubs,  lyceums, 
&c.  Then  the  libraries  which  abound,  afford  a 
source  of  never  ending  amusement  and  instruction. 
Let  these  suffice.  At  least,  ‘touch  not,  handle  not’ 
that  which  an  accumulated  and  often  sorrowful  ex- 
perience has  shown  to  be  accursed. 

Neither  resort  to  solitary  vice.  If  this  practice 
should  not  injure  your  system  immediately,  it  will 
in  the  end.  I am  sorry  to  be  obliged  to  advert  to 
this  subject;  but  I know  there  is  occasion.  Youth, 
especially  those  who  lead  a confined  life,  seek  oc- 
casional excitement.  Such  sometimes  resort  to 


322  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

A destructive  habit.  How  it  debases.  Common  mistake. 

this  lowest,  — I may  say  most  destructive  of  prac- 
tices. Such  is  the  constitution  of  things,  as  the 
Author  of  Nature  has  established  it,  that  if  every 
other  vicious  act  were  to  escape  its  merited  punish- 
ment in  this  world,  the  one  in  question  could  not. 
Whatever  its  votaries  may  think,  it  never  fails,  in 
a single  instance,  to  injure  them,  personally ; and 
consequently  their  posterity,  should  any  succeed 
them. 

It  is  not  indeed  true  that  the  foregoing  vices  do 
of  themselves,  produce  all  this  mischief  directly; 
but  as  Dr.  Paley  has  well  said,  criminal  intercourse 
‘corrupts  and  depraves  the  mind  more  than  any 
single  vice  whatsoever.’  It  gradually  benumbs  the 
conscience,  and  leads  on,  step  by  step,  to  those 
blacker  vices  at  which  the  youth  would  once  have 
shuddered. 

But  debasing  as  this  vice  is,  it  is  scarcely  more 
so  than  solitary  gratification.  The  fbrmer  is  not 
always  at  hand ; is  attended,  it  may  be,  with  ex- 
pense ; and  with  more  or  less  danger  of  exposure. 
But  the  latter  is  practicable  whenever  temptation 
or  rather  imagination  solicits,  and  appears  to  the 
morbid  eye  of  sense,  to  be  attended  with  no  haz- 
ard. Alas ! what  a sad  mistake  is  made  here ! It 
is  a fact  well  established  by  medical  men,  that 
every  error  on  this  point  is  injurious ; and  that  the 
eonstitution  is  often  more  surely  or  more  effect- 
ually impaired  by  causes  which  do  not  appear 
to  injure  it  in  the  least,  than  by  occasional  and 


LiCENTtOliSNESS.  323 

A set  of  wretches-.  Particular  directionsr 


heavief  shocks,  which  rouse  it  to  a reaction.  The 
one  case  may  be  compared  to  daily  tippling^  the 
other  to  those  periodical  drunken  frolics,  which, 
having  an  interval  of  weeks  or  months  between 
them,  give  the  system  time  to  recover,  in  part, 
(but  in  part  only)  from  the  violence  it  had  sus- 
tained. 

I wish  to  put  the  younger  portion  of  my  readers 
upon  their  guard  against  a set  of  wretches  who 
take  pains  to  initiate  youth,  while  yet  almost  chih 
dren,  into  the  practice  of  the  vice  to  which  I have 
here  adverted.  Domestics  — where  the  young  are 
too  familiar  with  them  — have  been  known  to  be 
thus  ungrateful  to  their  employers.  There  are, 
however,  people  of  several  classes,  who  do  not 
hesitate  to  mislead,  in  this  manner. 

But  the  misfortune  is,  that  this  book  will  not  be 
apt  to  fall  into  the  hands  of  those  to  whom  these 
remarks  apply,  till  the  ruinous  habit  is  already 
formed.  And  then  it  is  that  counsel  sometimes 
comes  too  late.  Should  these  pages  meet  the  eye 
of  any  who  have  been  misled,  let  them  remember 
that  they  have  begun  a career  which  multitudes 
repent  bitterly;  and  from  which  few  are  apt  to 
return.  But  there  have  been  instances  of  reform ; 
therefore  none  ought  to  despair.  ‘ What  man  has 
^done,  man  may  do.’ 

They  should  first  set  before  their  minds  the  na- 
ture of  the  practice,  and  the  evils  to  which  it  ex- 
poses. But  here  comes  the  difficulty.  What  are  its 


324 


THE  YOUNG  MAN  S GUIDE. 


The  point  argued.  The  error  exposed.  Appeal. 

legitimate  evils  ? They  know  indeed  that  the 
written  laws  of  God  condemn  it ; but  the  punish- 
ment which  those  laws  threaten,  appears  to  be  re- 
mote and  uncertain.  Or  if  not,  they  are  apt  to  re- 
gard it  as  the  punishment  of  excess,  merely.  They, 
prudent  souls,  would  not,  for  the  world,  plunge 
into  excess.  Besides,  Hhey  injure  none  but  them- 
selves^^ they  tell  us. 

Would  it  were  true  that  they  injured  none  but 
themselves!  Would  there  were  no  generations  yet 
unborn  to  suffer  by  inheriting  feeble  constitutions, 
or  actual  disease,  from  their  progenitors ! 

Suppose,  however,  they  really  injured  nobody 
but  themselves.  Have  they  a right  to  do  even  this  ? 
They  will  not  maintain,  for  one  moment,  that  they 
have  a right  to  take  away  their  own  life.  By  what 
right,  then,  do  they  allow  themselves  to  shorten  it, 
or  diminish  its  happiness  while  it  lasts 

Here  the  question  recurs  again:  Does  solitary 
gratification  actually  shorten  life,  or  diminish  its 
happiness  ? 

The  very  fact  that  the  laws  of  God  forbid  it,  is 
an  affirmative  answer  to  this  question.  For  noth- 
ing is  more  obvious  than  that  all  other  vices  which 
that  law  condemns,  stand  in  the  way  of  our  present 
happmess,  as  well  as  the  happiness  of  futurity.  Is 
this  alone  an  exception  to  the  general  rule  ? 

But  I need  not  make  my  appeal  to  this  kind  of 
authority.  You  rely  on  human  testimony.  You 
believe  a thousand  things  which  yourselves  never 


LICENTIOUSNESS.  325 

Medical  testimony.  Flea  of  the  sensualist.  The  reply. 

saw  or  heard.  Why  do  you  believe  them,  except 
upon  testimony  — I mean  given  either  verbally,  or, 
what  is  the  same  thing,  in  books  ? 

Now  if  the  accumulated  testimony  of  medical 
writers  from  the  days  of  Galen,  and  Celsus,  and 
Hippocrates,  to  the  present  hour,  could  have  any 
weight  with  you,  it  would  settle  the  point  at  once. 
I have  collected,  briefly,  the  results  of  medical  tes- 
timony on  this  subject,  in  the  next  chapter;  but  if 
you  will  take  my  statements  for  the  present,  I vvill 
assure  you  that  1 have  before  me  documents  enough 
to  fill  half  a volume  like  this,  from  those  who  have 
studied  deeply  these  subjects,  whose  united  lan- 
guage is,  that  the  practice  in  question,  indulged  in 
any  degree^  is  destructive  to  body  and  mind;  and 
that  although,  in  vigorous  young  men,  no  striking 
evil  may  for  some  tinie  appear,  yet  the  punishment 
can  no  more  be  evaded,  except  by  early  death,  than 
the  motion  of  the  earth  can  be  hindered.  And  all 
this,  too,  without  taking  into  consideration  the  ter- 
rors of  a judgment  to  come. 

But  why,  then,  some  may  ask,  are  animal  pro- 
pensities given  us,  if  they  are  not  to  be  indulged  ? 
The  appropriate  reply  is,  they  are  to  be  indulged ; 
but  it  is  only  in  accordance  with  the  laws  of  God ; 
never  otherwise.  And  the  wisdom  of  these  laws, 
did  they  not  rest  on  other  and  better  proof,  is 
amply  confirmed  by  that  great  body  of  medical  ex- 
perience already  mentioned.  God  has  delegated 
to  man,  a sort  of  suhcreative  power  to  perpetuate 

m 


320  THE  YOUNG  MAn’s  GUIDE. 

The  case  plainly  stated.  Objection.  Further  explanatiotf. 

his  own  race.  Such  a wonderful  work  required 
a wonderful  apparatus.  And  such  is  furnished. 
The  texture  of  the  organs  for  this  purpose  is  of  the 
most  tender  and  delicate  kind,  scarcely  equalled  by 
that  of  the  eye,  and  quite  as  readily  injured;  and 
this  fact  ought  to  be  known,  and  considered.  But 
instead  of  leaving  to  human  choice  or  caprice  the 
execution  of  the  power  thus  delegated,  the  great 
Creator  has  made  it  a matter  of  duty ; and  has  con- 
nected with  the  lawful  discharge  of  that  duty,  as 
with  all  others,  enjoyment  But  when  this  enjoy- 
ment is  sought  in  any  wa}^  not  in  accordance  with 
the  laws  prescribed  by  reason  and  revelation,  we 
diminish  (whatever  giddy  youth  may  suppose,)  the 
sum  total  of  our  own  happiness.  Now  this  is  not 
the  cold  speculation  of  age,  or  monkish  austerity. 
It  is  sober  matter  of  fact. 

It  is  said  that  young  men  are  sometimes  in  cir- 
cumstances which  forbid  their  conforming  to  these 
laws,  were  they  disposed  to  do  so. 

Not  so  often  however,  as  is  commonly  supposed. 
Marriage  is  not  such  a mountain  of  difficulty  as 
many  imagine.  This  I have  already  attempted  to 
show.  One  circumstance  to  be  considered,  in  con- 
nection with  this  subject,  is,  that  in  any  society,  the 
more  there  is  of  criminal  indulgence,  whether 
secret  or  social,  the  more  strongly  are  excuses  for 
neglecting  matrimony  urged.  Every  step  which 
a young  man  takes  in  forbidden  paths,  affords  him 
a plea  in  behalf  of  the  next.  The  farther  he 


l.iCENTIOUSNESS.  327 

Late  marriages.  A question  of  health.  Celibacy  considered. 

goes,  the  less  the  probability  of  his  returning  to 
the  ways  of  purity,  or  entering  those  of  domestic 
felicity. 

People  in  such  places  as  London  and  Paris,  mar- 
ry much  later  in  life,  upon  the  average,  than  in 
country  places.  And  is  not  the  cause  obvious? 
And  is  not  the  same  cause  beginning  to  produce 
similar  effects  in  our  own  American  cities  ? 

But  suppose  celibacy  in  some  cases,  to  he  un- 
avoidable, can  a life  of  continence,  in  the  fullest 
sense  of  the  term,  be  favorable  to  health'?  This 
question  is  answered  by  those  to  whose  writings  1 
have  already  referred,  in  the  affirmative.  But  it  is 
also  answered  by  facts,  though  from  the  nature  of 
the  case  these  facts  are  not  always  easy  of  access. 
We  have  good  reason  to  believe  that  Sir  Isaac 
Newton  and  Dr.  Fothergill,  never  for  once  in  their 
lives  deviated  from  the  strict  laws  of  rectitude  on 
this  point.  And  we  have  no  evidence  that  they 
were  sufferers  for  their  rigid  course  of  virtue.  The 
former  certainly  enjoyed  a measure  of  health  and 
reached  an  age,  to  which  few,  in  any  circumstan- 
ces, attain ; and  the  latter  led  an  active  and  useful 
life  to  nearly  three-score  and  ten.  There  are  living 
examples  of  the  same  purity  of  character,  but  they 
cannot,  of  course,  be  mentioned  in  this  work. 

Several  erroneous  view^s  in  regard  to  the  animal 
economy  which  have  led  to  the  very  general  opin- 
ion that  a life  of  celibacy  — strictly  so,  I mean  — 
cannot  be  a life  of  health,  might  here  be  exposed, 


2^  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

A wish.  Study  of  the  human  constitution.  Word  to  parents. 


did  either  the  limits  or  the  nature  of  the  work  per- 
mit. It  is  not  that  a state  of  celibacy  — entirely  so, 
I always  mean — is  positively  injurious;  but  that 
a state  of  matrimony  is  more  useful;  and,  as  a gene- 
ral rule,  attended  with  more  happiness. 

It  is  most  ardently  to  be  hoped,  that  the  day  is 
not  far  distant  when  every  young  man  will  study 
the  laws  and  functions  of  the  human  frame  for  him- 
self, This  would  do  more  towards  promoting  in- 
dividual purity  and  public  happiness,  than  all  the 
reasoning  in  the  world  can  accomplish  without  it. 
Men,  old  or  young,  must  see  for  themselves  how 
‘fearfully’  as  well  as  ‘wonderfully’  they  are  made, 
before  they  can  have  a thorough  and  abiding  con- 
viction of  the  nature  of  disohediencey  or  of  the 
penalties  that  attend,  as  well  as  follow  it.  And  in 
proportion,  as  the  subject  is  studied  and  under- 
stood, may  we  not  hope  celibacy  will  become  less 
frequent,  and  marriage  — honorable,  and,  if  you 
please,  eaiiy  marriage  — be  more  highly  estimated  ? 

This  work  is  not  addressed  to  parents ; but 
should  it  be  read  by  any  who  have  sons,  at  an  age, 
and  in  circumstances,  which  expose  them  to  tempt- 
ation, and  in  a way  which  will  be  very  apt  to  se- 
cure their  fall,  let  them  beware."^ 

Parents  who  inform  their  children  on  this  subject, 
generally  begin  too  late.  Familiar  conversational  explana- 
tion, begun  as  soon  as  there  is  reason  to  apprehend  danger, 
and  judiciously  pursued,  is  perhaps  the  most  successful 
method  of  preventing  evil 


LICENTIOUSNESS.  329 

We  are  arbiters  of  our  own  fate.  Errors  in  education. 

Still,  the  matter  must  be  finally  decided  by  the 
young  themselves.  They,  in  short,  must  determine 
the  question  vrhether  they  will  rise  in  the  scale  of 
being,  through  every  period  of  their  existence,  or 
sink  lower  and  lower  in  the  depths  of  degradation 
and  wo.  They  must  be,  after  all,  the  arbiters  of 
their  own  fate.  No  influences,  human  or  divine, 
will  ever/orce  them  to  happiness. 

The  remainder  of  this  section  will  be  devoted 
to  remarks  on  the  causes  which  operate  to  form 
licentious  feelings  and  habits  in  the  young.  My 
limits,  however,  will  permit  me  to  do  little  more 
than  mention  them.  And  if  some  of  them  might 
be  addressed  with  more  force  to  parents  than  to 
young  men,  let  it  be  remembered  that  the  young 
may  he  parer^ts,  and  if  they  cannot  recall  the  past, 
and  correct  the  errors  in  their  own  education,  they 
can,  at  least,  hope  to  prevent  the  same  errors  in  the 
education  of  others. 

1 FALSE  DELICACY. 

Too  much  of  real  delicacy  can  never  be  incul- 
cated ; but  in  our  early  management,  we  seem  to 
implant  the  false^  instead  of  the  true.  The  lan- 
guage we  use,  in  answering  the  curious  questions 
of  children,  often  leads  to  erroneous  associations 
of  ideas;  and  it  is  much  better  to  be  silent.  By 
the  falsehoods  which  we  think  it  necessary  to  tell, 
we  often  excite  still  greater  curiosity,  instead  of' 
satisfying  that  which  already  exists.  I will  no® 
28^ 


330  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Another  error  in  education.  Diseased  curiosity.  Danger. 

undertake  to  decide  what  ought  to  be  done ; but 
silence,  I am  certain,  would  be  far  better  than  falser 
hood. 

Tliere  is  another  error,  which  is  laid  deeper  still, 
because  it  begins  earlier.  I refer  to  the  half  Mor 
liammedan  practice  of  separating  the  two  sexes  at 
school.  This  practice,  I am  aware  has  strong 
advocates ; but  it  seems  to  me  they  cannot  have 
watched  closely  the  early  operations  of  their  own 
minds,  and  observed  how  curiosity  was  awakened, 
and  wanton  imaginations  fostered  by  distance,  and 
apparant  and  needless  reserve. 

2.  LICENTIOUS  BOOKS,  PICTURES,  &C. 

This  unnatural  reserve,  and  the  still  more  im-^ 
natural  falsehoods  already  mentioned,  prepare  the 
youthful  mind  for  the  reception  of  any  thing  which 
has  the  semblance  of  information  on  the  points  to 
which  curiosity  is  directed.  And  now  comes  the 
danger.  The  world  abounds  in  impure  publica- 
tions, which  almost  all  children,  (boys  especially,) 
at  sometime  or  other,  contrive  to  get  hold  of,  in 
spite  of  ^parental  vigilance.  If  these  books  con- 
tained truth,  and  nothing  but  truth,  their  clandes- 
tine circulation  would  do  less  mischief.  But  they 
generally  impart  very  little  information  which  is 
really  valuable ; on  the  contrary  they  contain  much 
falsehood ; especially  when  they  profess  to  instruct 
on  certain  important  subjects.  Let  me  repeat  it 
^hen,  they  cannot  be  relied  on ; and  in  the  langua^e^ 


LEWD  BOOKS,  PICTURES,  &C.  331 

Licentious  paintings  and  engravings.  The  stage.  The  shop. 

of  another  book,  on  another  subject ; ‘ He  that 
trustetli  ’ to  them,  ‘ is  a fool.’ 

The  same  remarks  might  be  extended,  and  with 
even  more  justice,  to  licentious  paintings  and  en- 
gravings, wliich  circulate  in  various  ways.  And 
I am  sorry  to  include  in  this  charge  not  a few 
which  are  publicly  exhibited  for  sale,  in  the  win- 
dows of  our  shops.  You  may  sometimes  find 
obscene  pictures  under  cover  of  a watch-case  or 
snuff  box.  In  short,  there  w^ould  often  seem  to  be 
a general  combination  of  human  and  infernal  ef- 
forts to  render  the  juvenile  thoughts  and  affections 
impure ; and  not  a few  parents  themselves  enter 
into  the  horrible  league. 

On  this  subject  Dr.  Dwight  remarks;  ‘The  num- 
bers of  the  poet,  the  delightful  melody  of  song,  the 
fascination  of  the  chisel,  and  the  spell  of  the  pencil, 
have  been  all  volunteered  in  the  service  of  Satan 
for  the  moral  destruction  of  unhappy  man.  To 
finish  this  work  of  malignity  the  stage  has  lent  all 
its  splendid  apparatus  of  mischief;  the  shop  has 
been  converted  into  a show-box  of  temptations; 
and  its  owner  into  a pander  of  iniquity.’  ^nd  in 
another  place ; ‘ Genius,  in  every  age,  and  in  every 
country,  has,  to  a great  extent,  prostituted  its  ele- 
vated powers  for  the  deplorable  purpose  of  seduc- 
ing thoughtless  minds  to  this  sin’  Are  these  re- 
marks too  sweeping  ? In  my  own  opinion,  not  at 
all.  Let  him,  who  doubts,  take  a careful  survey  of 
the  whole  of  this  dangerous  ground. 


332  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Licentious  songs.  Anecdote  of  a teacher. 


3.  OBSCENE  AND  IMPROPER  SONGS. 

The  prostitution  of  the  melody  of  song,  men- 
tioned by  Dr.  Dwight,  reminds  me  of  another  seri- 
ous evil.  Many  persons,  and  even  not  a few  intelli- 
gent parents,  seem  to  think  that  a loose  or  immoral 
song  cannot  much  injure  their  children,  especially 
if  they  express  their  disapprobation  of  it  afterwards. 
As  if  the  language  of  the  tongue  could  give  the  lie 
to  the  language  of  the  heart,  already  written,  and 
often  deeply,  in  the  eye  and  countenance.  For  it  is 
notorious  that  a considerable  proportion  of  parents 
tolerate  songs  containing  very  improper  sentiments, 
and  hear  them  with  obvious  interest,  how  much 
soever  they  may  wish  their  children  to  have  a bet- 
ter and  purer  taste.  The  common  ‘ love  songs’  are 
little  better  than  those  already  mentioned. 

It  is  painful  to  think  what  errors  on  this  subject 
are  sometimes  tolerated  even,  by  decent  society.  1 
knew  a schoolmaster  who  did  not  hesitate  to  join 
occasional  parties,  (embracing,  among  others,  pro- 
fessedly Christian  parents,)  for  the  purpose  of 
spending  his  long  winter  evenings,  in  hearing  songs 
from  a very  immoral  individual,  not  a few  of  which 
were  adapted  to  the  most  corrupt  taste,  and  unfit  to 
be  heard  in  good  society.  Yet  the  community  in 
which  he  taught  was  deemed  a religious  commu- 
nity ; and  the  teacher  himself  prayed  in  his  school, 
morning  and  evening!  Others  I have  known  to 
conduct  even  worse,  though  perhaps  not  quite  so 
openly. 


DOUBLE  ENTENDRE  S.  833 

Speeches  with  double  meanings.  St.  Paul’s  directions. 

I mention  these  things,  not  to  reproach  teachers, 
— for  I think  their  moral  character,  in  this  country, 
generally,  far  better  than  their  intellectual,  — but  as 
a specimen  of  perversion  in  the  public  sentiment ; 
and  also  as  a hint  to  all  who  have  the  care  of  the 
young.  Pupils  at  school,  cannot  fail  to  make  cor- 
rect  inferences  from  such  facts  as  the  foregoing. 

4.  DOUBLE  ENTENDRES.  ^ 

By  this  is  meant  ’seemingly  decent  speeches^  with 
double  meanings,  I mention  these  because  they 
prevail,  in  some  parts  of  the  country,  to  a most 
alarming  degree ; and  because  parents  seem  to  re- 
gard them  as  perfectly  harmless.  Shall  I say  — to 
show  the  extent  of  the  evil  — that  they  are  some- 
times heard  from  both  parents?  Now  no  serious 
observer  of  human  life  and  conduct  can  doubt  that 
by  every  species  of  impure  language,  whether  in 
the  form  of  hints,  innuendoes,  double  entendres,  or 
plainer  speech,  impure  thoughts  are  awakened,  a 
licentious  imagination  inflamed,  and  licentious  pur- 
poses formed,  which  would  otherwise  never  have 
existed.  Of  all  such  things  an  inspired  writer  has 
long  ago  said  — and  the  language  is  still  applica- 
ble; — ‘ Let  them  not  be  so  much  as  named  among 
you.’ 

I have  been  in  families  where  these  loose  insin-^ 
nations,  and  coarse  innuendoes  were  so  common. 


* Pronounced  entaunders. 


334  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

State  of  things  in  some  families.  Precocity.  Its  danger. 


that  the  presence  of  respectable  company  scarcely 
operated  as  a restraint  upon  the  unbridled  tongues, 
even  of  the  parents ! Many  of  these  things  had 
been  repeated  so  often,  and  under  such  circumstan- 
ces that  the  children,  at  a-  very  early  age,  perfectly 
understood  their  meaning  and  import.  Yet  had 
these  very  same  children  asked  for  direct  infor- 
mation, at  this  time,  on  the  subjects  w^hich  had 
been  rendered  familiar  to  them  thus  incidentally, 
the  parents  would  have  staitled;  and  would  un- 
doubtedly have  repeated  to  them  part  of  a string 
of  falsehoods,  with  which  they  had  been  in  the 
habit  of  attempting  to  ‘ cover  up  ’ these  matters ; 
though  with  the  effect,  in  the  end,  of  rendering 
the  children  only  so  much  the  more  curious  and 
inquisitive. 

But  this  is  not  all.  The  filling  of  the  juvenile 
mind,  long  before  nature  brings  the  body  to  ma- 
turity, with  impure  imaginations,  not  only  pre- 
occupies the  ground  which  is  greatly  needed  for 
something  else,  and  fills  it  with  shoots  of  a noxious 
growth,  but  actually  induces,  if  I may  so  say,  a 
precocious  maturity.  What  I mean,  is,  that  there 
arises  a morbid  or  diseased  state  of  action  of  the 
vessels  of  the  sexual  system,  which  paves  the  way 
for  premature  physical  developement,  and  greatly 
increases  the  danger  of  youthful  irregularity. 


EVENING  PARTIES.  335 

Evils  of  night  assemblies.  A full  length  portrait  of  one. 


5.  EVENING  PARTIES. 

One  prolific  source  of  licentious  feeling  and 
action  may  be  found,  I think,  in  evening  parties, 
especially  when  protracted  to  a late  hour.  It  has 
always  appeared  to  me  that  the  injury  to  health 
which  either  directly  or  indirectly  grows  out  of 
evening  parties,  was  a sufficient  objection  to  their 
recurrence,  especially  when  the  assembly  is  crowd- 
ed, the  room  greatly  heated,  or  when  music  and 
dancing  are  the  accompaniments.  Not  a few 
young  ladies,  who  after  perspiring  freely  at  the  lat- 
ter exercise,  go  out  into  the  damp  night  air,  in  a 
thin  dress,  contract  consumption;  and  both  sexes 
are  very  much  exposed,  in  this  way,  to  colds,  rheu- 
matisms, and  fevers. 

But  the  great  danger,  after  ail,  is  to  reputation 
and  morals.  Think  of  a group  of  one  hundred 
young  ladies  and  gentlemen  assembling  at  evening, 
and  under  cover  of  the  darkness,  joining  in  con- 
clave, and  heating  themselves  with  exercise  and 
refreshments  of  an  exciting  nature,  such  as  coffee, 
tea,  wine,  &c,  and  in  some  parts  of  our  country 
with  diluted  distilled  spirit;  and  ‘keeping  up  the 
steam,’  as  it  is  sometimes  called,  till  twelve  or  one 
o’clock,  and  frequently  during  the  greater*  part  of 
the  night.  For  what  kind  and  degree  of  vice,  do 
not  such  scenes  prepare  those  who  are  concerned 
in  them  ? 

Nothing  which  is  here  said  is  intended  to  be  lev- 


336  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

A commoii  error.  The  moral  evil  outweighs  all  olhera. 

elled  against  dancing,  in  itself  considered  ; but  only 
against  such  a use,  or  rather  abuse  of  it  as  is  made 
to  inflame  and  feed  impure  imaginations  and  bad 
passions.  On  the  subject  of  dancing  as  an  amuse- 
ment, 1 have  already  spoken  in  another  part  of  the 
work. 

I have  often  wondered  why  the  strange  opinion 
has  come  to  prevail,  especially  among  the  industri- 
ous yeomanry  of  the  interior  of  our  country,  that  it 
is  economical  to  turn  night  into  day,  in  this  man- 
ner. Because  they  cannot  very  well  spare  their 
sons  or  apprentices  in  the  daytime,  as  they  suppose, 
they  suffer  them  to  go  abroad  in  the  evening,  and 
perhaps  to  be  out  all  night,  when  it  may  justly  be 
questioned  whether  the  loss  of  energy  which  they 
sustain  does  not  result  in  a loss  of  effort  during 
one  or  two  subsequent  days,  at  least  equal  to  the 
waste  of  a whole  afternoon.  I am  fully  convinced, 
on  my  own  part,  that  he  who  should  give  up  to  his 
son  or  hired  laborer  an  afternoon,  would  actually 
lose  a less  amount  of  labor,  taking  the  week  togeth- 
er, than  he  who  should  only  give  up  for  this  pur- 
pose the  hours  which  nature  intended  should  be 
spent  in  sleep. 

But  — I repeat  it  — the  moral  evil  outweighs  all 
other  considerations.  It  needs  not  an  experience 
of  thirty  years,  nor  even  of  twenty,  to  convince 
even  a careless  observer  that  no  small  number  of' 
our  youth  of  both  sexes,  have,  through  the  influ- 
ence of  late  evening  parties,  gone  down  to  the 


DISEASES  OF  LICENTIOUSNESS.  337 

A hint  to  some  professors  of  religion.  A dark  catalogue 

chambers  of  drunkenness  and  debauchery;  and, 
with  the  young  man  mentioned  by  Solomon, 
descended  through  them  to  those  of  death  and  hell. 

It  may  be  worth  while  for  those  sober  minded 
and,  otherwise,  judicious  Christians,  who  are  in  the 
habit  of  attending  fashionable  parties  at  late  hours, 
and  taking  their  ‘ refreshments,’  to  consider  whether 
they  may  not  be  a means  of  keeping  up,  by  their 
example,  those  more  vulgar  assemblies,  with  all 
their  grossness,  which  I have  been  describing.  Is 
it  not  obvious  that  what  the  wine^  and  the  fruit,  and 
the  oysters,  are  to  the  more  refined  and  Christian 
circles,  wine  and  fermented  liquors  may  be  to 
the  more  blunt  sensibilities  of  body  and  mind,  iii 
youthful  circles  of  another  description  ? But  if  so, 
where  rests  the  guilt?  Or  shall  we  bless  the  foun- 
tains, while  we  curse  the  stream  they  form  ? 

Section  III.  Diseases  of  Licentiousness, 

The  importance  of  this  and  the  foregoing  section 
will  be  differently  estimated  by  different  individuals. 
They  were  not  inserted,  however,  without  consid- 
eration, nor  without  the  approbation  of  persons 
who  enjoy  a large  measure  of  public  confidence. 
The  young  ought  at  least  to  know,  briefly,  to  what 
a formidable  host  of  maladies  secret  vice  is  ex- 
posed. 

1.  Insanity,  The  records  of  hospitals  show  that 
insanity,  from  solitary  indulgence,  is  common. 
Tissot,  Esquirol,  Eberle,  and  others,  give  ample 
20 


338  THE  TOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Catalogue  continued.  St.  Vitus’s  dance.  Epileps'y, 

testimony  on  this  point.  The  latter,*  from  a care- 
ful examination  of  the  facts,  assures  us  that  in 
Paris  the  proportion  of  insane  persons  whose  dis- 
eases may  be  traced  to  the  source  in  question,  is 
one  in  from  Jifty-one  to  Jifty-eighl,  in  the  lower 
classes.  In  the  higher  classes  it  is  one  in  twenty- 
three.  In  the  insane  Hospital  of  Massachusetts  — 
I have  it  from  authority  which  I cannot  question, — 
the  proportion  is  at  least  one  in  three  or  four.  At 
present  there  are  about  twenty  cases  of  the  kind 
alluded  to. 

2.  Chorea  Sancti  Viti;  or  St.  Fitus^s  dance. 
This  strange  disease,  in  which  the  muscles  of  the 
body  are  not  always  at  the  command  of  the  patient, 
and  in  which  the  head,  the  arms,  the  legs,  and  in- 
deed every  part  which  is  made  for  muscular  mo- 
tion often  jerks  about  in  a very  singular  manner,  is 
sometimes  produced  in  the  same  way.  Insanity 
and  this  disease  are  occasionally  combined.  I have 
known  one  young  man  in  this  terrible  condition, 
and  have  read  authentic  accounts  of  others. 

3.  Epilepsy.  Epileptic  or  Jailing  sickness  Jits,  as 
they  are  sometimes  denominated,  are  another  very 
common  scourge  of  secret  vice.  How  much  they 
are  to  be  dreaded  almost  every  one  can  judge;  for 
there  are  few  who  have  not  seen  those  who  are 
afflicted  with  them.  They  usually  weaken  the 
mind,  and  sometimes  entirely  destroy  it.  I knew 
one  epileptic  individual  who  used  to  dread  them 
more  than  death;  and  would  gladly  have  prefer- 
red the  latter. 


DISEASES  OF  LICENTIOUSNESS.  339 

Idiocy.  Palsy.  Apoplexy.  Blindness.  Hypochondria. 

4.  Idiotism,  Epilepsy,  as  I have  already  inti- 
mated, often  runs  on  to  idiotism ; but  sometimes 
the  miserable  young  man  becomes  an  idiot,  with- 
out the  intervention  of  any  other  obvious  disease. 

5.  Paralysis  or  Palsy,  is  no  uncommon  punish- 
ment of  this  transgression.  There  are,  however, 
several  forms  of  this  disease.  Sometimes,  a slight 
numbness  of  a single  toe  or  finger  is  the  first 
symptom  of  its  approach ; but  at  others  a whole 
hand,  arm,  or  leg  is  affected.  In  the  present  case, 
the  first  attacks  are  not  very  violent,  as  if  to  give 
the  offender  opportunity  to  return  to  the  path  of 
rectitude.  Few,  however,  take  the  hint  and  re- 
turn, till  the  chains  of  their  slavery  are  riveted, 
and  their  health  destroyed  by  this  or  some  other 
form  of  disease.  I have  seen  dissipated  young 
men  who  complained  of  the  numbness  of  a finger 
or  two  and  the  corresponding  portion  of  the  hand 
and  wrist,  who  probably  did  not  themselves  sus- 
pect the  cause;  but  I never  knew  the  disorder 
permanently  removed,  except  by  a removal  of  the 
cause  which  produced  it. 

6.  Jlpoplexy,  Tliis  has  occasionally  happened; 
though  more  rarely. 

7.  Blindness,  in  some  of  its  forms,  especially 
of  that  form  usually  called  gutta  serena,  should 
also  be  added  to  our  dark  catalogue.  Indeed  a 
weakness  of  sight  is  among  the  first  symptoms 
that  supervene  on  these  occasions. 

, 8.  Hypochondria,  This  is  as  much  a disease  by 


340  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Consumption.  Peculiar  form  of  this  disease. 


itself  as  the  small  pox,  though  many  regard  it 
otherwise.  The  mind  is  diseased,  and  the  indi- 
vidual has  many  imaginary  sufferings,  it  is  true; 
but  the  imagination  would  not  be  thus  unnaturally 
awake,  if  there  were  no  accompanying  disturb- 
ance in  the  bodily  functions.  Hypochondria,  in  its 
more  aggravated  forms,  is  a very  common  result 
of  secret  vice. 

9.  Phthisis,  or  consumption,  is  still  more  fre- 
quently produced  by  the  cause  we  are  considering, 
than  any  other  disease  I have  mentioned.  And 
we  know  well  the  history  of  this  disease;  that, 
though  slow  in  its  progress,  the  event  is  certain. 
In  this  climate,  it  is  one  of  the  most  destructive 
scourges  of  our  race.  If  the  ordinary  diseases  slay 
their  thousands,  consumption  slays  its  tens  of  thou- 
sands. Its  approach  is  gradual,  and  often  unsus- 
pected; and  the  decline  to  the  grave  sometimes 
unattended  by  any  considerable  suffering.  Is  it 
not  madness  to  expose  ourselves  to  its  attacks  for 
the  shortlived  gratifications  of  a moment? 

^ There  is  indeed  a peculiar  form  of  this  disease 
which,  in  the  case  in  question,  is  more  commonly 
produced  than  any  other.  It  is  called,  in  the  lan- 
guage of  physicians,  tabes  doi'salis,  or  dorsal  con- 
sumption ; because  it  is  supjiosed  to  arise  from  the 
dorsal  portion  of  the  spinal  marrow.  This  disease 
sometimes,  it  is  true,  attacks  young  married  peo- 
ple, especially  where  they  go  beyond  the  bounds 
which  the  Author  of  nature  intended;  and  it  is 


DISEASES  OF  LICENTIOUSNESS.  341 

Its  symptoms.  The  sufferer’s  only  hope  of  relief. 

occasionally  produced  by  other  causes  entirely  dif- 
ferent; causes,  too,  which  it  would  be  difficult, 
if  not  impossible  to  prevent.  Generally,  however, 
it  is  produced  by  solitary  vice. 

The  most  striking  symptom  of  this  disease  is 
described  as  being  a ‘sensation  of  ants,  crawling 
from  the  head  down  along  the  spine ; ’ but  this 
sensation  is  not  always  felt,  for  sometimes  in  its 
stead  there  is,  rather,  a very  great  weakness  of  the 
small  part  of  the  back,  attended  with  pain.  This 
is  accompanied  with  emaciation,  and  occasionally, 
though  not  always,  with  an  irregular  appetite.  In- 
deed, persons  affected  with  this  disease  generally 
have  a good  appetite.  There  is  usually  little  fever, 
or  at  most  only  a slight  heat  and  thirst  towards 
evening,  with  occasional  flushings  of  the  face  ; and 
still  more  rarely,  profuse  perspirations  in  the  latter 
part  of  the  night.  But  the  latter  symptom  belongs 
more  properly  to  common  consumption.  The 
sight,  as  I have  already  mentioned,  grows  dim ; 
they  have  pains  in  the  head  and  sometimes  ring- 
ing in  the  ears,  and  a loss  of  memory.  Finally, 
the  legs  become  weak,  the  kidneys  and  stomach 
suffer,  and  many  other  difficulties  arise  which  I 
cannot  mention  in  this  work,  followed  often  by 
an  acute  fever;  and  unless  the  abominable  prac- 
tice which  produced  all  the  mischief  is  abandoned, 
death  follows.  But  when  many  of  the  symptoms 
which  I have  mentioned,  are  really  fastened  upon 
an  individual,  he  has  sustained  an  injury  which 
29=" 


342  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Examples  of  suffering.  Author’s  correspondence. 

can  never  be  wholly  repaired.  All  he  can  hope  is 
to  prolong  his  days,  and  lengthen  out  his  life  — 
often  a distressing  one.  A few  well  authenticated 
examples  of  persons  who  debased  themselves  by 
secret  vice,  will,  I hope,  satisfy  those  who  doubt 
the  evils  of  this  practice. 

One  young  man  thus  expressed  his  sufferings  to. 
his  physician.  ‘ My  very  great  debility  renders  the 
performance  of  every  motion  difficult.  That  of 
my  legs  is  often  so  great,  that  I can  scarcely  stand 
erect ; and  I fear  to  leave  my  chamber.  Digestion 
is  so  imperfect  that  the  food  passes  unchanged, 
three  or  four  hours  after  it  has  been  taken  into  the 
stomach.  I am  oppressed  with  phlegm,  the  pre- 
sence of  which  causes  pain;  and  the  expectora- 
tion, exhaustion.  This  is  a brief  history  of  my 
miseries.  Each  day  brings  with  it  an  increase  of 
all  my  woes.  Nor  do  I believe  that  any  human 
creature  ever  suffered  more.  Without  a special 
interposition  of  Divine  Providence,  I cannot  sup- 
port so  painful  an  existence.’ 

Another  thus  writes;  ‘Were  I not  restrained  by 
sentiments  of  religion,^  I should  ere  this  have  put 

^ What  inadequate  ideas  are  sametimes  entertained  by 
young  professors  of  religion,  and  even  by  those  more  ad- 
vanced, in  regard  to  the  purity  of  character  which  is  indis- 
pensable to  the  enjoyment  of  a world  of  bliss  — a world 
whose  very  source,  sum,  end  and  essence,  are  Infinite  Purity 
itself ! 

Since  the  first  edition  of  this  work  was  published,  I 


DISEASES  OF  LICENTIOUSNESS.  343 

More  examples  of  disease.  Looking  to  the  grave  for  relief 

an  end  to  my  existence ; which  is  the  more  insup- 
portable as  it  is  caused  by  myself.  ’ 

‘ I cannot  walk  two  hundred  paces,’  says  anoth- 
er ‘without  resting  myself;  my  feebleness  is  ex- 
treme ; I have  constant  pains  in  every  part  of  the 
body,  but  particularly  in  the  shoulders  and  chest. 
My  appetite  is  good,  but  this  is  a misfortune,  since 
what  I eat  causes  pains  in  my  stomach,  and  is 
vomited  up.  If  I read  a page  or  two,  my  eyes  are 
filled  with  tears  and  become  painful : — I often 
sigh  involuntarily.’ 

A fourth  says;  ‘I  rest  badly  at  night,  and  am 
much  troubled  with  dreams.  The  lower  part  of 
my  back  is  weak,  my  eyes  are  often  painful,  and 
my  eyelids  swelled  and  red.  I have  an  almost 
constant  cold;  and  an  oppression  at  the  stomach. 
In  short,  I had  rather  be  laid  in  the  silent  tomb, 
and  encounter  that  dreadful  uncertainty,  hereafter^ 

have  received  several  letters  of  thanks  for  having  ventured 
upon  this  long  neglected,  but  important  subject.  Teachers, 
especially,  have  acknowledged  their  obligations,  both  in 
person  and  by  correspondence.  One  teacher,  in  particular, 
a man  of  considerable  experience,  writes  as  follows:  — 

‘The  last  chapter  of  the  book,  is  by  no  means,  in  my 
view,  the  least  important.  I regret  to  say  that  many 
religious  young  men,  through  ignorance,  are  attached  to 
the  last  mentioned  vice.  I could  wish  that  what  you  have 
written  could  be  carefully  read  by  every  young  man,  at 
least,  in  our  land.  Alas,  dear  sir,  how  little  do  mortals 
know,  when  they  do  not  understand  their  physical  struct 
ture!  ’ 


344  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

For  whom  this  book  is  intended.  References. 


than  remain  in  my  present  unhappy  and  degrad- 
ed situation.’ 

The  reader  should  remember  that  the  persons 
whose  miseries  are  here  described,  were  generally 
sufferers  from  hypochondria.  They  liad  not  advanc- 
ed to  the  still  more  horrid  stages  of  palsy,  apoplexy, 
epilepsy,  idiotism,  St.  Vitus’s  dance,  blindness,  or 
insanity.  But  they  had  gone  so  far,  that  another 
step  in  the  same  path,  might  have  rendered  a return 
impossible. 

The  reader  will  spare  me  the  pain  of  present- 
ing, in  detail,  any  more  of  these  horrid  cases.  I 
write  for  young  men,  the  strength — the  bone,  mus- 
cle, sinew,  and  nerve  — of  our  beloved  country. 
I write  for  those  who,  — though  some  of  them 
may  have  erred  — are  glad  to  be  advised,  and  if 
they  deem  the  advice  good,  are  anxious  to  follow 
it.  I write,  too,  in  vain,  if  it  be  not  for  young  men 
who  will  resolve  on  reformation,  when  they  believe 
that  theii*  present  and  future  happiness  is  at  stake. 
And,  lastly,  I have  not  read  correctly  the  pages  in 
the  book  of  human  nature  if  I do  not  write  for 
those  who  can,  with  God’s  help,  keep  every  good 
resolution. 

There  are  a few  publications  to  which  those  who 
are  awake  to  the  importance  of  this  subject,  might 
safely  be  directed.  One  or  two  will  be  mentioned 
presently.  It  is  true  that  their  authors  have,  in  some 
instances,  given  us  the  details  of  such  cases  of  dis- 
ease as  occur  but  rarely.  Still,  what  has  happened, 


DISEASES  OF  LICENTIOUSNESS.  345 

Where  the  path  of  error  may  end.  One  more  warning. 

in  this  respect,  may  happen  again.  And  as  no 
moderate  drinker  of  fermented  or  spirituous  liquors 
can  ever  know,  with  certainty,  that  if  he  continues 
his  habit,  he  may  not  finally  arrive  at  confirmed 
drunkenness,  and  the  worst  diseases  which  attend 
it,  so  no  person  who  departs  but  once  from  recti- 
tude in  the  matter  before  us,  has  any  assurance 
that  he  shall  not  sooner  or  later  suffer  all  the  evils 
which  they  so  faithfully  describe. 

When  a young  man,  who  is  pursuing  an  un- 
happy course  of  solitary  vice,  threatened  as  we 
have  seen  by  the  severest  penalties  earth  or  heaven 
can  impose,  — begins  to  perceive  a loss  or  irregu- 
larity of  his  appetite ; acute  pains  in  his  stomach, 
especially  during  digestion,  and  constant  vomitings ; 
— when  to  this  is  added  a weakness  of  the  lungs, 
often  attended  by  a dry  cough,  hoarse  weak  voice, 
and  hurried  or  difficult  breathing  after  using  con- 
siderable exertion,  with  a general  relaxation  of 
the  nervous  system  ; — when  these  appearances,  or 
symptoms,  as  physicians  call  them,  take  place  — 
let  him  beivare ! for  punishment  of  a severer  kind 
cannot  be  distant. 

I hope  I shall  have  no  reader  to  whom  these 
remarks  apply ; but  should  it  be  otherwise,  happy 
wfill  it  be  for  him  if  he  takes  the  alarm,  and  walks 
not  another  step  in  the  downward  road  to  certain 
and  terrible  retribution.  Happiest,  however,  is  he 
who  has  never  erred  from  the  first ; and  who  reads 
these  pages  as  he  reads  of  those  awful  scenes  in 


346  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Several  works,  on  this  subject.  An  extract. 

nature,  — the  devastations  of  the  lightning,  the  de- 
luge, the  tornado,  the  earthquake,  and  the  volcano ; 
as  things  to  be  lamented,  and  their  horrors  if  pos- 
sible mitigated  or  averted,  but  with  which  he  has 
little  personal  concern. 

Sympathizing,  however,  with  his  fellow  beings 
— for  though  fallen^  they  still  belong  to  the  same 
family  — should  any  reader  who  sees  this  work, 
wish  to  examine  the  subject  still  more  intimately,  I 
recommend  to  him  a Lecture  to  Young  Men,  lately 
published  in  Providence.  I would  also  refer  him, 
to  Rees’  Cyclopedia,  art.  Physical  Education, 

The  article  last  referred  to  is  so  excellent,  that  I 
have  decided  on  introducing,  in  this  place,  the 
closing  paragraph.  The  writer  had  been  treating 
the  subject,  much  in  the  manner  I have  done,  only 
at  greater  length,  and  had  enumerated  the  diseases 
to  which  it  leads,  at  the  same  time  insisting  jon  the 
importance  of  informing  the  young,  in  a proper 
manner,  of  their  danger,  wherever  the  urgency  of 
the  case  required  it.  After  quoting  numerous  pas- 
sages of  Scripture,  which,  in  speaking  of  impurity, 
evidently  include  this  practice,  and  denouncing  it  in 
severe  terms,  he  closes  with  the  following  striking 
remarks. 

‘There  can  be  no  doubt  that  God  has  forbidden 
it  by  the  usual  course  of  providence.  Its  moral 
effects,  in  destroying  the  purity  of  the  mind,  in 
swallowing  up  its  best  affections,  and  perverting 
its  sensibilities  into  this  depraved  channel,  are 


DISEASES  OF  LICENTIOUSNESS.  347 

""Extract  continued.  Contains  judicious  advice. 

among  its  most  injurious  consequences;  and  are 
what  render  it  so  peculiarly  difficult  to  eradicate 
the  evil.  In  proportion  as  the  habit  strengthens 
the  difficulty  of  breaking  it,  of  course,  increases ; 
and  while  the  tendency  of  the  feelings  to  this  point 
increases,  the  vigor  of  the  mind  to  effect  the  con- 
quest of  the  habit  gradually  lessens. 

‘We  would  tell  him  (the  misguided  young  man) 
that  whatever  might  be  said  in  newspapers  respect- 
ing the  power  of  medicine  in  such  cases,  nothing 
could  be  done  without  absolute  self-control ; and 
that  no  medicine  whatever  could  retrieve  the  mis- 
chiefs which  the  want  of  it  had  caused : and  that 
the  longer  the  practice  was  continued,  the  greater 
W'ould  be  the  bodily  and  mental  evils  it  would 
inevitably  occasion. 

‘We  would  then  advise  him  to  avoid  all  situa- 
tions in  which  he  found  his  propensities  excited ; 
and  especially,  as  far  as  possible,  all  in  which  they 
had  been  gratified;  to  check  the  thoughts  and 
images  which  excited  them;  to  shun  those  asso- 
ciates, or  at  least  that  conversation,  and  tliose  books, 
which  have  the  same  effect ; to  avoid  all  stimulating 
food  and  liquor ; to  sleep  cool  on  a hard  bed ; to 
rise  early,  and  at  once ; and  to  go  to  bed  when  likely 
to  fall  asleep  at  once ; to  let  his  mind  be  constantly 
occupied,  though  not  exerted  to  excess ; and  to  let 
his  bodily  powers  be  actively  employed,  every  day, 
to  a degree  which  will  make  a hard  bed  the  place 
of  sound  repose. 


348  THE  YOUNG  MAn’s  GUIDE. 

Other  forms  of  licentiousness  do  not  escape  punishment. 


‘Above  all,  we  w’ould  urge  him  to  impress  his 
mind  (at  times  when  the  mere  thought  of  it  would 
not  do  him  harm)  with  a feeling  of  horror  at  the 
practice;  to  dwell  upon  its  sinfulness  and  most 
injurious  effects;  and  to  cultivate,  by  every  pos- 
sible means,  an  habitual  sense  of  the  constant  pre- 
sence of  a holy  and  heart-searching  God,  and  a 
lively  conviction  of  the  awful  effects  of  his  dis- 
pleasure.’ 

I should  be  sorry  to  leave  an  impression  on  any 
mind  that  other  forms  of  licentiousness  are  inno- 
cent, or  that  they  entail  no  evils  on  the  constitution^ 
I have  endeavored  to  strike  most  forcibly,  it  is  true, 
at  solitary  vice;  but  it  was  for  this  plain  reason, 
that  few  of  the  young  seem  to  regard  it  as  any 
crime  at  all.  Some  even  consider  it  indispensable 
to  health.  Tliis  belief  I have  endeavored  to  shake ; 
with  how  much  success,  eternity  only  can  deter- 
mine. 

Of  the  guilt  of  those  forms  of  irregularity,  in 
which  more  than  one  individual  and  sex  are  neces- 
sarily concerned,  many  of  the  young  are  already 
apprized.  At  least  they  are  generally  acquainted 
with  the  more  prominent  evils  which  result  from 
w^hat  they  call  excess.  Still  if  followed  in  what 
they  deem  moderation,  and  with  certain  precau- 
tions which  could  be  named,  not  a few  are  ready  to 
believe,  at  least  in  the  moment  of  temptation,  that 
there  is  no  great  harm  in  following  their  inclina-^ 
lions. 


DISEASES  OF  LICENTIOUSNESS.  349 

Excess.  Guilt  far  short  of  this.  A great  mistake  made 

Now  in  regard  to  what  constitutes  excess,  every- 
one who  is  not  moved  by  Christian  principle,  will 
of  necessity,  have  his  own  standard,  just  as  it  is  in 
regard  to  solitary  vice,  or  the  use  of  ardent  spirits. 
And  herein  consists  a part  of  the  guilt.  And  it  is 
not  till  this  conviction  of  our  constant  tendency  to 
establish  an  incorrect  standard  for  ourselves,  and  to 
go,  in  the  end,  to  the  greatest  lengths  and  depths 
and  heights  of  guilt,  can  be  well  established  in  our 
minds,  that  we  shall  ever  be  induced  to  avoid  the 
first  steps  in  that  road  which  may  end  in  destruc- 
tion ; and  to  take  as  the  only  place  of  safety,  tlie 
high  ground  of  total  abstinence. 

But  although  the  young  are  not  wholly  destitute 
of  a sense  of  the  evils  of  what  they  call  excess, 
and  of  the  shame  of  what  is  well  known  to  be  its 
frequent  and  formidable  results,  — so  far  as  them- 
selves are  concerned,  — yet  they  seem  wholly  igno- 
rant of  any  considerable  danger  short  of  this.  For 
so  far  are  they  from  admitting  that  the  force  of 
conscience  is  weakened  by  every  repeated  known 
and  wilful  transgression,  many  think,  (as  I have 
already  stated)  promiscuous  intercourse,  where  no 
matrimonial  rights  are  invaded,  if  it  be  so  managed 
as  to  exempt  the  parties  immediately  concerned 
from  all  immediate  suffering  both  moral  and  physi- 
cal, can  scarcely  be  called  a transgression,  at  all. 

I wish  it  were  practicable  to  extend  these  re- 
marks far  enough  to  show,  as  plain  as  noon-day 
light  can  make  it,  that  every  criminal  act  of  this 
30 


S50  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Painful  condition  of  a parent.  Prevention  better  than  cure. 

kind  — I mean  every  instance  of  irregularity  — not 
only  produces  evil  to  society  generally,  in  tlie  pre- 
sent generation,  but  also  inflicts  evil  on  those  that 
follow.  For  to  say  nothing  of  those  horrid  cases 
where  the  infants  of  licentious  parents  not  only  in- 
herit vicious  dispositions,  but  ruined  bodies  — even 
to  a degree,  that  in  some  instances  excludes  a 
possibility  of  the  child’s  surviving  many  days;  — 
there  are  other  forms  of  disease  often  entailed  on 
the  young  which  as  certainly  consign  the  sufferer 
to  an  early  grave,  though  the  passage  thither  may 
be  more  tedious  and  lingering. 

How  must  it  wring  the  heart  of  a feeling  young 
parent  to  see  his  first  born  child,  which  for  any 
thing  he  knows,  might  have  been  possessed  of  a 
sound  and  vigorous  body,  like  other  children,  enter 
the  world  with  incipient  scrofula,  diseased  joints  or 
bones,  and  eruptive  diseaseSj  in  some  of  their  worst 
forms?  Must  not  the  sight  sink  him  to  the  very 
dust?  And  would  he  not  give  worlds  — had  he 
worlds  to  give  — to  reverse  those  irreversible  but 
inscrutable  decrees  of  Heaven,  which  visit  the  sins 
of  parents  upon  their  descendants  — ‘ unto  the  third 
and  fourth  generation  ? ’ 

But  how  easy  is  it,  by  timely  reflection,  and  fixed 
moral  principle,  to  prevent  much  of  that  disease 
which  ‘worlds’  cannot  wholly  cure,  when  it  is  once 
inflicted ! 

I hazard  nothing  in  saying,  then  — and  I might 
appeal  to  the  whole  medical  profession  to  sustaini 


DISEASES  OF  LICENTIOUSNESS.  351 

Recovery  never  complete-  Fearful  details.  A desirable  change. 


me  in  my  assertion  — that  no  person  whose  systein 
ever  suffers,  once,  from  those  forms  of  disease 
which  approach  nearest  to  the  character  of  special 
judgments  of  Heaven  on  sin  or  shame,  can  be  sure 
of  ever  wholly  recovering  from  their  effects  on  his 
own  person ; and  what  is  still  worse,  can  ever  be 
sure  of  being  the  parent  of  a child  whose  constitu- 
tion shall  be  wholly  untainted  with  disease,  of  one 
kind  or  another. 

This  matter  is  not  often  understood  by  the  com- 
munity generally ; especially  by  the  young.  I might 
tell  them  of  the  diseased  eyesight ; the  ulcerated — 
perhaps  deformed — nose  and  ears,  and  neck;  the 
discoloration,  decay,  and  loss  of  teeth  ; the  destruc- 
tion of  the  palate,  and  the  fearful  inroads  of  dis- 
ease on  many  other  soft  parts  of  the  body ; besides 
the  softening  and  ulceration  and  decay  and  eventual 
destruction  of  the  bones;  and  to  crown  all,  the 
awfully  offensive  breath  and  perspiration;  and  I 
might  entreat  them  to  abstain,  in  the  fear  of  God, 
from  those  abuses  of  the  constitution  which  not 
un^equently  bring  down  upon  them  such  severe 
forms  of  punishment. 

A thorough  knowledge  of  the  human  system  and 
the  laws  to  which  all  organized  bodies  are  subjected, 
would,  in  this  respect,  do  much  in  behalf  of  man- 
kind ; for  such  would  be  the  change  of  public  sen- 
timent, that  the  sensual  could  not  hold  up  their 
heads  so  boldly,  as  they  now  do,  in  the  face  of  it. 
Happy  for  mankind  when  the  vicious  shall  bo 


352  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 

Study  of  Physiology.  A caution.  The  best  youthful  guides. 


obliged,  universally,  to  pass  in  review  before  this 
enlightened  tribunal ! 

Young  men  ought  to  study  physiology.  It  is 
indeed  to  be  regretted  that  there  are  so  few  books 
on  this  subject  adapted  to  popular  use.  But  in  ad- 
dition to  those  recommended  at  page  346,  there 
are  portions  of  several  works  which  may  be  read 
with  advantage  by  the  young.  Such  are  some  of 
the  more  intelligible  parts  of  Richerand’s  Physiolo- 
gy, as  at  page  38  of  the  edition  with  Dr.  Chapman’s 
notes ; and  of  the  ‘ Outlines  of  Physiology,’  and  the 
^ Anatomical  Class  Book,’  two  works  recently  issued 
in  Boston.  It  must,  however,  be  confessed,  that 
none  of  these  works  are  sufficiently  divested  of 
technicalities,  to  be  well  adapted,  as  a whole,  to  the 
general  reader.  Physiology  is  one  of  those  foun- 
tains at  which  it  is  somewhat  dangerous  to  ‘ taste,’ 
unless  we  ‘ drink  deep  ; ’ on  account  of  the  tendency 
of  superficial  knowledge  to  empiricism.  Still,  I am 
fully  of  the  opinion  that  even  superficial  knowledge, 
on  this  long  neglected  topic,  is  less  dangerous  both 
to  the  individual  and  to  the  community,  than  entire 
ignorance. 

And  after  all,  the  best  guides  would  be  parents. 
When  will  Heaven  confer  sucli  favors  upon  us? 
When  will  parents  become  parents  indeed  ? When 
will  one  father  or  mother  in  a hundred,  exercise  the 
true  parental  prerogative,  and  point  out  to  those 
whom  God  has  given  them,  as  cncumstances  may 
from  time  to  time  demand,  the  most  dangerous 


DISEASES  OF  LICENTIOUSNESS.  353 

Appeal  to  the  young.  Physical  education  neglected. 

rocks  and  whirlpools  to  which,  in  the  voyage  of 
life,  they  are  exposed  ? When  will  every  thing  else 
be  done  for  the  young  rather  than  that  which  ought 
never  to  be  left  undone  ? 

Say  not,  young  reader,  that  I am  wandering. 
You  may  be  a father.  God  grant  that  if  you  are, 
you  may  also  act  the  parent.  Let  me  beg  you  to 
resolve,  and  if  necessary  re-resolve.  And  not  only 
resolve,  but  act.  If  you  are  ready  to  pronounce 
me  enthusiastic  on  this  subject,  let  me  beg  you  to 
suspend  your  judgment  till  the  responsibilities  and 

the  duties  and  the  anxieties  of  a parent  thicken 

'^1  ■ 
round  you. 

It  is  painful  to  see  — every  where — the  most  un- 
questionable evidence  that  this  department  of  edu- 
cation is  unheeded.  Do  you  ask  how  the  evidence 
is  obtained  ? I answer  by  asking  you  how  the  phy- 
sician can  discover,  — as  undoubtedly  he  can, — the 
progress  of  the  drinker  of  spirituous  liquors,  by  his 
eye,  his  features,  his  breath,  nay  his  very  perspira- 
tion. And  do  you  think  that  the  sons  or  daugh- 
tei;|  of  sensuality,  in  any  of  its  forms,  and  at  any 
of*!ls  stages,  can  escape  his  observation  ? 

J3ut  of  v/tiat  use  is  his  knowledge,  if  he  may  not 
communicate  it  ? What  pei'son  would  endure  dis- 
closures of  this  kind  respecting  him-self  or  his  nearest, 
perhaps  his  dearest  and  most  valued  friends  ? No ! 
the  pliysician’s  lips  must  be  sealed,  and  his  tongue 
dumb ; and  the  young  must  go  down  to  their  graves, 
rather  than  permit  him  to  make  any  effort  to  save, 
them,  lest  offence  should  be  given  ! 

30* 


354  THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE, 

An  example  for  parents.  Closing  remarks  and  appeal. 

The  subject  is,  however,  gainiug  a hold  on  the 
community,  for  which  none  of  us  can  be  too  thank- 
ful. I am  acquainted  with  more  than  one  parent, 
who  is  a parent  indeed ; for  there  is  no  more  reserve 
on  these  subjects,  than  any  other.  The  sons  do  not 
liesitate  to  ask  parental  counsel  and  seek  parental 
aid,  in  every  known  path  of  temptation.  Heaven 
grant  that  such  instances  may  be  speedily  multi- 
plied. A greater  work  of  reform  can  scarcely  be 
desired  or  anticipated. 

But  I must  draw  to  a close.  Oh  that  the  young 
were  wise,’  and  that  they  would  ‘consider!’ 
‘ There  is  a way  wliich  seemeth  right  unto  a man. 
but  the  end  thereof  is  death.’ 

There  is,  then,  but  one  course  for  the  young. 
Let  them  do  that  which  they  know  to  be  right,  and 
avoid  not  only  that  which  they  are  sure  is  wrong, 
but  that  also  of  which  they  have  doubts.  Let  them 
do  this,  moreover,  in  the  fear  and  love  of  God.  In 
the  language  of  a great  statesman  of  the  United 
States  to  his  nephew,  a little  before  his  death,  let 
me  exhort  you,  to  ‘ Give  up  property,  give  up  every 
thing — give  up  even  life  itself , rather  than  presume 
to  do  an  immoral  acV  Let  me  remind  you  too,  of 
the  declaration  of  that  Wisdom  which  is  Infinite ; — 
‘He  that  sinneth  against  God,  destroyeth 

HIS  OWN  SOUL.’ 


AN  ADDITIONAL  CHAPTER. 


Section  L Choice  of  Friends, 

The  importance,  to  a young  man,  of  a few  wor- 
thy female  friends,  has  been  mentioned  in  Chapter 
V.  But  to  him  who  aspires  at  the  highest  possible 
degree  of  improvement  or  usefulness,  a select  num- 
ber of  confidential  friends  of  his  own  sex  is  scarcely 
less  valuable. 

Great  caution  is  however  necessary  in  making 
the  selection.  “ A man  is  known  by  the  company 
he  keeps,”  has  long  since  passed  into  a proverb ; so 
well  does  it  accord  with  universal  experience.  And 
yet  many  a young  man  neglects  or  despises  this 
maxim,  till  his  reputation  is  absolutely  and  irretriev- 
ably lost. 

Lucius  was  a remarkable  instance  of  this  kind. 
Extremely  diffident,  he  was  introduced  to  a neigh- 
borhood where  every  individual  but  one  was  an 
entire  stranger  to  him ; and  this  person  was  one 
whose  character  was  despised.  But  what  is  life 
without  associates  ? Few  are  wholly  destitute  of 
sympathy,  even  brute  animals.  Lucius  began  to 
be  found  in  the  company  of  the  young  man  I have 


85G  THE  YOUNG  man’s  guide. 

Story  of  i^ucius. His  mistake.  Rellections. 

mentioned  ; and  this  too  in  spite  of  the  faithful  and 
earnest  remonstrances  of  his  friends,  who  foresaw 
the  consequences.  But,  like  too  many  inexperi- 
enced  young  men,  conscious  of  his  own  purity  of 
intention,  he  thought  there  could  surely  be  no  harm 
in  occasional  walks  and  conversations  with  even  a 
bad  man ; and  who  knows,  he  sometimes  used  to 
say,  but  I may  do  him  good  ? At  any  rate,  as  he 
was  the  only  person  with  whom  he  could  hold  free 
conversation  on  “ things  that  v/ere  past,”  he  deter- 
mined occasionally  to  associate  with  him« 

But  as  it  is  with  many  a young  lady  who  has  set 
out  with  the  belief  that  a reformed  rake  makes  the 
best  husband,  so  it  was  with  Lucius ; he  found  that 
the  work  of  reforming  the  vicious  was  no  easy  task. 
Instead  of  making  the  smallest  approaches  to  suc- 
cess, he  perceived  at  last,  when  it  was  too  late,  that 
his  familiarity  with  young  Frederick  had  not  only 
greatly  lowered  him  in  the  estimation  of  the  people 
with  whom  he  now  resided,  but  even  in  the  estima- 
tion of  Frederick  himself;  who  was  encouraged  to 
pursue  his  vicious  course,  by  the  consideration  that 
it  did  not  exclude  him  from  the  society  of  those 
who  were  universally  beloved  and  respected. 

This  anecdote  shows  how  cautious  we  ought  to 
be  in  the  choice  of  friends.  Had  Lucius  been  a 
minister  or  reformer  by  profession,  he  could  have 
gone  among  the  vicious  to  reclaim  them,  with  less 
danger.  The  Saviour  of  mankind  ate  and  drank 
with  “publicans  and  sinners;”  but  He  was  well 


CHOICE  OF  FRIENDS.  357 

Character  of  friends. Select  a small  number  only. 

known  as  going  among  them  to  save  them,  though 
even  he  did  not  wholly  escape  obloquy. 

Few  are  aware,  how  much  they  are  the  creatures 
of  imitation ; and  how  readily  they  catch  the  man- 
ners, habits  of  expression,  and  even  modes  of  think- 
ing, of  those  whose  company  they  keep.  Let  the 
young  remember,  then,  that  it  is  not  from  the 
remarks  of  others,  alone,  that  they  are  likely  to 
suffer ; but  that  they  are  really  lowered  in  the  scale 
of  excellence,  every  time  they  come  in  unguarded 
contact  with  the  vicious. 

It  is  of  the  highest  importance  to  seek  for  com- 
panions those  who  are  not  only  intelligent  and  vir- 
tuous,  in  the  common  acceptation  of  the  term,  but, 
if  it  were  possible,  those  who  are  a little  above  them, 
especially  in  moral  excellence. 

Nor  is  this  so  difficult  a task  as  many  suppose. 
There  are  in  every  community,  a few  who  would 
make  valuable  companions.  Not  that  they  are  per- 
fect,— for  perfection,  in  the  more  absolute  sense  of 
the  term,  belongs  not  to  humanity ; but  their  char- 
acters are  such,  that  they  would  greatly  improve 
yours.  And  remember,  that  it  is  by  no  means  in- 
despensable  that  your  circle  of  intimate  friends  be 
very  large.  Nay,  it  is  not  even  desirable,  in  a world 
like  this.  You  may  have  many  acquaintances,  but 
I should  advise  you  to  have  but  few  near  friends.  If 
you  have  one,  who  is  what  he  should  be,  you  are 
comparatively  happy. 


858 


THE  YOUNG  MAN’s  GUIDE. 


Wearing  hats  in  the  house.  Its  tendency. 


Section  IL  Rudeness  of  Manners, 

By  rudeness  I do  not  mean  mere  coarseness  or 
rusticity,  for  that  were  more  pardoftable;  but  a 
want  of  civility.  In  this  sense  of  the  term.,  I am 
prepared  to  censure  one  practice,  which  in  the  sec- 
tion on  Politeness,  was  overlooked.  I refer  to  the 
practice  so  common  with  young  men  in  some 
circumstances  and  places,  of  wearing  their  hats  or 
caps  in  the  house;  — a practice  which,  whenever 
and  wherever  it  occurs,  is  decidedly  reprehensible. 

Most  of  us  have  probably  seen  state  legislatures 
in  session  with  their  hats  on.  This  does  not  look 
well  for  the  I'epresentatives  of  the  most  civil  com- 
munities in  the  known  world ; and  though  I do  not 
pretend  that  in  this  respect  they  fairly  represent 
their  constituents,  yet  I do  maintain  that  the  tolera- 
tion of  such  a practice  implies  a dereliction  of  the 
public  sentiment. 

That  the  practice  of  uncovering  the  head,  when- 
ever we  are  in  the  house,  tends  to  promote  health, 
though  true,  I do  not  at  this  time  affirm.  It  is 
sufficient  for  my  present  purpose,  if  I succeed  in 
showing  that  the  contrary  practice  tends  to  vice  and 
immorality. 

Who  has  not  seen  the  rudeness  of  a company  of 
men,  assembled  perhaps  in  a bar-room — with  their 
hats  on ; and  also  witnessed  the  more  decent  beha- 
vior of  another  similar  group,  assembled  in  similar 
circumstances,  without  perceiving  at  once  a connec- 


RUDENESS  OF  MANNERS.  359 

Practical  questions.  Manners  in  families. 

tion  between  the  hats  and  the  rudeness  of  the  one 
company,  as  well  as  between  the  more  orderly  be- 
havior and  the  uncovered  heads  of  the  other  ? 

To  come  to  individuals.  Attend  a party  or  con- 
cert—no  matter  about  the  name ; — I mean  some 
place  where  it  is  pardonable,  or  rather  deemed  par- 
donable, to  wear  the  hat.  Who  behave  in  the  most 
gentle,  Christian  manner, — the  few  vv^ho  wear  their 
hats  or  those  who  take  them  ofF.^  In  a family  or 
school,  which  are  the  children  that  are  most  civil 
and  well  behaved  ^ Is  it  not  those  who  are  most 
scrupulous,  always,  to  appear  within  the  house  with 
their  heads  uncovered?  Nay,  in  going  out  of 
schools,  churches,  &c.,  who  are  they  that  put  on 
their  hats  first,  as  if  it  was  a work  of  self-denial  to 
hold  them  in  their  hands,  or  even  suffer  them  to 
remain  in  their  place  till  the  blessing  is  pronouncedj 
or  till  the  proper  time  has  arrived  for  using  them  ? 

Once  more.  In  passing  through  New  England 
or  any  other  part  of  the  United  States,  entering  into 
the  houses  of  the  people,  and  seeing  them  just  as 
they  are,  who  has  not  been  struck  with  the  fact  that 
where  there  is  the  most  of  wearing  hats  and  caps  in 
the  house,  there  is  generally  the  most  of  ill  manners, 
not  to  say  of  vicious  habits  and  conduct. 

Few  are  sufficiently  aware  of  the  influence  of 
what  they  often  affect  to  despise  as  little  things. 
But  I have  said  enough  on  this  point  in  its  proper 
place.  The  great  difficulty  is  in  carrying  the  prin- 


3G0 

Egotism. 


THE  YOUNG  BIAN’s  GUIDE. 


We  should  say  little  about  ourselves. 

ciples  there  inevilcated  into  the  various  conditions 
of  life,  and  properly  applying  them. 

Section  III.  Self-praise. 

Some  persons  are  such  egotists  that  rather  than 
not  be  conspicuous,  they  will  even  speak  ill  of 
themselves.  This  may  seem  like  a contradiction ; 
but  it  is  nevertheless  a truth. 

Such  conduct  is  explicable  in  two  ways.  Self 
condemnation  may  be  merely  an  attempt  to  extort 
praise  from  the  bystanders,  by  leading  them  to  deny 
our  statements,  or  defend  our  conduct.  Or,  it 
may  be  an  attempt  to  set  ourselves  olf  as  abounding 
in  self  knowledge ; a kind  of  knowledge  which  is 
universally  admitted  to  be  difficult  of  attainment. 
I have  heard  people  condemn  their  past  conduct  in 
no  measured  terms,  who  would  not  have  borne . a 
tithe  of  the  same  severity  of  remark  from  others. 
Perhaps  it  is  not  too  much  to  affirm  that  persons  of 
this  description  are  often  among  the  vainest,  if  not 
the  proudest  of  the  community. 

In  general,  it  is  the  best  way  to  say  as  little  about 
ourselves,  our  friends,  our  books,  and  our  circum- 
stances as  possible.  It  is  soon  enough  to  speak  of 
ourselves  when  we  are  compelled  to  do  it  in  our 
own  defence 


